Curious Fox Podcast

Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What are some of the most common pitfalls when couples are opening up? Which conversations are essential when discussion non monoamy? What are some of the common myths when it comes to open relationships? And what about jealousy? Open relationships have a unique set of challenges and it’s often hard to know how to resolve them as open relationships have no specific roadmap. In this revisited episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore some of the common #PolyProblems that people face and share insights, tips, and personal stories for how folks have navigated through those challenges. Listen in as they explore common misconceptions that we have to unlearn in order to successfully practice non-monogamy for the long-term, as well as answers to some of the most asked questions.Support the showSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAr

In a world where discussions about sexuality often default to a heteronormative framework, what insights can we gain when we shift our focus to a queer perspective? How does queer sex challenge and expand our understanding of pleasure, consent, and sexual expression? What can individuals of all genders and orientations learn from queer sexuality?In this week’s episode, Effy welcomes back sex educator and author Allison Moon for a thought-provoking conversation where they explore the inherently pleasure-centric nature of queer sex and how this focus offers a broadened redefinition of sex and sexual expression. Effy and Allison dissect the limitations of traditional, heteronormative sex education and ponder the integration of queer sexual practices into the lives of straight individuals, contemplating how heteronormative couples might benefit from the queer emphasis on pleasure, consent, and open communication.To learn more about AllisonAllison Moon is the author of five books including the instant classic sex-

How can parents and caregivers create a safe and open environment where young individuals navigating their own identities feel comfortable exploring and expressing their evolving identities? What are the most common misconceptions or misunderstandings that parents and caregivers have about supporting queer, trans, and non-binary young people? How can they overcome these barriers to offer genuine support? What actionable steps can educators and community leaders take to ensure that queer, trans, and non-binary youth feel seen, heard, and validated in these spaces?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline invite sex educator and author Cory Silberbeg back on the show to discuss how to support young people in their quest to understand their identity, sexual orientation, and gender in today's political climate. They discuss the role of “trusted adults”, how to facilitate conversations and field questions in the home, and how to ensure a support network in and out of the home environment. More about Cory Silverber

In the intricate dance of relationships, what happens when our desires diverge from those of our partners? What common patterns emerge when partners want differently? And how can we skillfully bridge these gaps without losing ourselves in the process?In this episode, Effy invites Dr. Joli Hamilton back on the show for a candid conversation about the complexities of mismatched desires. Together, they dissect the root causes of these disparities, offer insights on managing them in both fledgling and established relationships and challenge prevailing myths that often cloud our understanding. Join them on this explorative journey, unraveling the nuances of desire and the art of harmonizing differences.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What relationship fears lurk in the shadows of our minds, sending chills down our spines? Can the art of storytelling serve as both an outlet for our deepest relationship anxieties and a means of processing them? Might the eerie embrace of Halloween be the unlikely balm to soothe these fears?In this special Halloween episode, Effy and Jacqueline delve into the anatomy of fear and go for a chilling foray into the Haunted House of relationship horrors once again. This time crafted with the brave contributions of our listeners, each chamber of this frightful abode captures a distinct relationship dread, reimagined. As we traverse this auditory maze, we're plunged into visceral scenarios that resonate all too deeply, creating a tapestry of fear, fascination, and shared human experience. An immersive treat that's equal parts spine-tingling and soul-touching—just in time for Halloween.Here’s a framework to come up with your own room:   What are you afraid of? being abandonedlosing myselfbeing trapped, etc

How deeply does our perception of safety influence our behavior in relationships? What internal shifts transpire within our nervous system when we oscillate between feelings of security and threat? And, how can we nurture an environment that fosters safety and wellbeing?In the third installment of our four-part series on trauma, we revisit a poignant episode where Effy and Jacqueline engage in an insightful discussion with Rida Kirasi, a sound healing therapist, meditation facilitator, and Somatic Experiencing practitioner. Together, they unravel the intricate tapestry of trauma healing, emphasizing the potent role of our bodily sensations and reactions. They delve into the transformative power of sound, breath, meditation, and embodiment practices as tools not only for healing but also for cultivating a robust sense of safety and emotional regulation.To find out more about Rida KirasiInstagram: @soundalatherapyWebsite: soundalatherapy.comSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriou

How might we challenge and expand upon the established medical definitions of trauma? Can our understanding of healing evolve to encompass not just the alleviation of symptoms but also the reclamation of joy and pleasure? What are the recent shifts in utilizing psychedelics as tools for trauma treatment?In this episode, Effy sits down with Dee Dee Goldpaugh, a psychotherapist, educator, author, activist, and the Clinical Director of Chrysalis Integrative Psychotherapy. Together, they embark on an in-depth exploration of the transformative potential of psychedelics in trauma therapy. Shedding light on prevailing medical models and their constraints, Effy and Dee Dee advocate for a more holistic approach, one that not only prioritizes the individual's wellbeing, reconnection to pleasure, joy and eroticism but also remains acutely aware of the broader social, cultural, and environmental implications of psychedelic use.To find out more about Dee Dee GoldpaughDee Dee (they/them/theirs) is a psychotherapist, e

