Dialogue On Divorce

Divorce is difficult enough, but it’s particularly tough when you feel like you’re losing your kids. How can you maintain the connection with your children when your time with them is limited? How do you make memories whether or not you live in the same household? Tommy Maloney is the cofounder of Blending the Family, a platform dedicated to helping divorced parents navigate dating and remarriage. He is also the author of 25 Tips for Divorced Dads and the host of the Blending the Family Podcast. A well-known speaker and parenting coach, Tommy is on a mission to provide resources for divorced dads and help them realize it’s okay to ask for help. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Tommy joins Katherine to share the experience of his own divorce and offer advice around cherishing the time you have with your kids. He explains why men have a difficult time asking for help and why it’s crucial to review your parenting agreement with a professional before you sign. Listen in to understand Danny’s mission aroun

52% of married people don’t consider themselves happy. Yet, we don’t reach out for support until something is really wrong. Why are we settling for happy enough? What if we sought couples counseling early on and learned how to build truly fulfilling relationships? Rachel and Kyle Wright are the founders of Wright Wellness Center, a relationship coaching practice designed to change how our culture treats relationships, sex and mental health. WWC offers a catalog of masterclasses, online programs, resources and coaching, affording couples the education and support necessary to build strong, sustainable relationships. Today, Rachel and Kyle join Katherine to explore the value of proactive approach to relationships—rather than a reactive one. The Wrights offer insight around finding love post-divorce, discussing why it’s a good idea to take a hiatus from dating after the breakup of a serious relationship. Rachel and Kyle also weigh in on how to accept that you see things differently from your partner without g

In the midst of a challenging divorce, it may feel as if you’ll never be able to move on. But what if you could use the divorce process as fuel to stage an epic comeback, reclaim your power and design your own best life? Nikki Bruno is the founder and CEO of Catalyst Coaching. Her signature program, The Epic Comeback, helps women stage an epic comeback and build a joyful life in the aftermath of a long-term challenge or crisis such as divorce, domestic abuse, loss, illness or injury. Prior to coaching, Nikki spent 15 years in the publishing industry, and her work as been featured in Best Self, Cosmopolitan and Bustle, among many other media outlets. Today, Nikki joins Katherine to define an epic comeback and explain some of the characteristics a person needs to stage one after divorce. She offers insight on how to process, heal and give voice to strong emotions and describes how she helps clients uncover their unique superpower. Listen in as Nikki walks us through the stages of the epic comeback journey and

If your child comes home complaining about your ex-spouse, it can be incredibly difficult not to react. You want to intervene, to defend your child. And your instinct is to address the issue with the other parent right away. But what if that puts your child in the middle—one of the very things you’ve been trying to avoid? How can you learn to take a step back and decide whether that problem really belongs to you? What is the best way to navigate co-parenting and protect your children during a divorce? Julie Ross is the Executive Director of Parenting Horizons, a platform created to enrich children’s lives through parent and teacher education. She leads parenting workshops and delivers keynotes across the US, and her work has been featured in Working Mother, Good Housekeeping and Real Simple, among many other national publications. Julie has also appeared on The Daily Show, The Today Show and NPR: Weekend America, and she is the author of Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex.

Getting back into the dating scene after a divorce can be challenging, especially if you never dreamed you’d be looking for love on an app. How do you write a compelling bio? How do you choose pictures that will lead to quality matches? What do you wear on a date, especially if your style hasn’t changed in years? Where can you go for help navigating the online dating process? Alyssa Dineen is the founder of Style My Profile, a consulting agency that helps clients improve their online dating profiles with the support of a professional stylist. Style My Profile is a first-of-its-kind service, offering profile help, wardrobe consultation, and photography packages. Alyssa has 20 years of experience in the fashion industry and serves as a freelance stylist for national publications including Glamour and Real Simple. Today, Alyssa joins Katherine to explain how her own experience with online dating inspired the creation of Style My Profile. She shares her professional advice around writing a compelling bio, selec

