Book Clubbed

This book is a bit scatterbrained. Jen ain't too subtle and our characters ain't too original. Join us for more Bright Places next time!https://archive.org/download/22-life-on-the-edge/22%20Life%20On%20The%20Edge.mp3

This podcast is heart-wrenching. Devastating. Illuminating. Breathtaking. Romantic. Quirky. Exhilarating. Hauntingly beautiful. Whatever other words will make teen girls pay attention.Welcome back to the cast folks; we're cracking open "All The Bright Places," by Jennifer Niven. It's a straight-up ripoff of FIOS, except instead of cancer, it's suicide. We expect the author to handle it in the most respectful and helpful way possi- ah, who are we kidding.https://archive.org/download/21-you-can-never-have-too-many-adjectives/21%20You%20Can%20Never%20Have%20Too%20Many%20Adjectives.mp3

Hugh Winkleman was this book's Judas Iscariot. Prove me wrong.https://archive.org/download/20theressurectionofcap/20%20The%20Ressurection%20of%20Cap.mp3

Long story short- Cap's the real villain and we'll all be glad when he's gone.https://archive.org/download/19thehughrebellion/19%20The%20Hugh%20Rebellion.mp3

This podcast is now an exclusively Hugh-focused podcast. If you people can't sleep at night knowing this, well sorry, better buckle up. This is the future, freakazoids. Also, a simple bus ride becomes a Dirty Harry movie when we least expect it. So that's fun. Oh, by the way, Todd is criminally underused in this section. Coulda been wearing the cougar costume the whole time is all I'm saying.https://archive.org/download/18arandombushijacking/18%20A%20Random%20Bus%20Hijacking.mp3

Our current book, Schooled by Gordon Korman, features a protagonist who is a harmless little baby kitten who's just as innocent as the driven snow... but he's about to come face to face with the one-man force of nature known as Todd Terrific (aka The Cougar, aka Zach, aka A Living Legend Among Mere Mortals). Can our hero withstand the big brained master plan of... being lightly antagonized?! Find out as we read through our latest tale of nonsensical teen drama!https://archive.org/download/17theyearoftodd/17%20The%20Year%20of%20Todd.mp3

Have you ever been to the Rez? It's sooooo exotic. Anyway, welcome to the final part of Let it Snow, "The Patron Saint of Pigs" by Lauren Myracle, also known as "Testing the Audience's Patience." If you're really into listening to teen drama and just hanging around watching someone's shift at work you'll love this story. Also, we're promised pig antics but may end up disappointed. Merry Christmas, and may 2020 bring us at least 80% less John Green books!https://archive.org/download/16starbucksscoffing/16%20Starbucks%20Scoffing.mp3

Alternate title: It's A Sad Sad Sad Sad World...How is it that John Green's work succeeds in only depressing/boring his readers and painting an ever darker picture of a damaged lonely little man? We'll have to answer that later, as we're too busy racing to the local Waffle House through the snow because, uh, there's cheerleaders there or something. Look, the motivation's pretty thin but at least our main characters will fall in love or whatever at the end. Merry Christmas I guess. Oh, and have we mentioned yet that cheerleaders are the scum of the earth? Because it's very important that you get that message drilled into your head.https://archive.org/download/15thegreatwafflehouserace/15%20The%20Great%20Waffle%20House%20Race.mp3

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the book, John Green decided to start writing under a pen name...Yes, we're reading through the book "Let it Snow" this holiday season, wherein John and two other authors who sound suspiciously like John have crafted a tale of... something. If the first story in this trio of romantic comedies is anything to go by, it's a very creepy something indeed. So prepare your Flobie Christmas Village, bring along your strange mom, and get ready to rant through clenched teeth about those despicable Waffle House cheerleaders, this is "Let it Snow!"https://archive.org/download/14acreepychristmastale/14%20A%20Creepy%20Christmas%20Tale.mp3

