Dr Karin Love & Life

After posting episodes 265 and 266, Karin and I continue to see a need to continue the discussion about cheating. So today we continue our cheating series by responding additional concerns and discuss how to start the healing process. Specifically, we address: What's the first step in the healing process? How to navigate forgiveness and grief What to do if children are involved What rebuilding trust looks like after betrayal Join us for this third segment in our series on cheating. And please, let us know if you have any questions! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

After posting episode 265, Elliott and I received additional questions about infidelity, so we wanted to continue our cheating series by responding to these concerns. Specifically, we address: What exactly is cheating? Is flirting too much a violation? What about porn? Connecting with an old flame on Facebook? Close friendships with coworkers? What are the first steps to take if one of us has broken our vows? Can we ever rebuild trust? What if the betrayer won’t acknowledge the indiscretion? How can we ever forgive? When is separation necessary? What can we do when we’re single to prepare ourselves for a strong marriage—one in which neither partner is likely to stray? Spoiler alert: there’s actually a LOT we can do when we’re single to set ourselves up for an affair-proof future marriage! Join us for this second segment in our series on cheating. And please, let us know if you have any questions! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered

Just Wear the Mask.  It’s Not a Big Deal! Or, is It? A Developmental Psychologist’s Concerns Regarding Masks on Children—and All of Us! We’re bringing you another segment of our “Love & Life:  Let’s Talk About It” series.  These are topics that can be hard to broach and in some cases, conversations around these issues have been censored—either by social media platforms, or by social agreement—because,”Let’s not talk about it. We’ll just get into a fight.”  But avoiding subjects to preserve harmony doesn’t foster true intimacy—and because Elliott and I are all about deep, meaningful, intimate relationships, we’re going to speak honestly about those issues which are most important to us.  Today’s “Love and Life:  Let’s Talk About It!” topic? Masks. Over the past several years of the pandemic, masks have become an insanely contentious topic. The debate has waged for 3, almost 4 years now, so I’m sure you have your opinion and I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind.  I just want to bring up some relevan

No one walks down the aisle on their wedding day expecting to cheat on their spouse. But sadly, it happens all too often.  What happens? Why do couples stray? Elliott and I discuss 4 types of affairs (Pittman) and 3 reasons why they happen (Balswick & Balswick).  Join us for part 1 in our series on infidelity. Learn how to protect your marriage from an affair and/or recover from the pain if infidelity has already occurred.  Citation: https://hackspirit.com/infidelity-statistics/ Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

We’ve all heard it a million times—you are what you eat. And, of course it’s true—every cell in our body relies on and is sustained by the nutrients we ingest. So on a physical level, this reality is obvious.  But, the more research I do, the more I realize how much this adage—you are what you eat—pertains to our mental health as well.  In some ways, I think about all the work I’ve done as a psychologist—as many of you know, I’ve found so much power in cognitive techniques. When we take charge of our thoughts, we take charge of our lives—and, I absolutely stand by cognitive strategies. More importantly though, research substantiates the effectiveness of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), as we’ve discussed in many episodes of Love & Life.  That being said, how much easier is it for us to take charge of our thoughts if we’re fueling our bodies in a way that supports our thinking and emotions? That’s why Elliott and I focus on MIND and BODY and SPIRIT. Today’s episode is part 2 of my conversation with Dr.

About a year ago, I started hearing a term that was new to me—seed oils. Apparently, they’re everywhere—in virtually all processed foods. And, recent research links them to horrible health outcomes. So, I did a lot of reading and found that much of what I’d understood about dietary fats was completely off base. For years, I’d been making food choices I thought were healthy but in fact, they were the exact opposite of nutritious! One book that deeply impacted me—and Dan, too, because I immediately started cooking with different ingredients—was The FatBurn Fix by Dr. Cate Shanahan. I reached out to her to see if she’d be willing to appear on the program. Today, Dr. Shanahan joins us to unpack the deleterious effects of industrial seed oils—along with the remarkable benefits of eliminating them from our diets! Stay tuned for Part 2, which releases next week! Dr. Cate Shanahan Website: http://drcate.com/ Books: https://drcate.com/books/  Instagram: @drcateshanahan Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Webs

We’re in the midst of a mental health war. Over the last 50 years, we’ve raised awareness and developed abundant treatment options, yet Americans’ rates of depression and anxiety continue to skyrocket (Whitaker, 2015). Today, Elliott and I discuss my reflections on his recent messages about the epidemics of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and addiction. We conceptualize the current mental health landscape as a war for two reasons:  (1) because so many Americans battle psychological concerns and (2) professionals are in the midst of deeply contentious disputes regarding how to best treat clients’ emotional distress. Pharmaceutical corporations and many psychiatrists view this issue through a medical model i.e. patients are diagnosed with psychiatric illnesses and are prescribed pills to manage symptoms. But despite an exponential increase in the use of psychotropic medications, the number of Americans filing disability claims due to mental conditions has tripled over the last two decades (Whitaker, 2015).

