Leadership Advantedge: Leadership | Influence | Talent | Neuroscience

Goldilocks is fast asleep when the bears return home. She found her perfect bed, not too big and not too soft. After eating her fill of the perfect porridge that wasnt too hot and wasn't too sweet. Goldilocks had tested the beds upstairs and fell into a deep sleep. The three bears were none too pleased with this breach of neighbourly etiquette and devour Goldilocks. Or, the Goldilocks jumps out of a window and is never seen again. Or Goldilocks explains how hungry and tired she was and befriend the forgiving bears and they all live happily ever after. Which version of the story do you believe for your life? The version usually shared with your kids probably has Mama, Papa and Baby Bear and Goldilocks escapes, is rescued from the woods by her mother and vows never to dare go in the woods again. It's the expectation that if you ever dare to find that sweet spot in your life, someone will come and immediately take it away from you for being undeserving and you can never go back to find it. And so you allow stres

Stress! Do you suffer? Of course you do. How much is caused by others and how much do you cause yourself? When you really think on this, you uncover some rather painful truths about stress. Most of it is caused by yourself. Like you. I like to place demands on my performance. Far greater demands than I would ever allow anybody else. Well perhaps my wife would debate that, but I don't demand so much from other people. Like you, I have a desire to leave something of a legacy. I want to achieve something bigger than myself. Something important. Even though we all know, that, whatever you achieve in this life, you only get one sentence when you die. Lying in a high-ceilinged waiting space, strapped to a bed with wires attached to my chest, head and arms. A drip in my vein. a pressure cuff around my arm. The room was painted white and reminded me of a clean warehouse or a big garage. My mind whirs into action and I continue my dive deep into the abyss of panic. Not about death and the hereafter. No. I know for sur

In this episode we are exploring how you can influence and motivate anyone or everyone. We're even going to learn some lessons from the President of the United States and just how he won the election. Jeff sat on a bar stool at the front of the room. He had no slides, no props, just sat and talked. Within minutes, he had everybody in the room on the edge of their seats eagerly nodding and ready to follow him wherever he went. None of us in the room had met Jeff before. In fact, none of us had a clue who he was. This quiet, unassuming man simply walked to the front and sitting on the bar stool began to speak and captivated everyone. Jeff shared why some adverts worked, and some fell flat. How some adverts tapped universal appeal, and others neglected to do so. The good news is that you don’t need to spend millions of dollars on creating a fantastic TV advert to influence people. The great news is that you can easily tap into the four universal appeals. And I'll come to those four universal appeals in a momen

The 15 inch blade flew perilously close to my left ear and the Chef's knife thumped into the door behind me. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that my days in his pastry kitchen were over. I couldn't possibly repeat the actual words, but if you think that Gordon Ramsey cusses, I can assure you that even he has a comparatively mild turn of phrase. Chef was right of course. I was useless in the pastry kitchen. I still am. My croissants could be used to break rocks in a quarry. My shortcrust could substitute for dumbell weights. It's simple biology. My hands are too warm. Heck, I didn't even want to be a pastry chef, but I had to master every part of cooking and I wanted to learn from this Chef. I had huge respect for his talent and would take almost anything for the chance to learn. But he wasn't very likeable. He was a conqueror style and a competent jerk. In the last Leadership AdvantEdge podcast I asked what your influencing style was - and if you missed that, you really ought to pop back and listen and do

What's Your Influencing Style? (And Why it Matters!)   The Captain's voice bing bonged into the silence and calmly informed us to assume the brace position. The stewardess asked us to sit down and brace. Forty seconds later everyone began scrambling to their feet. An old man blocked the aisle as he opened the overhead locker seeking his carry on. The stewardess asked him nicely, to forget his bag and move to the front of the plane. Minutes later more than half the passengers who were still on board were informed that they had just died in a fireball as the fuel tanks exploded. I resumed my seat for another round of this evacuation simulation to assess and train flight crew and emergency response to a forced landing at Manchester Airport. Officially, I was already dead, having been one of the unfortunates stuck in the aircraft behind that belligerent old man.   In times of emergency, a straightforward command approach to influencing and leading is, perhaps, the only sensible choice.   In the next

