Rum Doings

In our 173rd ever Rum Doings, our topic is should ebola be required for airline travel? We discuss Nick's mighty teeth, the inevitable appearance of a Walker baby, the complete absence of learning anything useful at middle school, and then dive deep into the insane world of idiotic conspiracy magazine, Nexus New Times. We learn about giant spiders, the Jesuit control of Australia, and the cover-up of anti-gravity.

In our 172nd ever Rum Doings, our topic is what is, considering all the cracks, isn't it now time to admit that paving stones are a noble failure which should be abandoned? We talk about how microwaves enhance baby learning, Nick's food fight with a primary school, and John's disgust with the awfulness of Doctor Who. There's then chat about American late night talk shows, British attempts at them, and then some TV and book recommendations.

In our 171st ever Rum Doings, our topic is We talk about the nature and consequences of political criticism of art, at quite some length, especially how it relates to gaming. This meanders onto talk of our continued struggle with the pink and blue nature of childhoods, and a brief detour into baby having. We're such grown ups that Nick's daughter starts school this week, so we chat about that, and then our horror at how young everyone is. No one is allowed to have been born after 1985.

We discuss how wine tasting is finally proven a sham, John's terrible aggressive shaving, evil cats, and a bit of Ferguson. We rename the Mid-West, and decide America needs more sea. And we think how to get rid of the short.

There is a weird audio issue on this one. It's Nick's fault, even though it only happens when John speaks. So apologies. On Nick's behalf. We talk about holidays, pregnancy, and then, at some length, Israel and the coverage of the Gaza situation. We move on to talk more generally about the filters that are necessary for parsing any news stories, and John's plans to get rid of his baby if he's born on his birthday. And then John's glorious air conditioner!

In our 168th ever Rum Doings, the topic is: should children read? Instead we complete our cruise recordings, docked back in Southampton, sitting on the sunbeds on a mostly abandoned cruise ship. There's discussion of correct and incorrect queuing, and then an account of the Stupidest Men In The World. For some reason John then sounds like he's on the phone, despite having been lay next to Nick in a very sexy way, as he discusses how he has the hardest job in the world. Nick tells us about the Ukrainian barman he fell in love with, and we tell you about a very opulent meal we stuffed into our faces.

In our 167th ever Rum Doings, the rules continue to be thrown into the sea. Nick is locked out of the cabin and this week's episode is brought to you by Victoria and John. We bring you the latest news in Disney princess dress technology, and debate the merits of 3D printing. John explains Eggheads, and then tries to convince himself he's okay with the boat's rocking, all in an effort to tell a story about a mean lady. As the waves outside the window start to grow really rather enormous, we talk cable cars, and Victoria tells us about her dad's theories on the gays.

In our 166th ever Rum Doings, we're still on the ocean waves. BUT WHAT IS THIS? John has been thrown out, perhaps overboard, and replaced by someone called "Laura". The topic is: should all of Gary Glitter's records be pulped. Instead, Nick and Laura discuss whales, and are then rudely interrupted by the captain of the boat. Nick learns about pregnancy, and then they move on to John's anger issues. Laura laments not being a particle physicist, and Nick laments not being an endocrinologist. And then Nick delivers his Fountain Theory.

In our 165th ever Rum Doings, we're back on the ocean waves! The topic is: why can't kings just reign until they die, for goodness sake? After three days at sea, Nick and John find themselves trapped on a floating town with the most awful population on Earth. We begin with a look through the HMS Sinksalot's onboard programme, the Pitter Patter. There's discussion of the world's most passive-aggressive magician, when John interviewed Douglas Adams, and incredibly, Nick's phone rings in the middle of the sea.

In our 164th ever Rum Doings, our topic is, are low-cost airlines in Asia too much of a good thing? This is a hastily uploaded episode, so excuse the lack of a description. You find out what's discussed by listening! There won't be a Rum Doings next week, as we're going on the #cruiseofdisappointment! So we'll be recording a whole bunch on board the Good Ship Sinkalot, then releasing them to you on our return.

Topics include: Ru Paul! UKIP! The aesthetics of sexuality! John's elbone surgery! Tips on oogling people in public! Aeroplane toilets! Naked & Marooned! Manual typewriters! And how coffee saved John's faith!

In our 162nd ever Rum Doings, our topic is, are net curtains ever acceptable? Apologies for this brief summary, but John is currently one-handed, and typing hurts rather a lot. But just know this is the second appearance of Judge Coxcombe, in which we respond to your questions. Also we're very offensive, so enjoy that. It's a really good, double-length episode! Don't forget to email podcast@rumdoings.com with the word "shibboleth" to indicate your interest in coming to a live edition of Rum Doings.

In our 161st ever Rum Doings, our topic is, why are we no longer a nation of bunters? Hurrah! We're joined by the Lord High Judge Coxcombe, who is hear to judge, well, John apparently. Next week's episode will feature his rulings on you, the lone listener. This week, instead we begin with some comely discussion of racist, racist UKIP and corrupt career politician Nigel Farage. We consider the middle class bias of Twitter, and then Nickbot is unable to process the concept that someone might be nice about someone else without there being some concerning subtext. We then argue about whether we should put away our childish things, and Nick's daughter's plans to murder Martin. We learn how to detect a fake baby Jew, revisit the "Russia are the baddies" theorem, and then require the Judge to rule on Scottish independence. It then becomes time to judge John on whether he is terrible or not.

It's Rum Doings in person! We unite in the echoey halls of Posi Castle We begin with our listener's all-time highlights of Rum Doings. Then we begin our LCHF picnic, of home-baked not-bread and chocolate brownies. Mmmmmmmm. With our mouths full, we explore the ways of Nigel Ferage, which inevitably leads us to discussing abortion. And then we move on to a very special letter. Typed on a manual typewriter, what begins as a sympathy message about the disappearance of Dexter, quickly becomes... very strange.

In our 158th ever Rum Doings, our topic is, isn't it about time we trusted MPs to manage their own business? We begin with Nick criticising some videos he's never seen, based on his own mad assumptions. This somewhat leads us to discussing internet abuse, then eventually John's deserved privilege. We discover that the holy spirit is a God fart, and have a few guesses at who's going to die next. We then conclude that all people aged 73 are paedophiles unless proven otherwise.

Today we're here to tell you about how to get fat while pregnant. Inspired by an NHS booklet, we learn why the key way to get as fat as possible is to cram carbs into your face while eschewing the likes of saturated fats that might endanger an expectant mother with providing their developing child with substances it needs. We also discuss... ("we", ha) Nick also discusses which supplements you should take, in what ends up being an almost exclusively dietary edition. Oh, and Lucy went outside, and now she's come back in again!

In our 156th ever Rum Doings, our topic is isn't it about time we went to war with Russia? Recorded across the Atlantic, on an overly-loud laptop mic in San Francisco, and Nick's echo chamber in London, Nick naturally insists on talking about bloody videogames. John was at GDC at the time of recording, so despite wanting to talk about anything else, Nick must be obeyed. There's also talk about San Francisco itself - a peculiar and unsettling mix of opulence and horrendous poverty. As John struggles through his cold, Nick expresses his hatred of women, and we give the latest news on the death penalty. And hash browns. Mmmmmmm, hash browns.

In our 154th ever Rum Doings, our topic is whether term time holidays should be met with the death penalty. We begin with some wonderful news about John's financial windfall, then move on to our expert discussion on primary schools, about which we both know nothing. John has a good moan about his painful arm, and then for some godforsaken reason Nick insists on going on and on about Scottish independence. We abuse more idiots on Twitter, and then introduce a new law that all new immigrants must go to key parties.