Shot By Brock

We are not our circumstances. And while privilege, environment, the past and our place in the world play a huge role in our outcomes, we are not completely without a say in the way our lives twist and turn. And although copying the morning routines of billionaires is unlikely to turn us into billionaires, our mindset can play a huge role in the quality of our lives. It’s been said a thousand quotable times over a thousand years, but Henry Ford said it well enough when he uttered the words: “if you think you can do a thing or you think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” In a society with such heavy constructs, frameworks and conventions around the idea how life should be lived, it’s very easy to give up our ownership of life, and instead wait in vain for our time to come, for our big break, or to put the blame on external factors for everything that goes wrong in our lives. Surely it’s not our fault we’ve put on all this weight when they’ve only gone and opened a McDonalds next door? But when we st

As we hopefully begin to emerge from the Covid-19 pandemic, we step into the harsh light of a world on fire. Social injustice, climate change, corruption, inequality have never appeared so prominent. A landscape of crisis begging to be solved, and the failed detritus of all previous attempts at stewardship are calling for a new approach. Is a spiritual revolution the answer we’re looking for? And what would that look like in a world where the genie of materialism has been out of the lamp far too long to be pushed back in? Perhaps, instead of looking for answers ‘out there’ we should follow the advice of Thich Nhat Hanh, who said, “the way out is in.” But is contemplative introspection really the answer? Can that lead to the real change we need, or is it merely turning our backs on the problems of the world? In this episode of Conversations on Living (the new name of this podcast) I speak with Jeff Krasno, founder of Commune and The Wanderlust Festival, about how we can first do the work on ourselves that is r

Of all our relationships, sometimes the most difficult one we have is with ourselves. After all, no one experiences our mistakes, traumas, struggles and challenges more deeply and more vividly than we do. In a society that is fuelled by our dissatisfaction, that needs us to conform to near-impossible standards, it can be difficult to like ourselves enough to fan our own flames – or at the very least to be at peace with who we are. And after twelve months of a near-global lockdown in response to the global pandemic, we have never been face-to-face with ourselves more than we are now. How do we find the courage to face all that we need to face, to let go of all that we need to let go of, and to nurture all that we need to nurture, so that we can step into who we came here to be? Tanya Markul is the author of the hugely successful The She Book. Her beautiful poetry and prose gives the reader the permission they need to turn and face that which is most daunting – themselves. And in doing so it frees them to recog

Our experience of life is very much defined by our perspective. This then influences the way we interact with the world, which influences what happens to us, which influences the quality of our life experience. Many of us are programmed to look for the worst-case scenario. In the jungle this might have kept us alert to strange noise that might be venomous snakes or sabre tooth tigers, or other beasts that want to eat, trample on us, or skewer us with their tusks. But today this attention bias makes us focus on what could go wrong, instead of what might go right. And this, in turn, limits the quality of our life. But we are reprogrammable. The brain is incredibly plastic, and if we choose to put in the work, we can shift to a much more positive perspective. We can see opportunities. We can see possibilities. We can start to recognise the beauty of the world instead of just its ugliness, see how much we’ve got instead of what we’re lacking, and we can change the way that we interact with the world, and therefor

What does success look like? Social media is full of success porn – if it’s not pictures of sports cars and well dressed male models accompanied by motivational texts, it’s self-styled personal growth gurus telling us we’re not hustling hard enough. All designed to make us feel inadequate. But it success really about the number of zeroes on your bank balance, your body fat percentage and an Instagram feed full of private jets and exotic holidays? Or is it something else? Is it about being comfortable with not striving, not pushing for bigger, faster and shinier every minute of the day. Maybe success is about finding peace with who we already are, where we already are, and what we’ve already got. Maybe it’s about acknowledging, as Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield says, that “I’m perfect already, with room for improvement.” In this episode of my podcast I chat with author and journalist Oliver Burkeman about the innate sense of dissatisfaction that humans seem to possess. We chat about our constant desire for so

