Giving Up Normal

Are you having trouble figuring out what healthy rhythms and boundaries would work for you? Most pastors and leaders I talk with know that they need to put boundaries in place but they are just not sure what will work. And not knowing is what’s keeping them stuck in the unhealthy patterns of leadership.   How do you gain clarity so that you can make progress? Ask God. God, what do you want for me? What’s your vision, God? What do I need to focus on? What do I need to make time for? Write down what is most important to you in this season. What relationships are most important in the months ahead? What events are important? What roles, responsibilities do you need to make time for? What parts of yourself need time/attention/nurturing? Start small. Pick one thing but start. We tend to try and do much too quickly. Do one thing, but do it! We tend to think about things over and over again. We'll talk with colleagues and friends, we'll meditate on what we want, what it could be like...but we actually don’t do anyt

Do you like to plan?  I know I do. It makes me feel accomplished. Productive. In control. Planning eases my anxiety because I know what to expect. Plan the work then work the plan, right? The problem is we rarely actually work the plan. We spend time, energy, resources getting everything we need to create a long term plan...we plan the work, but rarely do we work the plan. God may have given you a vision, a word, a calling, and unless God tells you otherwise, that doesn’t change...but how we live it out does. Things change. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. I am already hearing the anxieties from many leaders about what will happen this fall. What will be possible in a world where we are living with COVID-19? And we spend a lot of time thinking, wondering, worrying, and trying to plan. Here's the thing: We don’t know what will happen tomorrow.  This week I started to read the book Win the Day, by Mark Batterson. I only got through the Introduction but it was good. He talks about how we spend muc

Let's celebrate! This is episode 100 of the Women in Ministry United Podcast!   From the launch in March 2019, the journey has been filled with twists and turns. If you've been with me for a lengthy period of time, you know that this began as the Giving Up Normal Podcast where we focused on giving up the normal things that are hurting your soul so that you could live as the person God created you to be.    While that heartbeat continues, God's call for my leadership got more specific and as my ministry focused on helping women in ministry break free from the cycles of busyness and overwhelm and create healthy rhythms and boundaries...the name of the podcast changed to simply, The Women in Ministry United Podcast!   Today, as we celebrate the 100th episode, I share with you 4 lessons that I've learned from you, the community, as you share your experience creating and maintaining healthy rhythms and boundaries in your life and leadership. Exposing these common realities will help us support one another so that

Compassion fatigue is a reality for many caregivers in ministry. In this episode I sit down with Laura Howe from Hope Made Strong as she shares her insights and strategies on how you can tell if compassion fatigue is affecting you and what you can do about it. Laura defines compassion fatigue as "the physical and mental erosion, the wearing down, of your hope, empathy, and compassion." It is something that develops overtime and can compromise our compassion for others as well as ourselves. Compassion fatigue is not a sin, failure, or weakness. It is a result of being a caring person and doing good work. It shows up when we haven't had the opportunity to refuel. Resources from Laura 10 Signs Your Experiencing Compassion Fatigue 7 Keys to Build Resilience More About Laura: Laura loves to equip you and your ministry team as you support and care for others in your community. Founder of Hope Made Strong and the Church Mental Health Summit Laura is a mental health clinician and community development strategist for

There are three rhythms that everyone in ministry should have: A rhythm of rest, rhythm of retreat, and a rhythm of review. Today we are going to talk more about the rhythm of review.   Effective ministry leaders have a regular rhythm of review...weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly. That may seem like a lot of reviewing! But you’d be surprised how transformative this practice is and it doesn’t take a particularly long time to do. Although you could spend hours if you’d like, setting aside just 30-45 minutes of intentional time to look back and remember what you committed to, what God did, what God said, reviewing how it went, and looking forward, seeking God on how He wants you to spend your time...it’s a game changer. It really helps you draw closer to God as you constantly seek Him and ask Him to speak to  you.   Last week we had a chance to look back, remember, thank God for all He has done and remember the things He’s asked of us that we haven’t done yet. Today we are looking ahead. So, grab your calen

How good are you at remembering? I'm sure you have a plan or strategy to make sure you remember all your "to-do's" for various things in life and ministry but this isn't the kind of remembering I'm talking about. How good are you remembering the Lord...what He has done, what He has spoken, how He has provided and protected? Throughout the scriptures we are constantly told to remember because we are people who are quick to forget. It is important to reflect and remember. This episode is being released the last Thursday of June which means the first half of the year is over, so it is the perfect time to do a mid-year review! Why? We don’t want to live by chance. We want to be strategic and intentional about following the path God has set out for us. Many of us take time to reflect and align ourselves to the movement of God at the beginning of the year which is great, but then we end up waiting until the entire year has passed before we check in with God about the things we felt so passionate about and the ways

