Dr Karin Love & Life

According to Family Systems theorists, our family of origin’s expectations for connectedness and separateness influence—and, at times, may impede—our ability to carve out and cultivate an independent identity and authentic sense of self. Clearly, our family of origin impacts us beyond childhood—in terms of our friendships, work relationships, and certainly, our romantic connections. Mary Beth Somich, LPC joins me to discuss the construct of enmeshment, how we can differentiate from an overly close family system, and why we absolutely need to in order to thrive in love and life! Mary Beth Somich Website: yourjourneythrough.com  Free Quiz: Is Your Family Enmeshed? https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5f16de5959b56b0026662110 Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

According to psychologist Albert Ellis, “People don’t just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.”  And, specifically, it’s irrational thinking that contributes to our “upsetness.” As the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), Ellis encourages us to identify our irrational beliefs, challenge them, and replace them with rational beliefs.  He asserts—and research substantiates—that by doing so, we can greatly reduce negative emotions.  Join me to learn another approach from cognitive therapy for taking charge of your thoughts!  I share my personal experience with the power of REBT—including a specific time when a hidden irrational belief was making me miserable and how I uncovered it, disputed it, and found my joy again! Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

If you’re single, your love life (or lack thereof) is fair game. Friends, family members, and even random strangers provide “solutions” to your “problem.” Or, they interrogate you, determined to uncover the hidden reason you aren’t coupled up—even if you’re perfectly content sans partner!  In this Love & Life bonus episode, Debbi Rice of Single and Amazing, Leslie Kaz of Single Girl Bliss, and I discuss the top 5 asinine comments single women hear. Join us for some single girl commiserating and lots of laughs! We’re here for you! Leslie Kaz Website: lesliekaz.com Debbi Rice Website: singleandamazing.com Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week!  To kick it off, I’ve invited Shani Silver, host of A Single Serving podcast, to share how she moved from complaining about dating to championing the single life!  According to Shani, “I came out of a hole and I know the way out of the hole. I want to tell other people that it’s possible.”  Here are a few more gems of wisdom from my conversation with Shani: ·        “Enjoying a single life—not as a consolation, but as ‘on par’ with life in partnership—is entirely possible. I know this because I’m living it.” ·        “It is 100% possible to love your single life and want a relationship at the same  time. Both of those things can coexist.” ·        “I decided that what was meant for me was going to connect with me. And it was not going to be because I was fighting to find it. Because I had fought to find it for a decade and I didn’t. So that method didn’t serve me.  Maybe just

When life doesn’t play out as planned, we experience loss—of expectations, hopes, and dreams.  And, as with every loss, we grieve.  But how do we grieve something we never had in the first place? Christina and Genet of The Radical Stepmoms podcast join me to discuss just that—grieving the life they thought they’d have, while still embracing and cherishing the life they do have.  At some point (or many points!) in life, we all find ourselves stepping into roles and realities we didn’t anticipate.  Join us to learn strategies for navigating these uncharted waters. Radical Stepmoms Website: radicalstepmomspodcast.com Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

I often get asked, “What we should be looking for when dating?  Which qualities indicate a person will be a committed, solid, loving partner?”  Recently, I came across a framework by psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Marmer describing emotional maturity.  As I examined the model, I was struck by how the characteristics of maturity mirror those qualities we need in a romantic partner—if we’re hoping for a lasting, loving, secure connection.  Dan joins me to discuss these 5 traits and how we’ve experienced them—and in past relationships, not experienced them!  We wrap up the episode answering a listener’s question about how to differentiate between her intuition and inner critic. Citation: https://www.prageru.com/video/its-time-to-grow-up/ Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A!  In this episode, I answer two questions I recently received.  One listener asks how she can possibly maintain hope for finding love; she’s over 40 and feeling demoralized and worries she’ll never meet her person.  Another listener wonders if she can salvage a relationship that’s gone off course.  After seeing a guy for a couple months, she asked the proverbial, “What are we?” question.  They argued and now he’s stonewalling her.  She asks me, “What can I do to get him back?  I really like him!”  I wrap up the episode by sharing details on how to join the Love & Life book club and Love & Life support groups I’m rolling out this fall! Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

We are kicking season 5 off with Dr. Duana Welch to discuss attachment styles and dating!  Have you ever experienced the following? ·        You felt an initial spark, but got turned off when he/she came on too strong. ·        Someone ghosted you after what you thought was the beginning of a very happy relationship. ·        You found yourself bored by someone who is stable and kind. If so, your attachment style may have played a part! According to developmental psychologists, the bond you form with your primary caregiver in childhood sets the tone for the way you connect to others in adulthood.  Dr. Duana Welch, author of Love Factually: Attachment Style Dating Made Easier, explains the difference between Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant attachment and the pros and cons of each—spoiler alert, there are positives to anxious attachment!—along with how an understanding of our attachment style can hel