Divorce forces us to forge a new identity. Like it or not, life is different now, and we can either fight the change or accept and adapt to a new reality. Best case scenario, we use the crisis as an opportunity to change for the better, making decisions about what we value and focusing on our health and spiritual growth. We can leverage the divorce process to become fully ourselves—and fully ALIVE! Anne-Louise DePalo is a New York attorney with 30-plus years of experience in the realm of divorce and family law. She is a certified mediator, parent coordinator, spiritual director and collaborative divorce advocate. Ann-Louise is also a founding member of the Staten Island Collaborative Law Group and the author of Divorce: Now What? How to Survive, Thrive and Become Fully Alive Through the Divorce Process. Today, Anne-Louise joins Katherine to explain how helping people understand their options inspired her to write Divorce: Now What? She walks us through the benefits of the collaborative process, including it

Divorce settlements are often compared with business deals. But the analogy falls apart when you consider that business deals give you the option to walk away. Perhaps a better parallel is that of a hostage negotiation, where you have no choice but to work with the other side. And in both cases, approaching the negotiation with respect—despite your very different point of view—is the most beneficial strategy. Chris Voss is the founder and CEO of The Black Swan Group, a professional development and consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. A 24-year veteran of the FBI, Chris is one of the top authorities on international crisis and high-stakes negotiations, lecturing at business schools across the US and appearing on ABC, CBS and CNN, among many other national media outlets. He is also the author of Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depended On It. Today, Chris joins Katherine to discuss the parallels between hostage and di

Let’s face it: We are emotionally attached to our stuff. During major life transitions like divorce, downsizing, or dealing with a death in the family, that attachment is exacerbated by the emotional upheaval that accompanies change. How can a professional organizer help you learn to ‘treasure hunt’ rather than just keep things for the sake of keeping them? And how do you design a space to support the person you are becoming in the aftermath of these key life transitions? Janine Sarna-Jones is the founder and president of Organize Me Inc., a firm that offers moving and relocation, hands-on organizing and estate clearance services. She has been helping people get organized at home and at work for 26 years, and her client roster includes corporate executives, small business owners, moms, artists and nonprofit organizations. Janine is a member of the inaugural class of Certified Professional Organizers, and she has been featured on radio, in print and online as a member of Parenting magazine’s Mom Squad. Toda

In the midst of difficult life transitions like divorce, it is human nature to reach extreme, self-defeating conclusions: I’m incapable of love! All men are sociopaths! The world is unspeakably cruel! How can we take a closer look at what happened in our relationship and expand the narrative to something a little more nuanced, a little more balanced, a little closer to the truth? One strategy that works is to tell the story of your divorce in writing. Steve Friedman is the award-winning author of seven books, and his essays on relationships have appeared in anthologies like Modern Love and The Bastard on the Couch. Steve’s work has appeared in a number of national publications, including Esquire, GQ and The Washington Post, and he was the writer of the first Modern Love column in The New York Times. Steve teaches the popular writing course Divorce, Breakups and New Beginnings: Telling Your Story through the organization UNtied. Today, Steve joins Katherine to discuss how writing helps people make difficult

Divorce is never easy on the kids involved, but the process can be particularly fraught for teenagers. How does divorce impact teens differently than younger children? What is the best way to customize a parenting plan for teens? And how can you support teens in adapting to a new, blended family? Barbara Rothberg, DSW, LCSW, has 35-plus years of experience helping clients resolve conflicts and navigate transitions in their lives. In her role as a divorce coach and child specialist, Barbara helps families customize solutions that emphasize the best interest of the child. She often serves as a mediator or family specialist in the collaborative divorce setting, and Barbara’s work as a parent coordinator allows her to support separated parents in becoming good co-parents to their children. Today, Barbara joins Katherine to explain how divorce impacts a teen’s growing autonomy and offers insight around designing a parenting plan for older children. She describes how teens think about blended families, discussing

