Authentically You-richard & Cheri Himmer

Do you live with or know someone who seems clueless to the world around them? This segment addresses the life of being clueless and those who deal with cluelessness.

Florence was/is Cheri's best friend. They were college roommates and I met them at the same time at a university dance. Florence passed away recently after 7 years fighting ovarian cancer. Cheri remembers Florence and her quest for happiness.

Is love a principle, application, or a result (feeling)? Once the principle is understood, one can develop and follow applications that are specifically designed for success. An application is personal and not meant for others.

Living a principle-based life is admirable on the assumption that you know what a principle is. In this episode, we unzip the principle, application, and results of love. Love is universal, or is it?

Terresa Fagan James is our guest. She is Cheri’s health coach. She shares some challenges to weight loss and we collectively discuss how to address the challenges.

Once you’ve practiced and become skilled at naming behavior, recognizing your body brains, and noticing the energy associated with maladaptive behavior, you use the “What if…” process to bypass the critical faculty and create the foundation for change. This is the integration of the upstairs and downstairs brains.

There are three areas of behavior to start your behavior research. Cognitive distortions, the Drama Triangle, and Rules of Engagement. Become the Sherlock Holmes of social interactions. Self-awareness leads to self-regulation.

What drives false narratives? What is epigenetics? How to name behavior. Using research to increase self-awareness and develop a system for healing.

I grew up being guilt-leveraged (shame based parenting, teaching etc.) and most everything I did seemed like it was a sin according to the adults in my life. What if focusing on the sin is dysfunctional and not productive? For every sin there is a cause. You address the cause you stop the sin. Seems to make more sense.

Conclusion of trigger buster. Being aware of sounds, smells, words, phrases, people, positions, etc. Cheri practices a trigger busting protocol in mindfulness.

How to better understand the role of expectations in our triggers and addictions. Using two case studies, one about Cheri's mom, who was a human time vacuum, and the story of the toilet seat. Why are men always wrong when it comes to the toilet seat?

Full review of addiction, trigger-reaction-consequence vs. cue-respond-reward, immaculate perception and the trigger busting process

Expectations are a guaranteed pathway to frustration, especially when they are based on how you want things to be (Expectation B) instead of how things have always been (Expectation A). After you discern the difference, you practice acceptance for perceived dysfunctional behavior.

How to change your position from reactive (trigger to flooded) to responsive (cue’d to reward) in three steps. It’s time to preplan going into fight or flight. In other words, how to preplan being a jerk and then not being a jerk.

While in isolation, cloistered in the darkness of his room and skipping dinner, Bobby gets a phone call from Brenda excited to see him, having just woken up for a needed nap. Whoops! Bobby’s journey from being triggered to flooded has created unnecessary anxiety and family drama.

Bobby’s girl friend, Brenda, has found another love. OR has she? Is it possible that Bobby is making up something that doesn’t exist because he’s flooded and his immaculate perception has created multiple prediction errors?

Jillian’s intervention with Buck and her challenges to the team and to Buck.

The profile of an accidental bully. How to use emotional intelligence with your co-workers.

Three challenges for management, 1) the perception that it’s important to wield a heavy hand, 2) myth that the title endows greater intelligence, 3) the reality that we are all hard wired to connect.

Understanding the importance of paradoxical behaviors (i.e. tough vs. love). The principle of creating safe space and Dr. Himmer’s 24-hour challenge.