Elton Reads A Book A Week

This is my first ever "Short-isode", a shorter format episode that I did quickly. Please forgive me. Okay, okay, I'm behind. I tried to to reach for the sun and got burned. Luckily, I managed to get this together, so all hope is not lost. I promise I'll do better next time. Until then, this peace offering about weird taxes, and weird political promises, plus MUSIC! The next full episode about the book "American Carnage" by Tim Alberta, will be up very soon. Here are the lyrics to the song "American Carnage" (American decay): "From the ashes of Bush, the ratings slung low, Obama rose up, and stole the whole show G-O-P party's in ruins, no vision, no fight Their base fell asleep and has been there all night. [PRE-CHORUS] Bombs away, by progress on display, Change hit the right like a brick to the face. Factions at war, blood on the walls, A billonaire bullshitter grabbed them by the balls [CHORUS] American Carnage, for American decay, Marching to the edge, to throw it all away American Carnage,

Dating in the age of the internet is a weird endeavor. All of the indulgence of endless choices, and the anxiety of communicating with people rolled into one. What's a single person to do? Luckily, comedian Aziz Ansari wrote a book about it and Elton is here to talk about it. Does that help you find that special someone in this sea of misfit toys? Maybe? Elton's no "love doctor," but he is awkward enough for everyone involved. Listen to this episode and get a wild ride through modern dating, and some tips on how to improve your odds! GET THE BOOK HERE!--> Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE: Elton Reads A Book A Week Patreon Tips! SOCIAL MEDIA! https://linktr.ee/EltonReadsABookAWeek EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.com The following section is reserved for the people, places, things, and more that Elton probably offended in this episode-- THE APOLOGIES SECTION: The LGBTQ+ community, mouth fingering fetishists, the English language, sociologists, dating, God

Okay, so, I got a little overzealous with my first attempt at this trailer...and I uploaded it without making sure everything was up to snuff. So, I'm re-doing it. Not gonna lie, it's not the first time I've released prematurely, and it won't be the last, I'm sure.

God, himself, announced her birth, with a lightning bolt and a peal of thunder,...and that's just a footnote. Bette Davis would redefine what it was to be an actress, and an actor overall. She was tough, determined, and principled at a time when men laid down the law in Hollywood. When she took her stand, women were seen as little more than eye candy, and using them to make a quick buck ruled the day. Bette was having none of that. From her earliest beginnings to her last days, Bette Davis knew she was special, and she was determined to let the world know it. Sure, we're familiar with that personality type, but Bette had the talent and drive to back it up. Confident, opinionated, and never afraid to fight for what she felt was right, Bette changed how actors saw themselves and their profession. She slapped around Hollywood, and walked away an icon. Join Elton as he tries to navigate the early life of the amazing Bette Davis, and trying his best not to crap his pants in the process. GET THE BOOK HERE!

Buckle Up for Laughs & Feels! Elton Reads "Friends, Lovers & the Big Terrible Thing," well, "has read" and will tell you about it! This one is a doozy. Hold onto your coffee mugs, "Friends" fans, you're about to get rocked with some tragi-comedy! Elton tackles Matthew Perry's memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," on Elton Reads A Book A Week. Was Chandler funny IRL? Did Matthew Perry steal Elton's woman? How many Vicodin is a lot? We uncover the life of Matthew Perry, and delve into overcoming addiction with humor, and ask: is Chandler more like Matthew than we thought? Tune in for a must-listen episode! #Friends #MatthewPerry #ComedyPodcast #MemoirReview #EltonReadsABookAWeek GET THE BOOK HERE: https://amzn.to/3WJ9kfK BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE: https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://anchor.fm/elton-reads-a-book-a-week SOCIALS: https://linktr.ee/EltonReadsABookAWeek EMAIL: eltonreadsabookawe

Grumpy Genius? Hilarious Curmudgeon? You Decide! We Dissect Andy Rooney Ever wonder what goes through the mind of a 70-year-old man with a microphone? This week on Elton Reads A Book A Week, we delve into the life, career, and written word of the iconic (and sometimes infamous) Andy Rooney. Through the exploration of his book "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney" we'll get to the bottom of questions like: Was he a grumpy genius who held a mirror to society's quirks? Or a hilarious curmudgeon who made us laugh at the absurdity of the everyday? Join us as we unpack: Rooney's Rise to Fame: From WWII reporter to newspaper writer to "60 Minutes" curmudgeon, we explore his unlikely path to superstardom. The Power of the Postscript: We dissect Rooney's signature segment and analyze its enduring comedic appeal. Love Him or Hate Him? The Legacy of Andy Rooney: We debate his impact on journalism and comedy, and ask: is his brand of humor still relevant today? Prepare for laugh-out-l

