Dr. Judy Wtf

At a time where we have to isolate, I challenge everyone to connect through kind words and deeds. Sometime we need to take the time to regroup and heal as we globally go into our isolationism. We can use this as a time for self reflection, self correction, and emotional connection to others. Emotional connection is available even when we can not physically be near each other. Please understand that everyone is on edge and the amygdala or the emotional brain is working overtime. Now would be the time to extend extra words of kindness and deeds to others. Stay well and stay safe and please reach out to the Psychological Healing Center.

Not everyone who is passive aggressive is narcissistic. The passive aggressive behavior can be a defense mechanism or it could be a way to demean, devalue, and destroy other people. It can make them feel gas lite and crazy, empowering over them behind their back. Silent treatment is a common of being passive aggressive. These people lack communication skills and do not know how to resolve conflict. This shame based personality type will resort to covert means to gain power and control at the expense of others.

People who are most vulnerable to Ponzi schemes and other rip off schemes are people who have been validate in early life. Rather than protecting children, some families use their own children to fulfill their needs. They may even use their children to help build a corporate business and even use their college funds to bail them out of jail as in the case of "Robert", our call in guest. These boundary violations groom people to feel that these violations are not only OK but will get them the psychological validation/approval they so crave. By presenting these scheming deals as opportunities to make big money the web of deception is setup; being invited into the web then seems like a invitation to be part of a special opportunity and indeed the opportunity is very special. Especially destructive.

Overt narcissism is much more obvious. There is an air of flamboyance. A way of being in the world were they grandiose themselves and act as if they are better than everyone else even if this is unearned. Narcissistic defense seemingly protect against childhood wounds, ultimately leaving family and friendships destroys. Most people suffering from this disorder will not seek treatment because they do not want to go there because they do not want to go into their wounds of childhood which they ave so carefully covered up. They defense of entitlement is actually a defense feeling shameful and worthless.

The covert narcissistic is in some sense more dangerous because you do not seem them coming. They act as if they care, they act as if they are committed, they act as if they love you, but they have been so injured that they have been left apathetic. As they age they may act out or may also act out by replacing their significant other and toss them aside in exchange for a better supply. The "better" might be more beautiful, richer, more gullible, and more relatable. They don't tend to stick around people that expose their fake self.

Fragile parents create pressure on a child to hold them up and compensate for their weakness. Whether the fragility steams from mental or physical health issues; the child is often time parentified and expected to over function in the family. This kind of pressure leaves the child feeling isolated, anxies, and social rejected. They may not even be aware that their parental dysfunction is the cause of the distress because they might just think this is normal for the family. When parents lean to hard on the child, the child will eventually fall apart. It is important for children and eventually adults to understand that their role is not to be the adult to their parents. Psychological clarity and good boundaries go a long way in restructuring the relationship gone wrong.

Building a sense of self after narcissistic abuse requires that you identify your childhood wounds, dismantlement their effects on you and re-code into health. The messages your parents left you with diminish your sense of self, leaving you at the effect of life. What ideally should have happened, is proper attainment and mirroring and support of yourself. What happens in narcissistic abusive families, is that the emerging self is hijacked in order to serve the needs of the parents robbing you of proper development. Sometimes you have to severe the ties with people who don't support you.

When a child comes from a family where the parents are not able to take on the parental role, the burden falls on the child's' shoulders. The saddest aspect of a child gone wrong is their childhood is lost. This kind of stress can wreak emotional havoc and also create mood disorders such as: depression, anxiety, and abusive compulsive disorder or OCD. It is important to catch these patterns so you do not repeat them in your choice of relationships and you do not continue to bleed out. Today we shrunk the Tune Fix You by Coldplay.

It might be tempting to rescue another person, but what happens to that person who gets strong and is no longer needy. Are you still going to be supportive of him or her, or will you be threatened that you are losing control and being taken off the pedestal. Knights in shining in armor are attractive to damsel in distress and vice versa. At first the story is off to a good start but later the story unravels and the knight in shinning armor gets kicked off the horse, and the damsel in distress might step on him because she is sick and tired of being controlled.

Why Do We Chase After People Who Don't Seem To Care About Our Well Being. When we have been raised by apathetic parents, we have more of a tendency to chase after people who are also apathetic in order to convert them to empathetic people who will reverse the damages of our childhood. Rarely if ever does this horrible system work. One we do our inner work and heal our own hole in the soul we don't need to engage with our herders by setting boundaries and calling out the truth of their game of demeaning, devaluing and destroying for their own gain. We ensure that we can bust the system gone wrong and play a better and healthier game of life.