Zoe Nightingale

Ok so I voluntarily jumped off a cliff into the never-ending rabbit hole that is the Iraeli/Palestinian Conflict. Fun! Let me apologize ahead of time for the sound on this one, blame alcohol as always and not setting up microphones in a stationary way. So first up, the Israeli soldier I fell for when I was forced to go on birthright by my mother about 5 years ago. When he walked into the charter bus a bunch of chomosomally challenged Jewish Americans and I were sharing I left a actual puddle on the seat. You should have seen his giant gun and uniform! Unreal. For a girl who grew up with men that couldn't connect a V.C.R, this was really a novel sight. He was part of the Sheldags, a hyper elite squadron that was in charge of the most difficult secret sniper missions. He trained for years, was tortured and tested by his leaders to make sure he could have handled capture or torture from the other side. He was the toughest boy I had ever met. He was 21 at the time, but he wore the weight of the whole world on thi

Jeepers Creepers Kathy Jane is gonna hop aboard the angry train after this one. Sorry mom. For the millionth time. My B. All systems point to this is your fault somehow. So this is a quick mini episode to tide you over under my 2nd iteration of my live show this time on March 11th from 8/10 pm EST. It will be broadcast live from the Marcy Hotel North which is a legendary underground Brooklyn party ware house that houses the whole Wolf and Lamb (Crew Love) posse. I had some of my very best youth filled nights of debauchery and chaos in their squash court lined walls. This very special episode will focus on what happens when the party is over...How do you rebuild your life from the ground up after trauma, sickness or incarceration? First up Michael Alig - the original party monster, creator of "club kids" when Limelight wasn't a shopping mall. He has just been released from jail after 17 years in max security prison for brutally killing and dismembering his friend and roommate, Angel. Second - Zev Eisenberg, cr

A couple rainy days ago I called an Uberpool to take me to work, I opened up the door, and who was sitting snug as a bug in a rug? A real life curly q Heimish! Now, even though I live with and see them almost every day, it's almost like we are living in two separate universes. They usually seem to look right through me, and almost never smile, nod, wave, or make casual conversation at the post office, grocery store, the M train whenever our paths my cross. I once was sent to live with a Hasidic family when I was 12, it left a vicious mark on my memory. It was like stepping into a time portal into the literal past, no electronics, no books, no color, all business. They had 12 children, I slept in the room with the littlest one was was 3 who had hair to his shoulders and I kept confusing him for a girl which made me super unpopular with the rest of the house especially the Mother who basically took all my clothes the first day and threw them out replacing them with drab cement colored wool numbers that erased a

God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time - robin williams Good golly miss Molly I feel in love with this woman. DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. I mean I spent most of the interview mesmerized by her face and her perfect round belly (SUPER preggo) I would never let my boyfriend's penis anywhere near this soon to be MILF. I could go on forever about how lovely it is to see a sex positive Iranian immigrant create a empire out of dick picks. You just can't make this stuff up. She gave me a ton of free swag, a t-shirt with a little trump dick, fridge magnets, and my FAVORITE the gift wrapping paper. I'm going to buy anything and everything she makes. Thank you for inviting me into your home and allowing me to bask in your glow. Check out all her work at http://www.dicturegallery.com Follow her on twitter&Insta @dickturegallery Check out ALL my work www.zoenightingale.com Follow me @genuinelyfalse (twitter) @drznightingale (insta)

My favorite tango dancing heart surgeon is back and more anxious than ever. He's landed a TV show where hell be traversing the states talking to Americans about our beloved democracy. He's eyes are bright and sad, he seems worried and sleepy because he's been hustling and rebuilding his career one interview at a time. Good luck Bassem! I'll be here every couple months to check in on your impending success. Music: Coming to America (Soundtrack) God Bless the USA - Lee Greenwood Edited by Violet Ikonomova

Bonus track from my live show last week that has been helping me personally deal with how to look at the loss of love. My friend Anthony is an expert in love and matters of the heart, and had consoled me many times in my life where it had become impossible to pry my heart broken body off my shag rug when my bones had liquefied into powder and I became a puddle of human on the floor. I have spent my life chasing giggles and avoiding pain. I leave it I hide from it, I douse it in alcohol or try to smoke different plants to make it fuzzy. But there comes a point where this hide and seek you're playing with life's obstacles leaves you an empty robot shell you barely recognize and you have to strip it all back and look in the mirror and face it. It is a process. To anyone in love, losing love, devestated by love, and despairing that they will never recover... Check out Anthony's Love Card game he created. It's so dope. Guaranteed to help you and your partner fall deeper in love or for newly dating couples to get t

MY FIRST LIVE SHOW! I will explain more about this later, but my head is killing me and I have to go to a David Bowie dance party with my mom so brb ! Music by Love Hangover: Diana Ross What Is Love: Deelite Can't Buy Love: Aquarius Heaven