Everything vibrates. Every atom, molecule and particle has a frequency. Even the rotation of the planets have a frequency as they revolve around the sun. Things that vibrate can induce a similar vibration in neighbouring things. That’s how wireless phone charging works, for example. And it’s also how ideas are shared, and how we can have emotional reactions to music, literature and events. Things resonate with us. And how we vibrate also influences how we experience life and the world around us. Our frequency influences our relationship with existence. So when you hear the phrase “good vibes only” what does that mean to you? When you hear people talking about raising their vibration, what does that mean, and how can we do it? And what are the benefits? In this episode of my podcast I speak to Andy Wang, host of the podcast Guns, Roses and Spirituality, and an enthusiastic proponent of raising your vibration. Enjoy this conversation. Useful links: www.twitter.com/andysvibe https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast

Should we try to fix the world? Make it better tomorrow than it was yesterday? Should we try to fight what we perceive to be immoral actions and systems, injustices, to create a fairer, more compassionate world? And what does that fight look like? Is it a tick in the box of democracy? Is it taking to the streets to make our voices heard? Is it smashing those institutions that we perceive to be facilitating inequality, shouting in the faces of those who disagree? Is it to rage against this system that seems to serve some so well, while failing others so obviously? Or is it about choose to be the change we want to see in the world? Is it about raising our own standards and finding our own peace, so that the world itself, as corrupt and broken as it might seem, doesn’t corrupt and break us? How do we even know that our values – our politics, our beliefs, our own understanding of right and wrong, of fair and unfair – are even correct? How can we assume that we’re not the bad guys? The road to hell is, as they say

Life is hard and full of challenges. Buddhists would even go so far as to suggest that life is suffering as a result our attachment to it. It stands to reason, then, that the ultimate goal in life is not necessarily happiness, but the cessation of this suffering.   There are, perhaps, three routes to this goal. I’m sure there are many more if you were to explore the sutras, or read up on the philosophy of life, but for now I’ll settle with three.  One is to identify those things in our life that we’re unhappy with, which we perceive to be causing us suffering or unhappiness, and work to eradicate them. However, this can cause problems – further suffering – in itself. The constant striving for something different, something better, amplifies our dissatisfaction with where we are now. It amplifies our dissatisfaction with ‘what is’ and we find ourselves increasingly dissatisfied, disempowered, and resentful of how unfair life is.   There is an alternative though. If we find ourselves wrestling wi

We spend so much time in the future. Working towards goals and dreams, trying to meet our targets and KPIs. Deadlines, to-do lists, showing that we're good enough, worthy enough, capable enough. Or we find ourselves stuck in the past. Worrying about the things we said or did. Haunted by trauma, regret, anger or bitterness. Alternatively we're lost in our phones, absorbed into media, our attention drawn to the agendas of others, feeding the attention economy and the outrage economy. Manipulated, exploited, our eyeballs and brainwaves somewhere else, belonging to someone else. But we live right here, in this present moment. This is where we are, and as long as we're either in the past or the future, we're fighting against reality. Because the past if fixed, the future hasn't happened yet, the only place where we can be, do, live, is now. Meditation and mindfulness are buzzwords of the moment. They often seem woo-woo, or naive or impractical, but in a world that not only feeds off our anxiety and our dissatisfac

The phrase ‘mind, body, spirit’ is very much of the moment, and it is well-recognised that looking after ourselves physically can have a beneficial impact on our mental health, and vice versa. Stress, for example, can manifest itself as physical ailments. The mind, the body and the spirit are not separate things but are interwoven. Conventional approaches to health and wellbeing, however, tend to treat them separately. If you have a mental health issue, you go to a specialist in mental health. If you have physical problems, you go to a doctor who specialises in physical health. But what if your physical problems are a manifestation of a mental or emotional problem – who do you go to then? In eastern medicine, the connection between the body and the mind has long been recognised. The chakras are energy centres in our bodies that are connected to our spirit. In reflexology one part of the body is manipulated to treat another. So can we heal physical problems by treating our emotional and spiritual selves? And w