In this episode we explore the life and writing of a founding father of hardcore punk, Henry Rollins. A man that dove head first into his life and has become...almost everything. He's a punk rock and music legend, a movie start, writer, television host, a producer, DJ, a reporter, an interviewer, and so, so much more. We'll also delve into one of his books and along the way discover the greatest neighborhood ever imagined, how to seize life's reins, and beat the hell out of ice cream store customers. Join me for "Before the Chop III" by Henry Rollins, I promise you'll never look at circumcision the same way again. You heard me. GET THE BOOK HERE: Before the Chop III Kindle Edition BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR HERE: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/elton-reads-a-book-a-week SOCIALS: ⁠https://linktr.ee/EltonReadsABookAWeek ⁠ EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.com MUSIC: "Bass Vibes", "Walking Along" Kevin MacLeod (inco

Welcome to 1978! The year of Garfield, Van Halen, Lego, and a murder mobile named "Christine. In this episode humor meets horror as Elton embarks on a comedic journey through the pages of Stephen King's iconic novel, 'Christine.' Buckle up for a rollercoaster of killer laughs, and deadly driving as he explores the eerie world of a possessed car with a wicked sense of humor. Good. God...with the puns. Discover Elton's unique take on the classic thriller, as he delves into a devilish story with a touch of dark absurdity laced witty commentary, hilarious anecdotes, and side-splitting insights. Whether you're a die-hard Stephen King fan or just looking for a good laugh, this episode promises entertainment, factoids and that are equal parts spooky and hilarious. Tune in and get ready to laugh your way through the supernatural twists and turns of 'Christine'! GET THE BOOK HERE: https://amzn.to/3rabgAD BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE: https://www.patreon.com/elto

Great Expectations, the story of a boy who turns into a man while being surrounded by a**holes, gets the Elton Reads A Book A Week treatment! Join Elton on a trip down Dickensian way before meeting up with a prime example of Victorian drama. It's weirder than you think. The life of Charles Dickens starts like many did in the Georgian Era of England's history...crap. He was a sickly kid from a big, poor family. Then, as he got older and his entire family was thrown in debtor's prison, he was factory bound. There he learned to love to hate every day! Later, he learns to spin sh*t into gold. Listen for more... Thank you for listening! GET THE BOOK HERE: https://amzn.to/44H2ZT5 BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR HERE: https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://anchor.fm/elton-reads-a-book-a-week FOLLOW THE PODCAST HERE: https://linktr.ee/EltonReadsABookAWeek EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.com THE APOLOGIES SECTION Elton would like to apologize to the following people, places, and things: The Dicke

As a little break in the booky-book episodes I thought I'd kick out something different. Here's a preview of a series I'll be putting on Patreon. It's a limited series about The Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse meeting every Saturday to end the world as, you find out, they've been doing for millennia...and still haven't done it. This is the first of a lot of Jovial Horsemen scripts I wrote years ago. Enjoy the free preview, folks! Oh, when posted on Patreon, everything is ad free, including these. Also, there's a little slider at the bottom when I post these that lets you call an upload a "bonus." I'm going to try it. I don't know what's going to happen, so...hopefully it all works out. If not, I'll change it back...if I can. Fingers crossed. Let me know what you think! I'll include a poll via Spotify to let me know directly...or email me at: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.com OR via any of the social media things. You can also contribute to the pod via P

Content Warning: Suicide This episode discusses suicide and may be distressing for some listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling, seek help from a mental health professional or a helpline in your country, which can be reached by dialing 988 if you're in the United States or if you're online via https://988lifeline.org/ You are not alone, and support is available. Listener discretion is advised. Elton as he explores the life and tragic end of Sylvia Plath, her work, her impact, and especially her book "Ariel", considered by many to be one of the greatest poetic works of the 20th century...and all while running into so many inexplicable bee coincidences. So, so many bees. Oh, and laughs, there's a couple of those too. GET THE BOOK HERE: https://amzn.to/43Bidbd BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE: https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://anchor.fm/elton-reads-a-book-a-week SOCIALS: https://linktr.ee/EltonReadsABookAWeek EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@g

