Torture Cinema

You picked it, and we’ve reviewed it (while drinking).  This week brings you the 4th installment of our unfortunate Twilight binge-viewing.  Nothing good can come of this… Thanks for all the votes, folks.  We hope you enjoy listening to us suffer… We hope you enjoy the episode! Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please […]

We’ve made it to 100 episodes.  Hooray us!  In order to celebrate, we’ve brought on Paul Weimer and Jen’s Husband (a.k.a. Normal Pants) to talk about the infamous film adaptation of Doom, starring Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson and Karl Urban (that slightly sexy guy from Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Riddick).  Oh, and to sweeten […]

We’re back with the second half of our drunken review of the second and third installments of the Twilight series.  This week, we review Eclipse, which is marginally better than the others.  Of course, that’s not saying much, now is it? We hope you enjoy the episode! Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give […]

You bastards forced us to watch this piece of crap.  As punishment, we’ve provided exactly 58 minutes and … seconds of pure comedic for your aural pleasure. But that’s not enough.  Oh no.  Reviewing New Moon, which may be the only film to cause severe back-knee bleeding, has given Shaun a wicked idea.  We’ll expose that […]

Our second episode of the third season is finally here.  I say that knowing it’s only been a few days since the last episode went live.  But we’re catching up on some unfinished business, so you’ll have to give us a break. Episode 82 is our much anticipated Torture Cinema feature, in which we review-while-intoxicated […]

We’re back with the last episode of the year.  And it’s a special one:  a Christmas Special involving a supposedly bad movie and alcohol. We hope you enjoy the episode! Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with […]

This week marks our first ever Torture Literature show.  And you’re definitely in for a treat.  We decided months and months ago that we would read and review Modelland by Tyra Banks.  Why would we do this to ourselves?  Because we think punishing ourselves is a great way to entertain all of you. So sit back, […]

You voted for it, so we have to watch it.  Today is our super special Halloween edition of Torture Cinema…and we’re watching Jason X, one of those awful science fiction horror flicks.  Thanks, guys.  We love you too. But to make things a little more interesting, we’ve decided to start including a little acting into […]

You voted for it…and we unhappily obliged your fascination with terrible movies.  This week we take on 2012, that terrible John Cusack and Amanda Peet flick about the end of the world.  After this, I’m pretty sure Jen and I will start reviewing films while drunk…maybe we’ll let you select the alcohol. In any case, […]

You voted for it, and now we’ve been forced to watch it!  This week we take on subpar scifi horror flick Mansquito (a.k.a. Mosquito Man).  We’re pretty sure it’s not the worst thing we’ve ever watched, but mediocrity can still be funny! Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a […]

What could be worse than a remake of a remake of a remake of a remake of an adaptation of a remade adapted adaptation remake based on a book?  A sequel… The title says it all.  We spend the whole episode trying to desperately to make it through our 5-by-5s.  Tune in to see if […]

You picked it, and now we have to talk about it for thirty minutes.  Thanks for that.  This month’s Torture Cinema features brings us face to face with the remake of The Wicker Man.  Tune in and listen to us desperately try to find something good in this film… Note:  If you have iTunes and […]

We’re back and pissed off.  Why?  Because our listeners chose Batman & Robin in our Torture Cinema poll and forced us to watch it.  Thanks a lot, jerks! The good news is I’ve “hidden” Arnold Schwarzenegger in the episode, which should bring you all some joy while we die of asphyxiation. The other good news […]

We’re back with yet another Torture Cinema torture fest.  This week we have Mia to thank for voting on Alone in the Dark — an Uwe Boll vehicle.  Thanks a lot, Mia!  We’ll see you in hell! Feel free to shoot us an email at skiffyandfanty [at] gmail [dot] com, leave a comment, or follow us […]

We’re back with another edition of Torture Cinema!  This time we look at the awful Dungeons & Dragons (2000) monstrosity.  The great thing about this episode is that you don’t have to watch the movie if you don’t want to.  We’ll do the dirty work for you! The episode is sure to bring some laughs, […]

There’s nothing quite like watching someone’s career crash and burn like a WWI biplane at the end of a dogfight.  This week we talk about the (arguably) worst movie of 2010:  The Last Airbender (written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan).  We won’t ruin the episode for you, except to say that it’s quite painful. […]

Our final episode for the year is a special Christmas edition of Torture Cinema!  This week we talk about Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, a fairly terrible Christmas movie.  Oh, and we have new (but temporary) intro music…very special intro music.  If you know the lyrics, sing along! Question of the Week: What is your […]

Torture Cinema is back and it’s switched genres.  This week we review Creep, a British horror film that is, by our account (and apparently by the account of the folks who recommended it to us) a rather terrible film.  Tune in to hear what we have to say about it. Question of the Week: What […]

Torture Cinema returns with our second episode.  This week we talk about some interesting genre-movie releases and one of the most awful science fiction films ever made.  Prepare yourself.  Bad things are about to happen to your brain… Question of the Week: What is the craziest book-related experience you have ever had? If you’d like […]

We’re changing things up.  This week we discuss the difference between the literary science fiction and literary fantasy “fields” and review the dreadfully awful film, In the Name of the King.  It’s one part serious, one part hilarity, and two parts fun. If you like the show, please review us on iTunes!  We could use […]