Completely Seriously

Jagshemash! Our name a- Completely Seriously, and this we, we’re covering Borat 2: Subsequent MovieFilm. And much like the Borat that came before, we quickly get tired of it and talk about other things instead.

Neither the blackcoat–– nor his daughter–– could keep us from bringing you our ultra spooky #Halloween episode. So, settle in to your boiler room altar, grab your heads, answer the payphones because we’re covering The Blackcoat's Daughter.

This week, we’re following a deranged, handsome, expert mannequin refurbisher Elijah Wood as he stalks the Los Angeles night in the 2012 remake Maniac!

We’re bringing y’all a whole month of scary movies for our third annual fright film fest! First up is the Canadian cult classic werewolf movie Ginger Snaps.

This week, we’re swimming through a sky-high wave of beans to talk about our renewed love of Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar. Come for the space, stay for the beans. Goya Beans! They’re Beans!

This week we’re taking the opportunity to really dig into the tragic and momentous events and earth shifting changes happening around us. We’ll be back with the movies next week. Correction: In the episode, Joey mentions a woman with groceries who was shoved to the ground by police in Dallas. This was an accidental conflation of two separate events. The woman Joey describes was allegedly hit in the face with a rubber bullet.

We’re talking about the second part of #Beastars. Joe gets big mad about lions with guns and a hen’s unnecessary narrative. Jose and Marisa get mad at Joe and Mark for not liking an anime. Mark gets mad at high school drama. Come for the frank discussion of Coronavirus news, stay for the four dorks yelling at each other about anime.

We’re fighting the forces of the ‘rona to bring you the freshest, furriest anime Beastars. Imagine a world where both carnivore and herbivore alike can be awful high school theater kids.

Have you found a cartoon elf mom hot or not understood how pizza ordering works or wanted a daddy-brother or guessed at the length of a centaur’s “wizard staff”? Then we’ve got you freaks covered in this week’s episode on Pixar’s latest Onward.

In our opinion, nothing we say can prepare you for Netflix’s latest docuseries Tiger King. We’re currently obsessed with our imprisoned king Joe Exotic, and, after watching this documentary, you will be too. We dive into the wild saga of backwoods private zoos, missing husbands, Miami drug dealers, harems, murder-for-hire and dumb criminals. We guarantee you’ll never be the same, in our opinion.

We watched the latest entry in the Nicolas Cage-aissance The Color Out of Space in all its magenta, stinky, 360° no-look vegetable slam dunk glory.

We’re back in Gotham this week to cover Birds of Prey (and the Fanbtabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn). We’re talking about our deep seated fear of funhouses, celebrating Italian culture, misnaming detectives and mispronouncing “explosion.”

This week, Marisa discovers a new word for genitalia, Joey self-pities, José drops the dime on a dear friend and Mark declares us canceled. We’re diving deep into To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You. We’re also joined this week by guest extraordinaire and theme establisher Courtney Paige.  Stay tuned after to hear her new song “Wild” https://open.spotify.com/track/4KXZ3XCtQLFbEXWtfZ6Rnf?si=BEunGHhDS3ikiAjjUM1lrg

Ah, high school. Classes, drama, sports, fights in the parking lot, knife-wielding assassins, deciding who to eat lunch with or who to turn over to the administration and police for drug crimes. This week, we’re watching Brick. A scrappy teen detective takes on a crew of 311 fans, a mad drug pushing Tolkien enthusiast in a cape, Femme Fatales with curfews, incompetent ass vice-principals and Brad Bramish. But before you mash that download button, you better be sure you wanna know what you wanna know.

Marisa serenades us, Jose does his taxes, Mark forgives Rian Johnson and Joey gets a little too real, a little too raw. We watch Knives Out and lay out how this may be the best movie and director of all time.

HARK!! We call on Triton to bellow, bid our father the Sea King to rise from the depths full foul in his fury and chat with us about #TheLighthouse.

This week, Joey goes all in against preacher’s  kids, Marisa sexualises ANOTHER mage, Mark tells a harrowing Christian bullying story, and José schools us on Ancient Roman Military practices. That’s right folks, we’re covering the final two episodes of season one of The Witcher.

We’re talking THICC, Campbell’s Chunky socks, discussing Witchers notoriously short but effective resumes, Seagal-ing ruffian necks and we’re chatting about episodes five and six of the Witcher. We’ve got all the Frigglebert from Gobnob and Moosleploof of Xzezellpleck content your heart desires.

Lots to unpack in these two episodes of The Witcher. We’ve got timelines whipping around, surprising laws, Bad Boysing steak knives at fancy dinner murder fights, assassin bugs and their lazy knife mages, and confounding mispronunciations of basic words.

Grab your two swords, grab a few marks, kill a couple Polish folk monsters and join us as we cover the Netflix original The Witcher.