Jean Shepherd is a man with a famous past in the largely "Who the f*ck is he?" present. Yet, you've probably heard the gruff timbre of his voice every year since you were a kid and enjoyed his work for decades, literally. Born on an unspecified date, in a town that might be in Illinois or Indiana, Jean Shepherd made up a world that people actually believed was real. Created a story that may have created an entirely new genre, and remade Christmas forever. Or...until videos are no longer shared. AND he warned us about the dangers of blinding ourselves with BB guns. Join Elton as he explores his life of a forgotten raconteur and his amazing stories! Plus, he tries to raise the dead and may even succeed. Listen to find out how and why! GET THE BOOK HERE: https://amzn.to/3Loz5ut BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE: https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://anchor.fm/elton-reads-a-book-a-week SOCIALS: https://linktr.ee/EltonReadsABookAWeek EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.com SOURCE

When I say the word “ocean”, what do you think about? For me, it's a mix of fascination and abject terror. I'd chock that up to my innate ability to sink in almost any body of water and/or liquid...and my fear of dying in it. That and if I go in too far and can’t feel the bottom, I freak out a little. It’s because I picture all the giant man eating monsters that definitely are swimming all around and beneath me, so, I panic and move back to shallower waters. In this episode, we're going to meet one of those nightmares and find out just how close we are to being it's next meal! GET THE BOOK HERE: https://amzn.to/40uWUXU BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE: https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://anchor.fm/elton-reads-a-book-a-week SOCIALS: https://linktr.ee/EltonReadsABookAWeek EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.com SOURCES: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cephalopod_attack https://www.thebermudian.com/heritage/heritage-heritage/isles-of-a-thousand-wrecks/ https://s

Elton navigates the action packed weirdness that is "The Devil's Black Rock." It's a story so insane it defies logic. When you start in rural Arizona desert with a prospector trying to make ends meet, and end with selling nuclear bomb material to Nazis, there's bound to be a lot of wholesale killing in between. If Doc Savage is involved, it's practically guaranteed. Join Elton as he carves out a path through the insane hellscape that is a story set in the Doc Savage universe. There are nuclear bombs, killer dogs with poison tipped metal jaws, a cannon firing at the Empire State Building, bombs in the streets of New York, bullet proof penthouse windows, a real life unsolved mystery, and more. Plus, Elton gets it in his head that Doc Savage and The whole Fabulous Five could possibly be the world's first gay superheroes. What's that all about? Listen and find out. Enjoy the show! GET THE BOOKS HERE: https://amzn.to/3knQBoG GET David Avallone's Doc Savage BOOK HERE: htt

Batman, Superman, and The Avengers have the same bronze daddy or great-grandpa. One of those. The first episode of a new year and this one is a doozy. Doc Savage, a character that fueled the 1930s and 40s pulp craze, is beyond belief, which is understandable. He was created to be just that. Prolific author Lester Dent made Doc to be the greatest human being on Earth, almost Christ like. If only he had used his own f*cking name when he wrote about him. Join Elton as he dives into the origins of a character that would inspire Batman, Superman, The Avengers, The Hulk, and more. The first order of business, is how Doc Savage even happened in the first place. AND NO MORE TWO PARTERS!!! (Well,...unless they're absolutely necessary.) GET THE BOOKS HERE: https://amzn.to/3knQBoG LISTEN TO "WORDS ABOUT BOOKS"! https://podcast.wordsaboutbooks.ninja/ BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book CONTRIBUTOR HERE: https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://anchor.fm/elton-reads-a-book-a-week SOCIALS: https://linktr.ee/EltonRead

