Buddha At The Gas Pump

I simply awoke. I suffered for more than 20 years with depression, fear, guilt, anger, judgment, confusion, a lack of connection and dis-ease. I lost friends and three lovers over 9 years to AIDS and then was diagnosed with cancer and AIDS in 2003 and thought that I was going to die. But upon introspection I realized that I was more than my thoughts because I was being aware of my thoughts. I realized also that I was more than birth and death. With this realization, all fears of being were absolved and a peace enveloped me that revealed that all is in divine order. I went through “the dark night of the soul”. And as layer upon layer of who I thought I was dissolved, I slowly became more and more self-aware. At one moment I remembered that I am more than any created form and so ultimately they have no true effect on me. Now I am here grateful to utilize the gifts of this body to express the one love from which all flowers. Life is not about something else or something other, it is what is happening now. An