Whoa!mance

Here it is, the last chapter. The bow tie. The final thoughts. The Darcy. The Rochester. The end.

Ready for some dark romance this holiday season? Sure you are! The days are short anyway. We've got a labrador retriever male main character who makes masked man thirst traps and does some stalking. And we've got a snarky female main character who loves those thirst traps and is looking for a little IRL action. Listen while Morgan and Isabeau untruss this popular bird, get at the juicy bits and carve out what makes this a mega romance audiobook hit.

Pride and Prejudice gets PENULTIMATE! In this, the second to last chapter of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, there are lots of sweet nothings and victory laps to be had. And the conversation begins circling the drain that leads to...romance novels?

Darcy and Lizzy need to tell the Bennets what's what

What webs we weave, indeed! This episode we attempt to unknot that cross-over of the century - the NINETEENTH century that is - PRIDE AND PROMETHEUS by JOHN KESSEL. Mary Bennet decides to take one last crack at life before resigning herself to spinsterhood and two people wind up dead. That's what happens when you pin your hopes to the saddest Swiss nerd at the ball. Especially when they have the kind of baggage that is super tall, speaks at least three languages, has committed murder in the name of loneliness, and is technically their child. Do the major differences of "Frankenstein" and "Pride and Prejudice" boil down to imagination vs. domesticity? Where is the fascination of sex to be found without love and affection? What can be made of men talking about women talking about men? Trigger warnings - we talk about anatomy, sterilization, murder, and miscarriages in this episode.

We're back, and we're going totally medieval on THE FALCON AND THE SWORD by PATRICIA WERNER for the final act of this Ice Wine season. Judith, the most normally named character in this whole book, abandons a convent to find herself in the kingdom of Neustria amongst a bunch of Franks who will never get her as a Visigoth. Along comes handsome-in-a-different-kind-of-white-way, advisor to the King of Austrasia to spark her interest, and then away he goes for the vast majority of the book until he returns in the fourth (eighth?) act to profess his love in the murder mystery cum Medieval slice of life this Romance Novel is. Why did romance in the 90s spend so much effort towards everything but character? What does the centering of small folk tell us about a place and time? What is the difference between Visigoths and Goths? Hope you've got a knee brace, because these Middle Ages are hard on your joints.

A Re!mance for an extremely special ocassion. Plus an update on Ice Wine Deux.

Naturopathic Practicioner Raven is thrown back into the measured embrace of regular, degular Dr. Jeff when she is accused of poisoning her clients. Because he loves her so darn much, and because it is obviously not her fault, and because it is 1997 and these things just happen, the McSteamy and Holistic Hottie team up to uncover the cause of this mystery illness and get infected with love along the way. Also with the mystery illness. What can a post-AIDS romance novel about disease teach us about Pandemic patterns? Are characters their jobs or is it just the Capitalism talking again? Can a person in 1996 be good, even if they are allergic to salad? Look out - there's gateway drugs in the echinacea!

Wherein Darcy and Elizabeth have one conversation and Darcy makes all men, and romance heroes look like fools for the next two hundred odd years. #ThanksJaneAusten

One last time to Nantucket before the cold winds blow! Free-spirited, head-strong Lizzie trades her youthful exuberance for matronly measure and stead-fastness in exchange for the love of one Tavis Mackinoon in 19th Century Nantuckey. Or...maybe "trades" has too much agency? What was America's perspective on history in the halcyon, Laura-Ashley-strewn days of 1994? How do we honestly feel about "blossoming"? How was the shape of women's identity and autonomy fraying against itselt? Try and remember the difference between port and starboard, we're setting sail in to some choppy waters with this one.

Mr Bennet receives a letter he can't wait to share with his favorite kid. Spiraling ensues

Ice Wine Deux launches LIVE and in style from Love's Sweet Arrow (in Tinley Park, IL) with a real bi-coastal bitch - A DANGEROUS MAN by ROSEMARY ROGERS. Tory doesn't care what her dad thinks, or her uncle, or even Sexy, Dark and mysterious "Texas Ranger" Nick Kincade. But she is forced to rely on the latter as she tries to escape her own Manifest Destiny on an adventure up proto-Pacific Coast Highway. And maybe even, fall in love? What does The Brat signify in the emergence of third-wave feminism? Does a romance hero even need to like the heroine? What IS wrong with a little bump'n'grind? Prepare to ford the river, and chill that red as much as possible. We're getting very wet for this one.

When the dog days of summer start barking, the cubes start clinking. Yr grls are revisiting their ICE WINE project, a time to interrogate texts published by and for a previous generation. This round, we're pouring (over ice, of course): A DANGEROUS MAN by ROSEMARY ROGERS HEAVEN KNOWS by ELAINE COFFMAN FEVER RISING by MAGGIE FERGUSON But Whoa!mance needs your help choosing between THE DRAGON AND THE JEWEL by VIRGINIA HENLEY or THE FALCON AND THE SWORD by PATRICIA WARNER so be sure to vote on our Instagram or email whoamancemail@gmail.com It is Ice Wine Season - do you know where your Newt Gingrich is?

Knock knock! Who's there? Why! It is Catherine De Burgh! Here to rip Lizzie a new one while Jane and Bingley canoodle in the shrubbery. The worst part is? No one even visits the hermitage. That was here the whole time???? A split decision on this chapter folks, with a scathing rating of three out of five stars from one of our readers. Metadrama and metaconflict abounds.

Monty is all set up for one sexy summer when he embarks on his Grad Tour with hot friend he's falling for, Percy. But this would-be teen sex comedy get real weird as Monty and Percy face a vengeful duke, a sinking crypt, a dead alchemists lonely adult children, their own marginalized identities, and falling in puppy love! What does it look like to write conscientious historical romance, effectively? Can anyone tell the difference between an adventure story, a romance, and bildungsroman? And, PLEASE! SOMEBODY! What even is "Young Adult"??? Light the braziers and tune up your crystals - we're turning lead into gold for real on this one!

In chapter 55 Bingley stops by Longbourne, again. And again. And again. What is he UP to?

We did it. We watched Bridgerton Season 3. And it hurt our feelings. Join us as we excavate the societal wounds that have led to this latest outing in the Bridgerton universe.

Elizabeth and Darcy are finally in a room together at another party and then... Well and then Morgan threatens to quit the project. Tune in to find out why!

Entrepreneur? I hardly know her! This week your girls are discussing whether or not THE DUKE GETS DESPERATE by DIANA QUINN can stand on business. Raya just wanted to meet a penpal. Strick just wanted to own his Ducal castle. Instead, they end up in bed together - business-style! And also the other way. While Raya tries to get over the betrayal of her brother forcing her out of the business she helped build back in New York, The Duke of Strickland is trying to get over the betrayal of his father willing the family castle to her cousin (who then died mysteriously and willed it to Raya). But you know what they say, the best way to get over one capitalist venture is to get under another. But when the worlds of tourism, real estate, and The Nobility collide, sparks might fly. Can one appreciate a novel that isn't meant for them, politically? What if the politics are like thiiiiis close? Is a murder plot really necessary? Get the permits and a good respirator. We're going to take this one down to the studs.

We did it. We figured it out--in a far reaching conversation which starts when Mrs. Bennet comes out as a surprising mama bear for Lizzie, and Lizzie hates...every...second of it...we discover a few things. This book doesn't have enough affection for other women, and it's not wet enough. Come probe the spongy depths of our thinking as we tackle Bingely's return to Netherfield Park! Shut up Jane we know you're excited! Stop lying!