Battle Red Radio

It’s that wonderful time of year. The sky nestles into orange at 5:15 p.m., turns mauve at 5:30 p.m., and is enveloped in a violent violet maelstrom that becomes night at 5:45, distorted by man and all his lights. Your skin because white and pasty, lacking taste, devoid of salt and sweat. Gifts hidden in empty cereal boxes on your top shelf. Exercise becomes something for next year. Things are going to change. I can FEEL it. To celebrate this time of year, dark and devoid of form, I have something for you, loyal listener. DM me your address on Twitter @Matt__Weston, or send me an email, it's easy to find, and I'll send it your way. It's a little something for our relationship, that beautiful and wonderful and cherished thing. On this episode of Battle Red Radio Matt and his good friend Taylor preview Week Thirteen of the 2020 NFL season. Topics include NFC East predictions, your beautiful listener questions, the frauds in Cleveland, Ryan Fitzpatrick's returning after Tu'a had his cup of coffee, Arizona underw

Andre Johnson has 1,062 career receptions, 14,185 receiving yards, and 70 touchdowns, he was named to 7 Pro Bowls and 2 All-Pro teams, and won two playoff games over the course of his 14 year NFL career, but despite all of his accomplishments, he had never been on Battle Red Radio. That changed today. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, I spoke with Andre Johnson about what it’s like playing through a tough season like the one Houston is going through, the jealousy he has for Texans wide receivers who get to play with Deshaun Watson, A.J. Brown comparisons, if there is anyone else he wished he punched, the difference in the coaching styles between Gary Kubiak and Bill O’Brien, future coaching desires, and a current offense that he would love to be able to play in. Let’s start the show. While you’re at it, give it a five star review and subscribe below: You can subscribe/listen on iTunes here. You can subscribe/listen on Android/Google here. You can subscribe/listen on Spotify here. You can subscribe/listen

Bill O’Brien draws a circle. Matt Patricia draws a circle. Within each circle they think upon their failures as a head coach with the Houston Texans and the Detroit Lions. In the center is a long list that includes: running off talent, lack of player development, making decisions in the name of a bland puritan culture that doesn’t win football games, playing to their opponent, possession football, and round pegs in square holes. These two franchises are kindred spirits in misery. Each one suffering similar fates, to different extents, at the northern and southern regions of our country, and each one playing football in the cellar during the 2020 NFL season. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt Weston and Chris Perfett of Pride of Detroit discuss the Texans-Lions Thanksgiving game. Topics include: defenestration, life in the cellar, previous Lions-Texans match ups, Detroit’s failure to ESTABLISH THE RUN, life without Kenny Golladay on the field, Deshaun Watson’s performance against another terrible pass d

Deshaun Watson is the sun at the center of the Houston Texans. Orange and wonderful. Glowing and sublime. The rest of the franchise spins around him, and him alone. He's the entirety of everything. He's the only thing that matters this season. He's why the Houston Texans beat the New England Patriots once again. He's the reason why the future should be something to believe in, even if there are so many reasons not to. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Stephanie Stradley stops by to discuss Watson's performance against New England and the overall state of the franchise. Topics include: Watson being his own person in Houston's offense, Rick Smith's interview discussing the decision to trade up for him, the wide variety of things that ruined their 2020 NFL Season, the Gnostic Aarchon that is Jack Easterby, future front office decisions, the enduring legacy of Bill O'Brien, other things to watch for during the remainder of the 2020 NFL Season, and of course, your beautiful listener questions. Let’s start the s

A year ago, we were staring at another New England v. Houston loss. Then magic happened. Bradley Roby picked off Tom Brady. Deshaun Watson hit Kenny Stills on a deep touchdown after Will Fuller dropped one. DeAndre Hopkins and Watson ran the cocktail napkin trick play. And New England’s wide receivers were so bad, that even Houston could play man coverage against them. That was fun. That was a better time. My favorite time from the Bill O’Brien era, an era that has erupted into complete cataclysm, extinction, no past, no future. Hopefully next year will be better. On this episode of Battle Red Radio Matt and his good friend Taylor preview Week Eleven of the 2020 NFL season. Topics include the emptiness behind Antonio Brown’s eyes, a look at the current playoff picture, a fun movie for Steph Stradley, New England’s rugby team against the league’s worst run defense, what’s ailing Baltimore, Gary turning Dalvin into the top running game back in the game, and Jamies Winston understanding that you shouldn’t always

