Idle Thumbs

You sit down, strap yourself in, and wait for the feels. You turn a knob until the bass integrated into the back of the seat starts to thrum and buzz. "Ah, I can feel that for sure," you say aloud to no one. Your mouth turns down at the side, half a frown, as you look through your options. The hosts said they recorded this a while ago, but you think they might have been too kind. On the screen: A collection of lost games for an 8-bit console. A new video game system called the "Xbox One X." A... new... 2D Sonic the Hedgehog. Suddenly the thrum is not just in your back, but everywhere. The hum unbearable, you swat at your gamer harness, but the five point lock holds you strong. The hum is everything, everywhere. "What year is this?!" you scream out into the night street, before it all goes black. Discussed: UFO 50, Tacoma, Steve Gaynor's stupid websites, Xbox One X, Xbox One X box (1), Subsurface Circular, StarCraft Remastered, buying a house with the money you saved by not buying avocados and instead saving