Regular Features

*CLANK CLANK CLANK* That's the sound of the ol' Feature machine cranking into life. *GONK GONK GONK* Look! It's producing features at a rate of knots! *FART* It's Steve's food riddles! *FART* Log's gone deaf and thinks he's a superboy! *FART* Joe feels sorry for a chef! *FRRRRRRK* Oh Christ, another zero-hour contractor fell in the workings. *GAAAAAAAAAA* oh my gOD RUN YOU IDIOTS RUN