Across The Desk With Elizabeth Plouffe

On this episode of the Future Looks Good, we meet Jason Bean. Jason is one of the most resilient people and persistent learners I've ever met. Today we get to peel pack some layers of the onion that is Jason and find out how he made the transition from "you can't do that" to "I'll show you" without completely losing his Ogre in the process ;)

Why does society get to dictate how people express their emotions? Excellent question. Let's discuss ;)

Do you deny your pink? Do you mask to fit in? We're talking embracing the things in life that make you happy vs worrying about what other dingalings think you should be. Someone wants you to fit in? That's a them issue, not a you issue. Are you getting grief about what colors you choose to wear? Also a them issue. We're chatting about our "roles" in life and how sometimes that needs to roll away ...

Maddy and I began this podcast talking about coffee. The beans of the gods for some folks. Or is it? Is it the beans or the moment you take for yourself to do something just for you? That moment of comfort. And then I said, Should we press record. Maddy said yes and now you have whole podcast dedicated to why finding what gives you comfort and not letting others judge you out of it is so important!

What if we started looking at change as a pivot? Looking at our existing skills and building on them instead of thinking we have to learn a whole new set of skills? Pivoting isn't just a funny Friends meme - it's a tactic used in business and many other places when what we're doing just isn't working for us anymore.

Have you ever tried something brand spanky new? Something different than anyone else in your network? Something that causes you to feel uncomfortable? Good! The feelings that come along with that are a human response to doing something brave. Unless you are lying your face off, you are not an imposter. You are just kicking ass and taking names ;)

The C word. I'm sure some of you thought cancer. Some thought something I can't type here without getting censored. And some just wondered, what the heck does this mean??? Without context, it's hard to understand ;)

I had a GREAT description written and then Soundcloud messed it up! Now my expertise is in writing and crafting messaging but that doesn't mean I want to rewrite this one ;) Today we're talking about the value of lived experience and owning the title of expert if it fits you. It's a bit of a journey to get there but the other value is that if you can find a way to share your voice and expertise, then you make change happen. People who have no lived experience in some areas should NOT be in charge of creating policy, programs or other opportunities without folks with lived experience being involved. And much like how you can't pay an architect for their experience using gift cards, lived experience experts should also get paid. If you valued someone enough to ask for their opinion / expertise, then it's valuable enough to pay for ;)

Sometimes navigating the world of autism can be a dark and lonely place for many people. Those diagnosed and those along for the ride to support the individual. The ever lovin' Maddy came up with the PERFECT analogy to describe what that wild ride can be like. Today's a shorty podcast but we expand on it next session. Don't miss it!

Once again, Betty and I get in to a non-podcast podcast where Betty starts talking smarticles and all I did was ask a damn question. Jeepers. We talk about the anticipatory energy brought to a conversation which can either go smoothly or become a conflict depending on how we show up. Then we leap to change: who should start? More importantly, why should someone else change when you aren't willing to budge your arse a bit? I'll let Betty explain the smart stuff ;) I just come along for comic relief.

What do we ramble on about on this episode? When I listened back while editing, I had to message Maddy because we covered SOOOO much that all tied back to communication and personal space. We touch on how trauma influences how we engage in certain situations. How our lenses on life can contribute or get in the way of belonging. How personal space, a valuable pandemic lesson, needs to be remembered. And how if you're at a conference and you stop suddenly to check your farking phone that SOME people might view that as an opportunity to go Free Guy on your butt ;) Just sayin'.

One thing I've always struggled with is putting value on lived experience. Not that it doesn't have value but how do you get paid for it? How do you get others to recognize it? If you think I've struggled, I've got nothing on the autism community. Tokenism is not paying someone a fair value in exchange for sharing lived experience. If it's valuable enough to ask for, it's valuable enough to pay for ;)

Socrates, Suzy's, Robert's and more. We get in to the necessity of having variety on a team and particularly so when dealing with the neurodivergent community. If you're a service provider and you've hired yourself a team of Suzy's, that all meet the same hiring criteria and wouldn't know the Socratic method of teaching if the philosopher himself walked up to you and used it, you need to listen to this podcast. Your clients would LOVE you to listen to this podcast. Trust us ;)

Adulting was hard on the day we recorded this podcast. HARD I tell you. But as usually Betty pulled up their socks and dragged me along for an insightful, vulnerable and honest to goodness learning session on setbacks. They do have value as long as you try to learn from them and don't let them keep you mired in the muck for too long. A little pity party? We all have them. Moving in to Pitytown? Well that's just no good for anybody ;)

Do you get sick and tired of people treating your autistic kid or your autistic self as someone who's incapable of doing just about anything? It really grates my cheese when people make assumptions about my son's capabilities and Maddy's cheese is equally grated for themselves and their kids. Sometimes it's just about capacity and understanding the expansiveness of it and the reasonable constraints. And the new profile photos? I got to give Maddy a huge hug at the recent Autism Leadership Summit and we both agree that Drag Queens are the bomb. Since we forgot to get a picture taken together, I'm mixing it up ;)

The word should is one that really grates my cheese. And not in a delicious mac and cheese way but in a ticks me off way. Should implies that what you're doing is wrong and the person who's saying it? Their way is better. Should creates limits when it becomes shouldn't. As the parent of an autistic individual I have banished should and my lovely co-host Maddy has done the same thing for their kids. Find out why should's are shitty and should be banished for good!

Have you ever been sick and then spent weeks catching up from that??? Shortly after we recorded this AMAZING episode, Elizabeth got COVID. She got it goooood. And she's been catching up ever since. So while this Holiday glitterati inspired podcast is late, it can be applied to birthday parties, summer gatherings, graduations and more. Because a party isn't a party until Uncle Jerrycan gets loud and someone has a meltdown ;)

We all have things we need to work on. For some it's talking to loud or too much (that's a me thing, hence the podcast) for others it's refusing to bathe and for some it's about whether they can rock a tiara. It's all about how we show up in the world and how we communicate our needs around that. Sometimes it's not about not wanting to take a shower - it's that the soap stings our skin. Sometimes it's not about thinking we're better than other people - it's that today we felt like rocking a sparkly tiara. Whatever the situation, it can usually be solved by getting curious, not furious (to quote Stephen Covey).

Meet Whitney Hodgins, an autistic Canadian who is a change maker and policy shaker! Learn more about the inaugural Jim and Jinette Munson Award winner who is absolutely a leader in the autism community and someone I plan to keep an eye for great things ;)

I am a proud Monarchist. I come from a long line of Monarchists. It's not for everybody and I respect that. What caught me unawares was the level of grief I'd feel at the death of Her Majesty. Of course Maddy and I went off on a bit of a tangent instead of our scheduled topic but we both see value in embracing the moment vs strictly adhering to a topic. So here's our chat on grief, the process, embracing your process and getting through the tough times.