You Had Me at Bigfoot

On this episode, back door-dreaming nightmare merchant, Tom, and ancient Egyptian lucid dream interpreter, V, discuss the meaning of dreams and how to suppress them with prescription medication. Tom deciphers the prehistoric braille inscriptions on Tulsi Gabbard’s raw meat face and V sings a ballad to pacify the sleep paralysis demon in his room.

This episode was originally recorded in October of 2019, but V’s audio was not recorded, nor could it be recovered. In an effort to release the episode anyway, a special guest stepped in to take his place: the ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage. In this episode, cannibalistic mad lib enthusiast, Tom, and Santa letter-writing […]

In this episode, giant hairy Canadian beaver, Tom, and black summoning of death/sempiternal winter funeral, V, are joined by beer fart, Mattsquatch, as they summarize, in five minutes, everything you need to know about the chupacabra. Tom bedazzles his uniform pants, V tries his hand at hentai casting couch direction, and Mattsquatch questions the cultural […]

On this episode, Old Testament prophet of the Northern Kingdom, Tom, and 14 time Emmy award-winning television producer, V, are joined by Democratic minority leader of the Senate, Yakov Alive as they discuss the reasoning behind some of the more well-known Jewish conspiracies. Tom pledges his allegiance to Big Brother, V sets up a new […]

On this episode, 1950’s African AIDS monkey butcher, Tom, and begrudging $300 hand job-giver, V, discuss the current coronavirus pandemic and the impact it has had on the red light district in Germany. Tom denies banging furry patient zero and V laps up a bowl of bat soup, fangs first.

On this episode, shitty alternate reality version of himself, Tom, and late night infomercial fortune teller, V, discuss the various theories regarding deja vu. Tom rips a hole in the fabric of time and space by pulling his penis out during an instance of deja vu and V curses God for not delivering his mutant […]

On this episode, blood, semen, breast milk and urine donor, Tom, and tobacco spit mason jar preserver, V, are joined by spirit cooking mixologist, Jerry from FOJ Live, as they discuss the failed campaign chair of the Hillary Clinton 2016 presidential campaign, John Podesta, and why he’s a disgusting human being from any objective standpoint. […]

On this episode, woodland man-deer-tree cryptid, Tom, and infiltrator of the Skywalker Ranch, V, are joined by concert skin flautist, Yakov Alive as they discuss the Navajo taboo topic of the Skinwalker and how it could just be a big, fat government conspiracy. Tom snaps the infinity condom, V is captured masturbating on grainy trail […]

On this episode, glitching shapeshifter, Tom, and wax animatronic, V, consider the various theories and origins of reptilians. Tom straddles the fence of belief for the first time, and V goes all the way with a hot alien babe. Join the boys as they recklessly accuse every celebrity and politician of being a slimy lizard […]

On this episode, cowardly Broward County Sheriff’s Deputy, Tom, and over-the-top crisis actor, V, discuss the real life dangers of the United States’ favorite alphabet agency, the Central Intelligence Agency, and their darkest project that we know of: MKULTRA. Tom shoots himself in the foot with the heart attack gun and V shacks up with […]

On this episode, fan of the Hellboy reboot, Tom, and fan of the original Hellboy, V, are joined by the guy who summons real Hellboys, Dave Outlandish, for his lecture entitled “A Non-Mystical Methodology for Modeling the Paranormal Experience.” Tom exposes his tiny vocabulary, V penetrates some spheres, and Dave sets out on a mission […]

On this special Halloween episode, falsely accused child murderer and dream demon, Tom, lousy swimmer and hockey mask aficionado, Mattsquatch, and criminal possessing the body of a doll, V, tell their favorite ghost stories from the years they spent investigating the paranormal. Tom competes in a race against blood alcohol content, Mattsquatch has an existential […]

On this episode, Tom and Ryan, victims of the Clinton Body Count (numbers 23 and 48 respectively), are left high and dry by all other members of the team to talk about an issue that will inevitably result in their suicide by two gunshot wounds to the back of the head: The Deep State. Tom […]

In this episode, bird watching pervert, Tom, and the volunteer neighborhood watch official who catches him peeping, Ryan, are joined by the naked lady being spied on through the second story window, Mattsquatch, who explains what the dogman is and how big his theoretical penis could be. Tom shares the story of how he hoaxed […]

In this episode, county coroner, Tom, unlicensed medical examiner, Dustin, and the re-animated body of a John Doe homeless man, Mattsquatch, explain the proper way to please your deceased boyfriend. Mattsquatch is reincarnated as a Bavarian king, Tom ejaculates post-mortem, and Dustin makes a pass at a liquified corpse.

In this episode, planet-conquering warlord, Tom, is joined by OT Level 40 Scientologist, V, and the warden of the prison housing Xenu, Mattsquatch, as they discuss the proper way to court a ghost and go all the way on the first date. All three are added to the Spectral Offender Registry and contract venereal disease […]

In this episode, conqueror of The Further, Tom, and spirit realm voyeur, Dustin, discuss all the ethically questionable things your disembodied spirit can do while separated from your body. Tom rants about Stephen King for the 47th time, and Dustin describes how far he’s willing to go with his own clone. His answer may surprise […]

In this episode, Republican Senator from Arizona, Tom, and former Democrat Speaker of the House, Fetusberry Crunch, are joined by Green Party Presidential Candidate, Ryan, to talk about the conspiracy surrounding the supposed death of Jeffrey Epstein. This fictional political quorum comes together to shed light on the controversy and bash beloved television programs like […]

In this packed house episode, fattest heavyweight champion of the world, Tom, and donkey show promotor, Dustin, are joined, as always, by skinny jeans wearer, Jim, and the only man to ever see Bigfoot with an erection, Mattsquatch, to talk about how to summon a demon. No show about summoning demons would be complete without […]

In this episode, Chinese businessman, Tom, is joined by South African politician, Jim, to talk about the creepypasta that’s taking the internet by storm: Momo. While Australian bushmaster, Dustin, is on vacation with his family, the team is joined by lead singer of Autumn Reverie, and creepypasta researcher, Jake. Jamus tries calling Momo and even […]