This book is so bad we just want to be DONE.https://archive.org/download/13speedrunningthelasthalf_20191118/13%20Speedrunning%20the%20Last%20Half.mp3

Our summation of An Abundance of Katherines so far: one long sustained miserable groan. How much longer can we hold out? Will John Green stop using the word "fug"? Who are the REAL racists in this made up town? And why does reading this feel like being hit in the head with a dull shovel? Let's find out together...https://archive.org/download/12thisbookactivelyhatesus/12%20This%20Book%20Actively%20Hates%20Us.mp3

John Green's creepier side comes out as this book goes from zero to uncomfortable real fast... also, Maclane has a cold but don't let that distract you.https://archive.org/download/11excellenceinyoungadultliterature/11%20Excellence%20in%20Young%20Adult%20Literature.mp3

Releasing two episodes in one day? Is that even legal?! At any rate, we're following up Larry with the long anticipated (by us) John Green book "An Abundance of Katherines". There's gonna be so many Katherines you won't be able to keep up!https://archive.org/download/10anabundanceofjohngreen/10%20An%20Abundance%20of%20John%20Green.mp3

(Just for the record, the title was Mac's idea)One vision quest, fake suicide, and journey to Walden later, we've finally finished Larry's gospel... and frankly it's not very good if we're being completely honest.https://archive.org/download/09thefinalblasphemy/09%20The%20Final%20Blasphemy.mp3

Our protagonist is a very mentally unbalanced individual who could kill at any moment. Please do your best to avoid him. Also, watch out for those hip tech savvy grandmas who moonlight as internet vigilantes. They're everywhere. https://archive.org/download/08normanbatesvs.hackergranny/08%20Norman%20Bates%20vs.%20Hacker%20Granny.mp3

Larry's so-called Gospel is off to a very revolting start... Because it turns out our hero is kind of a creepy dude. He silently rages about his friendzoned status, rails against those stupid meat eating jocks, and moonlights as a weird little cave troll on the weekends. But that won't deter us from pushing ahead in our reading, folks. Not even Stepdad Peter's Harry Osborne-esque vendetta can stop us now.https://archive.org/download/07acozydirtholetocallhome/07%20A%20Cozy%20Dirt%20Hole%20to%20Call%20Home.mp3

Hey howdy hey there, look who's back. Yes, the recovery from that John Green book took over a year, but we're finally in a healthy place again... just don't mention roller coasters around Maclane or he'll start weeping. Anyhow, we have a new book! It's "The Gospel According to Larry" by Janet Tashjian, and spoiler alert, this gospel is less about God and more about Henry David Thoreau, so don't expect anything too deep. We're reading up to part 3 for next time so strike a yoga pose, grab a soy latte, and get in touch with your inner self as we take this spirit journey together!https://archive.org/download/06averyloosedefinitionofgospel/06%20A%20Very%20Loose%20Definition%20of%20Gospel.mp3

Hold on, you say it hasn't been a month between episodes this time? Everything's all outta whack today. Anyway, we finally finished the book and boy oh boy John Green is determined to make his characters more and more unlikable in the few pages we have left. Oh, and Augustus is dying now. Did we forget to mention that? Say your goodbyes quick because he's fading fast.https://archive.org/download/05ByTheWayImDyingNow/05%20By%20the%20Way%2C%20I%27m%20Dying%20Now.mp3

Gosh, been a while, but are you really surprised? Our heroes are plugging along, as this installment covers the meeting of the neckbeardy writer Hazel loves, the thrilling trip to the Anne Frank house, and a deep burning rage involving breakfast foods. Cancer is fun!https://archive.org/download/04TheThingAboutEggs/04%20The%20Thing%20About%20Eggs.mp3

Yeah, we didn't record for a month. So sue us. Life is busy, ok? If it makes things any better, the heroes of our story are getting more and more annoying by the chapter. Listen in and see for yourself.https://archive.org/download/03ThisEpisodeIsUtterlyUnprecedented/03%20This%20Episode%20is%20Utterly%20Unprecedented.mp3