Meg-john And Justin

I chatted with Sarah from Decrim Now about the laws around sex work and why it's an issue at the moment. We cover the current position (which is partial criminalisation), the Nordic Model (which criminalises the client), and full decriminalisation (which is what sex workers and many big unions and charities are calling for). As I mentioned in last week's show we would please encourage you to use this template to email your MP about it https://decrimnow.eaction.org.uk/nonordicmodel and if you have clout or belong to an organisation that does, please sign the open letter https://decrimnow.org.uk/open-letter-on-the-nordic-model/

Meg-John and I did a show about how we might slowly begin to open up again. How we might be able to make it easier for others. The importance of good consensual processes (and how we can pay attention to those). Here's the excellent infographic we talked about https://twitter.com/CounsellingKaz/status/1381200139839225856?s=19 Here's the link to the open letter put together by Decrim Now for the decriminalisation of sex work https://decrimnow.org.uk/open-letter-on-the-nordic-model/ Support Meg-John's Patreon https://www.patreon.com/MegJohnBarker and please sign up to the Culture Sex Relationships Patreon to help support the show https://www.patreon.com/CultureSexRelationships

This has been out and available on the Patreon feed for a few days now, so you've been denied the freshest of takes until now. If you want to hear future episodes early and in full, then please support the Patreon. I was delighted to be joined by Katherine Angel to chat about her latest book Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again. We had to rely on the zoom recording so sorry about the occasional blip in the background. We chatted about the main themes of her book: consent, desire, arousal, and vulnerability. We also chatted a little bit about my book Can We Talk About Consent and compared notes about how a more bottom up approach to understanding sex might be possible. We covered the topic of sexual violence but we didn't go into any detail. It was a really interesting and engrossing chat and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Katherine's book is on sale wherever you get your books. You can also buy direct from the publishers here where it's on sale atm. https://www.versobooks.com/books/3743-tomorrow-sex-

This week we do Freak Nasty: which is both a jam and a bop according to Eleanor. It's an extremely interesting sex jam which flips subjectivities and desire whilst also being extremely interested in non-reproductive forms of sexual activity. As with all the Culture Sex Relationships episodes, this is for over 18s. We swear in this one. In the extra version for Patrons there is a few more minutes chat about the song and also we watch the video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNVuhP8ehdo Hope you like it! Justin

Here are the questions and some of the links I mentioned "Everyone I know and everyone I follow on social media is very pro-vaccines and so I kind of go along with the crowd on this one, without really knowing much, something I’m not proud of and want to change. All of the discourse I see online is very loud and angry and - I’m sure it’s with good reason - but I struggle to build my own stance on it based on this. I was wondering if you could answer something along the lines of ‘How can we practice consent in discussing and making choices around vaccines whilst also protecting each other and especially the most vulnerable in our society?’ I know it’s a big and sensitive topic (especially at the moment) so totally okay if it’s not something you want to tackle right now but thought I’d put it out there just in case." Freedoms and Covid https://www.bishuk.com/relationships/freedoms-and-covid/ Herd immunity https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/herd-immunity-lockdowns-and-covid-19 Vaccine hesistancy https:

It’s a Sin Review This week I was delighted to be joined by Silva Neves to talk about It’s A Sin, which is a very popular mini-series on Channel 4 (available to watch here) https://www.channel4.com/programmes/its-a-sin What did we think about the show? As viewers and also our thoughts about the show from our perspectives: psychosexual therapist, sex and relationships educator. Here’s my sex education guide to the show for young people https://www.bishuk.com/your-call/a-sex-and-relationships-guide-to-its-a-sin/ You can get in touch with Silva at: www.silvaneves.co.uk If you want to train in clinical sexology: https://www.theinstituteofsexology.org/ Here are the rough notes that we followed for the show. HIV and homophobia (as I say at the beginning of the episode, we focused on homophobia because that was the focus of the show, but clearly there was also explicit biphobia and racism in the reporting of and handling of the pandemic in the 80s and now) Homophobia increased during the 80s, HIV weaponi

I was delighted to be joined today to chat with Meg-John and Alex about their excellent new workbook 'Hell Yeah Self Care!' We chatted about: The importance of self care Why people critique self care Self care as political and anti-capitalist Wellbeing giving self-care a bad name Comparing self-care with the network of care we discussed in the Hologram episode The capacity for doing care and self-care is unfairly distributed Trauma and self-care Reflective self care The kindness cradle of slowness, gentleness, being enough, and consent For the full discussion head to our Patreon where you can hear us chat for another 20 mins about: Somatic self-care Coronavirus, lockdowns and self care It’s really excellent so please do buy it and have a go. It’s playful and interesting whilst also being challenging and gentle. You can get it from most bookshops online, but here’s a nice indie queer publisher https://www.queerlit.co.uk/products/hell-yeah-self-care Justin

"Hey! I want to say thanks for all your work — it’s great and I’ve recommended this podcast to a bunch of mates. You’re really doing a service here and I’m incredibly appreciative. My question is kinda related to covid bubbles and covid horniness. Is it cool to ask someone you’re bubbling with if they want to have sex? Can you do this in a way which doesn’t mess up the delicate ecosystem of the bubble?/ leaves loads of room for them to say no? And in a way where you can maintain Vibes where you’re comfortable with hanging out whatever the outcome? It seems like there’s pros and cons but wondering what your take is and if you’ve any advice as to how to be really careful with consent around this question." [I realise I answered this question assuming the bubbles live together when they might now, but I think the answer still works] Here were my notes for the answer. Change is inevitable, we're always changing. Even thinking this causes a change. Delicate eco system, how? What processes do you have in place

