Martini Shot

When I tell people that I write television comedy -- actually, that's a bit of a lie: I never tell people what I do for a living, if I can help it.  When people ask -- on a plane, or in some kind of casual never-going-to-see-the-person-again situation -- I almost always say, "I'm a merchant banker," which leads to precisely zero follow-up questions.  I mean, when you tell someone you're a merchant banker, they don't then ask, "Oh, have you worked on any private equity deals I might have heard of?" And they don't say, "You know what's wrong with the capital markets?  Let me tell you... " and they especially don't ever say, "You know what would be a great private equity deal?  My life!  Seriously!  You should come to my office and meet my co-workers and then do a private equity round of early-investment financing with them!"...