How do we navigate the multifaceted nature of trauma beyond the often reductive parameters set by the medical system? How is memory formation and storage impacted by trauma and how does that impact the trauma experience? Can our journey towards healing be supported by those other than professionals?  In this episode, Effy talks with trauma researcher and author, Dr. MaryCatherine "MC" McDonald, whose book, "Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong And Other Things You Need to Know to Take Back Your Life," offers refreshing perspectives in understanding and addressing trauma. Dr. MC introduces a perspective that views trauma responses as indicators of strength and resilience, challenging commonly held beliefs around vulnerability and fragility. As Effy and Dr. MC explore the neurological mechanics of trauma, they also discuss healing methodologies that move beyond standard medical approaches, emphasizing the power of self-articulation and individual paths to recovery.To find out more ab

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline talk about some scary stories and beliefs they hold about relationships, share how these stories can manifest and how they can get in the way of connection and intimacy in their relationships. They reflect back on a previous Halloween episode where they approached these stories with creativity and humor and invite the listeners to try this approach. Recommended episodes:Ep 88 - Creative Take on Talking About Sex with Jennifer BemanEp 120 - Queer Pleasure, Storytelling, and Sexual Liberation with Dr. Jaime GrantEp 89 - Halloween Special: Haunted House of Relationships FearsBe a part of our Halloween episode! Listen to Episode 89: Haunted House of Relationships Fears, and then pick a fear that you have when it comes to love, sex or relationships and see if you can design your own scary haunted house room. Once you are done, get out your voice memo app on your phone and tell us all about it by sending it to listening@wearecuriousfoxes.com. Support the showConnect with us on I

What exactly is connection, and what happens when we encounter disconnection in our relationships? Is there any value in temporary disconnection? How can we improve our tolerance to disconnection?In this week's episode, Effy and Jacqueline delve deep into the intricate dynamics of connection and disconnection within relationships. Effy and Jacqueline unravel the multifaceted aspects of disconnection, shedding light on its causes and manifestations. They candidly explore the potential benefits that can arise from moments of disconnection, challenging the assumption that it's always detrimental and offer strategies and practical tools to enhance emotional resilience in the face of it.3 Tips to Combat Loneliness While Your Partner is Out30 Date Night Ideas That Will Transform Your Relationship(s)Etsy - Roots & WingsBe a part of our Halloween episode! Listen to Episode 89: Haunted House of Relationships Fears, and then pick a fear that you have when it comes to love, sex or relationships and see if

What impact does a significant age gap between partners have on relationships? Are there common misconceptions surrounding women dating considerably younger men? Does age alone determine affinity, and should we limit ourselves to dating within our age groupIn this episode, Effy engages in a candid conversation with author and ageism activist, Ashton Applewhite. Together, they explore the profound effects of ageism on our perceptions of larger age gaps in relationships. Effy shares her personal experience of dating a younger man, prompting reflection on whether conflicts arise due to the age gap itself or if it's merely attributed to the age gap due to the ageist narrative prevalent in our society.To find out more about Ashton ApplewhiteAn internationally recognized expert on ageism, Ashton Applewhite is the author of This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism. A co-founder of the Old School Anti-Ageism Clearinghouse, she speaks widely at venues that have included the TED mainstage and the United Nation

How often have you second-guessed a decision, wondering if the other option would have spared you the heartache? How do we navigate life's dilemmas when every path seems to have its own set of thorns? Can we ever truly escape the consequences of our choices, or is it about finding peace in the decisions we make?Effy and Jacqueline return from their break, diving deep into the often overlooked aspect of decision-making: the inevitable challenges that accompany every choice. They candidly share the less glamorous sides of their own decisions and offer insights on how to weigh your options more holistically…and accept that things may simply suck either way. Be a part of our Halloween episode! Listen to Episode 89: Haunted House of Relationships Fears, and then pick a fear that you have when it comes to love, sex or relationships and see if you can design your own scary haunted house room. Once you are done, get out your voice memo app on your phone and tell us all about it by sending it to listening@wearecu

