Empire Of The Senseless

‘My mom wanted a Porsche, so she named me James Dean instead. She never got what she wanted. Instead she got me. She looks over my head, straight past my tiny frame. “Jenny! Get your lazy ass out of bed”             “I’m right here! Mami look! See me! Look at me go. I’m all grown up and I found the way to my voice. Mum, I can here everything, I speak every language; I am every man. My name is not Jenny!” I’m pulling on her stupid skirt. It’s new. It’s black. Silk. I want to lay my sleepy head in her lap when the fear takes over. But she never lets me close. Never lets my voice be spoken aloud. Never calls. Texts me back every three months or so, just to make sure I haven’t stopped begging. But secretly she wants nothing to do me. Well, that’s not entirely true. It’s hardly a secret. I tell myself it is, in secret, to reassure my heart that it is not hanging on like an idiot to a love that can never be returned like it was dreamed. In the perfect world, I tell her gently, where mommies aren’t stuck in cages an