We’ve all heard that journaling can be therapeutic.  But how does writing down our thoughts and feelings heal our emotional wounds?  In this episode, we explore all this and more with Stacy Brookman of “Life Story Laboratory.” Stacy shares how writing helps us process our experiences, recover from trauma, and take back our power!  Stacy explains how we can discover our life’s “theme” and reframe it if it’s not working for us.  She encourages us to identify any lies we’re telling ourselves and replace them with the truth—that we’re strong, capable, and tenacious!  According to psych research, writing fosters resilience and cultivates confidence.  Join us to learn how to implement this powerful practice in your life! Website: loveandlifemedia.com Citations: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/figure/10.1080/10503300701691664?scroll=top&needAccess=true https://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/Putting-Feelings-Into-Words-Produces-8047 https://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2017/for-worriers-ex

We’re celebrating Love & Life’s 100th episode! And, as a thank you to our Love & Life family, we’ve made this episode all about what you love most! We start by discussing the inspiration behind your three favorite Instagram posts—the mindset shifts that helped me remain hopeful and positive despite multiple heartbreaks over my MANY years of dating. We then break down a powerful approach from cognitive therapy to sustainably level up our emotional well being—even during the most painful and challenging times. I then answer 3 listeners’ questions and announce the Love & Life 100th Episode Celebration Giveaway! And the best part? Everyone’s a winner! Website: loveandlifemedia.com 

Sunday, July 26, 2020 is the 12th annual National Auntie’s Day—a day for celebrating the special bond between women and their nieces and nephews.  It’s an opportunity to highlight the unique and important contribution aunts make to the development of the children in their lives.  I’m an aunt and so are many of you, so I’m pleased to welcome the founder of Auntie’s Day and author of Otherhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness, Melanie Notkin, to the program!  In our conversation, Melanie and I discuss: ·        How women of The Otherhood manage their ongoing and currently unmet desire for marriage and family. ·        The question almost every woman of The Otherhood has asked herself, “Should I settle for a ‘good enough’ guy in order to have children?” ·        How to handle invasive and insensitive questions/comments about your life e.g. “You must have focused too much on your ca

It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A! The first listener asks, “When the guy I’m seeing seems to ‘get quieter’ than he was before, should I pull back?” Another listener wonders, “Why would a man lie about his feelings?” And finally, we delve into the reality that there’s no such thing as a “conflict free” marriage. In fact, according to research by the Gottman Institute, 69% of problems in a relationship will not be solved. A listener asks me specifically, “How do you and your husband agree to disagree? How do you maintain a healthy relationship yet still disagree with each other?” Dan joins me to share how we’ve navigated conflict and challenges in our marriage.

If you’ve been brokenhearted—and, most of us have—you know how excruciatingly painful it is. In fact, brain imaging shows us that the same neural systems involved in physical pain are involved in emotional pain i.e. the angst of a broken heart isn’t so dissimilar from the pain of a broken bone. And frankly, many of us would acknowledge that it feels way worse! So here’s some help for the broken-hearted!  In this episode, I share the science of heartbreak—spoiler alert:  neurologically speaking, you’re essentially addicted to your ex—along with three tangible strategies to help you move past the one who wasn’t right for you, so as to find the one who is!Sources:https://divorce.lovetoknow.com/Rates_of_Divorce_for_Adultery_and_Infidelity#:~:text=While%20adultery%20is%20no%20longer,20%2D40%20percent%20of%20divorces.https://signalscv.com/2019/11/research-how-many-marriages-end-in-divorce-because-of-infidelity/#:~:text=40%25%20of%20adults%20who%20have,are%20currently%20separated%20or%20divorced.&text=In%20contr

What would you do if your partner strayed? Would you leave immediately or try to forgive the betrayal and move on? Could trust ever be rebuilt? Would the indiscretion haunt you forever? When vows have been broken, is a relationship ever salvageable? Marriage and family therapist, Jennifer Lehr, works with couples struggling to repair their relationships post infidelity. The good news—restoration is possible. The better news—it takes a lot of work. How is work BETTER news? Because, as Jennifer explains and the research substantiates, in-depth therapeutic work allows many couples to emerge from counseling stronger, more intimately connected, and happier in their marriages. Yes, infidelity can have a silver lining! Join us to learn:· How to rebuild trust and intimacy after betrayal.· Strategies for therapy when one partner wants to work on the relationship and the other doesn't.· The Two-Person System model and why it’s important in relationships and marriage.· Red flags and yell

