Uniquely Brilliant Podcast

Becky and Diana discuss the voices we carry with us and provide ideas to make sure they are the best ones for us.  We get to choose whose voice we listen to. Sometimes we can decide to just take a nugget of wisdom from one of the voices. We also accumulate voices when we read Where we are in life is a great barometer for choosing whose voice we decide to listen to. Words like “The One,” “The Best,” and “The Only” are clues that the voice speaking to us may not really be for us, and that’s okay. Often when we take on the wrong voices, we start feeling wrong. Our role models are excellent sources for finding good voices to listen to. Taking in every voice you hear can become an overwhelming burden. Replace the negative voices with positive ones.

Becky Berry and Diana Bader discuss the value of evolving as a person instead of continually reinventing ourselves.  Our podcast is a great example of evolution. We haven’t re-invented it; it has evolved. Reinvention - The action or process through which something is changed so much it appears to be entirely new. Reinvention implies something is wrong and needs to be scrapped and started over from scratch. Evolution - Gradual development of something from simple to complex. Evolution encourages adaptation and appreciating where you are. We all have life lessons and skills that have made us more of who we are. Every experience that has gotten us here has also helped us become richer and more interesting people. Some people seem to evolve independently of their circumstances. Others need models.

Becky and Diana challenge us to adopt a new perspective and look at the Calendar differently. It is easy to get stuck in a “Lack” mindset with time when we are following an arbitrary calendar that doesn’t match our time needs. Time flows if we allow it. Our life calendars don't run from January through December, so we can reorganize the calendar in a way that suits us. Time on our calendars isn’t real until we act on it. Working with our own natural rhythms helps our lives run smoother. Every day is a new day! It's hard to value time that we didn't create or organize. Age is an arbitrary number. We don't have to buy into cultural restrictions about certain ages are perceived. Your mindset determines your mental age, not the calendar!

Becky and Diana discuss the things we do that lead us to taking on too much.  The need for control is one of the biggest factors in taking on too much. When we push ourselves too hard it can take longer to achieve what we set out to do. A key to avoiding taking on too much is to find more time. We have more control over our time than we think we do. Make time work for you, not the other way around. The sense of overwhelm can be attributed to confining ourselves to arbitrary time frames, like the end of our year occurring in December. Ask yourself, “What is most important?” and then do it. We get to decide what stays and what goes in our life. Often we take on too much to avoid what we need to do. Some things don’t need to be dealt with, they simply need to be let go.

Becky and Diana analyze the nature of grounding and feeling grounded.  Being ungrounded can feel like flying without a place to land. We can’t fly forever. It is important to have both a launching point and a landing point. Grounded is the only state we can both pause and launch from. Grounding gives us a sense of belonging and ownership of our space. If you know who you are, and trust yourself, you are grounded. When we are internally grounded we can take the feeling with us. When we find people in our world who accept us as we are they serve as a grounding force. If we trust our physical environment then it is a grounding space. To help us get grounded: Spend time in nature. Meditate. Shut off the internal dialog. Connect with water or the actual ground.

Becky and Diana talk about who and what we trust, or maybe need to learn to trust. The Process: If we aren’t ready for the process, it’s really hard to embrace it. Ourselves: When we are comfortable with something it is easier to trust it. Developing our skills improves our ability to trust ourselves. Our Guts: When we learn to trust our gut instincts it becomes easier to fend off those shoulds and fears. It makes it easier to act on our own instincts. Others: Everyone seems to have an opinion about our lives. It is important to cultivate people who want the best for us. Universe: The heart of trusting the Universe is staying open to what’s out there so we can get out of our own way. We can only trust The Process and The Universe when we trust ourselves.  

Becky and Diana identify things that hold us back and provide solutions to beat them back!  Fear is at the core of much of what holds us back. Future-casting is worrying about what could happen and projecting our fear into the future in a way that keeps us from moving forward. When we are not willing to share our concerns and thoughts with others, we may be afraid of hearing other perspectives. We have to get the nonproductive stuff out of our heads. We often have expectations, or take on those of other people, that hold us back. Sometimes we surround ourselves with the wrong people and end up with the wrong voices in our heads. Not knowing what we want can keep us stuck where we are. When something is holding you back, ask yourself, “Is this real?” “Is it true?” Whose time are you living on?  