Once you have made the difficult decision to divorce, a sense of urgency sets in. You want to get through the painful process as quickly as possible. Yet it is unwise to make snap decisions when you’re under that kind of emotional stress. How do you give yourself time to process what is going on? How do you define your non-negotiables and use them to reclaim a sense of control? And how do you find the right professionals to guide you through the divorce process? Sonia Queralt is a former divorce litigator and founder of Divorceify, an online platform designed to help clients take a holistic approach to divorce. The site employs machine learning to match people in all stages of the process with vetted professionals and resources customized to their specific needs. A former divorce attorney, Sonia founded Divorceify in 2015 to offer divorce consumers the technology and tools to navigate the process efficiently and with confidence. Today, Sonia joins Katherine to explain how her background as a divorce litiga

Most people dealing with divorce feel isolated and alone. It’s challenging to find people who really understand what you’re going through and attending events around the divorce process can prove embarrassing. So, where can you go to learn about your options, get recommendations for trusted professionals and connect with other people who truly empathize with your situation? Where can you find a safe, supportive community that will help you find a new life on the other side of divorce? Deanna Coyle is the founder of Vesta: Redefining Divorce, an organization that seeks to educate, connect and empower people through the divorce process. Deanna is a former Wall Street securities analyst who went through her own emotionally and financially draining divorce, and now she is on a mission to help others transform this challenging life transition into an opportunity for growth. Vesta offers complimentary consultations with legal and financial professionals as well as educational and social events. In five years, Vest

Divorce is a difficult, painful process. But at the end of the day, people pursue divorce because they want to be happier and improve their lives. The experience CAN afford you the opportunity to look inward, rediscover yourself and architect a better future—if you approach divorce in a mindful, non-toxic way. Gabrielle Hartley is committed to helping couples divorce with dignity and ease. Gabrielle has 20-plus years of experience as a divorce attorney and mediator, and in that time, she has developed a unique approach to the process that supports clients in designing a healthy post-divorce life. Gabrielle is also the coauthor of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate. Today, Gabrielle joins Katherine to share the philosophy behind Better Apart and offer insight around her intention to help divorcing couples gain clarity. She describes several practical strategies you can use to remain mindful and practice active self-care during the divorce process and discusses how to choose an attorney tha

A divorce is a divorce is a divorce. And yet, there is a different layer of complication when divorce involves high net worth individuals. Whether the wealth came from an inheritance or wages earned during the marriage, there is a strong emotional charge involved as the divorcing couple sorts out who is entitled to what. Michelle Smith is one of the most sought-after divorce financial specialists in the country. As the founder and CEO of Smith FSG, she is dedicated to providing clients with guidance and expertise as they determine the best path forward through the divorce process. Michelle has 25-plus years of experience in the field, and she is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Divorce Mediator. Michelle is a regular contributor to national media and coauthor of Divorce & Your Finances. Today, Michelle joins Katherine to discuss what constitutes a high net worth divorce and the layers of complication involved. She speaks to the nuances of a divorce involving generational wealth versus wealth earne

Over the last 40 years, marriage has evolved from an institution based on strict gender roles and specialization to a connection based on friendship and shared interests. Our expectations of marriage have shifted as well, the standards for intimacy rising along with the need to negotiate shared responsibilities. So, how can couples best navigate these new rules? And how does this transition impact societal attitudes toward divorce? Stephanie Coontz is an author and educator in the field of marriage and gender relationships. She teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen State College and serves as Director of the Council on Contemporary Families (CCF). Stephanie has written seven books and published dozens of articles in scholarly journals and popular media, including The New York Times and the Journal of Marriage and Family, among many other publications. She has been honored with The Families & Work Institute’s Work-Life Legacy Award and CCF’s Visionary Leadership Award. Today, Stephanie joins Ka

