Sports Borts

We're talkin' Tiger Woods, Happy Gilmore, Payne Stewart's pants, and, most of all, why anyone in the world would want to watch or play golf on this week's Borts.  The talented, beautiful, nice, and funny Zach Broussard guides the Borts ever-so-gently into how to hack golf into being a fun and cool experience and not a boring and stodgy CHORE. ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person. ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com ... Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack

OK, it's not really a "live" episode in the traditional sense of the word. It wasn't in front of an audience, it was recorded in a room at the Embassy Suites hotel in the greater Phoenix area instead of the Headquarts, though, so it counts. Get off our backs! Spring Training rules! And the Borts are witnesses. Driving from L.A. to the Phoenix area with Ben's parents, the Borts give a shorty update on what it's like to experience the weird, super chill preseason baseball that takes place every March in Arizona and Florida.  And joining the Borts for part of the episode is Ben's mom, who is decidedly NOT a sports head, but still finds ways to enjoy baseball, Cincinnati sports, and the Spring Training games. She's great! Listen to this! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a

There comes a time in every sports fan's life when they wake up and realize: the NFL sucks and the NBA is pretty dang-on cool! Very funny writer and actor and Bills fan, Carrie McCrossen, joins the Borts this week to discuss her transition from crying-about-"wide right" to wondering is-watching-the-NFL-right? And if you've ever listened to an episode of Sports Borts before, you know she is among friends with that subject matter. We dive deep into how football games can be such a nice, wholesome family tradition, the non-aggro-ness of WNBA games, home ownership and flooding, watching games in the cold, and much much more! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but i

Are sports good now? Are they bad? Better than they were? Or worse? Could they be better? And how? Can anyone even tell?  In this episode, the Borts take the time to check in with the status of each of the 'Big 3' sports both on and off the field. Where do they have room for improvement and where do they need to just burn it down and start over.  Spoiler alert: the NFL needs to light that match! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person. ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com ... T

Jumps, spins, lutzes, axels, and salchows....who can keep 'em all straight?! Our guest this week can, that's who! The ultra hilarious Caroline Cotter joins The Borts in The Headquarts to talk all things FIGURE SKATING. Caroline, who thanks she stanks at figure skating but the video evidence proves otherwise, gives us the low down dirty deets on what it was like being a normal kid figure skater and then growing up to be a normal adult figure skater. She dishes on why Michelle Kwan rules and Tara Lipinsky drools, how the whole amateur "skating system" works, and a million other things that lead to a giggly and chuckle-y time on the airwaves. It's good, you should listen. ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or whereve

Going to every home game of the season for your favorite team...oh, what a dream! The Borts welcome a guest who has realized that dream with the New York Knicks AND the Los Angeles Clippers. Unbelievable! Spencer Griffin (Stoopid Buddy Stoodios) steps into the headquarts and dishes about not really having a home-grown favorite team, his latter-day love for the Clippers, Marie Kondo'ing, getting the right apparel,  all the perks of season ticket holding, and more on this NBA-packed ep of Sports Borts.  Luka Dončić does come up. ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice

Memphis, located in the western corner of Tennessee, is known for BBQ, Beale Street, and, you guessed it, basketball! Home of the Grizzlies, the team that brought us the Gasol's and Grit & Grind! Memphis is full of alliteration! Marshall Stratton is an improv and sketch comedian living in New York City. Search for him on Youtube and you'll encounter a treasure trove of comedy videos, many of which are about sports which is A.O.K. with the Borts. He's got a lot of nice things to say about Memphis and his Grizzlies and frankly, it'll make you want to take a visit. ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sp

Distance Running RULES!  I bet you didn't wake up this morning thinking you'd hear someone say that. But the fact is: it does. Whether you're jogging a 5k, training for a marathon, or having a foot race with the kid down the street who thinks he's faster than everyone else just because he drinks two glasses of milk at dinner instead of one; running rules! Here to talk about distance running with The Borts is Nate Dern, a writer for The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and a full-on running hound. Ben and him ran the LA marathon together last year (and are planning to do it again this year) and they nerd out A LITTLE in this episode but Ashley keeps it from getting annoying, WE PROMISE. Whether it's simply getting in shape or finding an alternative way to tour a city or experiencing weather (ok, weirdo), distance running is very cool and this ep is all about that. Ashley adds in a few things that aren't so cool about running too for the majority of folks who can relate. ... If you or anyone you know woul