It's more than 40 years later, and businesses and homes are awash with computing devices. There's more computing power in my watch than on that entire top floor of equipment back in the early 70's. Much has changed... except it seems there remains a divide between the techies behind that glass wall and the business desk on the outside.   At the end of 2016, Barbara Dossetter of CIO Connect and I undertook a research project to better understand the current frustrations and challenges faced by both tech and business leaders. It's something I've been doing every 3 years or so that we can continue to pragmatically address the real issues faced in the workplace and not just spout empty Ivory Tower theories.   What is particularly shocking is that those essential glass walls from the 70's are metaphorically still in place today. It seems that Business Leaders are frustrated that the techies are still not aligning the systems to the needs of the business. In the meantime, Tech Leaders tell us that they are frustrat

When I was a young junior hotel manager, I knew it all. I knew everything about running a hotel, the restaurant, the kitchens, and the rooms. After all, I was studying for a degree in hotel management and had worked in every department. When a member of staff had a problem, I had a solution. When a guest had a question about something, I always had the answer. Not just any answer, I had the best answer! At the time I thought that I was a terrific leader. After all, everyone did what they were supposed to do and they did it quickly, or they faced the consequences, or I would yell louder until they got the message. I tell you, I knew every solution to every single questions, problem, difficulty. I was an excellent hotel manager and a total twat of a leader because I neglected to ask questions. Take a moment to think about one person in your life who was a great leader. Perhaps your boss, maybe a parent or an uncle. That individual who helped you grow and whom you willingly followed. I am completely certain that

"Leadership is influence" according to John C. Maxwell (Maxwell, 2010), and you can raise your level of influence with others. The Five Levels of Influence The higher your level of influence with someone, the easier it is to lead them. The 5 Levels express a way to understand and organise your leadership growth. Each of the levels build on the previous one and you can only progress to the next level once you have mastered the previous level. As you go higher it is easier to lead because your influence grows as well, as your leadership becomes more service oriented. Maxwell says it takes longer than you think to get to the top level—and many never do. At the same time, you can go down very quickly. But if you have developed the right kinds of relationships with others, they will support you through your missteps and fumbles. In this episode of the Leadership AdvantEdge, I'd like to begin by sharing about the five levels of Influence, and then suggest ways that you can raise your level of influence with the

In this episode you will recognise dysfunctions observed in your business, organisation or team and be able to remedy them relatively easily and quickly. But first, let me share a moment in my own life when my personal situational awareness was severely compromised: I was teetering on the edge of the abyss, the breeze felt like it was gently mocking and luring me over the cliff and down to the unwelcoming rocks beneath. It was so tempting to just let gravity take charge and give over to the fate of failure. I snapped out from the dangerous thinking and checked my wrist computer. I'd stayed too long hovering here, I needed to return to the surface before the poisonous nitrogen made me lose all perspective. I pressed a tiny blast of air into my jacket to lift me upward to the waiting boat.  Scuba diving is a tremendous example of having complete situational awareness Scuba diving is a tremendous example of having complete situational awareness: To enjoy the experience, you need to be trained and be complete

In almost every workshop I run, someone will raise their requirement for empirical evidence or “solid proof” before they will commit to applying the tools and techniques that will bring them benefit. We often desire more evidence that something will work before we are prepared to commit resources to it. Being willing to trust something without certainty is a red flag to the brain. Specifically, your anterior cingulate cortex is struggling to find an amenable memory connection to success and raising your cortisol levels preparing your body for avoidance. It's like being a kid in the playground Sometimes you have to let go to move forward. At other times, you simply have to believe that someone else will hold on tight. Holding onto the monkey bars for dear life. You have to be prepared to let go, in order to move forward. (Let Go and Gain Control - episode 16) It's what you believe might, could, maybe happen that is more or less likely to be harmful or waste something you consider to be more valuable, like