This week we do one of the best Sex Jams of all time Sexual Healing, by the incredible Marvin Gaye. We love this song so much but have you ever read the lyrics? Marvin is really ill and should not be having sex with anyone, in our opinion. Anyway the song still rocks and the video is amazing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjlSiASsUIs If you would like to hear our commentary on the video check out the extended Patreon version of this episode at patreon.com/culturesexrelationships Pay whatever you can afford. Justin

In this episode I’m joined by my pal Sara, to review the Netflix show Bridgerton. Over 63 million people have watched it and apparently it’s the 5th most popular Netflix show of all time. We chatted about race briefly but we focussed on the relationships and sex themes, as the multi-racial casting and inadequate treatment of racism has been covered by others in more detail already. For example this piece https://gal-dem.com/bridgerton-racism-netflix-post-racial-britain/ and this one https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2020/12/10244616/bridgerton-review-blackness-representation We covered: Romance novels and sexist criticisms of their readership Romance tropes (fake relationship, big misunderstandings) Shame and purity norms Patriarchy How characters did or didn’t have agency in a system with such unjust and scarce capacity for freedom Masturbation and agency Painful first time sex tropes The hegemony of reproductive sex Sexual harms and violence vs legalistic readings of consent Hope you enjoy it! To hear th

This week I chatted with Cassie Thornton and her work 'The Hologram'. The Hologram is a viral, social technology to help us to give and receive peer to peer support for our health. Health here being the biopsychosocial model of health that we've covered in previous episodes. It's such an excellent, simple, and radical idea and is rooted in solidarity and community building. A workbook for how to create your own Hologram, and why it's necessary, has been published by Pluto Press https://www.plutobooks.com/9780745343327/the-hologram/ I read it a few weeks ago and found it really interesting and wanted you to know about it. Join us in our Patreon to hear the full version of this conversation (another 25 mins) where we talk about consent, friendships, masculinities, and self-care and podcasts. patreon.com/culturesexrelationships

Let's all watch the video to Last Christmas by Wham! together. It's definitely not a sex jam, but there's an *interesting* relationship dynamic in the video that we talk about. We explain how you can watch this along with us and when to pause, so we can chat about the various meaningful looks, the brooch, and how beautiful George is. https://youtu.be/E8gmARGvPlI Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/GoingMedieval patreon.com/Culturesexrelationships Have a Christmas! Justin and Eleanor.

This week I chatted with Elsie Whittington about consent education. We've both been working on this a lot recently so it was a mutual chat rather than an interview. We chatted about how consent should be embedded rather than being a discrete subject. The problems with binary and legalistic models of consent. How continuums and spectrums can open up the topic and allow for people to understand how it might work in real life scenarios. The importance of embodiment and agency and how structures (schools, unis, workplaces) can make consent harder. Elsie is a lecturer and youth worker at the Manchester Centre for Youth Studies, Manchester Metropolitan University. She is one of the leading voices in consent education as part of sexuality and relationship education for young people. Her excellent paper Rethinking consent with continuums: sex, ethics and young people, is published in the journal Sex Education by Routledge. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681811.2020.1840343 My book, Can We Talk Abo

First of all, there's an announcement about the show and why we've re-branded from 'Meg-John & Justin' to 'Culture Sex Relationships' Then we have episode 3 of Sex Jams! This one is about 2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls. We discuss consent, heterosex gender norms, courtly love, intimacy vs sex, intentional relationships. In the extended Patreon cut at patreon.com/culturesexrelationships we discuss how it's our first safer sex jam. Also, is it really a sex jam? Is it a Christmas song? Is Christmas sexy? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA5jsa1lR9c&list=OLAK5uy_nrV_8KYy40fx7MwiJuvbWEprzZEs2UfDY Hope you like it! Justin

In episode 2 we chat about One Minute Man, by Missy Eliot, featuring Ludacris and Trina. We discuss the narratives around premature ejaculation, desire, masculinities, objectification, and oral. Eleanor raps the Ludacris verse, which is amazing. Justin soberly reads out the Trina verse, which is perfunctory at best. The video for the 'dirty' version of the song is here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-CJXwQJZaM The official music video has all of the rude words taken out which also removes all meaning from the song and our podcast would make no sense, but that's here if you want to see Missy dancing and Ludacris doing something strange with bed pans https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XayUCLgxS5c

A new podcast as part of the Meg-John & Justin universe! 'Sex Jams' is where a sex educator and a sex historian discuss songs to do with sex. Justin and Eleanor this week start with George Michael's 'I Want Your Sex'. There is some singing and one of us is clearly better at that than the other. If you want to familiarise yourself with the song first, the full 'monogamy mix' is on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz-EBKHOfWc You're welcome.

This time on the podcast we attempted to normalise the tough feelings that most of us are having at this phase of the Covid-19 pandemic (going into Autumn/Fall 2020). Using the ‘Phases of Disaster’ model we framed our current moment as the long ‘disillusionment’ phase which may last months or even longer. We talked about why it’s really okay to not feel okay right now, and what we might do with our feelings of not-okayness. patreon.com/culturesexrelationships

Here's us chatting about consent in romantic relationships. We originally did this for our Patreon feed, so they've been able to listen to this for ages now. Lucky them! Join now from just $1.20 a month patreon.com/culturesexrelationships

This time on the podcast we discussed kindness. Here on our free feed you can listen to our overview of what kindness is and why it’s so important. Then please check out our Patreon to listen to part two of this conversation where we chatted more about how to be kind. patreon.com/culturesexrelationships

[Sorry the sound isn't as great as usual] Earpal Questions This time on the podcast we answered four listener questions. Here’s a few notes on the questions and our answers. They relate to (1) changing support dynamics in friendship, (2) navigating a reconnecting relationship with an ex, (3) dealing with intrusive thoughts, (4) unhelpful friend’s responses to a shift in gender of partner. patreon.com/culturesexrelationships