Why do we react in ways that seem counterproductive or self-defeating? Are our minds made up of distinct "parts" that influence our behavior? How can we understand and integrate these internal parts to create personal growth and harmony?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore “parts work” and share their personal therapeutic journeys understanding, regulating, and befriending their parts. They discuss the benefits of developing "parts" from past experiences to help us navigate and respond to the world around us, and the consequences of using the outdated strategies of our parts to address current relationship fears. Referenced in the episode:Episode 115: Integrity, the Rider and the ElephantBook: The Body Keeps ScoreBe a part of our Halloween episode! Listen to Episode 89: Haunted House of Relationships Fears, and then pick a fear that you have when it comes to love, sex or relationships and see if you can design your own scary haunted house room. Once you are done, get out your voice

We are curious: How can we explore mismatched kinks with our partners? How do we find common ground and understand where the resistance is without creating pressure or being coercive? And what can be done if there's no common ground? In this episode, Effy enlists the expertise of a seasoned pro Dom, kink educator and a longtime foxy friend of the show Miss Shayla. Together, they embark on a candid conversation, delving into the intricacies of navigating mismatched kinks with partners. Effy and Miss Shayla offer valuable insights and strategies for approaching partners about kinky desires with respect, sensitivity, and consent. They unpack the complexities of finding common ground and explore alternatives when a shared playground for partners seems elusive.Links mentioned in the episode12 Step program fear inventory and resentment inventoryEnough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation WorkbookTo learn more about Miss ShaylaMistress Shayla Lange is an NYC based Pro-Domme, co-creator of the kinky e

What does it mean to be a highly sensitive person (HSP)? How does high sensitivity differ between individuals socialized as men versus women? What are the unique advantages and obstacles faced by highly sensitive men in their relationships and daily lives? In this episode, Effy and cognitive behavioral psychotherapist and author of "The Highly Sensitive Man" Tom Falkenstein take a deep dive into the core characteristics of high sensitivity and examine how societal expectations and gender norms shape the experience of sensitivity for men. Tom and Effy aim to shed light on the distinct challenges and advantages that highly sensitive men encounter in their relationships and everyday lives and provide practical tools and strategies to empower highly sensitive people to thrive in an overstimulating modern world.To learn more about TomTom Falkenstein has worked as a cognitive behavioural psychotherapist since 2006. After obtaining his degree in psychology in the UK, he completed his postgraduate training

What happens when you discover your sexual orientation later in life? How can you embrace a new identity when you have already established one? What does it mean to be queer?In this revisited oldie, Jacqueline goes galavanting through the NY lesbian bar scene for her birthday with her partner, making up for some classic lesbian experiences that she never got to have. Effy and Jacqueline celebrate Pride month by exploring experiences of coming out later in life, discuss what it means to be queer, and explore the nuance of why they identify the way they do. Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

How can wedding ceremonies be updated to honor queer and polyamorous relationships? What can we do to celebrate a relationship when marriage and a wedding is not an option? What would it be like to celebrate an uncoupling, or the end of a relationship?Just in time for wedding season, Effy and Jacqueline revisit their conversation with queer wedding planner Ambyr D'Amato to challenge the idea that only certain types of relationships deserve to be celebrated with a ceremony. They discuss ways to honor all relationships and all of the phases of a relationship, including relationships that come to an end. To find out more about AmbyrAmbyr is a queer, intersectional feminist woman and a wedding planner. She wants the weddings she works on to be inclusive and joyful and welcomes all types of people especially LGBTQ+, multi-relationship, and multicultural families.Ambyr’s mission is to create a meaningful time for her clients on their special day and throughout their wedding planning process. Ambry approaches h

What exactly is a "hookup"? How can we create hot, healthy, shame free hookups? Is there such a thing as good etiquette for casual sex?In this week’s episode, Effy is joined by sex educator and author Allison Moon to discuss casual sex. They discuss hookup culture and how we can and should “be excellent to each other” as members of a sexual community. Effy and Allison consider how our approach to casual sex partners can be a reflection of our humanity and what we can do as “sexual citizens” to reform hookup culture.To learn more about AllisonAllison Moon is the author of five books including the instant classic sex-ed guide Girl Sex 101 and Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex. She has been quoted in Cosmopolitan, New York magazine, and The Washington Post. A popular sex educator, Allison has presented her workshops — on strap-on sex, polyamory, sexual self-expression, erotica writing, and more — to thousands of people around the US and Canada. Inspired by her sex education

Why is it that when we feel comfy and settled, we suddenly long for passion and freedom? And conversely, why do a string of spontaneous adventures have us longing for stability? Is it possible for us to be both planted and to fly?Jacqueline revisits a conversation with Effy about how to balance the comfort of being rooted and settled with the desire for variety and passion. They share their tips for how to assess what you are craving and figure out how to deal with the discomfort and fill the gaps.Book: Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual NonmonogamyYou can find the Fuel Gauge Activity worksheet mentioned in this episode here.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes