Whoa!mance

Wherein Darcy unburdens himself in an epistle to the girl who won't have him. He's fine--thanks for asking! It's only 8am and he's only been lurking in the park waiting for Lizzie to chance by for a little over an hour. He's fine! What makes a manic pixie dream girl? How did Jane Austen know about them? And what makes declaring yourself punk rock? If anything?