Marriage Radio: Helping Your Marriage

Dr. Joe Beam has said many times that if your spouse is leaving you for another person that s/he "madly loves" it may be to your benefit to slow the divorce down.Why?Because those states of being "madly in love" (also known as limerence) have a shelf-life. That euphoria doesn't last a lifetime. By slowing down the divorce you may be able to rescue your marriage because the limerence wears off before the divorce is final.Now Dr. Beam is modifying that statement. He still believes that limerence will erode and that there can be value in slowing the divorce. However, in an effort to slow the divorce, some have done things that provoke their abandoning spouses in ways that aren't beneficial.Yes, Dr. Beam strongly believes that in a divorce you should get an attorney and fight for everything that you need, even if that thwarts your spouse's plans. If your spouse becomes angry, say something such as "I'm not the one wanting this divorce. I'm happy to work on the mar

Who To Listen To When Your Marriage Is In Trouble - The Dr. Joe ShowThe moment people hear that your marriage is in trouble, you get deluged with every sort of opinion, recommendation, and idea that people can come up with.Most of it is bad.Some of it is motivated by good intentions. However, if the ones who give the advice love you, they most likely aren't very happy with your spouse. Therefore, their viewpoint is skewed against him/her and very much toward protecting you (and maybe toward damaging your spouse). Others who aren't so close think their advice valid because of something they personally experienced or that they witnessed in another. That's enough for them to make judgments about you, your spouse, and your situation even when they know only a little of what's actually happening. These folks typically are adamant that you heed their counsel, although in reality their advice often is the OPPOSITE of what you should be doing. If you doubt that, post a problem on Facebook telling

Your spouse strayed. Maybe it was another person. Maybe you threw him/her out because of their behavior. Whatever the cause, you're now trying to make it work again.But...You expect total honesty. You demand that s/he talk about the problem. You want to be understood and you want to understand why s/he did the things s/he did. You thought that reconciling would automatically bring about deep conversations, transparency, accountability, and finally a marriage better than it was before.Are those reasonable expectations? Yes.No.You see, it's all about timing. In this program Dr. Joe Beam and special guest Jim Pourteau discuss that when a couple think they are in reconciliation, many times they are actually in a step before that. No wonder they get frustrated; they're expectations don't match their reality.If you and your spouse are wanting to reconcile - even thinking that you are reconciling - this program will give you insight into what to expect, what NOT to expect, what is okay to demand

Do those who fight for marriages ever think that a couple should divorce?Yes.At www.MarriageHelper.com we fight for marriages. Since 1999 we've been able to help three out of four married couples in crisis resolve their seemingly insurmountable problems and save their marriages. It's known around the world that we do all we can to help marriages survive.Unfortunately, we know that not all marriages will.So when should one give up? Find the attorney and file for divorce? Is it when your marriage counselor says you should? Our experience says no. Good marriage counselors are worth their weight in gold. Others...well, let's just say sometimes it appears that some take the easy route and suggest divorce when there are still viable options for saving the marriage and making it good again.In this program, Dr. Joe Beam and special guest Jim Pourteau discuss how to know when it's time to call it quits. Both are experienced marriage helpers with a great deal of experience working with couples in cr

He had an affair that nearly ended the marriage. He told her he was sorry. He said he wanted them to try to work things out, but he's not quite ready to reconcile.Then he was offered a job in another city. It's lucrative and he accepted. He comes home every weekend to live with his wife and children. They have a great time. He's attentive. The kids love his being there. But then the weekend is over and he heads back.Workable? Maybe. However, there's a catch. During the week, he doesn't call, doesn't take calls, and has no contact whatsoever with his wife or children. They have great weekends. She wonders and worries about what he's doing during the week. It's driving her mad. Is he having another affair? Does he live with some woman over there? What is he doing that prevents him from calling, checking in...or being checked on?She offered an ultimatum of sorts. "I'll be gone when you come on the weekends. You and the kids have a great time but I can't live

Her husband left her after thirty years of marriage. She feels lost. She wonders if her life is over. She doesn't know if she can ever be happy again.In the first podcast in this two-part series, Dr. Joe Beam brought in his special guest David Mathews, Director of SparkOfLife.Org. David is an expert in helping people deal with loss - any kind of loss, including the death of a loved one. The principles he provided in that podcast "Life Feels Hopeless After My Spouse Left" laid the foundation for this program. In this broadcast, David and Dr. Beam discuss practical, doable processes to help her - and you - deal with the loss and find healing for her life.That doesn't mean that she has to give up on her marriage. As Dr. Beam teaches in many podcasts, there is a process that can work to bring back the abandoning spouse and make the marriage good again. Even better than it was. Yet...it isn't a guarantee. It is an amazing process. If anything works, this will work. Three out of four couple

She met him when she was 16. They became childhood sweethearts through high school and married soon afterward. After thirty years of marriage, he left. Walked out stating that it was over and he wasn't coming back.She still loves him. Her heart is broken. She feels that her life as she has known it will never be again...that she'll never be happy...that she'll never get past the pain.Can she? Should she? Will she?In the program, Dr. Joe Beam interviews David Mathews, Director of SparkOfLife.Org. David is an expert on the pain of loss, the emotions one feels, and the path to healing.He and Dr. Beam discuss in detail why it is natural - and quite okay - for her to feel the pain she feels. However, the go beyond that. They provide an understanding of what she is going through. Then they explain the process she can choose to follow if she wants to heal her hurt and have a meaningful and fulfilled life.It isn't easy...pain never is...but it can be done and life can again have joy and happiness.

