Don Woods

Paul Gasgoine has appeared in court after assaulting a railway official…when he was drunk……these so called celebs really brass me off…they have it all and throw it down the drain…and people STILL feel sorry for them…the guy is a waste of space…George Best was another….got a kidney transplant and still drank himself to death…the kidney might have saved someone else’s life… Gibraltar has featured heavily on the news here re all the disruption….is it me or isn’t Gibraltar in SPAIN?....it would be a different story if Spain laid claim to the Isle of Man I feel…..your take on this would be interesting. Godfrey Bloom…is a UKIP member and stated that this country is sending a billion quid each MONTH to foreign aid while we are having to close down hospitals and cut down on health care etc……while we continue to send money to “bongo bongo land”….OH!! HEAVEN’S ABOVE!! Everyone as usual piles in with their attention seeking opinions…”Racist”…etc…..the guy just says what everyone thinks…and it strikes me that the on

There has been a lot of complaining about the money councils are obtaining from parking fines….this has always been a bone of contention with us Brits….personally I can’t see a problem…DON’T PARK ILLEGALLY !!...some people seem to think they are special and have some sort of “right” to park wherever they like with no consideration for anyone else….I find the car parking charges a bit excessive in Birkenhead so I park outside the zone and walk in…no problem. On the same subject high street shops are up in arms about the business they are losing because of double yellow lines outside their premises…SO there is a suggested move by the government to allow parking on them for a short time….have you ever heard anything more ridiculous?...can you imagine the havoc this could cause…the yellow lines are there for a reason…namely to prevent gridlock and keep pedestrians safe…or have I got it wrong…and how can this possibly be successfully monitored? On the subject of money collection there is a programme on the tel

The Royal Baby……in case you didn’t know Kate and Wills have had a baby…there was nothing else on the news for three days….even on the day before they were babbling on about nothing…Nicholas Witchall talked for 20 minutes about absolutely nothing at all….every time I see him I think of the time he asked Charles a question (I think it was in Switzerland) and Charles whispered to William “I can’t stand that man”…trouble is his mike was still on…oops!!....how you can get weeks of news out of “William and Kate have had a baby…it’s name is George”….is beyond me…not only here but worldwide…GET A LIFE !!!! ....bought a second class stamp the other day….50p……that’s 10 bob to post a second class letter….are the post office having a laugh?...what was it in our day tuppence ha’penny?...and the health and safety bods have been at it again…killer flip flops…you can’t wear flip flops for work in case they get stuck in a lift door….but you CAN wear them when you are putting a naked flame into a Chinese lantern….I understan

What are we like in the UK?…We have had two weeks of a heatwave …NOW they are issuing health warnings…”people could DIE!! In this unbearable heat!!!”….employees are threatening to walk out of the workplace if the temperature gets to 30 degrees………a month ago we were all complaining about the COLD and worrying about DROWNING with the floods…..I’m waiting for the “Drought Alert” which will happen any time now. I must say it certainly brings out some strange sights on the streets…not pretty ones. Our fundraising organisation The Cheshire Cats gave £500 to a local kids charity and our “chairman” was invited by the charity to join them on their invite to Prince Charles’s house…This included a tour around the gardens and a two course meal….for which you had to pay 32 quid….this plus the train fare and suit hire obviously put him off…...reminded me of my friend Monty Lister being invited to the Queen’s garden party at the Palace…..it bucketed down so Liz and Phil vanished back indoors and left the 3000 guests to b

.Great euphoria over Andy Murray’s win…. …..at last we have someone who can serve…that’s the key….….as for the ladies final…oh dear..none event or what…AND they get the same prize money as the blokes…….but I don’t know why they have to put so many pointless statistics on the screen…the ball revolved at 200 rpm etc…who cares?....it somewhat overshadowed the British Lions win…there was hardly a mention on the news…any other time they would have been lining the streets. There have been several arty festivals up and down the country….now I don’t know about you but poetry leaves me cold…especially when it doesn’t rhyme…and the poets go over the top when they are reciting their “works”…I just do not get poetry….don’t mind the odd naughty limerick but as far as I’m concerned it’s money for old rope......and a village down south is scraping up road kill and keeping it in fridges in case it is claimed… The television is atrocious at the moment….so I have been attempting to watch the odd American series….why is it t

.As you probably know a Chinese lantern landed in a plastics factory and set the whole thing on fire…this is a display of the sheer stupidity of this nation…these things have been a hazard for years now…last bonfire night I was watching a load of them drift past my house and some were lading in trees and starting to burn…fortunately it was winter and the trees were wet….what does it take to make these halfwitted health and safety plonkers see further than the end of their nose…THE THINGS ARE DANGEROUS AND SHOULD BE BANNED !!!....FULL STOP…it’ll be a garage forecourt next…oh sorry…they are far too busy banning conkers in the playground. The M.P.s are thinking of giving themselves a 10 grand rise…it’s not decided yet…they have to vote…I wonder what the result will be?....I think it’s time EVERY M.P. was forced to give us all a breakdown as to where their salaries actually go…that would be interesting. Some member of staff in Sainsburys has refused to serve a customer because they were on the mobile phone….a

