Kate Hastings Show

Struggle to see how anyone would want to help you?  Ask yourself these 3 questions:      • While you were growing up what kind of messages did you get about asking for help? • Did your family place more value on “doing it yourself” or “letting others in?” • When you did attempt to reach out in childhood, how did the people in your life respond?   @coachkate1

Remember that you are afraid of the response and emotion that the word no will conjure up in you, not the word itself. Saying yes when you want to say no comes at a price: You burn out, you experience anxiety, and you devalue yourself. You have relationships that are toxic and you become resentful. You disrespect yourself and allow added stress to play the victim to not focus on you and your life.  Remember that you don't have to respond right away.  You can say: I need to check my calander ill get back to you tommorw.  What is the impact of being a people pleaser?

Anxiety can manifest itself in various ways when it comes to relationships. Fear of being left behind or not asking for things could be signs of anxiety in a relationship.   It can control your thoughts and affect many aspects of your life. Anxiety crumbles your authentic voice, causing panic and lack of self-confidence. Do you ever ? Wondering if you matter? Wait for something to go wrong? Look for reasons to break up? Constantly thinking your partner wants to break up?  Missing out on good times?   @coachkate1 Phenyx.fit

Whenever something good happens, something bad follows. Living with the expectation that sh*t will eventually hit the fan makes it difficult to acknowledge and accept when life is actually going good. It's difficult to celebrate your success when you feel unworthy of your achievement.You are deserving of good things. You weren’t put on this Earth to live “well enough,” you are meant to live an abundant, beautiful life.   @coachkate1

I don't think we ever ask ourselves, "Are we living our truth?" or "What does that even mean?" Instead, I think we grow up to conform to the truths surrounding us, which may or may not be aligned, but I believe that no one except you can determine that meaning. Before you can live and express your truth, I believe you must first confront the extent to which you tell yourself lies. Ask yourself how much debt you have in your life? What's the impact of living this way? Is my environment and life consistent with my morals, values, and beliefs? Listen in! IG: @coachkate1 Website: Phenyx.fit 

Living in a perpetual state of survival is detrimental to our health, relationships, goals, and overall quality of life. Stress is a warning sign; it prepares us to survive, whether by running or fighting the threat. However, it is not a condition in which one may prosper or live life with peace.  You settle for a lot less because you're frightened actually to put yourself out there. So you isolate and keep people at a distance. You avoid, overcompensate, judge, fear, flee, and hide. Survival emotions and behaviors are hard-wired into our brains and nervous systems. The choices we make, our actions, and our perceptions are all influenced by the dysregulated emotions we are experiencing at any given moment.     @coachkate1 

When you're doing the work, but it's still difficult. We refuse to heal because we do not want to endure the unbearable pain of uncovering buried feelings, fears, and memories. You are unstoppable once you have fully immersed yourself in your truth. To avoid pain or discomfort, we typically control aspects of ourselves and our lives. Pain is unpleasant, so we do this to alleviate it. But we also do this because we are worried that we are not deserving of something greater.   IG: @Coachkate1 @phenyxfit   

Tolerating the intolerable drains you spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Have you ever been in an obviously terrible situation and felt nothing at all? Do you suffer from a lack of emotional detachment from yourself and others, resulting from your inability to feel?  A few bullets I touch upon in this episode. 1.) Recognizing your childhood mantra...  "Get a grip," "suck it up," and "mind over matter," "You're fine," it's not that bad." 2.) What are you tolerating and why? (truth) 3.) What are the feelings you are unwilling or afraid to feel? @coachkate1 @phenyxfit 

Have you ever thought to yourself, “How did I get here?” Why do the same friends, relationships, and events keep repeating? Almost everyone at one point in life has chosen to overlook red flags. We’ve suppressed our inner voice, which begged us to break up with that friend, don’t marry that person, and leave that toxic job. You are not weak or stupid, but human. Trial and error will be a part of the healing process; we won’t get everything right the first time. However, we can learn from our experiences and make better choices in the future. Everything isn’t a red flag, but if you grew up in an environment where boundaries were not respected, chaos was the norm, and toxic behavior was tolerated, you might not see anything wrong. We disregard red flags because we are terrified of expressing the truth to not be alone. So instead of facing the agony of confrontation, we engage in denial and continue about our business as usual. But, on the other hand, what is more lonely than being with someone who makes you fee

I speak from my personal experiences and can say I have a Ph.D. in this topic.  By becoming aware of the patterns in your relationships, you can see what exactly you are attracted to. You cannot control what you’re not aware of. However, you can develop awareness and create new patterns. Why do you keep choosing the same toxic relationships over and over again? If you’ve been abused in previous relationships (or in childhood), you may have a hard time labeling abuse as abuse because you’ve grown accustomed to it and have learned to blame yourself for it. People stay in unhealthy relationships because they get accustomed to pain. The fear of uncertainty is what seems normal. They believe that if they stick it out, things might change. With a false sense of hope and desperation, denial will keep you in a state of one day someday. (aka waste years of your life) lol   If you have low self-esteem or are codependent, you may be unaware of your feelings, guiding you.   Toxic attachment is hard to escape the cycle of