My blissful existence of living in the after glow of last weekend, a weekend without Houston scoring three points, and DeAndre Hopkins catching a Hail Mary, has finally come to an end. I did it. I watched all 34 minutes of Cleveland v. Houston. I watched Hopkins bring home the game winner over three Buffalo Bills, and make Josh Allen’s game winning drive all for naught. I put myself through it. I have no idea how you survived for three and a half hours of it last Sunday. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt Weston and Big Fat Drunk put on their spiked collars and bark about the Texans newest loss, this one against the Cleveland Browns. Topics include: why Houston’s offense only managed to put three on the board, Max Scharping’s flatulent return, Tytus Howard’s progression, the most disappointing Houston wide receiver, the gas money Tyrell Adams owes Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt, Corey Liuget having more sacks than Ross Blacklock and Jonathan Greenard, and, of course, your listener questions. Let’s start th

Words are useless. They're finite and boring. They describe a thing, but they aren't the thing itself. I don't care about these silly little marks anymore. No. What I care about are feelings. How do you describe a feeling? You can't. You can say what the feeling is, but that's only a connection, a string that ties something to something itself. The word itself doesn't produce anything. It's empty. They all are. Feelings. That's what matters. That's what grand and wonderful and means something. So, go for a walk, press play, and feel the feeling, whatever that means, whatever this means, which if you're still following along, means nothing at all. On this episode of Battle Red Radio Matt and his good friend Taylor preview Week Ten of the 2020 NFL season. Topics include: which young quarterback you'd build around once the globalists win and the great reset happens, how Houston can help repair their airplane while it travels in mid air, AFC South MaDnEsS, Nick Chubb running backwards for 200 yards against Housto

The Houston Texans can’t do many things, but dammit, they can beat the Jacksonville Jaguars. No matter how surreal life can be, how untethered reality currently is, at least there is the Houston Texans beating the Jacksonville Jaguars to keep us grounded, instead of floating up to the firmament. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt Weston, and Carlos Flores hop in the litter box and discuss another Houston Texans win over the Jacksonville Jaguars. Topics include: the corpse hidden in the cushions of Jake Luton’s sofa, Deshaun Watson—that’s it, that’s the only thing that matters, Myles Jack obliteration, Duke Johnson getting the workload, this week in defensive self mutilation hosted by Anthony Weaver, how the kids performed on the defensive side of the ball, J.J. Watt’s 100th sack, and, of course, your beautiful listener questions. Let’s start the show. While you’re at it, give it a five star review and subscribe below: You can subscribe/listen on iTunes here. You can subscribe/listen on Android/Google

Ahhhhh, yes, it's that beautiful time of year. The time of year that makes Texans fans Texans fans. Those years we know too well, when the team is covered in boils and choking on the bottom of the standings, dying to try and scrape out four wins, it is back, we are here. This weekend is a staple of those years. Terrible games played by terrible teams. Beautiful memories. Like Cecil Shorts III icing Houston and handing them Jadeveon Clowney. Blake Bortles Bortling. Tom Savage sacked seven times in a single half. And despite these days, and despite these games, the Texans have always been able to beat the Jacksonville Jaguars. This weekend should be no different. On this episode of Battle Red Radio Matt and his good friend Taylor preview Week Nine of the 2020 NFL season. Topics include: reality melting around us, Jake Luton's futon, the boring church attending tucked in shirt version of Josh Allen, woooooooo FOOTBALL TEAM, Philip Rivers going full Philip Rivers, and Brian Flores getting it. While you’re at it,

Although the Houston Texans are bad right now, one day they’ll be a good football team again. To drink the champagne serenading another Wildcard Round win, you have to enjoy the toil, love the rubble, and dive deeper and deeper and deeper into the muck of the never ending pit. Everything is in and of itself. For there’s no good without the bad. There’s no Deshaun Watson without Tom Savage. There’s no (HEAD COACH) without Bill O’Brien. And so, what started off as a highly rehearsed, well dressed, very professional podcast regarding the Houston Texans, divulged into free flowing coversation, that took every course imaginable, and swayed from flowery thoughts on the future, to the disaster we’re currently living in. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt Weston, TIM, and Rivers McCown, continue talking about the Houston Texans. Topics include: the most regrettable words we wrote, Julien Davenport’s Pro Football Focus Grade, if (put the Kool-Aid down) Houston was correct not to sign Jadeveon Clowney to a $100

