Ignorance Was Bliss

How do you know the difference between fear and anxiety? ...between specific and generalized anxiety? ...between distractibility and ADHD? ...between inattentive and hyperactive forms of ADHD?   How about the difference between anxiety and ADHD?    The lines might be both clearer, and fuzzier, than you'd expect.  There are diagnostic websites all over the place, including Wikipedia, but I generally prefer the (...slightly...) less horrible/catastrophic approach as in websites like Very Well Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/dsm-5-criteria-for-generalized-anxiety-disorder-1393147https://www.verywellmind.com/adhd-4157282   Promos by Wining About Crime and Nature vs Narcissism. Sponsor is Bath By Bex (use code CBDkate for 15% off).

Some tattoos have more meaning than others.   Don't believe this middle-aged soccer mom? Listen to Mark Bullen, who is about to release a book about Russian prison tattoos and what they mean. It can help you think twice before randomly picking a symbol out of a tattoo parlor album just because it looks neat.   Mark's book can be pre-ordered on Amazon, though because I'm extra-cool I've already read it. I recommend it, assuming you're into that sort of thing. (And you're here, so...)   Promos are from Getting Off and All Crime No Cattle. Sponsored by Bath By Bex (code CBDkate for 15% off).

AA is considered by many to be the ideal treatment approach for alcoholism, of all types, and really for substance abuse, in all forms.   If you've put up with me for this long, you may not be shocked to learn that I don't believe there are many catch-alls in the world. Whether it's treatment methodology, blanket statements, or mindsets. Or pants.   I was #blessed to be joined by Kim (from People Are Wild) and Karla* (from Go Postal), for a very honest, vulnerable and genuine conversation about what it means to experience alcoholism, as a woman, and what it means to try to pursue help.   This is the first time I have deliberately covered the same topic more than once, and yet there is sadly little overlap between Episode 22 and this one. There's just too much to say, and too many ways to say it.  So hang in there. It's a lot.   *I don't identify Karla's podcast in the show, because I remembered to get permission to get her name, but forgot to ask about the show. She has given me the thumbs-up. Just so's you k

There are facts all around us, all the time. Things that happened. Things that exist. Things that are missing.And then there are the stories we tell about those facts, the way we connect different facts in order to tell a story.And if you're very lucky, you can meet someone who is willing and able to discuss this phenomenon, in depth, in a fun and engaging way.This was my fact: I got to speak with Steven Pacheco, of Trace Evidence. Here is yours: you can listen to him, off-script, and hear that he's a thoughtful, great guy even when he's not playing one on his own show.Promos from Murderish and Asian Madness. Sponsored, as always, by Bath By Bex (CBDkate for 15% off).

The first part of my conversation with Scott Reeder (Suspect Convictions) remains focused and topical. The second part tends to ...stray... a bit, but maybe it needs to in order to make it clear that whenever people talk about a single case, they're actually speaking about dozens of individuals, potentially hundreds of family members, and really the entire society in which the case exists.   They're not rabbitholes if there's something important down there somewhere...right? So, here's your chance to listen to me start off in a fairly well-behaved way and eventually practically accuse a man of murder (but not really). It was a challenging, thoughtful conversation, and I'm so grateful that Scott was willing to talk with me.   Promos by Murder and Such and Crime on the Mind, sponsor Bath By Bex (code CBDkate for 15% off at checkout).

What's the difference between obsession and determination? I think maybe it's research and journalism.    I got the chance to sit down with Scott Reeder, of Suspect Convictions, and he managed to boil a book and a full season of a podcast down into a half an hour. He has such an intense and important story to tell.   Promos from Hoosier Homicide and Mysteries and Urban Legends (MAUL). They are my dear friends as well as crazy-good podcasters, please check them out.   Sponsor is bathbybex.com, use code CBDkate for 15% off at checkout.   Thank you again, Scott. Such a great chat.