The sentence of 5 years for the teacher has received a lot of disapproval from the general public … but of course all the “do-gooders” are calling him a pervert and a paedo…and of course all the overpaid psychologists come out of the woodwork with their “expert” opinions on how this could ruin the girls life etc….had it been France there would have been no problem….I think the girl is old enough to know her own mind better than some holier than though windbag. There was another happening where the bloke is a low down rat…someone took a photo of Nigella Lawson’s husband allegedly grabbing her throat in a restaurant…which gave all the “men haters” a chance to pile in...all with their one-sided opinions…I failed to see what it had to do with anyone…but oh yes…the bloke is to blame….Nick Clegg was asked if he would have intervened had he been there (which was a stupid question) and he said no…BUT Ed Milliband said he would have waded in…perleeeease…I know a chap who intervened in a similar situation in a pub an

Big news!!....the Liverpool amphibious Duck sunk in the Albert Dock….and everyone had to swim for it….several of the tourists ended up in hospital and most were rescued…calamity or what?…they are blaming a tyre which was floating in the dock and got caught around the propeller….can’t see that though….I have a possible theory….it apparently passed all the safety tests but hey it’s a world war 2 job….I think there will be a bit of suing going on…especially when the solicitors get their teeth in…..and…guess what…it’s the same duck that the Queen and Prince Pip were on last year….close or what? In Racing, Royal Ascot is underway…and the dress code was announced on tele….ties NOT cravats must be worn and top hats must be black etc etc….what a load of pretentious tripe….this is the reason I hate golf clubs…”Oh you must have a collar on your shirt when on the course and you must wear a jacket and tie in the bar etc etc”…..give me a break !!!!....try moving into the 21st century. There is a programme on the tele

We both watched the documentary on Agnetha Falskog (the ABBA blonde)….for 63 she still looks good…….however we were a bit disappointed …didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know…she never even mentioned Anafrid so all in all it was a bit of a damp squib…she has got a new solo album out and …she has done a duet with Gary Barlowe who suggested they do the song live at some stage…. Also there was a documentary on the history of The Eagles…very interesting…they never quite hit it off at any stage but the music was great…groups?...….it’s the constant pressure that gets through to you which is what audiences don’t see. Another light aircraft has crash landed in the midlands…fortunately there were no fatalities….one hit some trees at Caernarvon airport a few weeks back…it was hired from Blackpool and the hire company said it must have been pilot error because that particular plane had done over a MILLION miles without any problems…and has been regularly serviced…I know nothing about planes but I don’t thi

Big hoo hah about the intention of Wetherspoons opening up a place on the motorway….”It will encourage drivers to drink”….”Those struggling to abstain will be tempted”….…the reason for the complaints is probably because Wetherspoons do cheap good value food and cheap COFFEE … unlike the present rip off service stations….and maybe PASSENGERS would like a pint…I’m a big fan of the ‘Spoons .. go get ‘em guys. Two more items of scary news this week….full out announcement - “shower gel could have a bad effect on pregnant women’s babies…and they must avoid eating food which has been plastic wrapped”…this is from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynacologists (imagine working there and having to say that every time someone asks you where you work)….but they later added that this is only an assumption…so let’s scare everyone first!!........ALSO there are KILLER jelly fish in the Med….purple ones !!....a jellyfish is like a nettle…they don’t chase you and in virtually every case you rub a bit of ammonia on th

The “Researchers” have been at it again…. (a)…a university study has revealed that if women don’t talk about their age…they are much happier and contented… (b)…if you hold a 5p or a 10p piece in your hand for too long you can be affected by the nickel in them…because there is more in these coins than in others…this could be a major problem in Yorkshire I’m thinking. (c)…If you take painkillers it could cause cancer…according to research of course…this was a big announcement on the news…then they said in a quieter voice that it is only certain painkillers…but let’s get everyone panicking first. (d) …talking of panic…headline news for two days “if you go in hospital for an operation on a Friday you are more likely to DIE than if you go in an a Monday”…I’m sure all those lined up for a Friday session will be delighted with this news…..I don’t know what goes on in the heads of these TV people….they must get a big kick out of scaring everyone. . .On the subject of TV it’s getting harder to find ANYTHING worth

Here's Don's take on the week in the UK..... The price of fuel is under investigation in the UK with the big boys being accused of price fixing on oil…..we all know already that we are being ripped off as companies like Sainsburys and Tescos offer up to 12p off a litre when you spend a certain amount in their stores so they are obviously making a tidy profit to begin with….apparently the offices of the big oil companies have been raided and evidence gathered…this is after the Office of Fair Trading looked into the situation and found nothing wrong……a pointless organisation with no doubt highly paid staff…they are about as useful as a sponge hammer…. It’s all getting a bit out of hand with all these “researches”…the latest one is by The Institute of Economic Evironment ..or something…who have stated that their “research” has revealed that people who stay at work and don’t retire are healthier and happier than those who don’t…...Don wonders how much that cost…."I remember back in the day when I played squash

