Archie And Reg

Archie is in a terrible mood. Nothing new there, but this time nothing will shift it. There's only one thing that may help and that's reminiscing over all those glorious times he has caused Reg terrible harm. Will it be enough?Post recovery thoughts turn to Morbid Malcolm who used to look so sad when the bottom fell out of the ladies underwear market. Luckily he had a way of cheering himself up in the Gents.And as if that isn't enough, bloody Elton John is in the club...and he's brought the kids along!

Archie & Reg would like to wish Yuletide felicitations to all of you filthy Funtybunters and hope that you're having a lovely day...unlike Archie whose plan to upset the orphans with the aid of Reg's testicles has gone wrong.Elsewhere Morrisey is causing problems, but not quite as many as a certain Mr.J.Christ of Nazareth who, much to his disgust, has been outed as a commoner by Archie.Anyway, firm regards and best wishes,A&R.

Archie is beside himself with fury as his oil lamp has gone missing. Could this have a connection with Reg’s previous infatuation with that terrible bounder Nigel Havers?Furthermore Reg believes he has a joke worth telling. Archie is less convinced...

The light entertainment world of the 1970s has come under the spotlight recently which reminds our titular duo of the foul deeds of respected newscaster Sir Trevor Macdonald and in particular the unfortunate predicament that befell Angela Rippon when the apparently friendly rivalry betwixt God’s own BBC and the grubby little ITV went a little far.In other news Archie still has his captive under the stairs and Reg has fallen for the charms of Mavis The Cleaner.

Why would a man be in a forest? What on Earth can be going on? And why doesn’t he make a sound…or does he?In other news Bubter, the manager of the bar, has made a shocking announcement which reminds Archie of the time that a popular sitcom popped in to the club. But that isn’t the point. Maybe a protest is called for. Maybe a special sort of protest?

As disgusting as this may sound Reg has been caught red handed watching the third channel. ITV! Not the BBC, the Queen’s television service, but the network channel. Archie is disgusted. He is also confused by the idea of a show in which Anton du Deke, or is it Ant and Dec, imprisons people in a jungle and then spies on them. That can’t be right, can it?In other news Reg has decided he fancies himself as a Poet. Is there something more sinister here? Is he becoming one of those Lavender Boys?And finally Archie and Reg hear from a man who, beyond any shadow of a doubt, has sex with dogs.

There’s trouble afoot! Archie’s attempts to snort Gin are disrupted by Reg and his desire to become a life coach (whatever the hell that means). He’s already providing his services to one Harry Styles and a phone call from (not) The Pope arouses Archie’s interests.Elsewhere there is an incident with Clive’s wife who is mucking around and flashing her underparts. You can’t trust them!Follow the boys on Twitter @ArchieAndReg or seek them out on Facebook!

A man and a lady have been seen holding hands. Whilst this is already distasteful enough there is a real concern that the man seemed to actually be a lady! What the hell could that be about? And what does it have to do with the creator of the fictional superspy James Bond?Elsewhere thoughts turn to Schrödinger and the nonsense he used to get up to extorting money from people with that bloody box of his.And whilst we’re at it, what’s that Grandfather clock for?

Matters political are concerning our duo as they contemplate the fothrcoming midterm election in America. That Mr.Trump chappie may well have introduced a law to have people put in a hole and shot! Or something. Maybe not. But there is also the small matter of cats in Arkansas to ponder.In other news, bloody Theresa May is in the club again and she is more determined than ever to give Reg a touching!

The time has come for our titular duo to write their life stories. Sadly Archie can't get anywhere and Reg's only interesting moment (involving a King Charles Spaniel) isn't enough to fill a page never mind a whole book.Elsewhere Richard Madeley is back with her another sitcom idea and a pig under his arm.But first, a song.

The boys are back! Archie recalls an unfortunate time back in 68 when he was on tour with Elvis Presley and the issues created by the penchant The King had for a sack of budgerigars before his legendary Vegas shows...but first they have to take issue with a so-called "podcast" so-called "review"...Archie and Reg are now on Twitter @ArchieAndReg and Facebook www.facebook.com/ArchieAndReg

Slowly but surely series 2 creeps ever closer…but until it finally explodes hard into your ears why not join our titular twosome for another half hour compiled from some of their best bits as Reg hides a Carry On star in his trousers, Archie’s life is made difficult by a furry visitor and bloody Derek is late. Or dead. Or both.

A simple game of charades was never going to be straightforward. Reg’s attempt to entertain a bored Archie soon descends into a confusion about the concept of television and a realisation that Archie’s nemesis could be hiding in plain sight! Afterwards our duo ruminate on the subject of time. As they reach the end of their fiftieth episode and, indeed, the series, they ask themselves “is this it?” Is this it? Will Archie and Reg ever return? (We’ve already recorded the next few episodes so it’s very likely they will in about four weeks’ time.)

Archie has suffered a medical embarrassment and his bag has burst. What he and Reg need now is Ted Rogers to come in with his mop and clean everything up. It's more likely that Rustie Lee and her Caribbean flavourings will turn up to help, but this could lead to Archie's honourable member falling off.

Gyles Brandreth has been showing off in the club again with his infamous Erotic Ballet. Drastic action is called for.

Nobody could imagine the fury that would be unleashed when from within Archie when Reg had the temerity to ask if he could borrow twenty new pence. Outrageous!

Reg, not for the first time, has misunderstood a rather simple notion and confused two national treasures whilst he's at it.

Archie and Reg find themselves in somewhat of a generous mood and would like to share some of their earliest ramblings and rantings with new listeners. Dogs, women and Dame Barbara Cartland are all given a firm going over and the horrific legend that is Dirty Steve makes his first appearance. Prepare to be firmly funtybuntered,..

Michael is a simplistic fellow who spends his days helping out around the club. Could there be more to him than meets the eye? Probably not, but that has never stopped our titular duo leaping to rather unlikely conclusions.

Ill children are one thing. Lionel Blair is another. But put them together and you have an enraged Archie who is a couple of Gins worse off.