Have you considered quitting ministry? If you have, you’re not alone. There are many pastors and ministry leaders who are considering whether or not it is time to go. A 2013 study from the Schaefer Institute reported that 1700 pastors leave the ministry each month, citing depression, burnout, or being overworked as the primary reasons. In 2019 a summary of surveys from Fuller Institute, Barna and Pastoral Care Inc. showed that 1500 clergy leave pastoral ministry every month. And just last week I saw a church leadership expert take a poll asking, “have you considered quitting in the last 14 months?” And a resounding 77% answered, “yes!” Thousands of pastors around the United States and around the world are ready to quit. If you are one of those people, what should you do? Remember that God loves you apart from what you do for Him, so if you quit, He will still love you completely!!! Sometimes when you feel like you want to quit, you really don't want to quit. There is something else going on. Be opened to wha

Do you struggle with embracing your gift of limits? Do you feel as though you are losing yourself on this journey of leadership? In our final episode [originally #20] of the BEST OF SERIES, I share my conversation with Pastor and friend Ashley Engle. During our time together we talked about the challenges of leadership and what we’d tell our younger selves to remember along the journey. It was a refreshing, healthy dialog about our need to embrace the gift of limits and the importance of giving ourselves permission to live in a way that honors how God has made us. There are so many things that Ashely shared that speak to me and my personal experience...and that's why I believe this episode has been listened to more than any other...because Ashley's struggle is our struggle. She gave voice to what we are going through. She was able to put into words what many of us could not or have been afraid to say. Connect with Jen If you need help creating a pace of ministry that accepts your gift of limits and gives yo

Do you feel like things are out of your control? Have you told yourself change will never come? We are in the middle of our BEST OF SERIES where we are replaying the most popular episodes of the podcast. Although this episode [45] originally aired last year, many things have remained the same. When the world seems out of control, it is tempting to believe that you've lost all control. However, that is simply not true. You have control over so many things! In this episode you are challenged to broaden your perspective and exercise the control that God has given you. Connect with Jen Women in Ministry United Website

Welcome to the BEST OF SERIES where we replay the most popular episodes of the podcast. We are starting off by talking about the feeling of discontent with who you are and what you do. This episode [17] originally aired in June of 2019. Many of us struggle with feels of discontent around who we are or what we do and we keep saying to ourselves, "there must be something more." In this episode, I confront our discontent with the assertion that our feelings stem from trying to be someone or something we were never meant to be. Could it be that your discontent is God’s way of stirring you and getting you out of the comfort zone that is keeping you from being the person He is calling you to be? Or could your restless be a by-product of the fatigue that comes from chasing a dream that was never yours? Connect with Jen Visit the Women in Ministry United website.

Planning time off...is that hard for you? Is it hard for you to intentionally take chunks of time and set them aside, designating them as time to step away and not be in charge? Is it hard for many people, including for me!   We'd rather get to a period of time where there is a lull...this quiet...this calm after the storm, where everything is checked off the list and taken care of...and THEN, then we'll decide to take time off. The problem is, that time never comes! There is always something. The only way that most of us will have time off is if we plan it in advance. Have you planned your time off? Do you have time set aside that will look different from the regular pace of life and ministry? Now's the time. Decide when you will have time off. Mark it off on your calendar now. Even if it is two days here, three days there...whatever works for you. But plan it now. If you don't decide how you'll use your time, other people will decide for you. Take control and plan for it ahead of time. Speaking of time off.

Do you ever go through the day just trying to keep up? Does it feel like you're running late and can't keep up? Does time get away from you? It is easy for the day to become hectic and to feel like you don't have enough time. But there are a few simple things that can help you plan your day to make it go as smooth as possible. Tips to Help You Plan Your Day Many people have said that a successful day starts the night before and there are a few things you can do before your day even begins: Look at the day ahead of time. This way you are not caught off guard by surprises and can plan thoughtfully and not on the fly. Make decisions the night before. Take the guess work out of as many things as possible and save yourself precious time and mental energy by making simple decisions the night before. For instance, what will you wear? What's for dinner? What will your workout be for the day? Whatever helps you get moving and keeps you moving! Connect with the people who will be part of your day. Have an appointment w