The New Year Baby has hatched out of his egg and is starting to wobble onto it's chubby little legs already, but before Baby gets TOO big, the Borts list how they hope to improve as sports fans in 2019.  More soccer? Less superstitions? More reading! All this and more in the first Sports Borts episode of the New Year! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person. ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com ... Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West) Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (impressive, right?) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sports-borts/support

Chugging on with the *ON THE BORTS DAY OF CHRISTMAS - HOLIDAY SPORTSTACULAR* the Borts list each of their top 4 sports things of 2018, for a total of EIGHT top sports things. And this ain't no objective, Yahoo end-of-year article list or some Espy's-ass B.S., this is straight up PERSONAL, just like sports are supposed to be. There were a lot of great sports things that happened this year: the Super Bowl, the World Series, the NBA Finals, Gronk trying to tackle that Miami Dolphins receiver and tripping and falling, and the list goes on and on. Did your favorite thing make the list? Possibly! Only one way to find out...Download, Listen, and Subscribe! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person. ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsb

Take your cleats off and put your soft, warm slippers on because the Borts are taking a hard left turn AWAY from the field/court/pitch and toward the TV for the second episode of the Sports Borts ***ON THE BORTS DAY OF CHRISTMAS - HOLIDAY SPORTSTACULAR!*** That's right we're not talking sports hardly at all and instead we're talking about the next best thing: made for TV Christmas movies! Do you think they're dumb or corny or predictable, well think again, hot shot...they rule! And we're joined for the episode by someone who also thinks they rule, the very funny Jocelyn Richard! We break down some of our favorite small budget/quickly shot holiday movies including "Christmas In The Smokies" and "A Christmas Kiss 2" and we discuss why in the heck we love these things so much. For real, all three of us are obsessed with them and if you're not already, YOU SHOULD BE TOO. Get in the spirit, baby, listen to this episode and then watch some of these movies! Let their beauty and familiarity and absurdity wash ove

Hallelujah, it's that time of year again, the HOLIDAYS! Whether you're celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or something in between, this time of year is all about one thing: GIFTS, baby! But what should you get people? I mean, like, specific people. Like Russell Westbrook and Rob Gronkowski and Bryce Harper and all your other favorite sports figures. Well, we've got the answer for you in the first episode of the Sports Borts ****On the BORTS day of Christmas: Holiday Sportstacular**** Joining us in gift discussion is the very funny sports man, Jason Flowers. Jason is a Cleveland native and the biggest Cavs fan around. He also has some great ideas for what kind of underwear to get Charles Barkley. So whether you're curled up by a roaring fire, sitting in the mall parking lot waiting for some dumbass to pull out of the parking spot they've been sitting in for half an hour after getting back in their car, or eating chestnuts, fire up this holiday borts and let it wash over you like so much snow on Christmas mor

Is DC a state? NO! Now that we got that out of the way, let's talk DC sports (does anyone read these episode descriptions?). The Capitals, the Wizards (nee Bullets), football team, and the...Orioles? Them too, if you ask our guest this week, Sam West. Sam is a very funny dude who has written for great things and plays the drums in the Sports Borts theme song, "Sports Is Art" with his band, Podcast Mason. He is a DC man who has a complicated but familiar relationship with his hometown sports teams and had some filthy man steal an Orioles' foul ball from him one time. Check it out and don't forget: ...WATCH SPORTS! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person. ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com ... Theme m

Sports is BIG BIZNESS. Ever heard that one before? You probably have because it's true. Stupid, but true. But why does sports bizness have to get in the way of all the fun? Why can some teams buy huge advantages while others scrap and scrape for crumbs? It's probably the price of living in a deeply flawed (but exciting) capitalist society! Lou Gonzalez is a very funny man who joins the Borts to talk about the financial situation of professional sports and also how he squares up being a fan of the "Republicans" of Major League Baseball (The Yankees) with being a progressive, equality-minded human being. Come for the deep reflective talk on the inevitability and unchecked power of commerce in our society and stay for the discussion of frozen yogurt toppings! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are

“Sports are great, we want to make them better." —The official mission statement of Sports Borts. In a new episode format, the Borts don't got a guest. Instead they present 5 Borts Sports Ideas™ and hash out how good and/or plausible they are. This week: -How much less fun is it rooting AGAINST the team you hate the most than it is rooting FOR your favorite team? -Is less players on the field a way to make the NFL better? -How can we improve refs' and umpires' uniforms? -NFL stadiums should play music during plays. -Can we PLEASE see some GM’s-talkin’-trades footage, FOR ONCE? ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person. ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com ... Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman,

"Pick-up" basketball? Like basketball played in pick-up trucks? Are the trucks playing on their own or are the drivers controlling them to hit the ball with their front bumper up into the hoop, Air Bud-style? Shut up, idiot! We're talking about the kind of pick-up basketball you play with your friends or strangers in the park. And how it's great but can sometimes suck if the ingredients aren't juuuuuust right. John Haskell is a super funny professional comedy man who is a lock-down wing defender with a dynamite mid-range jumper and who plays in a Saturday morning pick-up basketball game with Ben. The Borts talk and chuckle with John about his thoughts as a Philly sports fan, his posters, empathetic athletes, and turning it "up to 11" if you know what we mean. ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you

Oooh baby, this is a big one! The question all sports fans with a brain are muttering under their breath as they reach for the remote (and another spicy hot chicken wing) on Sunday. Pro football is back and because the sport's governing body--the dumbass NFL--has refused to honestly address player safety issues and player expression issues and a host of other ISSUES, it's our obligation as sports fans to at least discuss where we fit. To do that, the Borts are joined by thoughtful and very funny football-man, Don Fanelli! Don is an actor/improvisor/writer who can be seen across many tv shows and can be heard on his own podcast "The Need To Fail" (available wherever podcasts are found!) ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com --- Support this pod

Is it soccer or is it football? Why can't it be both? Who cares! Either way, the Borts are talking about it this week with America's favorite Italian-American from Queens, Dom Manzolillo! Dom is a funny man of sketch comedy and short film who also speaks Italian. He walks us through how he came to be a Roma supporter (the team of Totti and wolf nipples) and a simple explanation of how footballing works in Europe (there's each country's domestic league AND ALSO the Champions League, and they're played SIMULTANEOUSLY, who knew?! Well, most everyone except Ben, I guess). After (or before or even DURING) listening to this ep, don't forget to visit dommanzolillo.com for even more Dom! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: h

"Sorry honey, I can't do any chores, I'm watching the game...again." How many times have you heard THAT from your partner? I'm sure it's ALL the time. But is that good? Who knows and who cares! Stop thinking about it and listen to this episode where the Borts (an engaged couple on the verge of not being fiances no more) talk to hilarious duo (and married couple) Dan Klein and Kelly Hudson. Dan and Kelly are two super funny writers/actors who have a fantastic podcast of their own called Make Me Like It (https://headgum.com/make-me-like-it). They also have great things to say about being in a couple where one person likes sports (Dan) and the other doesn't (Kelly). LISTEN! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: https:/

Pizza? Sure. Empire State Building? Of course. The Knicks and Derek Jeter? NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! It's a chock-full-of-NYC-sports episode as Jersey boy, Yoni Lotan (Just For Laughs, "Russian Doll" on Netflix), joins the Borts and nails it right out of the gate. Yoni is a passionate young man who loves sports, has complicated feelings for JETES, and sometimes spontaneously chants Tom Hanks' name, exactly like us! Truly this is the ep to listen to if you're on the fence about liking sports. BONUS CHALLENGE: Please tweet at us (@sportsborts) and Yoni (@yonitime) with the strangest place you listen to this podcast using the hashtag #weirdborts. ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sports-