Hard on the heels of an episode about stalking, I bring you... another episode about stalking.     But never fear, this one taps into a very different form, often and easily overlooked: female stalkers. Hear the brave and unexpected story of a listener, as well as more details of my personal life than are probably strictly necessary.     A huge thank you to Ursula, as well as to N and J, who have shared their stories in the last two episodes. If you think it was easy for any of them... think again.   Promos this week by Wives' Tales and Suspect Convictions. Don't forget my sponsor, bathbybex.com, with code CBDkate at checkout for 15% off.

Sometimes we laugh at the things that hurt the most. And sometimes we laugh at the impressive stupidity of the things that hurt the most.   Sometimes we rage at the patriarchy. And sometimes we understand that it's not necessarily the fault of the patriarchy, but we rage at it nonetheless.   Sometimes we end a relationship before it ends us.   Visit http://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims or call 855-4-VICTIM if you think you are the target of stalking or know someone who is. Please.   Thank you, again, to J and N for your bravery and honesty and freaking hilarity. Such an honor.   Promos by Two Hexy Mamas and Murder Mile. Sponsored by bathbybex.com (use code CBDkate for 15% off).

I was so lucky, recently, to be able to go on a two-week adventure around the British Isles with my husband and two older kids.   I was extra-lucky to be able to stay a night in Dublin, during which Sinead, from the Mens Rea podcast, was gracious enough to show us a glimpse of the city, take us to dinner and a show, and spend a few hours with me... first recording this conversation, then hanging out at the PantiBar. Sinead hosts one of the first podcasts I ever listened to, and she is fully aware of just how fabulous her voice is -- almost as amazing as the rest of her.   So sit back and relax while Sinead and I (joined by Emily!) get riled up over the pedophile priest scandals on both sides of the Atlantic, ponder the existance of giraffes, narwhals and Oprah, and banter in a wildly inappropriate manner.   Which, if you're into that sort of thing... there is probably about half an hour of inappropriate *and* irrelevant banter that I cut out, for the sake of time, but that I can't bear to outright discard. It

This is a hodgepodge of silliness, weirdness and outright giddiness, captured one morning midway through our family vacation. We talk about the ways jet lag can appear in different teenagers, why Emily is now haunted, and what we mean when we say "MURDERBIRD."   You probably should just skip this one, it's really random and I'm still not entirely sure why I hit "record," except it was fun and we're having an amazing vacation and it's really, really important that you understand just how dangerous owls truly are.

Most of the time, we can rely on the people around us -- family, friends, coworkers -- to help remind us what "normal" mostly looks like. But what about the times when we're allowed to believe our own hype? ...especially when our hype is more than a little off-kilter from the start?Check out the Voice of the Victim podcast for the first two parts of this story, when we lay out a more detailed timeline and narrative of the life and crimes of Sheila LaBarre, a particularly dangerous and unkind specimen of humanity. Then listen here to decide, exactly how do we know when normal has gone too far? And if Kenny Countie's mother hadn't intervened as firmly as she did, just how many other victims might she have claimed?   Promos from Killin' It: The Crimecast and Nothing Rhymes With Murder, both of whom just might be joining me at a meetup at the Ten Bells pub in London on Friday, 13 July 2018!!  

I'm heading out on a family vacation, but first, a few things... 

What can you do when a faraway friend is struggling? What about when your kid defines Jesus for you? How about when you're not 100% certain that your loved ones actually know they're loved?   Settle in for another meandering conversation -- but maybe not so meandering after all -- with published author and podcaster extraordinaire, Jesse Pollack.   Promos by Mens Rea and Mypoia. Check out bathbybex.com (use code CBDkate for 15% off).

Sometimes the most structured and predictable situations can suddenly go unpredictably off-script, in the very best ways. Laura and I started off this episode by following a literal script about Frederick Baer, who committed a truly horrible pair of murders while coming off a meth binge, and we ended up immersed in a very real conversation about what that could possibly have to do with a mother and grandmother facing theft charges.It went deep, in a beautiful way. Thanks again to Laura for her openness and courage.   Promos by The Frankenpod and What the Actual Faith... Sponsors Sudio (code BLISS15) and bathbybex.com (code CBDkate) for 15% off at each. Art, as always and amazingly, by Emily. Music by onlymeith.