Elliott’s mental health series continues with a message about addiction. Sadly, addictions have touched us all—whether we’ve struggled ourselves or we’ve endured the pain of watching a loved one wrestle with the grip of addiction. Elliott shares an understanding of addiction through a Biblical lens. He tackles questions surrounding the grip of addiction and the hope and healing we can find in Christ. Download Elliott’s PowerPoint here: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/6pku0usfyr8cz8enz2dyi/Altering-Addictions.pptx?rlkey=t1p3y55dyo1gjhdvzzs4q82l1&dl=0 Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

Depression. No one can escape it. Yes, some of us struggle more than others, but sadness, despondency, and despair are part of life. Of course, we’d prefer to skip over the valleys. We’d rather stay on the mountaintops but that’s not how life works. Can we accept depression as a normal part of the human condition? Does despondency serve a purpose—other than making us miserable?  What does Scripture tell us about depression? One of the reasons Elliott and I take issue with the “disease model” of mental health and the tendency to medicalize our emotions is that it assumes that depression and anxiety are bad. And of course, they’re uncomfortable and undesirable. But don’t our emotions provide us with important information? Might we benefit from paying attention to what our feelings are trying to tell us, as opposed to masking them and covering them up with a drug? Elliott discusses all this and much more in this week’s message, “Diminishing Depression.” Download Elliott’s PowerPoint here: https://www.

Abating - something becomes smaller and less intense. Did you know we are dealing with an epidemic of loneliness in our culture today? More than ever people are asserting feelings of loneliness in their lives.  Today we continue Pastor Elliott’s series on mental health on the topic of loneliness. He covers the following topics: - What is loneliness? - How we emotionally and physically respond to it - 3 ways we are most vulnerable to loneliness - 3 ways to abate loneliness Thank you for listening! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

Do you struggle with anxiety? Have you felt disempowered on how to address it in your life? In today’s episode Elliott shares a presentation he gave on the topic of anxiety and how we can proactively attack it with action!  Elliott discusses the following: The Top 8 Causes of Anxiety Mental and Physical Manifestations  The Root of Anxiety And Steps to Overcome Anxiety Through: Situational Awareness, Positive Self-Talk, Physiological Regulation, and Sleep Download Pastor Elliott’s Power Point Presentation: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/jzozv331w2s96z9n51tqy/Attacking-Anxiety-with-Action-7.23.23.pptx?rlkey=fum0rh3sojqita7rg59o2azv9&dl=0  Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

How can we remain empowered when we’ve been on the dating scene for SO long? As you know, I spent 27 years dating—from age 15 until I married at 42. It can be exhausting, demoralizing, and heartbreaking. How then, do we remain happy, hopeful, and positive on our journey to love? Today’s guest, Roshini Rajkumar, also dated for many years before meeting her now husband. Fun fact: they fell in love at first sight! Here's some more about Roshini. Roshini Rajkumar is a crisis strategist, C-suite advisor, and media insider. Core clients include Fortune 500 brands and their leaders. In her public life, Roshini is a media commentator and host of The Crisis Files podcast, which is also in pitch phase as a television pilot. She draws upon 25 years on air—first as a TV reporter. Then after starting her business in 2006, as host of REAL Talk with Roshini, which aired Sundays on WCCO Radio from 2012 through 2021.  Roshini shares the 7 important steps she discovered as she navigated relationships in her twenties a

According to a recent KFF poll, 77% of women would like birth control pills to be available without a prescription—assuming they’re safe and effective. But are they? Effective? Okay. But, safe? Not so much. Among the many side effects of using hormonal birth control is an increased risk of breast cancer. According to a study by Dr. Marilyn Althuis of the University of Maryland, “Women under 35 years old who are using contraceptive drugs have a 91% higher risk for developing breast cancer than women who use hormone-free contraception.” And sadly, the risk of breast cancer is just the tip of the iceberg! Dr. Leah Gordon specializes in helping women “break up with birth control” and balance their hormones naturally which allows them to optimize their fertility to prepare for pregnancy, if that’s their goal. Join us to hear why a switch from hormonal birth control—including, The Pill, progestin-laced IUDs, vaginal rings, implants, and injections—will help you take charge of your emotional health and level

Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson is back to continue our series on Attachment Styles. This week we unpack Avoidant Attachment and consider the question, “Is it actually possible to have a relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style?” Specifically, we address: Why avoidant men may initially appear very excited about the relationship and interested in commitment, but then later, they pull away. The internal struggle of Avoidant Attachment. The Pursuer-Distancer cycle—if you’ve dated someone with an Avoidant Attachment style, you’ve likely experienced this, especially if you have an Anxious Attachment style. When he marries you, but is still avoidant! Why it’s imperative to maintain your self-respect—and how to do so! Ways to bring up concerns about emotional intimacy with an avoidant partner. How to figure out if his Avoidant Attachment is something you can work with or if he’s completely emotionally unavailable. How to determine if you’re experiencing Avoidant Attachment yourself