Sometimes, in the practice of mindfulness, we have to approach things in an intentionally mindful way. We have to drink our tea reverently, as if the whole universe revolved around it. This can be hard work. Other activities, though, are just mindful in the way that they need to be done. Half the time we don’t even know that we’re being mindful. Instead, we’re just enjoying ourselves in an activity that gives us reason not to be thinking about work, about paying the bills, about our troubles and traumas, or our obligations and worries. This is why we have hobbies, interests, and pastimes, to give us a break from everything we need to be thinking about, in order that we can focus completely on something in this moment. For some it’s sport, for others it’s art and crafts. And then there’s foraging. No matter how much we try to escape it with our cities and concrete, our routines and social structures, we’re never far from nature. Most of us could probably look around right now and see some greenery – whether it

Every day we are blessed with an opportunity to begin again. We are born anew, with the freedom to decide how the next moment will be, and the one after that, and the one after that. Today is New Year’s Eve, on what has been an incredibly difficult and unusual year for almost everyone around the globe. I wanted to share some thoughts about how we can take ownership of the next twelve month, of ourselves and our situation, so that we can be reborn – better, stronger, to live a deeper, more beautiful life. So here I am, just me, talking about setting our intentions for the next twelve months, and for a future of growth and fulfilment. Happy New Year, and hello 2021. A new day beckons. www.chrisbrock.uk

Attachment is suffering, and often the more attached we get to things, the smaller and difficult it can be to find peace in our lives. There’s so much we want that we can’t have, so much we have that we don’t want, and so much we are that we don’t want to be. We become attached to these ideas of how we are supposed to live, what life is supposed to be like, and what our values are supposed to be, that when things don’t fall into alignment with these ideas, we become uncomfortable. And guess what – that is most of the time. We are supposed to be slimmer, taller, wealthier, happier. The news fills us with angst and anger. We can’t have the fast cars and the big houses. There’s no justice in the world, and our governments are corrupt. How on Earth are we supposed to find peace with all of this going on? The problem is, we are addicted to certainty and absolutes. Absolutes of what is good, bad, fair and worthy. But there are no absolutes. And it is our attachment to these imaginary, impossible notions that c

What does it take to live a fulfilled life, and be a fulfilled person? To realise your potential and reap the rewards of a life well-lived? Is it achieving good grades at school? Getting a good college degree and a solid job for life? Good holidays, a fast car and a big house? Lots of money, lots of stuff, a six pack and amazing teeth? And if you don’t have these things, what then? Does that mean yours is not a life well-lived? Does that mean you are somehow not enough – not good enough, not wealthy enough, not as valid? And how do you measure it anyway? Is it through how much you have, or how many likes your holiday photos get? Is it through praise and grades and acceptance and validation? Is it through how much you’ve struggled and how much you’ve fought and argued for what we’ve got? It seem strange to think that we are born into this world without everything we need to fulfil our potential. That we don’t already come equipped – batteries included – to live the life and be the person we came here to be. Ye

Us humans have a great tendency to attach our identities to our circumstances, our past, our jobs or obligations, to the extent that it’s easy to lose sight of who we really are. We become victims of misfortune, defined by our careers, or unable to see where we end and the struggles we have to endure begin. It’s so easy to forget that behind all of these things, all of these ideas that we cling on to, is a unique individual, with as much right to be here as anyone else. Each of us is as valid and significant as anyone else – whether that might be The Queen, Donald Trump, Robert De Niro or Mother Theresa. We all have just as much right to exist, to be, and to take up space as anyone else. I chatted about ideas like this with the actor Kerry Howard. She generously gave up her time to share her own experiences dealing with imposter syndrome, letting go of negative identities that don’t serve us, and making the difficult decisions that are sometimes necessary to find happiness and peace in our lives. Useful links