Is it really that important to acknowledge the humanity of those who break the law, as well as those who are broken?   Yes. Yes, it is.   Listen in while Laura, from the Behind the Crime blog, and I try to convince you.   Promos from Let's Talk About Sects and The Voice of the Victim...sponsors Sudio (code BLISS15) and bathbybex.com (code CBDkate) for 15% off at each. Art, as always and amazingly, by Emily. Music by onlymeith.

Podcasters are an interesting bunch, especially those in the true crime world. I think we're often seen as cynical, sarcastic, potentially intrusive, thick-skinned, addicted to tragedy porn... but the truth is, we're a creative, vulnerable, diverse, mostly well-intentioned group of people who feel just as driven to create as a painter or a sculptor.    It's easy for me to say, but it can be even easier to believe if you hear it from more than one person, so here you go: Justin from the Obscura true crime podcast agreed to chat with me about the process behind pressing that little "publish" button. I hope you find it as interesting and enlightening and hopeful as I did.   And never fear: we also discuss serial killers and mass shooters and generally dark subjects, as well, so you get both the darkness... and the hope.    Promos from It's Haunted and The Vocal Fries, support from Sudio (code BLISS15) and bathbybex.com (code CBDkate) for 15% off at each. Art, as always and amazingly, by Emily. Music by onlymeith

Every once in a while, if you're very lucky, you'll form a friendship with someone who is smart and self-aware and vulnerable. And if you're not that lucky, you can at least listen in on a really fabulous conversation that unfolded between me and Kim (of People Are Wild fame). She talks about the process of realizing you might be an alcoholic, even if you don't drink every day, even if you're young, even if you don't think you are. It's pretty amazing, and I'm so grateful that she was willing to talk about it all in front of a microphone.Promos by Dark Poutine and Super Serious Social Justice. Sponsored by Sudio Sweden (code BLISS15) and Bath By Bex (code CBDkate).

Who gets to decide when you have a problem? Sometimes you know, and sometimes you're clueless. Sometimes you're aware, and sometimes you're in denial.   Especially when substances, even legal and aboveboard alcohol, are involved.   For this episode, I'm joined, once again, by Kim from People Are Wild, and if you haven't listened to her podcast yet, you're about to spend some time wondering why. I'm also joined by my son, who is not a 22-year-old binge drinker. Yet.   Tune in VERY soon for the rest of my conversation with Kim, just one episode away.   Promos by  Southern Gothic and Chewed Gum. Sponsored by Sudio Sweden (code BLISS15) and Bath By Bex (code CBDkate).

What does it mean to waste something? You have to value it first, then discard it, I think. But who decides, and how?   This becomes less cerebral and more real when the topic isn't a safe, high-level cerebral exercise, but instead a truly horrific and upsetting case of child abuse. We don't go into a ton of detail here, but it's enough for you to get the picture. Concepts like waste and value aren't just for the classroom.   Thanks again to Mo from Targeted: True Crime Domestic Violence for chatting with me, and please go binge her show right now if you haven't already.   Promos from Strictly Homicide and Two Broads Talking Politics, and please consider checking out the fabulous sponsors -- no cash back to me, but 15% off for you: Sudio Sweden (use code BLISS15) and Bath By Bex (use code CBDkate). Seriously, good stuff, all around. I'm @IWBpodcast on Twitter, Facebook, etc. Patreon is here, and merch is at Teepublic.

My dear friend and role model, Sharna, came on the show to show us how it should be done. Results include musings on credentials, clarifications on the differences between psychiatry and psychology, and commiseration on the misunderstandings re: therapy and assessment.  And, through it all, irreverence and recognition of the necessity of efficiency.   Promos from The Haunted Heart and Yeah No Yeah podcasts. Sponsored by Sudio Sweden headphones (code BLISS15 for 15% off) and Bath By Bex (code CBDkate for 15% off).