The Tom Barnard Show

Kinder can mean two things, not counting the egg. This may be less apparent in areas that aren't overwhelmingly German. It's the perfect opportunity for a pun, and Joe and Joan took that opportunity. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We admit we don't like R Kelly or his new single. Or the news. Or the weather. Really all we like is John Cleese. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

People often disparage Florida for having messed up criminals, but that's only because Alaska is so far away. We're in the age of the internet now and you can't hide up there any more. Back in the 60s, however, you could hide behind alcohol and psychedelics and still become a defining sound of the era. Jim Morrison did it and you can too. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Recently there were a bunch of killings across the globe, one particular one in 1980 people are still upset about, and about 50 million back in the 40s. Also R Kelly has gone crazy, and when you can't rely on R Kelly, you know life is going to be difficult. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Duke boys are renowned for their ability to get into and out of trouble. This skill has now transfered into real life. It shouldn't be surprising, because actors in general often seem very good at that. Perhaps suspiciously good. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer is going a little too fast, so why not take a little time to relax and enjoy a little Best Of.Clips Featuring: Maronzio Vance, Andy Kindler, Eddie Pepitone See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's the difference between a shark and a Shark? One lives in the water and the other has a lot of money. But for a brief period shark and Shark will collide, hopefully not literally. $50,000 will go to sharks regardless, and it will come from Sharks regardless, but which Shark? Shark. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's never a good sign when we have to bring in more chairs. Maybe not never, because Andy thrives on loudness. Not the regular Andy, the comedian one. Remember when Maronzio brought up the neurotic stereotype? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Maronzio has had a difficult life.  His appendix exploded, he was molested, and he had to live through the era of no genders.  Naturally, that means his comedy tends to come from a cynical place.  He prefers to call it "real". See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zoodles. They sound like a weird toy or something, but they're actually a weird food. People have been doing a lot of weird things lately, mostly as a reaction to Trump. Or having to fly. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We live in a world of unrest. Social media, the news, and raising children are all very good at keeping you from getting as much rest as you need. According to Dr. Dalton-Smith, there are different types of rest, and that's a part of the equation most people don't factor in. Being awake isn't the only thing you need a break from. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Phones these days. Always taking meth and doping. Wait, that's competitive cyclists. It's a romanticized thing, but as Daniel will tell you, you have to be a little disturbed to be willing to do what's necessary to win. The endurance test doesn't start nor end on the bike. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tony's still on the road and we're still listening to classic rock. Are we stuck in a rut? We're the right age, but we're not adulting so we should be immune. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are drugs, there are dogs, and there are drug dogs. We talk about all three. Like us, police dogs like doing their jobs. Also like us, they get paid in food. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Any parent in the know will tell you that raising boys and girls are different lives entirely.  Diane has the boys part all written down. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

More than 99% of all species that have ever existed are extinct. Or are they? For the most part, yes, but there are some surprises out there. Dozens, if not hundreds, of once-extinct species turned out to be not extinct. Oops. Forrest hopes to discover some more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The fakery keeps on coming as we bring up the topic of faked celebrity deaths. The faked deaths may also be fake. We're not sure. What's not fake is Connie, who wrote an equally-real book about hated co-workers, a topic nearly everyone can relate to. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we have Kristyn on the phone. Or do we? Probably, because you usually can't make a lot of money impersonating a Tom Barnard Show guest. At least not compared to a Hollywood exec. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every so often, an opportunity arises for an enterprising person to make way too much money. Once upon a time that opportunity was Sumner Redstone's media empire. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are two kinds of gold: literal gold, and Dwayne Johnson. Both are expensive, Dwayne a lot moreso. Unfortunately, you're about 150 years too late to get all the gold in California, but you can still buy some if you're into speculating. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices