Patio Lanterns

WE THE BEST PODCAST A music heavy episode of the pod.....Kurt sings Katy Perry's new hit single and introduces 4 nominees for #SONGOFTHESUMMER. Ryan suggests a new power (weirdo) move to try on tinder dates. Later, we try finding each on Chatroulette. Go to our instagram @plpodcast and nominate your #songofthesummer2019

Come on in, the water's fine! The boys have RAPTOR'S FEVER!! Jk, Randy thinks Lebron is playing and Kurt is just there for the liquor. Kurt experiences violent explosions from his toilet and nearly destroys his house. Our dear Patio Lanternites got way to many problems on their hands so we brought in advice-expert Ms. Shanna Graham on the show to help (min 30).

The Roy is a great place to relax and meet with friends. Great food and friendly waitresses await you, with daily food specials and a warm atmosphere. PATIO LANTERNS - THE BASKETBALL AND GARDENING PODCAST Ryan encounters some weird sneezers. Kurt encounters an ant. Game of Thrones is over but our rants are just beginning. Congrats to "Give me Hedman" for winning the 2019 Patio Lanterns NHL Bracket Challenge! Go to our instagram @plpodcast and nominate your #songofthesummer2019

IT'S THE PODCASTING PLAYOFFS - "It's the time you really gotta prove yourself, cause everyone's going out for summer." After a disturbing hiatus, we're back! Kurt is sick and Randy is in a foreign land. Why aren't dress shorts more common? How are our NHL brackets doing? (Hint: badly). The Big Dog Daddy throws out a heater just in time for summer while Taylor Swift disappoints (ME lol) big time. Go to our instagram @plpodcast and nominate your #songofthesummer2019

MOON BOOTS ARE HERE AND THE FUTURE STINKS ICBC is modifying our genomes? We HATE Game of Thrones HATERS. Kurt envisions Randy on the cover of "Dad" magazine. Donation bins - why are they dangerous and can they be stopped? Everyone's NHL brackets are busted - get the inside scoop on this edition of #sportstalk. Go to our instagram @plpodcast and nominate your #songofthesummer2019

The official podcast of the NHL Welcome to the Patio Lanterns NHL bracket challenge! We have created a fantasy league for big $$$. Listen to our tips, tricks, and quips in our sports segment! Randy has a new "power" move. Kurt got a part of his body waxed. 1. Create a bracket here: https://cliambrown.com/bracket2019/ 2. Copy your secret edit link, and then paste it here: https://cliambrown.com/bracket2019/league/join/xqd3qctr You can check out the league members & results here: https://cliambrown.com/bracket2019/league/xpjz6 PS: Send $20 to our email: patiolanternspodcast@gmail.com to officially enter into the grand prize sweepstakes! Go to our instagram @plpodcast and nominate your #songofthesummer2019

LEGALLY BLIND NAKED MAN GUNNED DOWN SPRINTING ACROSS FORMULA ONE CIRCUIT Randy and Kurt have had enough of their respective big city lifestyles and are moving out to separate small towns. Randy has a new business idea and you can have it, free of charge! Michelob Ultra changed their slogan and it really irks Kurt. Kurt ventures to a house party and is met with mixed results. "Where have all the illegally blind people gone" - Sam Roberts. Go to our instagram @plpodcast and nominate your #songofthesummer2019

LET'S CANOODLE Sit down, shut up and get ready for our hottest episode yet. The boys create THE perfect playlist to fulfill your every sexual desire. We also start the conversation on SONG OF THE SUMMER 2019. The spa is good and you guys should check it out. One thing not to check out...grapefruit. THEY SUCK. Go to our instagram @plpodcast and nominate your #songofthesummer2019 Check out our bedroom bangers playlist from this episode: https://open.spotify.com/user/1xr51mc3oj8wvpqcvtzlrh2qn/playlist/1d9Rc1vkE2dR4R5uemZDrl?si=bhj36DImRDi34V-i50JJ0Q

I'm gon ride, I'm gon ride, I'm gon ride I'm gon ride on you baby, on you lady all night, all night I'ma take care of your body, I'll be gentle, don't you scream It's getting hotter, make it softer, feel your chest on top of me I'm gon ride, I'm gon ride, I'm gon ride I'm gon ride on you baby, on you lady all night, all night I'm gon make you feel that loving, getting weak all in your knees Kiss your body from the tip top all the way down to your feet. [0 mins]: Winter SUCKS and anybody who says different is a liar! Stop with the super erotic worm moons already. Kurt finally watched all of the Rocky and Creed movies and re-ranked them to Randy's displeasure. [35 mins]: Our favorite kiwi, Ryder Hoy (HOYYYYYYY), orders the tuna, no crust. Instagram: @plpodcast

THE 7-ELEVEN OF PODCASTS - PEAKING 24HRS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK [0 mins]: Daylight Savings Time came and went with minimal casualties thanks to some smart planning by RDAWG and the Caveman. Randy still doesn't like Twitter. IKEA - go for the furniture, stay for the cinnamon buns? Gynecologists for men - why isn't this a thing? Boiled pork is killing dogs, let's stop this before it's too late. [39 mins]: We are ecstatic to have our first female guest as Ryan's friend Nicole joins us on the patio. Although, Kurt is wary of this stranger and puts together a friendship quiz. What are hot guy names? How can we market to the female demographic? We ask Nicole. Instagram: @plpodcast

"If you could have one superhero what would it be?" Disgraced former co-host Geoff Kittson joins us to discuss: the origin of "Randy", Rancier Farms, tailgating at the ferry terminal, #swine09, and the challenges of Bumble. PATIO LANTERNS - THE PREMIER SPORTS TALK PODCAST PS - if you have any news on the whereabouts of past podcast interviewee, Avi, please let us know. Instagram: @plpodcast

We're gonna make you feel GRRRRRRRREAT hombre! Ever appreciated how the toilet seat doesn't sit directly on the rim?? No, didn't think so. Randy finds his long lost brother in Mexico. Kurt breaks down the top tier restaurants versus the crap ones. Is Randy the perfect test subject? Yes, yes he is. 2 cups DOES NOT EQUAL 2 cups. Instagram: @plpodcast

*Featuring for the FIRST TIME EVER - A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE* [0 mins]: Ryan goes on his biggest rant yet about his annoying classmates. Kurt is pissed off at Superstore (basically the anti-Costco). Vancouver is SHUT DOWN due to extreme weather! Dave Assman is a big ass and gets back at Saskatchewan Government Insurance and we love it. [27 mins]: Kent MacDonald (another friend of the podcast - you may know him as the guy who always loses at Jenga) joins us for a lengthy talk. We try and get inside his head via personality quizzes but we mostly laugh at Randy. Special thanks to Kenny Fong on YouTube for the Late Night Show Intro music. Instagram: @plpodcast

[0 mins]: R-MAN and the Caveman discuss #hustling and the pro-work culture. Is Ted Bundy hot? Other topics include: The cheerleader/mascot wage gap, 21 page long cooking blogs. And after Kurt witnesses someone raw dogging a banana, we argue over the correct way to eat a banana. [29 mins]: We get Keith Cook Carlson Ross from the Vancouver Island Sasquatch Investigation Squad to join us and talk yeti/bigfoot/sasquatch. Unfortunately, we run into severe audio problems. Instagram: @plpodcast

Kurt is back and can't wait to argue with Randy about Imagine Dragons. Are airports getting too big? Snapchat is goddamn mess and cole slaw is the least appetizing thing we've ever seen. Oh yes, and our weekly F U to Cinnabon (they suck). Thankfully Costco rules and we've got some listener questions!

Kurt decided to leave the country and go off soul-searching again, so Ryan got bored waiting and made his own freakin episode. With no one to keep him in line Ryan plays a solo game of HOT or NOT featuring a questionable number of cartoon characters. Goes on to rant about how being well informed sucks and how signatures are stupid. If you see red lemons does that mean you have eye cancer?? haha!

NEW YEAR SAME PODCAST. In the first ever episode recorded in the same room as one another, Dr. Randy and the Caveman argue over lemons and limes, pulp versus no pulp, and flurries versus McFlurries. Randy opens up about his bad Tinder experiences and his obsession for crazy eyes. Kurt HATES voicemails but LOVES pop! We have a brief year in review too...

DO YOU KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME? Eggnog is great (but we don't know what's in it) and you should mix it in with all of your meals and drinks. Is regifting acceptable? Is ginger spicy? Where does Randy find pickles around Christmas? Are cinnamon buns a breakfast food or dessert? We discuss all of these topics and MORE. Merry Christmas to all! Instagram: @plpodcast

In a spooky side project to our regular broadcasts, we watch the new Netflix show "The Haunting of Hill House" to see if it really is all its hyped up to be (reports of people vomiting and fainting). Oh and of course there is a drinking game. WE STRONGLY SUGGEST WATCHING THE SHOW ALONG WITH US. This covers Episode Ten. THIS IS IT BABY. THE FINALE.

In a spooky side project to our regular broadcasts, we watch the new Netflix show "The Haunting of Hill House" to see if it really is all its hyped up to be (reports of people vomiting and fainting). Oh and of course there is a drinking game. WE STRONGLY SUGGEST WATCHING THE SHOW ALONG WITH US. This covers Episode Nine.