Lifes A Bach

The ladies take listener notes into consideration and go snacks first this week. Jill somehow misses the moment when Clare takes a whiff of Dale's pants which is quite possibly the best part of the episode, but we all get to relive it together. Mal admits to being a *bit* high maintenance in the early days of her relationship and Hill reminisces about thinking her husband seemed too "serious" when she first me him.   For hot take by Hill and this week's snack recipes head on over to https://www.snackmondays.com

It's Week 2 and despite the misleading trailers Clare is still the Bachelorette and the ladies are still talkin about it, kinda. They go deep on Love Languages and even deeper on balls featuring special (and surprised to be here) guest Kevin. Speaking of Blue Balls, there was no rose ceremony this episode so none of this matters. For snacks, Mal made an applesauce Quick Bread and Hill made her world famous Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies, find the recipes at snackmondays.com

It's been a lengthy wait but ya gurls' fav garbage TV show is back, and so are they! Despite Mal & Hill's aversion to existential quandaries the ladies discuss the possible implications of simulation theory - oh wait, this episode is about the premier of Clare's season of The Bachelorette. Somehow both of those things are true! This week Hill & Jill are snackin on Caprese salad and homemade focaccia thanks to the diligent work of craft services (Jake) and Mal is enjoying a snack mix and apple pie courtesy of her mom from a remote location (her house). Follow us on Instagram @snackmondays and find our snack recipes at snackmondays.com

Jill and Hill have an impromptu visit to catch up on the latest. They attempt to cover some very strange Bachelor Nation news regarding the season of The Bachelorette currently filming in Palm Springs (?) probably. Some Burbank babies make appearances while our resident baby noise expert Hank takes a nap in the other room. 

The ladies gather for a morning time Zoom date as evidenced by Jill’s sleepy man voice. It only takes her like 2 hours after waking up to sound normal, don’t worry about it! They manage to discuss Bach nation news for about 6 minutes and otherwise are just catching up on the latest. Please enjoy another episode with 3 bff’s doing their dang best during a weird ass time.

This week we all wore headphones and it mostly worked! Hank makes himself known, as he is wont to do. Don’t worry that’s how you spell wont in this context. I know you were worried. Anyway the ladies are in pretty good spirits this week as the stay at home order persists and we continue to exist in this new, very weird life. Turns out talking to your friends helps!

The ladies have a catch up sesh about this scary weird time in which we find ourselves trapped. They’re going to try to get back to recording once a week or so, topics TBD since Bachelor shows are on indefinite hiatus and Hillary doesn’t want to watch Listen to Your Heart. Can you blame her?

Mal & Jill try to wade through the finale of this garbage heap of a season. Hill is not present for this low-energy episode but instead is home with a sick kiddo so as not to put our immunocompromised (real word? Spelled correctly? There’s no way to know) cohost at risk. Her presence and her hot takes are sorely missed, we hope to regroup for more shows at some point... maybe or maybe not Bachelor related.

Mal completely forgets about the podcast and repeatedly tries to drive to Michael’s instead but somehow makes it to Jill’s house to deliver that hot content we’ve all been waiting for. Hill and Hank are both in good spirits and everyone enjoys breakfast.

UnREAL is the name of the dramatized version of The Bachelor that we forgot and also somehow didn’t let Hillary finish googling. Mal is back this week and, of course, baby Hank makes an appearance. Jill forgot their microphone at work, so who knows what kind of trash this will be like for your ears.

Jill and Hill get together to smash through a 3 episode backup while Mal takes some well deserved time off. Her presence is missed but the remaining ladies (and baby Henry the sleepiest boy in all the land) manage to cover 3 hot messy trainwreck episodes in just over an hour. PLUS you can finally hear Hillary talking!

The ladies convene to discuss the first episode of Pilot Pete’s season which overall was found to be very good television. Baby Hank was our special guest this week and he made his presence known! He was sleepy and likes to yell about being happy and he’s 6 months old so no one is allowed to be mad at us about it, okay? Okay deal.

The ladies get together for their third and final Paradise episode. It’s been a wild ride, and and they barely discuss it. This week on things Jill shouldn’t say in front of her brother: stuff about queefs.

Jill, Mal & Hill reunite and attempt to cover 6 episodes of Bachelor in Paradise but mostly spend 2 hours talking about the kids starting kindergarten, existential crises and morning farts.

Mal & Jill do their best to cover FOUR episodes where somehow there has only been one rose ceremony while Hill is out of town spending time with family. This is probably the actual most dramatic season of paradise ever and it is both enthralling and appalling and this episode is long AF as a result.

The ladies talk mostly about how Hannah is amazing and that’s really the most important takeaway from this season anyway. Also don’t go on a dating (let’s be real - marriage) show to boost your music career.

After several weeks off, the ladies get together for a cuddle puddle in Hill’s bed with her new precious angel Hank the Baby. Due to the sheer volume of shows to cover, they actually talk about the Bachelorette!

The ladies get together to talk about what was arguably the worst episode of any show ever and end up mostly talking about press on nails and doing musical theater as teenagers.

The ladies are no less tired and it is HOT today so brains is extra mushy. There were tacos and cookies and chocolate covered strawbs that they forget to discuss, Hillary didn’t have a chance to watch both episodes and Jill edited the episode together without listening to any parts of it while watching other people play video games.

The ladies go over some things they missed or didn’t get quite right on the last couple episodes and talk about doing a better job with the audio (while doing the same job with the audio.) They stay on topic for the first time in history because Hannah Beast is surprising and impressing everyone with her badassery.