Don looks for what interests his lively mind and it is always an interesting half hour to see what has been trending. There was a lad on the television who has worked out how to save a fortune on shopping-by using vouchers He is only 16... but what a character! He goes on line and anywhere he can get discount vouchers he gets them and in one instance he reduced a shopping bill from £104 to £1.30. We discussed Jimmy Tarbuck who has allegedly historically sexually assaulted some bloke in the seventies. Don thinks this is all getting very silly and out of hand because no charges have been made yet (as usual). Even the speaker in Parliament has been accused of raping two men IN THEIR TWENTIES. He said he was socialising with one of his accusers just last week. We also looked at the balance in the presentation of news as events are taking place in the UK celebrating the war heroes who are still around….the North Atlantic convoys who took supplies to the Russians dodging U-Boats is one point of reference where m

.The Jimmy Savile squad have been in action again and have arrested Bill Roache who plays Ken Barlowe in Coronation Street…he’s 81 now…..it’s for alleged sexual activity with a 15 year old girl in 1967…at this point in time he hasn’t been charged so why is it all over the media…the “victim” gets total anonymity so why not the alleged “criminal”….no matter what happens now his life is in ruins…very strange….and Stuart Hall who is now 83 was recently arrested and plastered all over the news..however he has ADMITTED to sexual behaviour back in the day with girls ranging from 9 to 18…..this is all bad stuff but let’s hear about it after the case is tried eh? There is a move afoot to give prisoners a hard time….torture?..no…they are taking their satellite TVs off them….AND making them wear prison uniforms until they behave themselves….and if they cause trouble they will NOT be allowed to play snooker….whatever happened to bread and water?..................On the subject of the law the spinning sign outside Scotl

It has been really windy here over the last week…worse than I can remember seeing it….we had gusts of 80 mph…..my garden was devastated..it lifted metal tables into the air and totatlly destroyed a solid wooden bird table….the March winds shall blow…..................................The government are going to cut benefits to make it more profitable for the scroungers to actually go out and find a job…which has upset a young single parent mother of three…she has been on complaining that she can’t afford to have her benefit reduced because she can barely survive on her present…wait for it…500 quid a week !!....she says it will mean her children wont be able to go on school trips…which makes you wonder what she is doing when her kids are in school ??.... We have just received a letter telling us we have to now PAY to have our garden waste bins collected…35 quid a year….which is O.K. I suppose…but this will obviously mean that our collection of morons wont pay it and will simply dump stuff in the street…on the

The news has been swamped with Maggie Thatcher's passing....as usual the media hone in on ALL the negativity giving publicity to all the morons which sadly make you ashamed to be British......celebrating someone who has died by dancing in the streets is sickening to watch....especially as most of the idiots weren't even born when she was in power.........and to further indicate the sad situation someone has re-released Judy Garland'sThe Wicked Witch Is Dead-which is flying up the charts....the BBC are wondering how to get round this...;we may as well all go back to living in caves and start again. Speed limits have come under fire on country roads due to the high number of deaths by idiots driving too fast........again it's down to lack of grey matter.........WOW they are now talking about goal line technology in soccer.....blimey it's 57 years since the German goal was disallowed...you know..the one that was 9 inches over the line?...and that one of ours a few years back which was about 6 feet over the line

We chatted about Don's Doowop record on the internet programme With Doowop Joe Conroy before moving to The Mathew Street Festival which has now been re-named - The Liverpool International Music Festival….the old days of bands hammering out Merseybeat seem to be over…now it’s tribute bands from all over the place. There will be a few big stages around the waterfront and no doubt the pubs around the area will have live bands….it’s a great day out for those into it all…I have done it in the past but lugging gear over peoples heads to get to the stage in the Cavern doesn’t do a lot for me…..but the tourists love it….I found an old video of a gig I did at the Cavern…I stood in for The Black Knights and played bass ….with a mate of mine who stood in on guitar….and neither of us can remember it….sad or what. The UK is the most obese country in the world….according to the media….so the government are putting a tax on fattening drinks etc…..making a few more bob for the MPs expenses….I can’t see why they can’t brin

Don's been up to the Lakes this week…wonderful weather except for Wednesday when it snowed all day…but otherwise it was great..he did a bit of hiking around Windermere. Talking of The Lakes there is a place south of Lancaster called Arkholme and the villagers are brassed off because they can’t get Broadband…because the powers that be reckon they are too far out on a limb to fit optic cables….SO they have done it themselves….they have dug the ditches and fitted the necessary electronics…AND funded it themselves…to be saluted. The horsemeat scandal is reaching boiling point…they hav found 100% horsemeat in one of the top supermarkets offerings…..and as usual the media is trying to create mass panic…what I have yet to see is anyone who has suffered health issues…the way they go on you would think everyone is dropping dead from meat poisoning. Some young guy has got 4 years jail for making some statement on twitter…he said he was going to blow up some airport…it was a joke…and he deleted it next day…but still