Ideas are the currency of the 21st century. The ability to communicate your ideas persuasively is the single greatest skill you need to accomplish your dreams Spreading your ideas in the 21st Century requires a 21st Century model of communication Let me introduce you to HUGS To Communicate with Impact we need to use HUGS Neuroscience research using brain scans reveals that stories stimulate our brains, enabling the speaker to connect with the audience and making it likely that the audience will agree with the speaker’s point of view. So what’s happening inside the brain? Once we know this, we can deliberately structure our communication to engage our audience and, stand a greater chance of helping them understand a new point of view. PFC Theatre Your Pre-Frontal Cortex is like a theatre stage where you direct the play. Your Pre-Frontal Cortex (PCF) is like a theatre stage. When you focus on one thing, it’s like an actor on stage. And we can keep 3 or 4 actors on stage at most at any one moment (consid

All through life, Alex has always felt that other people, schoolmates, friends and later colleagues, seemed to have it easier. Dad was never quite satisfied. It was hard to live up to his standards. Aunts and Uncles always knew a cousin who was better, brighter, richer, faster. Alex, like you and me, would like to earn more, be recognized and respected. To enjoy life and have fun. To simply succeed.  Is it really so difficult? Alex wants to provide for others. Family is very important and the good of society is too, but Alex feels stuck on a hamster wheel, running from paycheck to paycheck with some left over, but it's never enough. And let's face it; the job sucks most of the time. Alex's boss rarely has a good word. Sometimes, when Alex has achieved something out of the ordinary, the boss notices, but most of the time Alex feels like the effort is unnoticed. Alex was in a rut. Where's my MOJO? For the past couple of months, Alex's has been feeling drained, both emotionally and physically. Without that 'get

Have you ever wondered why it's so tough to influence change? Why is it, that with our very best intentions, we still find it difficult to make changes that we know would be good for us? It seems that it’s down to our inner elephant. I’ve borrowed the analogy used by University of Virginia psychologist Jonathan Haidt in his wonderful book The Happiness Hypothesis. Haidt says that our emotional side is an Elephant and our rational side is its Rider. Perched atop the Elephant, the Rider holds the reins and seems to be the leader. But the Rider’s control is precarious because the Rider is so small relative to the Elephant. Anytime the six-ton Elephant and the Rider disagree about which direction to go, the Rider is going to lose. He’s completely overmatched. Most of us are all too familiar with situations in which our Elephant overpowers our Rider You’ve experienced this if you’ve ever overeaten, slept in, said something you regretted, procrastinated, tried to quit smoking and failed, skipped the gym, gotten ang

You know that stress is bad for you. Yet you endure it every day. Modern life is stressful. Whether it's work, your boss, your spouse, your kids, your parents, driving or simply trying to fathom what to eat today. Your life is filled with stressors. So what can you do about it? Imagine you are visiting a theme park The best rides always have a long queue and you look with disdain at a group of ‘bullies’ who cut the line and push in front of you. Instantly your threat response fires up and you feel the urge to fight back, or perhaps give up and walk away from the spot you have been holding onto for the past hour. Most people say nothing externally, muttering to themselves about how unfair it is and what they would like to do. Yet meek and mild you keep your head down in case the ‘bullies’ turn on you. Hope – the positive expectation of future good Many people scoff at the notion of remaining optimistic in light of the “facts” presented daily in the news, at your workplace, in your bank balance. Suggesting that

Courage is the root of all freedom. It takes courage to dream big dreams… no matter your past, circumstances, or what others tell you. It takes courage to go after what matters. And when the going gets tough and obstacles crop up (as they always will), it takes courage to press on. Any time you go after what you really want, your doubts and fears will surface. That’s just part of the experience. You must ignore the voices that say “turn back” or “give up now” or “this is too hard.” It is courage that keeps you moving forward. It's easy to label ourselves with excuses. Especially if we believe everything (bad) that people have labelled us with in the past. So when you think about it, moving towards freedom requires daring, every step of the way. Daring to dream. Daring to begin. Daring to keep going, and stick with it until you reach your goal. And as you exercise your muscle of daring and courage, you will find freedom on the other side. And it’s the sweetness of that freedom that is worth the sacrifice i

