Building A Better Dave

So I was halfway filling out the application at match.com when I hear a familiar voice in my head ask, "Is that what you're going to wear?"  There is a part of me that feels I need someone to go through life with, and someone to hold my hand, when I get old and feeble. This might've been brought on by the Death of my Dad followed by my Aunt, but I can see the bus coming, and it's a ways off, but its not that far away. So I am torn between two worlds.  And today I decided to turn on a microphone and talk about it. 

Today I share what it was like to go through the holidays ALONE last year.  As horrifying as that might sound, there were some perks. 

Today I talk about the lost art of losing gracefully.

Today I talk about a negative voice in my head that just always seems to be there. Always. Lately something has not felt normal. Something was weird. Something didn't feel right.  It turns out the thing that wasn't wrong, was there wasn't something wrong.  I'm not dreading going home I'm not under lots of stress. I like my job. I'm not super stressed about money I'm pretty sure, that it may be a while before I get in another argument.  I feel respected.  What is this feeling? Holy cow, I'm happy. I forgot what this has felt like. Much like a dog who has been beat too much, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and it's not.  You can feel bad about yourself when you compare yourself to others.  The American life is to have a spouse, a house and kids. Well I have no spouse, probably not going to have a house, and the kids boat has sailed. If I think about this too much, I can feel like I've missed something. Yet, I have a great life. I'm sitting in air conditioning, employed, I'm down 30 lbs.  Life i

Last weekend I was driving to the place where I ride my bike. It beautiful. I get out there, relax, and enjoy nature. This week I was driving and I passed signs for Brian and Linda's wedding, and then the reception. I thought of how happy Brian and Linda must be on this day. It was an awesome day to sweat 20 lbs off in a tux. I thought of how I felt on my wedding days. Yes, there have been two. With this in mind, you can learn from people who succeed at something, or you can also learn from people who fail at something so I feel I have some good advice from a divorced guy. Pick Your Battles, and Your Battle Times Your spouse is not perfect. This you need to learn right up front. Your life will not be perfect. How you handle the reality of that is HUGE part of how your marriage will go. This doesn't mean you become a welcome mat for your spouse to walk over, but you do need to set realistic expectations. With this in mind, let some things roll off your back. Wait a day or two to see if it is still bugging you.

I went and saw Captain America Civil War, and I missed Batman Vs Superman. Why is everyone fighting? What is up with that? I also talk about "The new Normal" and why old people are grumpy. 

Today Dave shares his insights from a tip to Michigan where Toyota owners are not exactly welcome. Really? This is how you get me to purchase your car in the future by punishing me? Then my phone went into roaming…. Why is channel 2 in Japanese? You've got to watch the Netflix show Making a Murderer. It's super interesting and keep in mind: If you are ever have a legal problem that relies on common sense, YOU'RE SCREWED The interesting thing is some of the people in this documentary are not that intelligent, and yet THEY STILL GET TO VOTE.

It’s been 5 months since I’ve documented my life. I’m trying to do this without throwing people under the bus, pointing fingers, cause in the end – it doesn’t matter. I am now divorced. Pointing fingers will not change that, so I take the high road and wish the best for my (oh, good God – now SECOND) ex-wife. So I’m living alone. Me and a cat. Bernie. I’ve never been a cat person, but Bernie is OK. There are times when its nice to just have another heartbeat under the roof. I’m not looking for as pitty party. It is what it is. I feel we did what we could. We spend thousands on counseling. We knew what to do, but thanks to our childhoods, our experiences, we are wired the way we are, and we couldn’t change. As a teacher, I find this fact hard to believe. I believe in constant improvement. In the end, I guess a leopard can’t change it’s spots, and a Zebra can’t change it’s stripes. At that pint you either accept what you have (even if it’s not exactly what you want) or you move on. Things I’ve Learned So Far Ge