Our cultural vision of divorce court is very different from reality. We fantasize about justice and imagine that the judge will take our side. But the truth of the matter is that most cases settle, and in those that do make it to trial, the judgement has little to do with who is morally right. So, if trial decisions are an urban myth, what does divorce really look like? Jacqueline Newman is a matrimonial law expert and divorce attorney based in New York City. As the managing partner of Berkman Bottger Newman & Rodd, a top-tier Manhattan firm, her practice consists of litigation, collaborative law and mediation. Jacqueline provides expert legal commentary for national media outlets, including ABC, NBC and FOX, and her work has appeared in numerous publications such as US News & World Report, Business Insider and The Huffington Post. Jacqueline is the author of Soon-to-Be Ex and Soon-to-Be Ex for Men, and she has been named one of Thompson Reuters New York-Metro Super Lawyers Top 50 Women Attorneys for five ye

Divorce is a heart-wrenching process, but it is also an opportunity. Healing from the heartbreak affords you a new beginning, a chance to reconnect with who you are and what’s important to you. Sara Woodard is the architect of The HeartFull Journey, a platform designed to help you reconnect with yourself in the aftermath of divorce. Sara has compiled the tools and resources she created during her own divorce journey, and her blog, online course and workbooks serve to support others in regaining their confidence and remembering that they are worthy of love. Today, Sara joins Katherine to share the tools she developed to work through her divorce, explaining the ‘heart-full journey’ she took to reconnect with herself. She describes the value in developing scripted responses to bad advice, sharing the language she used to take her power back. Sara and Katherine discuss the challenge of trusting your gut after a divorce and the importance of reconnecting to your inner voice in the context of dating. Listen in

The heightened emotions that come with divorce often lead to impulsive action. The brain shuts down and couples jump into litigation without considering the consequences—or the alternatives. But the court system takes their power away and hands all of the decisions over to a judge, and at the end of the day, everybody loses. How can we reestablish communication between these couples, empowering them to make decisions on their own? Linda Schoonover Carley is a former family, dependency and juvenile judge with more than thirty years of experience as a judge, attorney and mediator. She is also the author of Divorce Made Simple, a no-nonsense guide that demonstrates her practical, holistic approach to avoiding the chaos of the court system. An Amazon Best Selling author and award-winning speaker, Linda uses storytelling to illustrate her passion for children and justice. Today, Linda joins Katherine to discuss how couples make impulsive decisions around divorce without a clear understanding of the consequences.

Holding on to bitterness and resentment is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die. It is so much easier to blame someone who has caused you pain than it is to own your part in it and develop compassion for the hurt they are feeling—particularly in the case of divorce. But if you have the courage to open yourself up to another person’s pain, it is possible to heal and grow in your capacity for empathy and understanding. Neelama Eyres and Michael Schiesser are the co-founders of the Inner Journey Institute. Since 1999, the pair has facilitated the personal, professional and spiritual transformation of thousands of people. Michael and Neelama were married in 2002 and their son, Kai, was born in 2004. But in 2006, their marriage came to an abrupt end, and they began a transformational journey of their own. After an intense two-year process, Neelama and Michael established a loving friendship and a dedication to co-parenting their son. That journey became the blueprint for their Healing Div

If you’re reading this, you are likely familiar with the first stage of the divorce process, the stage Liza Caldwell identifies as Something is Wrong. The problem with stage one is that you can get stuck there, lost in a vicious cycle with your own thoughts. How do you move forward? Where can you go for support in taking action? And what resources are available to help you reinvent yourself once the divorce is final? Liza Caldwell is the co-founder and director of SAS for Women: Support and Solutions for Thriving Beyond Divorce, an organization that provides resources and coaching for women who are considering, in the process of, or recovering from divorce. Liza earned her MA in gender and leadership development from Columbia University’s Teachers College, and she is a certified professional coach trained through Leadership That Works. Today, Liza joins Katherine to explain how she came to co-found SAS for Women. She shares the four-stage divorce roadmap that SAS uses to help women manage their expectations