This offseason the Texans got actively worse. They turned DeAndre Hopkins, the league’s best wide receiver into Brandin Cooks, David Johnson, and kind of Ross Blacklock; they lost Tashaun Gipson and D.J. Reader; they only added Eric Murray to one of the worse pass defenses in the league, and they continued to invest in the offense in free agency, after cutting their torso in half to do so. As a result, the team is 1-6, and they lost the final season of Deshaun Watson’s rookie contract thanks to their own self mutilation. The good news is still they have Deshaun Watson, and that’s all they need, all they ever needed, and one day they’ll be a good football team again because of that alone. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt Weston, TIM, and Rivers McCown, review the decisions Bill O’Brien and Jack Easterby made preceding this season, what to enjoy and watch for during the remainder of the Texans 2020 season, and what lies past this season for our favorite football team. Topics include: revisiting the Hop

S P O O K Y Ghouls and goblins are hollering beneath the floorboards. Brazen wind is hollering through windchimes made from tibias and fibias and orbitals. Cold hearts coughing up turbid blood. People coming to your door with surgical masks and clasping their strange little fingers upon your door. OOOoooooOOOoooooOOO On this episode of Battle Red Radio Matt and his good friend Taylor preview Week Eight of the 2020 NFL season. Topics include: GO FOOTBALL TEAM, burying the Dallas Cowboys, Smoothgrandmaa’s and Diehard Chris’s listener questions, blacked out Arizona, purple Pittsburgh and Baltimore bodies, the Bills finally having the quarterback advantage against New England, [in an extremely Bill Simmons voice] is the Ewing Theory in play for the Cleveland Browns, and light always winning against Nick Foles. You can listen to the embedded player below. While you’re at it, give it a five star review and subscribe below: You can subscribe/listen on iTunes here. You can subscribe/listen on Android/Google here. Y

The Houston Texans are usually a bad football team. Those Gary Kubiak seasons are glowing autumns. The last two years were marred by under performance at the hands of Bill O'Brien until the dam completely burst this year. 2020. 2017. 2013. 2010. Ahhhh, yes, that is Houston Texans football. That is the football we know and love. Deshaun Watson may not be used to it, but we are, OH, we are, it's the swamp we climbed out from. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt Weston, and Diehard Chris reignite the past and review the newest Houston Texans loss, this one coming at the meaty hands of the Green Bay Packers. Topics include: the past, Deshaun Watson's performance, going backwards, the black van outside NRG stadium, run game constipation, the Anthony Weaver experience, Houston's Mt. Rushmore of worst free agent signings, what Houston should do with J.J. Watt, and most of your listener questions (I promise we'll get to the rest ahead of the trade deadline next weekend

The newness of the NFL season is worn out and filled with holes. We’re in the thick of it now. Nothing to do. Laying on the couch in silence. Fancy feast dinners replaced by frozen trays in microwaves. So many pairs of sweatpants. Going to Costco on Sunday to check out the Blu-Ray section is the highlight of our week. In these days, far removed from red and sweltering, it’s important to remember the past, since the present foundation is built upon those past feelings, and the allusion of a better future is a respite until we return to feeling how we once felt before. Although the Texans season is over from a win-loss ramification stand point, football is still fun, football is still good, even though our favorite football team isn’t. Anyways, on this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt and his good friend Taylor preview Week Seven of the 2020 NFL season. Topics include how many passes did Joe Flacco throw (?), SmoothGrandmaa’s questions, a flashlight on the Texans v. Packers game, Dallas Cowboys midwest emo, Te

Imagine tackling Derrick Henry. Imagine standing across from a man who is 6'3" and weighs 238 pounds and can run 40 yards in 4.54 seconds, and now he has the football, and now he just cutback behind a power scoop and is rampaging right at you, and now, there he is, just you and a rhinoceros, except you don't have a high caliber rifle, instead, all you have is your own skeleton, your heart, and your shoulders wrapped in pads, and it's up to to bring down this horned ungulate all on your own. Some people envy professional athletes. I don't. I can't wait to go to work tomorrow and sit in my new chair I just got from Costco. I'm so happy I'm not Eric Murray, or Zach Cunningham, or Tyrell Adams, or Brennan Scarlett. I'm so happy to be myself. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt Weston, Carlos Flores, Scott, and Joe review the Texans absolutely absurd loss to the Tennessee Titans. Topics include: Romeo Crennel's fourth down decision, the Texans new super cool Tim Kelly offense, where we stand with David Johns