How do you take ownership of your life? How do you overcome all the obstacles, the challenges, and carve out a you-shaped hole in reality? What does it take to become the artist behind the masterpiece of your life, and really make shit happen? If you anything like me, the sheer terror of what might go wrong, what people might say, of being outed as not good enough, not capable enough, not clever enough not whatever enough, is all it takes to stop it happening. Better to keep your head down, work hard, don’t rock the boat, and wait for amazing things to find you which, of course, they never will. But how about trying something different? How about going out there and getting stuck in. Try something. If that doesn’t work, try something else. Put your energy into it. Experiment. Get your friends, colleagues, contacts involved. Just do it. Easier said than done if you’re a terrible extroverted introvert like me. But in these days of global pandemics and lockdowns, where the frameworks of routine that we have come

Rarely do you hear the phrase “money isn’t everything” said by someone who has no money. Money is the fuel that keeps our society running, and it is hard to do anything without it. Unless we choose to live off grid eating windfall apples, the fruits of the forest and the animals we catch with our own hands, at some point we’re going to need money. And in a society where money keeps the lights on and the water running, it also means more than mere survival. Money has become a signifier for success, with status symbols and luxuries and Instagram lifestyles becoming proxy signals for the worthiness and validity that we have attached to having lots of money. But not having money can be extremely damaging. Speaking from my own experience, I understand just how big an impact being broke can have on self-esteem, confidence and sense of self-worth. Debt becomes a worrisome burden. The stress of money, of debt, of not having enough, literally kills people. The rules of money, like the rules of diet and the rules of pr

Life is hard enough as it is. But what kind of person wants to make it harder for themselves by, for example, choosing to set up their own business, rather than just getting a job? And who in their right mind would want to make it even harder by choosing to make it an ethical business, with moral and sustainable practices and supply chains? And what kind of person would choose to do this in a world that is designed to make it harder for them – a world designed for white, middle class men, when they are not a white middle class man? I am a white, middle class man. And I have, many times, struggled to simply get by in a system that was designed for people who look like me. So I’ve always wondered how people find success. Particularly people who choose to do it against even tougher odds than I have faced, and who choose to do it morally, and with decency. I have huge respect for everyone who chooses to go it alone, but even bigger respect for those who don’t look like me, who don’t have the advantages that peopl

You don’t need to go far to find something or someone to be angry at. If it isn’t our eyeballs and our attention that turns the golden bloated cogs of the attention economy, it’s our anger. The more enraged we become, the more tribalised we become, the more morally offended we become, the faster the wheels turn, and the more our manipulated emotions become currency. So how do we avoid becoming spiritual fodder for the political/economic meat grinder? Could kindness be the answer? Our lives happen in high definition. Every minute of every day is filled with vast amounts of information, much of it with added emotional and spiritual value. Someone smiled at us. We stubbed out toe. Our children aren’t feeling well. Is my manager angry at me? I hate this song on the radio. The shop has run out of my favourite breakfast cereal. What’s that awful politician done now? But we generally see other people’s lives in low definition. They become two-dimensional characters in the soap operas of our lives. We are only privy

Knowing what we want can be the hardest task many of us will ever face. After all, if we all knew what we wanted we could move ourselves towards it. But much of the time we put obstacles in our way that prevent us from answering that question, or stopping ourselves from taking the action we need to get there. Sometimes these obstacles are a manifestation of fear. We say we don’t have the time, the money, the intelligence or the right timing, but what we really mean, is that we’re scared. Scared of what might happen if it goes wrong. Scared of what might happen if it goes right. Scared of what might happen if get found out as imposters. But as Oliver Burkeman will tell you, “everyone is totally just winging it, all the time”. Or the reason you might be struggling, and that life seems much harder than it needs to be is because the path you’re walking is misaligned with who you are. Ask yourself this – are the things you doing, the decision you make, the actions you take, serving your own values and your own pur