Dr Karin Love & Life

Money and relationships intersect on myriad levels. Our behavior around finances reflects our beliefs, values, and priorities—and, the same could be said about our behavior around relationships! Certified Financial Consultant Veronica Grant joins Elliott and me to discuss dating, relationships, and money. As Veronica puts it, “We don’t want to bring bank statements to a first date, but it’s important to gather information about financial choices and habits early on to be sure your values align in this all important domain.  Moreover, according to research in the journal, Family Relations, couples’ arguments regarding finances are most predictive of divorce, so it’s critical we learn about each other’s spending patterns before we walk down the aisle! Specifically, Veronica, Elliott, and I delve into: Non-invasive questions to ask—even on a first date!—that will give you a sense of your date’s financial choices and habits.  What to do if you realize you’re not aligned on money matters. Money and power d

Power dynamics are an inherent element of all relationships. According to the “Law of Least Interest,” the person who is least interested in maintaining the relationship holds the majority of the power. Naturally, this principle impacts dating and marriage. How can we ensure our power balance remains equitable?  What do we do when we realize we lack power in our partnership?  This week we answer these questions and more!  Elliott provides tangible steps for ensuring power equity in your relationship—techniques which have helped hundreds of couples move through power plays to reestablish balance and harmony. Join us for a deep dive into this critical concern—especially if you’ve recognized your partner has all the power! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_least_interest#:~:text=The%20Principle%20of%20Least%20Interest,the%20balance%20of%20power%20tilts. Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagra

In today’s world of screens and scrolling, many of us find ourselves struggling to concentrate and focus. In recent years, more and more Americans have received diagnoses of ADHD. Such diagnoses may often present unique challenges to dating and relating. Help is here! Elliott has been energetic since birth—our mom even claims he was more active in the womb!

According to the Institute of Family Studies, 20% of married men and 13% of married women have admitted to cheating on their spouse. For many couples, infidelity destroys their marriage—40% of adults who have committed adultery are now divorced compared to 17% of spouses who have never cheated. But affairs don’t always end marriages and in today’s episode, Jill and Mark Savage share how they navigated the valley of infidelity and emerged with a deeper intimacy and connection. As Mark puts it, “We now have the marriage we’d always dreamed of.” Jill and Mark speak specifically to these themes and questions: How we often misuse our strengths in marriage. The trap of “parenting” your spouse. The delicate balance of control—when one spouse dominates and the other allows it. Can strong, independent women enjoy traditional marriage roles? Owning our part in marital dysfunction. How those with Avoidant Attachment and Anxious Attachment can forge strong relationships. How to “recover” from your attachment s

What is a woman? In the last several years, this question—which once would have seemed perfectly obvious to anyone—has become both perplexing and divisive. Feminist Kara Dansky joins Love & Life for our first “Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It!” episode. We’re committed to open conversations—even about subjects that are currently considered taboo. Kara and I consider the following questions: What is gender vs. sex? Does “gender identity” exist? How should we compassionately respond to gender dysphoria? Are children truly more likely to commit suicide if they aren’t permitted to transition or are suicide rates higher post transitioning? In some cases, do men claim a trans identity in order to access women’s spaces? What about men in women’s sports? Is the trans movement homophobic?  Does the trans movement dehumanize women? Is the trans movement related to transhumanism? What is a woman? We invite you to join us as we tackle this momentous subject. We share our thoughts with open

We pick up our Anderson Family Roundtable by sharing more on birth order—how we’ve seen it impact our personalities and also, how it’s influenced our choice of friends and significant others. We also revisit sibling woundedness—the intensity of the wounds but also, the hope and healing possible! Specifically, we explore: The birth order of virtually all Elliott’s best friends. The birth order of my best friends. The birth order of my boyfriends—but how this pattern was broken with Dan and why that’s a good thing!  Warren’s thoughts on friendships as an oldest child. The sibling wounds we inflicted on each other and how we healed. Redemption in sibling connections. You’ll hear how Elliott morphed from problem child to pastor! And, I recount two profound memories where I felt affirmed by each of my brothers. Spoiler alert, I get emotional describing a time that Elliott started being nice to me (finally!) in middle school. Sponsor: Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife Use code LOVEL