There's something not quite right. Something just isn't sitting well in your gut. You can't quite place it exactly, but there is something wrong between the words and something else. Have you ever heard the adage that communication is only 7 percent verbal and 93 percent non-verbal? Well, much of it is a pernicious myth, but there is some truth in the idea of congruence between what you say and how you say it. And when we witness a lack of congruence (in our perception) it is often that 'gut' feel, that sense of unease that causes us to mistrust what we are hearing. We've all hidden something about ourselves from others. We're all tempted to "spin" to protect ourselves from some vulnerability or difficult situation. Sure, I have plenty of hidden parts, thank you. My recent intimate relationship with death has led to a great deal of mind spring-cleaning. In so doing, I've come across three common fears that cause us to hide some of our authenticity: rejection, exposure and vulnerability. Fear of being rejected

So the UK is getting divorced from Europe. Rather surprising with the way different age groups voted. Or rather, not surprising. Baby boomers and older and the older Gen X voting to leave, with the youngsters voting to remain. Not only has the vote divided the country in two about Europe, it's divided along generational lines too. Not another idiotic pundit spouting nonsense about maybe this or maybe that, but lets' bring this back to leadership and what it means for you in business? Back in 1975, even I was too young to vote. But, to me, it was pretty clear that the UK never really committed to the relationship with Europe because it kept sovereignty over its banking and currency. When one party is picking and choosing which parts of the full agreement it wants to keep, then there's going to be trouble ahead. The idea of a united Europe is bold. The intentions behind it are laudable and expectations were high that not only would this mean peace throughout Europe, it would be greater prosperity for all. Expec

In this week's episode, I'm asking you a tough question: Are you using your talent? If before that I asked you what you want from your life? It's possible that you would be just like the majority of my clients and tell me that you want to be happy and fulfilled. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And if you are using your talent, everyday, then that it going to be true. You will be happy and fulfilled. By the end of this podcast and article, you can honestly answer the questions I have at the end and decide if you want to leverage your talent in your current role. Let me start with a slightly different question: "Who's bag are you unpacking? A strange question you may think. What I'm really asking is, are you using your strengths and talents at work or are you doing something that is not your calling? Many of my individual coaching clients are going through a transition in their life. More than 70% are going through what we lovingly call a "mid-life crisis". And the saddest part about this is th

Welcome to this edition of the Leadership AdvantEdge Podcast and my purpose this week is to help you confidently make your next meeting or presentation perfect, and not be anxious about it. To do that, today, I'm going to share with you how to do a premortem on your meeting or presentation by asking yourself six questions. On the show notes, I'll share a PDF and a word template that you can download and use to plan your next presentation or meeting premortem and make it perfect. I have a secret to share with you. I have a fear of public speaking. Not because I don't like to be the centre of attention, I love that. No, it's because I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I want everything to be just so, well, perfect. And because of that, every time I have to speak in public, whether in a small group or a large auditorium, I get anxious. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot anxious. And I'm not alone. Glossophobia is the official term for a fear of public speaking. Most statistics I've seen show between 21% (Psychologica

Why is it so difficult to make yourself heard? When you're in IT, the chances are pretty high that you are quieter than your non-IT colleagues. You are probably more introverted than they are and you might even be regarded as being a little bit quiet. Nothing wrong with being quiet. It has worked for you pretty well. But there comes a time when you need to be sure that your voice is heard There are three things that you can do to make yourself heard Turn up the volume Slow Down Borrow my Confidence Have you ever noticed how a Brit makes themselves understood in a foreign country? That's right, they speak louder and enunciate more clearly. I said that they EEE NUN SEA ATE MORE CLEAR LEE. Do you recall the last time that you were in a busy restaurant and there was one person whose voice could be heard across the room? One of those loud, penetrating voices that cut through all the chatter You couldn’t help but listen in and then you simply could not tune them out. You tried to focus on the person you were dining