Join us today as we revisit Love & Life's most popular episode to date: Anxious Attachment on Dating and Relationships with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 165 I hear this question from women in my community all the time—“I have an anxious attachment style. Will I ever be able to be in a secure relationship?” To address this concern, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into anxious attachment and how it impacts dating and relationships. Specifically, we discuss: Anxious attachment and our desire for intimacy. Trauma bonds and anxious attachment. When feeling anxiety in a relationship is a GOOD thing! How the hookup culture has impacted attachment. Masculine and feminine energy as they relate to attachment. Elliott shares insights from his 30 years of working with clients and couples. Join us to gain a greater understanding of anxious attachment and how it may influence your dating patterns and relationship dynamics. Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://lovea

We recently received a question from a listener in our community: “What is spiritual abuse in and outside of a Christian context and how do individuals heal from it?” The timing was perfect as Elliott and I had planned on continuing our woundedness series with an episode devoted to the spiritual wound. Elliott and I discuss 3 types of spiritual abuse: Complete absence of spiritual opportunity.  Involvement in faith-based communities that operate out of shame, fear, and abuse. Spiritual authorities (parents, teachers, pastors, spouses, and others) who use their position as a tool to foster spiritual abuse. We end the episode with some practical steps and ways to move forward from abuse into healing! Citation: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/01/31/are-religious-people-happier-healthier-our-new-global-study-explores-this-question/ Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin |

Have you ever dated a narcissist? Have you been in a relationship with someone so cold and cruel, you’re pretty sure he/she could be diagnosed as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Then again, maybe he was just a bad guy! Either way, this episode is for you! Elliott and I discuss the following: The prevalence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The DSM criteria for NPD. Narcissism as a result of trauma. Attachment Style and NPD. Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Why you’re so attracted to narcissists. How to STOP being attracted to narcissists! Join us to delve into the points above—and more!—on the narcissistic wound. Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

We’re back for part 2 of our conversation with Dr. Duana Welch to tackle the frustrating reality so many women experience—they want to fall for a good guy, but struggle to feel the sparks and attraction. Dr. Welch calls this the “Nice Guy, but Syndrome” because she hears this all too often, “He’s a nice guy, but . . .” In part 2 we cover the following: Do you really have an Anxious Attachment style or do you need to alter some fundamental dating strategies? Why we’re attracted to bad boys and what we can do about it! How fear causes us to give too much too soon—which exacerbates our anxiety and reduces his capacity to be drawn to us. Tangible steps to take to build attraction to the nice guy! How Dr. Welch met her “nice guy” husband online in a few short months. If you’re suffering from “Nice Guy, But . . . Syndrome,” help is here! Join us to learn how to fall for the stayers, and sidestep the players! Dr. Duana Welch Website: http://lovesciencemedia.com  Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson W

Are you attracted to bad boys? Do you try to fall for the nice guys but end up feeling . . . meh? If so, this episode is for you! Love & Life fan favorite, Dr. Duana Welch, is back to share the science based reasons you can’t get enough of emotionally unavailable men, yet you struggle to be attracted to men you know would be good for you. Dr. Welch shares: Why women are so often drawn to bad boys. The personality trait a partner CANNOT have if you want a healthy relationship. How your attachment style impacts your ability to attract—and be attracted to—stable, secure partners. How to avoid The Dark Triad i.e. traits of abusive partners which are incredibly resistant to change. The biggest predictor as to whether or not a man will cheat on you. Why the notion of “Mating Centrism” is crucial to comprehend and why your search for love will be incredibly difficult until you understand this! Join us for a lively conversation grounded in Dr. Welch’s command of the psych research and Elliott’s exte

Money and relationships intersect on myriad levels. Our behavior around finances reflects our beliefs, values, and priorities—and, the same could be said about our behavior around relationships! Certified Financial Consultant Veronica Grant joins Elliott and me to discuss dating, relationships, and money. As Veronica puts it, “We don’t want to bring bank statements to a first date, but it’s important to gather information about financial choices and habits early on to be sure your values align in this all important domain.  Moreover, according to research in the journal, Family Relations, couples’ arguments regarding finances are most predictive of divorce, so it’s critical we learn about each other’s spending patterns before we walk down the aisle! Specifically, Veronica, Elliott, and I delve into: Non-invasive questions to ask—even on a first date!—that will give you a sense of your date’s financial choices and habits.  What to do if you realize you’re not aligned on money matters. Money and power d