Abusive/toxic relationships makes you distrustful of others and yourself. You become sidetracked by how long you put up with a terrible relationship and environment. So guilt and humiliation rule your existence. You believe all men are bad. This kind of nice treatment is love bombing and manipulation, it can’t be real. You expect guys to leave without closure or to diminish your self-worth. But every day, the good guy shows he's the same guy. Someone has told you that you don't deserve the best. So you reject it. You don't want to be humiliated again, so you destroy the good. You're expecting a battle. Instead, everything is explained and discussed in a calm manner. Then comes a feeling of calm, and you understand that ordinary people don't retreat and destroy when anything goes wrong. He'll wonder why you apologize so often and for what. He'll notice the hurt from someone who made you doubt yourself in the past. I know someone taught you tough love, in the past. You've had to suffer a lot of things you didn'

If you're depressed, anxious, fatigued, or have an autoimmune disease, these are the things you should look into before medication. One of the first recommendations when dealing with depression, anxiety, fatigue, or an autoimmune disease is medication. It took over ten years to develop the information I'm about to share. This is what I did to heal myself without medication through alternative medicine, therapy, food, supplements, personal development, and exercise. Listen in as I dissect all of the options and alternatives for self-healing.

A traumatic experience impacts your perception of your life and yourself, resulting in psychological trauma. People with PTSD are continuously scared of their bodies, and they've honed their skills at ignoring gut instincts and numbing awareness of what's going on inside. By precisely placing long-acting local anesthetic (ropivacaine) around the stellate ganglion, the unproductive and chronic “fight or flight” response is turned off for several hours. This allows neurotransmitters in the brain to “reset” back to a non-anxiety state. This “resetting” results in long-term relief of anxiety symptoms. The SGB may improve daily activities, sleep, relationships, mood, employment and more. SGB works to reset the fight or flight system in the body to help restore function. People suffering from elevated fight or flight responses, like in PTSD, will benefit from a SGB treatment on the nerves involved in mediating these responses. Specifically, this treatments resets the brain to baseline or pre-traumatic levels.    IG

Why attachment? There are many ways to be attached to things in life, like having attachments to people, emotions, jobs, image, food, and so on. Attachment typically stems from a fear of losing control. Can you make friends with the unknown and accept things as they come your way?  What would happen if you lost that attachment?  What fears might come true?  What would be available in my life if I let go of that attachment ? We suffer when we put our happiness dependent on others, money, success, things, or circumstances. Attachments clings. We abandon our freedom and react emotionally to get what we want and reject what we don't.  Imagine being free of attachments?     IG: Coachkate1 

The primary reason why individuals fail to achieve their goals is because they cannot identify a strong correlation between the desired outcome and the actual actions needed to achieve it.   Outcome goals are the end results you want to accomplish, while process goals are the stages you'll need to take to get there. The outcomes goals are not always entirely predictable. The most usual issue individuals fail to achieve their goals is because they are unable to link the desired outcome to the required process. Do you focus solely on outcome?  Or do you try to find methods to improve the process in order to get better results?  

Affirmations are useful but not always effective. Positive affirmations could even do more harm than good. I’ll explain my point of view.    People have a hard time believing things that they know aren't true. Bold statements will almost certainly be met with resistance, and they may even backfire, resulting in a stronger defense of one's original viewpoint.   Positive affirmations do not work because they are directed at the conscious level of your mind rather than the unconscious level of your mind...    The unconscious mind is the archive for all of our memories and past experiences. And everything we are aware of at any given moment is in our conscious mind.   Every time you tell yourself something that sounds positive, your unconscious will repeat to you, "That's not true, that's not true!"  This creates mental and physical tension…It's similar to when someone compliments you, you cringe, too.    So instead give this a try!    “What if?” question generates no previous precedent, paradigm, or example, and

You've probably heard that the most important relationship you have is with yourself. However, how frequently do you hear of people who are working towards that goal?  We are born into this world and advised to find a life partner, but we are never taught or shown how to develop a relationship with ourselves.   Treat yourself, eat some cake, get your nails done, take a bath, and love yourself….That isn't love.   Recognizing, overcoming, facing, and grieving those aspects of yourself that no longer serves you starts there.    It's about living & following your deepest values and doing things that important to you while still making a difference in the world.    It's how you feel and act toward yourself, as well as the things you  say on a regular basis.  When you need it the most, it's being compassionate, patient, and kind to yourself…..    Have you ever wondered why it's easier to deflect compliments than it is to embrace them?   Tune into this weeks episode! @coachkate1

Why do we destroy the very things we want in life ? Why do we want love yet take all the wrong actions towards fulfilling that desire ?  What if the things you struggle to acknowledge in others you lack within yourself?  What if every failed relationship is just a reflection of the relationship with yourself?    @coachkate1 

Just  like our physical health, everyone has mental health. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand, I believe that having one without the other and the meaning we assign to it is where I see the disconnect.  Physical health is the state and functioning of your entire body, and mental health is the state of your emotions, mind and over all daily feelings. ‘Mental health’ and ‘mental illnesses are being used as if they mean the same thing, but they are not. Mental illness can be classified as things like depression, anxiety, bi-polar, eating disorders etc. Our mental health boils down to our ability to solve problems, overcome difficulties, make meaningful connections, regulate/understand our emotions, thoughts and feelings. “Great” mental health isn’t about feeling pumped every day and super confident 100% of the time, it’s a daily watering of your highest self. It’s about  learning how to be compassionate and understanding yourself while developing the habits, systems and copping skills that work t