You know, it takes alot of confidence to strut around with ya junk and ya trunk out walking around a city with some of the most hot to trot lads and lasses in all the lands. Where do they find the time I always wonder as the breeze from their slickly coiffed pony tail whips by my face, the faint glow of their perfectly coordinated neon outfit leaving acid like trails in my eyes. Even when I do put down the bloody mary's and go to the gym IF I can find a sports bra, non thigh high socks AND a hair tie that didn't come off a banana, I consider it a feat akin to stealing fire from the gods. Perhaps these uber manicured people don't have four jobs and an elderly dog that walks about as fast as a sea turtle defiantly crawling up a sand dune to lay it's eggs. It is also possible that they don't have a gaggle of oscar worthy actresses as bff's having Fukashima style life meltdowns every other day.... ..Because somehow, everyone is buff and on their 12th day of a cleanse that consists of a combination of sheer determ

I GOT A SPONSOR!!! Whoo hooooooooo!!! Finally. Who better then the lovely people behind Adam and Eve Toys! Until Valentines Day you can enter my name "ZOE" into the check out box at www.adamandeve.com and you'll get 50 percent off whatever dastardly object your foul little mind can think up! YOU'RE WELCOME!! Also they'll ship it for free and it comes with a Zoe approved bag including but not limited a vibrator, a "special" gift for him and a mystery DVD!! I swear, those are still a thing! So dust off your DVD players, turn up the Barry White and get to town. I need ALL of you to do this so they know my listeners are perverts who will buy their wares and they'll keep sponsoring me and I can keep making podcasts HUZZAH! sidenote. I did not make the god aweful imagine obvi, they did.

It's been 6 whole months since my episode debuted on Love & Radio, Nick Van Der Kolk and Brenden Baker's incredible, inspiring Podcast. I had been trying to become a guest reporter for them and make less hardcore, more substantive stories for them when they called me and said you have three hours to get your life together, we're taking three of your old episodes and they're premiering today. I didn't have a functioning website, I didn't have twitter. I wasn't prepared for the overflowing of love and hate I would get almost instantaneously from their rabid fans. For the first time ever, I had people listening to me, and my sisyphus like task seemed more realistic. Suffice it to say, I am not their usual kind of story teller. I don't use wind chimes, I am not precious, and I consistently use words that make people spit up their coffee. I was so honored and delighted to be included in their amazing roster of gorgeous stories, (and quite frankly shocked). Either way, this is the episode they made by squishing

If I had a dollar for everytime someone who loved god told me he wished I had never been born I would be diving in Scrooge Mc Duck style vaults of gold coins, and doing back strokes through rubies. I don't know why I do it. Why do I always want to talk to men standing on bible soapboxes? So there I was minding my own business on an epic date to see the best musical of all actual time, Hamilton, with my favorite person ever Navin. He is a gorgeous caramel colored Indian man, which obviously angered our lord and savior because out of nowhere this very angry man was yelling that particular blend of hypocritical diametrically opposed hooey of love and hate that ONLY religious zealots can master. Why do I always stop? What is actually wrong with me? I can't help it. They are my meth, the flame to my moth antennae, and I cannot keep away from their glittery hot white light. I just want once, just once to have an articulate conversation with someone about Jesus. I Challenge you internet universe, to send me someone

As I watch those around me voluntarily march down the road most travelled, my feelings towards marriage and procreation have not changed. I avoid them like the bubonic plague. I know that there are many wonderfully happy couples who have found ways to use the foundation you build with another human to grow and learn etc....but I definitely would rather have sex with a chainsaw....to put it more kindly, it just simply isn't my brew of macha. I know I run the risk of actually becoming a discount bin version of Sarah Jessica Parker, wistfully waxing poetically about the wonders of being a single gal in New York City, except I am aware that she only made it look cool because she had 40,000 in heels and a sexy rent controlled one bedroom in a brown stone and I still live in a tiny crumbly apt with two other people while simultaneously wearing the same style of flat Steve Madden suede knee high boots I first got in 7th grade.. no savings, no investments, no property, no children, no foundational anything....I wonde

Drug addiction has affected my life since I was a wee lass and ever since I can remember I have always been a glowing lamp post attracting a cornucopia of moth like addicts who represent the full spectrum of human sadness. It's rare that I post serious interviews like this, and I have done tons in the past, because to me, they simply aren't funny. However I am posting this now because I hope to show people like him that their lives are worth fighting for even if the path they have taken is full of crazy straw twists and turns. I met him on Christmas day and I instantly found his quiet honesty immensely likable and he also was one of the best first time Charade players I have ever seen. This is a very small segment of what was a very long interview, but I'm pretty sure he was jacked out of his mind and he kept bobbing and weaving like cassius clay around his life details and it was hard to keep a flow going so this is the beginning of what I hope will be many interviews that i'll do in the future because he ha