I ruined an Angel. I did. There was an Angel in my mother-in-laws bathroom. Its been there for years. One day while peeing, I looked up and noticed it had something (maybe a book) in its one hand, and in the other it had a candle with no wick. A candle with no wick, and the top of it slight indentation around it. It looked falic. Now there are certain words you don't use around your mother-in-law. You are still trying to help be happy that her daughter is married to you. That's the plan at least. But one word I typically do not use around my mother in law "Dildo." So on the way home I told my wife (trying to be weird, shocking and goofy) "Why is the Angel in the bathroom holding a Dildo?" To this I believe my wife just said ," David?... sigh..." My warped sense of humor that she found unique as we were dating has lost its magic. Never in my life would I think my wife (my trusted and most intimate partner) would tell her mother, "Dave thinks the Angel in the bathroom is holding a Dildo." Now for the record, I

Today I share a story about playing an outdoor festival with my band "The $ugar Daddies" on a July fourth weekend. We headlined this outdoor festival. The bad news is nobody had tested the power going to the flatbed truck along with the power so that by the time my band took the stage we needed the lights. The bad news as is soon as we turned them on, the power would trip a breaker. The solution? We had to play the indoor stage where there was no air conditioning and it was easy 95+ degrees with the giant holiday weekend crowd. It was one of those nights that everybody was hitting on all points and we just had that groove. Everything was just working.  Then it came time for me to do the Song "Texas Flood" by Stevie Ray Vaughn. This was a song that I just got to "Go Off" on and have fun. To this day, it was like being hit by lightning. I felt what I wanted to play from my toes and it just shot out my fingers. It was awesome. The crowd reacted. It was a feeling like no other. The band lasted a few more years,

This week I am home alone (feel free to put your hands on your face and make a face like Macaulay Culkin). I did something I hardly ever do. Nothing. I sat on the couch and petted my cat.  It is here where I learned why I love working on my next project. This might be reading or listening to a book, thinking of the next product I want to create, etc.  When I'm not thinking about things coming in the future, I think about the past.  I don't like to think about the past.  I sat there and reality let me know that my Dad was really gone. The cards I had been dealt, were gone. Game over.  I had a good old fashioned cry.  It felt good in the end. My cat was very confused. Looking Forward I prefer to look forward, and see a picture of an improved life. One where I help people. One where I leave the planet a better place.  I often fall asleep at my desk. I then get up, and go home. I bop till I drop in the immortal words of Rick Springsfield.  I'm OK with that.  Relaxation is over rated in my book. It

www.betterdave.com

Today I talk about the train wreck that was American Idol 13.

When I was 24, my mother passed away from her second (well technically third) heart attack. It was April 27, 1989. It had been 6 years since she had passed. As someone who talks in public for a living (teaching technology) it didn't seem like a stretch to take two of my passions (teaching and God) and put them together. At least that's what the Pastor's assistant thought when she asked me to sub for him and do a sermon titled, "What my Mother meant to me" on Mother's Day. This would be the sermon that would "Launch" my role as a pastor in training (a course that later went  away from this church and landed on the Internet). As this is Mother's day, I thought I would share it with you. The audio quality is very 1989 (originally recorded on a cassette deck)

Today I talk about turning 49, and making the same mistakes our parents made. The website is www.betterdave.com

I was very surprised when I went to the mall and saw there was no line to sit with Santa. Santa looked pretty good (probably an out of work financial consultant), and I thought "Let's get our picture taken." It would be interesting to see how things have changed since you sat on his lap and had a polaroid taken. We asked, not the elf, but some college kid (or Santa has put into place "business casual" as the new dress code). We were told, "Here are the packages." Packages? I just need a picture. What a lovely greedy con job that if they wanted to they could make $166 an hour, BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH. Before we can make $166 an hour ($9.73 profit on a 5 minute CD) you need to spend $20 on a "Package." That means Santa Will be making $357 an hour. Well here is what I say to you. SCREW YOU SANTA! SCREW YOU AND THE REINDEER YOU FLEW IN ON!

Today Dave talks about the disgust that Dave is feeling based on the current holiday season