Join Elton in the exciting conclusion to Hitler's Holy Relics in which we find our hero, Walter Horn and his silent, but deadly sidekick Eugene "Stone Blood, Death Comes For Us All" Dollar, as they hunt down the perpetrators of Crown Jewel thievery! Intense interrogation action, while busting Nazis high and low--ALL while screaming, "WHERE ARE THE JEWELS!?" Will there be deceit? Yes.  Will there be Nazis? Yes.  Will they get killed? Yes--well, a lot of them will, but not all of them. Will there be inappropriate tangents? Um...yeah, probably, sorry about that. Will all quotes attributed to Winston Churchill be accurate? Yes, to the best of my knowledge and imagination. Will there be another deletion of this episode description and another rewrite? F%ck I hope not. Listen to it all now in this part two episode! Listen, share, rate and review! Thank you, thank you. GET THE BOOK HERE! https://amzn.to/3SwKY34 BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR HERE: https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://anchor.fm/elton-

A secret bunker, a cultural treasure, and a special sharp stick that poked Jesus that could help you rule the world?!! Who else but Hitler would be responsible for that odd grouping of nonsense? Who else would be stupid enough to lose it? Join Elton as he recounts the tale of Walter Horn and his hunt for a priceless national treasure stolen by Hitler, but post World War II, became lost to the world.   Lt. Walter Horn, an Army interrogator during WWWII discovers the location of the Crown Jewels of Austria while questioning a German soldier. Little did he know it would send him on a race against time to find the treasure. Hoping to get it before they're melted down or became the subject of a worldwide tug of war between war worn countries looking for payback...or both, he's given only 21 days to find it.  Will he? Listen to find out.  Thank you for listening.  GET THE BOOK HERE: https://amzn.to/3SwKY34 BE SURE TO GIVE THIS PODCAST A FIVE STAR RATING AND REVIEW ON YOUR PODCAST PLAYER OF CHOIC

Enter the realm of what it is to be perfect or close to it anyway. Join Elton as he explores one of the only ways a person can attain perfection. It's not as easy as you think.  APOLOGIES SECTION: Elton would like to apologize to the following people, places, and things: Major League Baseball, James Buckley Jr., Medical professionals from the 1800s, Ty Cobb, New Yorkers and their infants, statisticians, baseball fans with a penchant for politeness but, an inability to recognize personal space, Sandy Koufax. An additional apology for anyone that was left out. GET THE BOOK HERE: https://amzn.to/3VYFVLz CONTRIBUTE: [[PATREON CONTRIBUTORS GET ACCESS TO AN EXTENDED EDITION OF THIS EPISODE]] https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://anchor.fm/elton-reads-a-book-a-week SOCIALS: https://linktr.ee/EltonReadsABookAWeek ((A special thanks to Diedrich Bader and Jenna Fischer.)) MUSIC (Thank you, Kevin Macleod.) Elevator Music by Tim Kulig Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/8872-elevator-music License:

"What If?" by Robert Cowley is one of the greatest books you've never heard of. It's not fiction or science fiction but, could probably inspire both. A collection of essays written by historians that were asked "What if the outcome of one historical military event changed? What would happen?"  What if everything you've ever known could be undone with one change? Imagine how unpredictable reality is. Well, in this episode, we're going to find out. Plus, depending on what you believe in, it's either a lot better or Hell on Earth. Let's find out! Their answers might give you nightmares or maybe angry that they didn't happen. Join Elton as he talks about the dumb luck that made the world you know possible. Rate, review, and/or share the pod! Thank you, thank you! GET THE BOOK HERE: https://amzn.to/3eZo5Yr CONTRIBUTE:  https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://anchor.fm/elton-reads-a-book-a-week SOCIAL MEDIA: https://linktr.ee/EltonReadsABookAWeek [[APOLOGIES SECTION: "Sorry, Middle East,

In this episode-- Bill Gates, King of Microsoft, and one of the most odd, controversial, and insanely wealthy people on Earth. A planet could probably buy, lets be honest. Did you know he wrote a book of predictions about the internet BEFORE it existed (well, the one we know today, anyway)? Being one of a small group of insiders who helped shape the way the internet was, and is, used by the world, it's crazy to think of how much he got wrong (and he did). And how much he actually got right (a lot).  Join Elton as he dives into the life of not one, but THREE things at once in this "Look where we ended up, Bill, you son of a b!tch!" episode of Elton Reads A Book A Week.  [[APOLOGIES SECTION: Sorry, Paul Allen, key-tar players and fans, the classmates of Bill Gates, the good people of UCLA and Stanford, and of course, Bill Gates.]] GET THE BOOK HERE! https://amzn.to/3N09TLf CONTRIBUTE: https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek https://anchor.fm/elton-reads-a-book-a-week EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@