Directly after burning man, I found myself visiting my friend Princess Donna at the San Francisco Armory which is the gigantic mega massive terrifying Moorish Castle built in 1912 to hold arms for the U.S. National Guard. This Castle was turned into the home for the world's largest Kink and fetish website Kink.com (mostly extreme bondage and non consent fantasies) in 2006 and now serves the world up with piping hot servings of the literal filthiest devious most insane porn you're fucked up brain could ever dream up. There's a Four Chan saying that if you can think of it, it exists in the porn world and let me tell you that this place is like Mecca for innovative ways to push the boundaries of what I personally am comfortable with. I am not one to judge, ever what turns people on or how they want to consensually get their rocks off. But I must say, that I left this shoot needing a super hot shower and a lot of snuggles. It's hard for me to know what I think about rape fantasy culture, and hardcore pain/humilia

What can I even say, he is my hero. A brilliant, soft spoken, lightening rod who used his comedic genius to stand up to his government and military and effect real actual change. A man whose beliefs lead him to be exiled from his home, and forced to uproot his life and family to the US. He is perfectly set up to be a uniting force and a white light of knowledge in the US during these incredibly scary times where hate and xenophobia has people frothing at the mouth like rabid racoons. I feel lucky and honored to call myself his friend and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for him. Get ready all you ignorant fucks who want to close our borders and brew hatred in a country that was founded to protect our prism of differences. I am ashamed and embarrassed to read the kind of vitriolic hate mongering that's going on. I'm going to get louder, and I'm going to try to counter this shameful hooey with my own blend of medicine, using story telling with warm hearted, big brained, lovely people of all wal

I spent last weekend on the Summit at Sea boat party and this is one of the many amazing people I met there. I will preface it by saying the quality of my voice is akin to a 432 pound women named Bertha who works at 1-900-sex hotline. I hadn't slept much and had been yelling and singing alot, so as always, i'll promise to do better next time.

Introducing Sundanataidas! (Magic Spelling) Head of some section of the Hare Krishnas, I spent an afternoon with him trying to understand why I should buy an orange pashmina, give myself one of those top knot Los Angeles hair cuts and start dancing around like a spastic Capuchin monkey trying to attract a female. He actually was really wonderful. I assumed immidiately that he had a life like a boon dock saint, and had fled to Krishna for salvation and I WAS RIGHT. Either way, he was so bloody happy. Dancing around doing version of the electric slide with his buddies all dressed in orange Fanta colored clothes, it's really just so much fun. Anyway I learned a lot, mostly that Karmically, I'm in big big trouble, and I need to do some serious critical thinking about what I want my soul's destiny to be. This episode was edited and recorded by Barry Jive, my wonderful accomplice in recording crime.

Greets and Salutations my friends and enemies alike! I will begin exclusively premiering shows on a new platform, called ACAST, which will allow me, due to small ads, to do this show full time without becoming a freegan who dumpster dives at whole foods, uses a moon cup and takes up ulkelele as a hobby. So hurray for creative freedom, boo for selling out but girls gotta brunch, ya know? So I spent a sun soaked day in Washington Sq Park with my trusty beat up toe up from the flo up free sex advice sign, adjacent to a baby grand piano that sits and waits for wayward musicians to stroke it's keys, and waited for the world to open it's oyster shell. Three wonderful humans discussing a sundry of life's most topical issues, mostly centered around anal sex, as always. LOVE ZOE

You spend your entire life thinking you are nothing like your parents while simultaneously trying to figure out how it's possible you are a combination of their genes. Then slowly, as you start to pay your own bills, establish your adulthood and form a friendship with them they begin to let down their parental shields and open up a John Malcovitch portal into their brain and you realize, FUCK ME, we are the same. THEN i imagine you spend the rest of your life watching in horror as you slowly become their doppleganger. Maybe the avalanche doesn't really happen until you have your own children and you catch yourself saying things you swore as a youth you would NEVER do..but I must tell you, my parents continue to surprise and shock me even thirty years after I met them. This story, told to me as we were washing the plates after Friday night dinner FLOORED me. I always knew my dad was a bit of a rebel without a cause, but this story takes place in the beginning of the 70's where he was a Lawyer working for a par

So I've been spending more time with my parents because they are, lets face it, the absolute fucking best ever of all time. I've been struggling to find inspiration in NYC...and kind of moping around which is antithetical to my entire core of who I believe myself to be. So I went home to spend some time with my creators, and remember just how lucky I am to have chosen my amazing mother as a portal into this universe. I have developed a really new fun game where I ask my parents to define dirty words. It's the best. Sometimes I can't tell if they're fucking with me, as if they have their own secret game where they see if they can make me believe that it's possible, plausible or probable that they wouldn't know what road head is. Wouldn't it be amazing if they were drinking wine laughing at MY gullibility when I finally went to bed. Doubtful, but anyway, as I continue to work on the more difficult burning man episodes (next one launches NOV 1) I have some wonderful short family pieces to hopefully make you laug