Building A Better Dave

I was very surprised when I went to the mall and saw there was no line to sit with Santa. Santa looked pretty good (probably an out of work financial consultant), and I thought "Let's get our picture taken." It would be interesting to see how things have changed since you sat on his lap and had a polaroid taken. We asked, not the elf, but some college kid (or Santa has put into place "business casual" as the new dress code). We were told, "Here are the packages." Packages? I just need a picture. What a lovely greedy con job that if they wanted to they could make $166 an hour, BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH. Before we can make $166 an hour ($9.73 profit on a 5 minute CD) you need to spend $20 on a "Package." That means Santa Will be making $357 an hour. Well here is what I say to you. SCREW YOU SANTA! SCREW YOU AND THE REINDEER YOU FLEW IN ON!