With COVID-19 forcing the NFL to maneuver the NFL Schedule around, we've been having football in an assortment of positions we've never thought about. Monday at 4 p.m. Monday at 6:30 p.m. You thought Thursday Night football was fun, well how about TUESDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL where cursing is not only permitted, but it's encouraged, and pants are only for Jesuits and children, and it's way past their bedtime. So, in honor of this tradition, the podcast has now moved to THURSDAY NIGHT. Who knows when it will be next week? How about WEDNESDAY NIGHT? On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt and his good friend Taylor preview Week Six of the 2020 NFL season. Topics include: Houston and Tennessee incest, bringing the 1990s back on Monday Night Football, letting Andy be Andy, Green Bay finally playing a great defense, Josh Allen's triplex with Aaron Rodgers and Patrick Mahomes, and feisty upset picks. Let’s start the show. While you’re at it, give it a five star review and subscribe below: You can subscribe/listen on i

What do you do when the things you’ve always dreamed of arrive? What do you do when those fascinations spinning around your head under the spinning ceiling fan bear fruit, when grand fantasies become reality, when an envisioned version of reality becomes actuality? You open the roof. Praise the beating sun. And cherish your favorite football team kicking the hell out of the Jacksonville Jaguars. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt Weston, Carlos Flores, and Joe review the Texans very beautiful win over the Jacksonville Jaguars. Topics include: the difference in the Texans week five offense compared to weeks one through four, Deshaun Watson’s return to be being Deshaun Watson, the emergence of Brandin Cooks, hopes for David Johnson, if the defensive performance was pyritic, and what win-loss hopes are realistic for the future. Let’s start the show. While you’re at it, give it a five star review and subscribe below: You can subscribe/listen on iTunes here. You can subscribe/listen on Android/Google here.

It's the time of year for goblins, ghosties, and ghoulies, that turn your spine into jellies. Bronze light. Cinnamon entrances to the grocery store. Rotten gut alcohol. Broomsticks and hockey masks. It's still 97 degrees. And Bill O'Brien couldn't even make it to Halloween. Ah, that resounding joy, that infinite feeling, we have our football team back, and we are all one again. On this episode of Battle Red Radio, Matt and his good friend Taylor preview Week Five of the 2020 NFL season. Topics include: best of the 0-4 and 4-0, the next head coach of the University of Texas Bill O'Brien, SmoothGrandmaa's listener questions, the importance of Myles Jack this weekend, if Andy Dalton can take Taylor to the moon, the number one defense in the league, Doug Pederson survival man, and the CHAD Justin Herbert, Let’s start the show. While you’re at it, give it a five star review and subscribe below: You can subscribe/listen on iTunes here. You can subscribe/listen on Android/Google here. You can subscribe/listen on S

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE SB NATION NFL SHOW: Subscribe on Apple Podcasts Subscribe on Spotify The SB Nation NFL Show brings together the greatest fan-alysts from across SB Nation's NFL team communities in one place for the first time ever. Expect deep analysis, irreverent jokes, and plenty of bickering between rivals. It's a show for NFL fans, by NFL fans.   Monday - Monday Football Monday (RJ Ochoa, Pete Sweeney, Michael Kist) Tuesday - Off Day Debrief (Brandon Lee Gowton, Rob "Stats" Guerrera) Wednesday - Palpably Unfair Podcast (Kyle Posey, Michael Kist) Thursday - The Look Ahead (Ed Valentine, Rob "Stats" Guerrera) Friday - Football Cheat Sheet (Jeanna Thomas Kelly, Ameer Tyree) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE SB NATION NFL SHOW: Subscribe on Apple Podcasts Subscribe on Spotify The SB Nation NFL Show brings together the greatest fan-alysts from across SB Nation's NFL team communities in one place for the first time ever. Expect deep analysis, irreverent jokes, and plenty of bickering between rivals. It's a show for NFL fans, by NFL fans.   Monday - Monday Football Monday (RJ Ochoa, Pete Sweeney, Michael Kist) Tuesday - Off Day Debrief (Brandon Lee Gowton, Rob "Stats" Guerrera) Wednesday - Palpably Unfair Podcast (Kyle Posey, Michael Kist) Thursday - The Look Ahead (Ed Valentine, Rob "Stats" Guerrera) Friday - Football Cheat Sheet (Jeanna Thomas Kelly, Ameer Tyree) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices