Mistress Matisse's Podcast

Twisted Monk Talks About Responding To Recent Fetlife Controversy Mistress Matisse listens and talks with Twisted Monk, as he discusses the problems of women on Fetlife being targeted for data-scraping and reposting by online harassers, and possible responses that users can make to that. This is a serious topic, and it is intended to spark more conversations. For example: how can we create more safety for people online? And how do we respond to businesses who claim to be part of the BDSM community, but aren't responsive to the needs of that community?About 16 minute

This is an informal test podcast, about 12 minutes. Monk and I talk about one time when I walked in on him when he was getting ready for a BDSM session in my space, and the things were not...quite what I expected. #sexwork #BDSM

BDSM techniques, in today’s new podcast: Monk and I talk about putting Altoids mints and Listerine Breath Strips in female pink parts. Naturally, I talk some about boy bits as well. Plus, why you’ll want some milk on hand for this type of play. About nine minutes, not work safe!

Monk and I have a brief discussion about our ability to fight off an attack by maniacal clowns. Then we answer a letter from a woman who wants to be a sex worker, and who made the mistake of asking strippers for advice about being an escort. So, thoughts about sex work hierarchies, and how sex work businesses are like Fight Club. Hope it’s educational…  

In this episode, Monk and I briefly discuss how the Zombie Apocalypse would affect my diet Mountain Dew consumption. A letter from a dominant woman who feels nervous about her scenes. Key point: she’s eighteen years old. How should a young kinky person build confidence?   And I also have to blow a kiss to Monk, because this is the Official Weeklong Celebration of His Birth! No mere birthDAY for Monk, no no! He has a week! (Perhaps longer, if the bourbon and cute girls hold out.) So Happy BirthWeek to you, sweetheart!  

In this podcast, Monk and I riff about phallic microphones and then read and discuss a letter from a reader pondering how to begin a polyamorous relationship. How do you treat the other significant others?

Time for another podcast! In this one, Monk reads an original poem – or at least, we hope it is original – sent to him by a reader. And he reads it in the voice of William Shatner, because the William Shatner-voice makes everything better.   Moving on, we read a letter from a kinky person asking basically, how to keep a pleasant sexual tension alive in a long-term relationship. This is a type of question that we get a lot, so we both have plenty to say about it. As a man who’s been happily married for over twenty years, Monk waxes particularly eloquent. High point: he compares BDSM to Pokemon. I’m serious.   About fourteen minutes.  

Another podcast, and another riff from Monk about how I’m playing with my nipple. Even though I’m not.    Then letters: a letter from a listener asking about jealousy and a three-way. Threesomes are fraught with peril, in my opinion. The best threesome experiences I have had were in situations where no one was in a couple. Three single people, in other words. An established couple plus one? That’s a very tricky situation. Monk and I step through some of the ways it could happen.   Next, a question from a BDSM person who’s wondering about how to answer a friend’s question, “Am I cut out to be a slave?”   The last letters asks, “Is it fair for a people in a polyamory group to veto the partners of other partners?” Monk and I both have some opinions about the term “veto” and making rules that create the illusion of control over other people.   About twenty minutes.  

A new podcast! First of all, I was not playing with my nipple while we were recording, all right? Let the record show. The bomb shelter we’re doing these things in is freezing cold, so I was actually wearing a leather jacket. A motorcycle-style jacket, so that’s two layers of leather over my chest. You could not have found my nipple with a sonogram. That’s just Monk being silly. Our first question is a letter from someone who asks what to do when you’re caught in a sexy, kinky situation and you want to do bondage, but you have no rope? Monk and I free associate about improvised bondage equipment. (We did not use the microphone cables for bondage though. The sound guys frown on that.) Then a BDSM newcomer asks: explain to me why I should get involved with the BDSM community? The short answer is: they’ll teach you things you might not otherwise know, and they’ll be support for you when things are tough. Lastly, a sex worker asks a question about emotional relationships with clients. It’s a nuanced issue, and

A new podcast! Monk and I answer your questions about primary/secondary partners in polyamory  – can one person in a relationship in a “primary” and the other person be a “secondary”? The seconds question is about dealing with unexpected interruptions during a scene. The last question: how do you introduce yourself to a celebrity (like me, but definitely not limited to me), and general social tips for BDSM culture. By popular request, we’ve gone to a slightly longer format for this one, it’s about eighteen minutes. Not at all safe for work!  

A new podcast! We answer a letter from someone who is new at being the top in a scene, and who is struggling with playing with people who don’t disclose important medical/emotional before the scene. Short answer: it's not perfect, but people do that. Roll with it.  Then we hear from someone who wants to know how to cover bruises, so we talk about that some. I talk about my stripper days of putting make-up on my ass… And mention some other kinky activities that leave marks on socially-visible areas of the body. Enjoy listening!

This one's a lulu. Now, let me say that Monk and I are practitioners of safer safe, and we want to help people learn how to do safer sex. We are sympathetic to people who are nervous about STDs. That said, there is a right way and a wrong way to handle this conversation with a new partner, and in this show, we read a letter from someone who did it the wrong way!

<!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> Monk starts off with a letter from a sex worker asking about how to handle curious phone calls. I’m embarrassed to say that the word “motorboat” is mentioned. I also mention my oft-repeated bit of sex work advice, “Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want read out loud in court.” Then we hear from a reader who thinks that only male dominants (not female ones) get teased, or harshly critiqued. I laugh for a while, and then I explain how that’s not

I wasn’t going to upload this last podcast. But Monk says I’m being silly. And lord knows, I need the blog-content, I've been way too busy to write much lately.So, I am ignoring a voice in the back of my head that says it’s slightly undignified. Unladylike, in fact.Yes, I know – I don’t feel the slightest qualm about posting photos of myself sticking needles in people. That's perfectly dignified. It's kinky, but it's not undignified.But I do feel that it is slightly undignified to post slightly-tipsy rants about one of my pet topics: Crazy People And Sex Work.Just to be clear – thank you, President Obama – I am not disclaiming the basic opinions I express here. I just wish I had voiced them a trifle less profanely and a trifle less… stridently. Whoops.There's also a whole side conversation about fisting, in which I make an ill-advised personal disclosure.Thus, I bring to a close the era of cocktails while podcasting. Enjoy us in all our ranty glory, the next round will be far more calm, sober and public-radio

<!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> First letter: when to disclose to a potential new partner that you are poly, if they don’t know already.And then: dealing with weirdness from your partner’s other partners. (AKA “metamours”.)

In this podcast, we do a lot of silly banter about needles and being naked in bed, and then Monk reads a letter about how to do fast, easy rope bondage during a resistance play scene, and I make some comments about securing someone who is larger than you. After that, I verbally slap around someone who wants me to do their kinky thinking for them. About 16 minutes.

Questions about Polyamory: Time-management for poly people: how many partners is too many? And the difficulty of finding polyamorous partners when you're young. (Meaning: in your twenties.)

After way too long of an interval - blame it on our busy schedules - Monk and I got together in the zombie-proof sound studio and recorded some silly rants. This one is a little short, only about seven minutes. It's a letter from a reader who asks about sustaining BDSM energy in a long-term relationship. Enjoy!

In this one, Monk and I read letters about polyamory. First we talk about the not-so-good idea of comparing your partners. "Why can't Partner B be more like Partner A." Then Monk talks a little about his wife Tambo - and explains why he hardly ever talks about her. (Hint: She is Keyser Soze.)

In this podcast, first we read a letter about safewords, and make mention of my two favorite safewords: vomit and lawsuit. I promise, those two words will capture any top's attention, anytime.We also talk about the challenges of doing BDSM with a partner who is hearing-impaired. I make a verbal slip at one point that I must correct: I mistakenly say, "They can hear ME," which is not what I meant. I meant: a hearing-impaired person can talk, and I can hear THEM. Whoops.