Welcome to a “behind the scenes” episode of Love & Life! Elliott and I loop in our older brother, Warren, to discuss the influence of our sibling relationships on our development. We begin by delving into how birth order impacts our personality traits. With 3 kids in our family we’ve had fun analyzing each other over the years and we do, in fact, possess many of the stereotypical traits of oldests, middles, and youngests. Elliott brings up a recent time where I was in charge of a gig we played together—spoiler alert:  babies aren’t typically the best leaders! We discuss Dr. Kevin Leman’s seminal work, The Birth Order Book:  Why You Are the Way You Are. Warren explains that it’s “lonely at the top” and Elliott reminds him how bossy he is! We examine our marriages in light of our spouses’ birth orders—which dynamics work well and which dynamics prove challenging. Join us for a behind the scenes look at Anderson sibling dynamics! We hope our conversation provides a touchstone for you as you analyze how your

When we consider our childhood, we typically think about our parents’ influence on our development. But what about our brothers and sisters? Recent research in developmental psychology suggests we’ve been overlooking the profound impact our siblings have on us—not only on our childhood experiences, but also our adult relationships. As siblings ourselves, Elliott and I have lots to say about this topic! We discuss the unique bond brothers and sisters share and the woundedness that can occur due to sibling rivalry and competition. And, we consider several research studies along with Jeff Kluger’s book, The Sibling Effect. Finally, Elliott offers recommendations for how to heal from sibling wounds and how to approach your brother or sister to discuss the pain in efforts to move toward reconciliation. https://www.ted.com/talks/jeffrey_kluger_the_sibling_bond?language=en Sponsor: Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website:

In part 2 of our conversation about sexual wounds, Elliott and I discuss how you can identify a sexual wound—whether you’re wondering if you’ve been wounded or perhaps your partner has.  Elliott shares the two main ways sexual wounds manifest—in hyper-sexual behavior or hypo-sexuality. We wrap up our conversation with tangible steps to take to help you or your partner heal from sexual wounds. Join us for Part 2 of our Sexual Wound series to discern if past sexual woundedness is impacting your current sexual expression—and if so, how to find healing and hope. Sponsor: Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

In today’s hypersexualized culture, it’s difficult to avoid abuse or pain regarding our sexuality. Therefore, to some degree, most of us suffer from a sexual wound. Specifically, sexual wounds occur when physically intimate bonds are created outside of a committed monogamous partnership. Sexual wounds result from: Hook ups Paid sex Adultery Sexual abuse/molestation/incest Rape Pornography Furthermore, sexual wounds can also occur within a committed, monogamous partnership when the expression of sexuality is not free, open, enjoyed, and fulfilling. Join us for Part 1 of our Sexual Wound series to discern if past sexual woundedness is impacting your current sexual expression. Sponsor: Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife Use code LOVELIFE for 20% off your order Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/love-a

On Love & Life, we’re all about THRIVING in every realm of love and life! This sounds great, of course. But it also sets a very high bar—which can, admittedly, feel daunting and overwhelming. Elliott and I are here to help! As Elliott moves from Love & Life “fan favorite guest” to co-host, he’ll provide expertise based on over 30 years of counseling individuals and couples. He also brings his pastoral wisdom and experience. By collaborating, we’ll broaden the scope of our content—because ultimately, we can’t thrive in love and life unless we nourish our mind, body, and spirit. So, while Love & Life remains focused on our relationships and flourishing therein, we’ll incorporate other key concerns related to our mission:  Providing conversations grounded in psych research, psychotherapy, and Biblical truth to help us thrive in love and life! Join us to hear more about our mission and vision in this week’s episode! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Em

More questions keep coming in so Elliott and I recorded another Q&A episode for you! “Helene” has been on at least 75 dates over the last 5 years. She’s frustrated that the guys she’s into never pursue her while the ones she’s not attracted to want to date her. She’s concerned that maybe now she’s putting up walls after so much disappointment. “Janey” says she matched with a guy on a dating app 2 years ago. She asked him a question and he responded, but then she never responded back. She thought he was out of her league. Recently she saw him on another dating app and she wants to message him. What should she say? “Linda” wants to know our best advice for an engaged couple as they plan for marriage. Join us to hear our thoughts on these questions. Click the link in the show notes below if you’d like us to answer a question for you! Ask Elliott and me a question here! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBoo

When we’ve been on the dating scene for a while and endured so much heartache, how can we believe good men still exist? It’s so easy to give up hope, but we don’t want to become bitter or demoralized! In this Q&A episode, Elliott and I answer your questions: “Valerie” wants to know how she can possibly trust men again after her boyfriend of 6 months broke up with her right after her miscarriage of their baby. “Sarah” has been in 3 long term relationships and each time she caught her partner lying about debt, infidelity, and drugs. She worries she’ll never be able to meet a man of integrity. “Maggie” recently got back together with her ex who used drugs recreationally when they dated before—which is why she broke up with him. He says he’s left that lifestyle behind but she still wonders if she’ll ever be able to fully trust him. Join us to hear strategies for healing and rebuilding hope and trust. Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook:

How often do you ask yourself, “How am I doing?” If you're like most of us, the answer may be–not often enough! Detroit Pistons psychotherapist, Dr. Corey Yeager, invites us to ask ourselves this very question. His new book, “How Am I Doing? 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself” provides thought provoking prompts for deeper self knowledge–of who you’ve been and who you intend to become! I highlighted some of my favorite quotes from Dr. Yeager’s book and asked him to elaborate on them. Specifically, we explore: The importance of being sure you’re the one writing your story! Listening to your inner voice and monitoring your self talk. Growing up, Dr. Yeager heard things like, “Don’t become someone your family wouldn’t recognize!” How do we honor our family of origin while still resonating with our authentic selves? The tension between “Making the right choice” vs. “Making the choice right!” The impact of untruths we tell ourselves! Dr. Yeager’s definition of True Freedom and the heavy responsibility in

We're wrapping up our series on Dr. Chapman's 5 Love Languages with a couple more I've developed over my 30+ years working with couples—challenge and presentation!  1. Challenge: How we challenge each other in a committed romantic relationship—to be the best version of ourselves, in relationships, career, family, and faith—is critical mortar solidifying or weakening, your love language wall. Research shows one of the main reasons marriages break down is boredom! But couples who commit to challenging one another via encouragement and exhortation toward growth and development, strengthen their intimacy and keep their connection exciting!  2. Presentation: How we present our partner to others displays how we view him/her. Furthermore, when we’re married, our spouse is a representation of us at all times. How partners present each other to family, friends, and community is another enormously important language that allows the other five love languages to thrive or be denied. Listen to learn ho

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott & I discuss the following: Fascinating research behind the power of touch. Don’t all men have physical touch as their top love language? The importance of pacing physical touch as your intimacy develops and how this relates to hookup culture.   How men and women experience touch differently based on our differing physicalities.  Repairing physical touch after infidelity.  Attachment styles as they relate to physical touch.  Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott & I discuss the following: Why acts of service in partnership may feel harder to receive for people who were single for a long time.  How acts of service are critical to couples in crisis recovery.  The vulnerability inherent to giving and receiving acts of service.  How to communicate which acts of service you desire and why it’s important you do so! Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life! Q

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott and I explore the following: How to give gifts in the early days of a relationship.  Values which lay at the root of gift giving. If your love language is gifts, are you inherently materialistic? How our family of origin influences our feelings about giving and receiving gifts.  Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life! Quizzes, Resources, & more: Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/ Chapman, G. (

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott and I explore the following: How to negotiate time—even in the early stages of your relationship. I share an example from when Dan and I were first dating and I was late to pick him up from the airport! Why couples need to understand the values beneath their conception of time and how sometimes, you share the same values, but express them differently. How to approach your partner with a request for more time. Spoiler alert—words of affirmation come in handy! How the family life cycle impacts your navigating of quality time. Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott and I explore the following: Why Words of Affirmation may be the most important love language! How to express Words of Affirmation even if you’re not someone who feels comfortable sharing your emotions. The difficulty of receiving Words of Affirmation when we don’t feel confident or self-assured—and how to learn to receive them despite our insecurities and woundedness. How to give Words of Affirmation to ourselves—and why doing so is a gift to our current or future partner! Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and through