You spouse is involved with someone else. You love your mate and want to save your marriage. You heard about the amazingly effective system taught by Marriage Helper that works powerfully in helping people save their marriages. You went to www.MarriageHelper.com and found the information. You paid close attention when Dr. Beam explained how to be a safe place for your straying spouse and you have tried to be that person in hopes of salvaging your marriage. You grasped that to allow your spouse to be open and transparent - even about his/her affair partner - can lead in time to the restoration of your marriage...But...You've discovered that being a safe p;lace isn't always easy. Allowing, even encouraging, your husband or wife to be open about the affair partner is painful to hear. As a matter of fact, you wonder if it might be doing more harm than good...especially for your own mental, emotional, and physical health. Should you stop? Is there another way?In this program, Dr. Joe Beam gives a brief o

He claimed that God told him to leave his marriage. Later he said that he felt guilt for leaving.He said "I love you but am not in love with you." Later he said, "I don't know how to live my life without you."Then, almost out of the blue, he says "I am in love with you" but he continues to live with the other woman.What do you do? Do you wait for him to evolve back to wanting to be with you over her? Do you go ahead and divorce him and get on with your life?In this program, Dr. Joe Beam, along with his special guest, relationship expert Jim Pourteau, answers the woman's question. You'll hear her describe the situation and ask what she should do. You'll hear the expert explanation of what is going on with her husband, You may be surprised when you hear the answer to her question about whether to divorce or to wait.For more free resources for your marriage go to www.MarriageHelper.com. You can also find more free podcasts by subscribing to Marriage Radio on iTun

Your spouse wants out of the marriage. You don't. You love your husband/wife and can't understand why s/he no longer loves you. Is there hope?Yes. Unfortunately, most people in your situation do the wrong things...things that in reality make it less likely you can put the marriage back together. In a previous podcast, Dr. Joe Beam and his special guest Jim Pourteau explained three things NOT to do if you want to save your marriage. In this program, they explain three things that you MUST do if you wish to keep your marriage alive.These are not three magic steps that guarantee your marriage will survive. They are three crucial things to understand and put into practice that will help you save your marriage if anything will. The odds? Excellent. Workshops for marriages in crisis that Dr. Beam developed have a 75% success rate even if one spouse wants out of the marriage and has absolutely no desire for it to continue.Join Dr. Beam and his special guest, relationship expert Jim Pourteau, for this eye-o

You just found out your spouse wants out of your marriage. You love your spouse. You don't want the marriage to end. WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?!Before knowing the 3 things you should do, it's very important to understand 3 key things you should NOT do if you are to have any hope for salvaging your marriage.Unfortunately, most people do one or more of these three and put their marriage into greater jeopardy. It's extremely important to know what they are, understand why they cause more problems, and why you should not do them...or stop doing them. In this program, Dr. Joe Beam and his special guest, relationship expert Jim Pourteau, discuss three key things to avoid. They explain what they are, why people do them, and why they have greater negative effect than positive. If you love your spouse but s/he does or says any of the following:- wants out of your marriage- says s/he no longer loves you...or that s/he never did- is involved with someone else- claims s/he just wants to be alone- is cold and dist

Want to truly communicate? Be Understood? Understand?If so, there is one thing you MUST STOP from occurring in your conversations that matter AND USE a simple yet powerful system that will make it so much easier to understand and be understood. In this program Dr. Joe Beam explains why writing (especially texting and emails) don't work when you need to talk about things that matter. He also explains why phone calls usually don't work well either. Then how do you communicate?Dr. Beam shares his simple, yet powerful, "Triple A Engine" that turns frustrating conversations into unique interactions that meld two people together. He explains it and illustrates it so you can use it when discussing everything from money...hurt emotions...and even sexual disagreements when one partner wants something the other doesn't want to do.This same "Triple A Engine" works with your friends, children, parents, or anyone else with whom you need to communicate on more than a casual level.It is an

"Why don't churches talk about sexual refusal?" he asked.He explained that his wife of 28 years quit being sexual with him some six years ago. She said she wasn't interested. He asked her to seek help; she replied that it was his problem.Now he's had enough. He's divorcing her. She's telling the folks at church that she has no idea why he's divorcing her and that he's a bad husband. He wants to go to those folks and tell them what's really going on.What should he do? Is there a solution?In this program Dr. Joe Beam relies not just on his PhD earned while researching marital and sexual satisfaction, but also on his Bachelor's degree and many hours of graduate courses in Bible. He explains what the Bible says about sexuality in marriage and points out a specific section that addresses directly the subject of sexual refusal in marriage.Dr. Beam points out to the caller that there may be an underlying problem that led to her not wanting to have sex with him..