Becky and Diana talk about how pivoting has helped them in their entrepreneurial journeys and their lives, and how it can help you.  Pivoting represents a course evolution. It’s not necessarily a huge correction; it’s more of a tweak. Shifts can happen before we realize it. There is always a reason things pivot. When we resist the pivot, we get stuck and can fail. A Pivot Point is the foundational piece that a pivot moves around. Knowing who we are helps us become the pivot point in our own lives. In order to pivot successfully, we must be receptive, adaptable, flexible, and aware. When we don’t have a strong pivot point, we bounce around haphazardly. We are sold a bill of goods that life is linear. There are no straight lines in nature. Pivots happen.  

Becky and Diana share things that no one ever told them. No one ever told us: Diana - I could reject a job offer that didn’t feel like the right fit. Becky - Not everyone is going to get you, and that’s okay! Diana - I didn’t have to be part of only one core group. Becky - Not everyone is an extrovert, and introverts bring so much to the table! Diana – It’s just as easy to believe things are working in our favor as it is to believe they are not. Becky – We can take what we like and leave the rest.  

Becky and Diana explore the idea that our thoughts create our reality.  Our brains automatically search for memories that validate our thoughts. We have to train our brains to focus on what we really want. The Reticular Activating System in our brain picks and chooses what we notice. Leaders who use fear and propaganda have all used attention getting techniques like identifying people as “other” to influence how citizens think about what’s happening around them. The energy we put behind a thought helps manifest the thought. When we settle for what we don’t want, there is no room for what we do want. When we decide not to settle, the world opens up to show us the possibilities. Our verbal and body language convey what we are really thinking. We can shift our energy by creating energy transition rituals using sensory association (listening to favorite music, drinking a favorite beverage, wearing our favorite clothes, etc.) before we enter situations where we need to present our best selves. We need to embrace

Becky and Diana discuss the importance of acknowledging and owning our wins.  Somewhere in the growing-up process we are taught that boasting and being proud of ourselves is the same thing. It’s not! It’s critical to both recognize a compliment and give it value. If we don’t own our wins we stay stuck where we are, particularly at work. The negative conversations in our heads block out the compliments. Creating Win Jars gives us a place to capture our wins so we can revisit them when we need encouragement. Also, creating a fan mail file containing all the emails, notes, compliments we’ve received gives us another place to reacquaint ourselves with our wins. When we receive compliments, they are the truth. The negative voices in our heads that create self-doubt are the lies. We must create a habit of positive response to compliments, so that we internalize our successes. When we are aware of our wins, we will experience more of them!  

Becky and Diana continue to explore David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done, this time focusing on planning a project.  Project - An outcome that requires more than one step. 90% of the work we do each day should be the next step of a project. We tend to react to our day instead of planning it out. Establishing a purpose for a project drives it and keeps it going. “People love to win. If you’re not totally clear about the purpose of what you’re doing, you have no game to win.” – David Allen In order for a multi-person project to work, everyone needs to agree on the vision (the intended outcome). A strong vision gives us an idea of what our completed project will look like. Brainstorming allows us to generate many ideas to work from. When we capture our brainstorming, we have even more ideas. Organize only to the detail that you need to. Plans are not always linear. Reviewing the plan is a key piece of planning.    

Becky and Diana explore concepts from David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done.  In Getting Things Done, David Allen describes a 5 step process to master productivity. The steps: Capture, Clarify, Organize, Reflect, and Engage. Capture: Get every idea, task, and to-do item out of your head and put it somewhere. Whether you use an app, a whiteboard, a notebook, or something else, find a place you trust to store your ideas. Developing this habit prevents the cognitive load of incompletions (Roy Baumeister).   Clarify: Process the ideas. Ask “Is this important to me now?” Ask “Does it add value?” Use the 2 minute rule. If it only takes 2 minutes to deal the item, do it immediately.   Organize: Where does this belong? Give ideas and projects a priority. What do I need get done today?   Reflect: Review what your tasks and projects so you learn to trust your choices. Schedule time for reflection. Reflection creates more clarity.   Engage: DO SOMETHING! Take the first step. Don’t let worrying about the end r