A few years ago, I met a young woman in her late twenties. As we began chatting, she shared she was going through a divorce. Her ex was addicted to OxyContin—a prescription pain medication. Fast forward a few years, and I learned some startling and terrifying facts—that in 2014, my home state of Ohio led the nation in deaths from heroin overdoses and in 2016, it earned this same distinction from opioid overdoses. I had no idea what was going on, but I suspected that diagnostic inflation and Big Pharma played a role. (For more on why I came to this conclusion, please listen to my interview with Dr. Allen Frances in episode 22). So, when I came across Sam Quinones’ book, Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic, I knew I wanted to invite him to the program to help us understand how the Heartland became America’s hotspot of heroin and opioid addiction. In our conversation, Sam describes:· The “perfect storm” that moved heroin from the fringe to the suburbs.· How a letter to the Ne

One topic I haven’t covered extensively is sex. So, when life coach Laurie Gerber reached out requesting to appear on the show to share her slightly controversial philosophy about sex, I figured it was high time we delve into this important element of love and life! Laurie specializes in marriage and relationship coaching and has appeared on Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and the TODAY show. Join us to learn:· Her philosophy on sex which rekindled the spark in her 20+ year marriage.· How Laurie’s feminist ideology impacted her sex life.· The mantras that eroded the romance in her marriage.· Lies we tell ourselves which impede our goals and dreams.· Questions to ask yourself when you’re dating with purpose.· The critical difference between dating expectations and standards.No matter what your relationship status—single, dating exclusively, or married—Laurie’s candid account and wise counsel will inform and inspire you!Laurie's special offer for Love & Life listeners:Get Starte

I get a LOT of questions about how to recover from a relationship with a narcissist. So this topic is one I’ve wanted to address for quite a while. I’m so pleased to welcome psychologist Dr. Annie Kaszina to the program to share not only her professional expertise, but also her personal journey of marrying and then divorcing a narcissist. Dr. Kaszina delves into:· How strong, independent, accomplished women fall in love with and stay with narcs.· The red flags narcissists wave—despite their best efforts to dupe you!· Dr. Annie’s suggestion for discovering if the person you’re dating has narcissistic tendencies.· Why pacing yourself in the early days of a relationship is imperative!· The power of self-knowledge as it relates to narcs.· How to take back control after being with a narcissist.· Co-parenting when your ex is a narcissist.· The identity some women take on when they’ve been with a narc.In this episode, as in her book, Do You Choose Your Dog Mor

Wouldn’t it be great if science could give us the straight facts on dating? Well actually, it does! When on the dating scene herself, psychologist Dr. Duana Welch, looked to psych research for guidance. She shares all she learned in her blog, Love Science, and in her Love Factually book series. Join us as we discuss:· Why men get so excited early in a relationship, but often lose interest just as quickly.· The different ways men and women experience situationships.· How sex causes you to bond—even when it’s just friends with benefits.· How to figure out if you’re too picky!· A powerful strategy if you’ve lost hope in love.· Why women love a man with a plan (and what this means for us when dating!)· What happens when men lose interest—spoiler alert, even they don’t know why!· How to present yourself as a “high status” woman—and why this is imperative when dating (also, it’s NOT about being arrogant or snooty!)· The different “mating psychology” of

We all want a great marriage, but how do we cultivate and maintain an extraordinary connection in the midst of life’s stressors and challenges? For over 30 years, Dr. Terri Orbuch has researched the habits and practices of happy couples (and unhappy ones) in her landmark National Institutes of Health (NIH) study. She joins me to discuss her book, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, in which she shares simple, practical strategies from her longitudinal study including:- How to maintain realistic expectations without settling.- The no. 1 problem in marriages.- How happy couples communicate vs. unhappy couples.- The need men have which, when met, predicts they’ll be happy and content in their marriage—and no, we’re not talking about sex!- What factors make for the strongest marriages.- How to “trick your brain” to reignite the spark in your marriage.- The no. 1 topic daters should not discuss on dates!I put it this way on Instagram, “Marriage is great, but only if it’s a great marriage!” Jo

We’re kicking off Season 4 with a sneak peek into the audio version of my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right, which launches in just a few weeks! You’re the first to hear it! I also discuss my inspiration for writing the book i.e. the incessant single shaming comments I received, irrational explanations for my single status, and my frustration with the standard dating/relationship self-help messages. I conclude the episode with a Love Smarter, Not Harder Q&A: In the beginning of a relationship, when we’re just getting to know each other, is it rigid and unreasonable to expect a guy to call when he says he will?