The caller says that her husband came back home after ending the affair. He's nicer, kinder, and more understanding than he was before the affair happened. His children love the change in him...his son now views his dad as his best friend.But...He won't change his cell phone number. He won't make any changes to his social media. His wife asks. He doesn't comply.Now she's worried that he's still involved with the other woman. Her friends aren't helping with their advice. As a result, she's pulling away from him. She asks what she should do.In this program Dr. Joe Beam answers her questions about what she should do to get her husband to do what she needs to help her feel more secure. He also explains what might be to her advantage to tolerate and what to do if she can't live with the fear of his continued involvement with the other woman.If you wish to leave a question for Dr. Beam to answer in these podcasts, you may record it at www.SpeakPipe.com/JoeBeam. For artic

They were together for a decade before they decided to marry. It was wonderful; he told her how happy he was that she is his wife. They laughed. Had fun. Enjoyed life.Until the night he told her that he had found his "soul mate" and wanted his wife's permission to date this amazing new woman in his life.The wife, of course, was devastated. She still loves him. She's trying to find what suddenly went wrong...what she did...what happened...how he could love her so intensely and then, without warning, be "madly in love" with another.Listen to her story. Hear her pain. Understand her self-doubt. Then hear Dr. Joe Beam explain to her what limerence is. He addresses her concern that she was the problem. He helps her think through what likely happened. Most importantly, he gives her specific suggestions about what she should NOT do if she wants to salvage her marriage and what she MUST do if there is a chance of reconciliation.If you have a question for Dr. Beam, go to https://www.speak

Military marriages have the highest rate of divorce in America. Couple that with lots of anger, addiction, and separation...and there's plenty of reasons to divorce.Kimberly Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper, and her husband Rob married while Rob was in the military. In the first year of marriage, they moved halfway around the world. In their second year of marriage, they separated for a year. In their third year of marriage, anger and addiction split them even further apart and their marriage was headed for divorce. Not the "newlywed years" that others had told them about. However, Rob and Kimberly overcame the odds and fought for their marriage. But not at the same time. Hear their story in this podcast and learn how they learned how to deal with anger, addiction, and being separated.Learn more about Marriage Helper at www.marriagehelper.comOr call 615.472.1161 or 866.903.0990

Is your spouse emotionally disengaged? Physically gone? Have you relentlessly tried searching, trying to figure out what you can do to bring your spouse back or make your spouse want to be in the marriage at all, only to find yourself completely overwhelmed?I understand.If you go to Google and type in "what to do to save a marriage" or "what to do to bring a spouse back", the information is insane. A lot of it contradicts the other, and if you try to implement some from here and some from there, then you'll find yourself frustrated and back at square one.We want to help make this easy for you. We have laid it out, and figured out the FIRST thing that you should do when trying to bring your spouse back.We teach you how in this episode.Be sure to listen, subscribe, and review to help us help more couples!Contact us to learn how we can help you save your marriage:www.marriagehelper.com 615.472.1161 or 866.903.0990

She's married to one but in love with another. She said she was Christian and spoke of her great love for God and amazing relationship with Jesus. She mentioned that she had prayed about what she was to do and in response God "told" her to divorce her husband and be with her lover...that He had sent her this lover and wanted her to be with him.She talked about how she had quit interacting with Christian people because they were mean and judgmental about her leaving her husband for another. She feels complete confidence that God answered her prayer for a wonderful marriage by providing the right man for a new marriage.Yes, she had slept with her lover, but God was fine with that also. "God is love. I feel love for him. Therefore, this is of God."Is it?In this program Dr. Joe Beam discusses whether God sends people lovers to replace their spouses. Dr. Beam usually approaches relationship questions from his educational and social science background. When he speaks, he refers to solid res

Has your spouse cheated?Are your friends and family urging you to kick your mate out? Punish him or her? Get on with your life?But you find yourself wondering if that is what you should do. If your spouse wants to come back, should you allow it? If you do, can you have a good marriage again or will you always have problems with trust...hurt...maybe even self doubt?If your spouse is "in love" with someone else and doesn't want to come back, is your marriage over? Is there a way to put it back together? Even if there is, do you have the desire or the strength to go through your pain and make your marriage good again?In this program, Dr. Joe Beam provides the pros and cons of saving a marriage after infidelity. He explains the three types of extramarital affairs. He gives you the primary points to consider in deciding whether to take back a spouse who strayed...or to win back the spouse who is still straying.Find more information about why people stray, why they sometimes feel that they are "