Becky Berry and Diana Bader discuss the concept of Essentialism.  Our modern concept of Essentialism is based on the book, Essentialism, by Greg McKeown. We tend to believe we have to do it all; that it’s wrong to delegate or even drop tasks. We can ask ourselves is, “Am I the best choice to do what needs to be done in this situation?” When other people are actually the priority (like kids, partners (at home or at work), or employees), it’s crucial to get their input about what makes them feel like they are a priority. When we know our priorities, it becomes easier to delegate or let go of things that don’t honor them. We do our best when we focus on what we do best. Just because we can do more doesn't mean we should. Being busy does not equal being productive. We can filter opportunities through the Essentialism lens and choose the best ones for us. When our priorities are respected we feel valued.  

Becky and Diana explore the relationship between traction and friction.  Traction helps us navigate all terrains. Friction helps traction move us forward. Many people get stuck in the friction. Friction leaves tracks to mark our progress. The bigger the idea the more powerful the friction. Obstacles can be crushed under the weight of traction. We have become so resistant to friction that we have lost our ability to deal with it and have created rules to avoid it. New ideas always create friction before they gain traction. Traction is a function of friction and momentum is the energy produced from traction. We don’t get traction, we gain traction.

Becky and Diana challenge us all to stop the incredibly destructive habit of comparing ourselves to others.  There are so many shoulds to sort through! Often our comparisons are fleeting thoughts that have a big impact. We must trust ourselves and affirm that we know what to do. Comparison keeps us focused outwardly instead of on ourselves. When we compare ourselves to others we limit who we are. To be our best selves we have to declare, “I know/ am enough to take action!” Key questions: Where am I right now? How am I feeling? Am I uncomfortable because I’m stretching or does it just feel wrong? When we are grateful for our journey we can trust and act. There is no room for growth or progress when we are stuck in comparison mode.  

Becky and Diana explore the correlation between being open to different options and our ability to move through tough situations.  Leaving room to find other options is the true test of a growth mindset. When considering other options we need to focus on what we want to accomplish the most. Being immersed in a situation makes it hard for us to see our options. We don’t have control of every situation, but we do have control of our response to them. Three beliefs that can keep us stuck are personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence. Radical self-forgiveness reminds us that we did the best we could with what we had in each situation we found ourselves in. There is always room for other options. Just because a situation is negative doesn’t mean there can’t be positive outcomes. We are more than what happens to us. We can’t force change.  

Becky and Diana discuss how taking vacations improves our body, mind, soul, and even our productivity!  We like to believe we are irreplaceable. When we are drained we cannot serve our constituents as a whole person. We live in a society that believes every moment must be filled with activity. We have to carve out the space to take breaks. Taking breaks allows us to release ourselves from our responsibilities on our terms – before we fall apart. Everyone finds rejuvenation in their own way. Breaks allow us to make room for new things. Things we didn’t even know we need can come to us both during and following a break. Vacation vs Trip. Vacation: We let go of our core responsibilities. Trip: Same stuff, different location. We can intentionally schedule vacation moments into a trip.    

Becky and Diana discuss the perils and pitfalls of not trusting what you know. At some point we have to stop learning and start doing. We can fill our heads with so much information that there’s no room for a solution to appear. Sometimes just making a decision, whether it’s right or wrong, allows us to move forward. When we trust ourselves to make decisions we instinctively make better ones. Sometimes we just need a knowledge detox. Decision fatigue can be managed by creating habits. We can give ourselves permission to decide what is right, right now. We need to appreciate and acknowledge what we have done. A vision becomes a habit when we decide to follow through on it. The only person responsible for deciding where you go is you.

Becky and Diana navigate the sticky subject of money.  There are a lot of social taboos around money. Rules about talking about money change constantly. When we are dismissive of money we are disrespecting it. Money is often a major stressor. How do we talk about money ourselves? Do we talk about money? Do we talk about it from the perspective of never having enough or having plenty? Knowing how to earn money and how to manage money are not the same thing. When we’re looking for a job, we should be aware of each company’s attitude towards money. Does it align with our attitude? Emotions and money go hand in hand. Money is just one currency that has value. Always be actively grateful for the money you have.