Do you remember the saying, "you can never have too much of a good thing?" Well, in some instances, that can spell disaster, particularly in ministry. We are a society that believes the larger the initiative, and the more you do, the better. But in many cases doing more means achieving less. An increased number of events and doing things on a grander scale gives us a false sense of effectiveness. This type of thinking extends beyond secular culture and has infiltrated the church and various ministry organizations as well. Many people who serve in ministry feel overloaded and fatigued. They go from one big project to the next. They are spread thin, and their leadership suffers. Instead of undertaking a few high-quality ventures that spur transformation, they crank out program after program that has minimal impact, leaving them and their people tired and overused. More+Bigger DOES NOT EQUAL Better! You can be a relevant church or ministry organization without overloading your team members and your calendar. You

Today, God invites you to open your heart and allow His word to be spoken over you to strength your soul. There is nothing required of you. No call to action. Just come and receive and know how much God delights in you and in this opportunity to love you today.

Trying to figure out how to manage all the expectations in ministry?  In this episode, we go deeper into what lies beneath expectations and what to do with them if they are something we can't do.  Key Points Shared What are expectations? Assumptions, presumptions Hopes What they think would happen in the future State of Anticipating Feeling of what should happen Where do they come from? Family, friends, neighbors, schools, people in the place of our ministry Formed and shaped by past experiences and personal definition of responsibilities. Things to consider. Are the expectations: conscious realistic spoken/written  agreed upon What do you do with them? Ask God about the condition of your heart and for His guidance. If it was not agreed upon, acknowledge this in a kind way by saying, "I didn’t know that’s what you were expecting" or simply, "I’m sorry, I am not able to do that." If it was agreed upon, start a conversation. Talk about it. This is what I can do...this is what I can’t do right now. OR I a

When it come to healthy boundaries, what gets in your way? This is a question I recently asked and the responses boiled down to 4 key things. I don't have a mentor. There is no one to help me figure out what this looks like and encourage me along the way. I don't know how to say no.  Am I allowed to say no? How do I do that? What do I say no to? I am genuinely interested in the things I am asked to do. I would enjoy it and honestly, I'd be good at it! I don't know how to manage all of the expectations. If any of these barriers get in your way, join me for the Margin Maker workshop. We'll help you get clear on your priorities, learn how to say "no," create a plan, shift your mindset and help you establish margin (which means you have to create healthy boundaries) for the long haul. Enrollment ends April 16th at 6:00p CT. Learn more HERE.

Does all that you do for God help you be your whole self? The answer should be yes, but many of us find that we end up losing ourselves along the way.  Too many great, godly women are leaving their ministry positions. Some may step out of the position of authority, while others stay but are dying on the inside. We say yes to God and our God given assignment but end up drifting to this place where we are not able to be the true, complete, whole person God called us to be.   Far too many times, while we begin ministry with enthusiasm and hope, it ends up consuming all of who we are and tends to put to death the other vital pieces of our lives. None of us wake up and think, "let's say yes to ministry but ignore every other piece of ourselves or neglect important relationships," but it can happen if we are not careful.    

What do you do when things look bleak in life and ministry? Do you try and fight? Do you fall back in despair? What do you hold on to as you sit at the foot of the cross in your suffering?   It is Maundy Thursday and today's episode is a special encouragement stemming from Jesus' last night before He was crucified. Things looked bleak. Pilate thought he had power and authority over the situation, able to sentence Jesus to death or set Him free.   "Then Jesus said, 'You would have no power over me at all unless it were given to you from above...' " John 19:11   Despite how it looked, things were going according to plan...and it was a good plan because God was the one in control.  

Do you have space between your load and your limits? Do you wish you had a way to increase your capacity in ministry? There is a way to do just that, but I've got to warn you, it's counterintuitive.   Make Margin   Margin builds capacity. The more margin we have the better we are as leaders, spouses, parents, friends, and neighbors. We become wiser in our decision-making. Making margin is one of the most powerful and courageous things we can do to thrive in life and ministry. Join the waitlist for our new Margin Maker workshop. It will give you the strategies you need to get the margin you want!

Most of us have too many things we are trying to get done in ministry, but even when we are only working on one thing, we get distracted.  In this episode of the podcast, I share a hack to help you get things done in ministry. If you want to increase your productivity and keep yourself from losing momentum, you won't want to miss it! Hint...Turn off your notifications! Instead of having a device tell you when you need to respond, take control and make the decision yourself.    If you are loving the podcast, don’t forget to subscribe on your favorite platform so you won’t miss a thing! And if this episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you would rate and review the show so that others can find it and join our community. Connect with Jen Join me at Women in Ministry United's Facebook page Instagram