Regular Features

Joe wants to jump headlong with his long old head into the world of podcast-TV adaptation. Steve has something extremely erudite to say about the Shamima Begum affair. Log's thinking about shagging again.

Log's watched a TV show, Joe's examined a trailer, and Steve's seen a film, and they're ALL drinking whiskey out of a little glass submarine. That's right, it's time for another craaaaazy episode of Film 2019 with us, The Claudia Winklemens.

Log introduces us to the strange and wonderful land of Fist World. Steve introduces us to the new political party of Westminster. And Joe introduces his ears to the incredible sounds of the London underground.

This week Gav brings you the news as per usual and Steve remembers an old cheat code which caused an old man to get his nips out. Please support this filth on Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/regularfeatures

Nothing in this world is certain except Dale Winton coming at you with some celery, demanding you feed it to him, and then slapping it out of your hand and turning away coquettishly when you try to. And taxes. In this episode you get both. Matt shares his Brexmageddon bunker shopping list. Log dreams about business. Steve offers encouraging commentary.

Somehow, despite being down to fewer members than normal, we wrote twice as many the number of average features? Somebody get onto Einstein because this is some bad math!! Anyway Joe and Steve were here and Log helped loads from far away.

In this one, Steve tells the true story of Prince Philip's big nasty car flip, Matt steals a towel and Joe has problems with slime towns. Yes, the audio quality is garbageholes, but we had to make do. We made so much do, that it went everywhere. Sorry.

Hi, I'm J0n0th0n, the Regular Features webmaster. This week, Steve, Joe and Log compared farts, became Mortal Kombat characters and were graced with the return of a shy friend. Don't forget that I'm always here too, the webmaster, making sure the http has an S on the end and setting up the email Daemon. Don't you want to know what I did this week? Of course you don't. Pity poor J0n0th0n.

Everyone's banging on about that Bandersnatch so we've got TWO Choose Your Own Adventures this week that are much better cause they're not about games because we're cool dudes not nerds. Please support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/regularfeatures

Who likes accompanying good boys on strolls? I hope the answer is you because that is exactly what this podcast is. Huge shoutout to Jack Forster for his lovely piece of music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq50706XIzw

Hello girls, it's us, the Regular Features people, and we've got another episode of the podcast what we done for you out of our mouth holes. Log has got a series of reasons why he's not done a feature, Matt finally snaps and goes mad racist, and Steve channels the ghost of crambles past. Happy new year all of you. We genuinely love you.

Log found a Christmas script in his pub and wouldn't you know it we decided to perform the whole thing. It's insane that we're not making this up. Music used: "A Christmas Tale" by Lena Orsa https://freesound.org/people/lena_orsa/sounds/414673/ "Creepy Lullaby, A" by InspectorJ https://freesound.org/people/InspectorJ/sounds/412224/

This week's podcast may or not be getting beamed into your drug addled brain from the future. It features Steve, Matt and Joe. What more do you want?

This week Steve is off to Grenada and shares some hopes and dreams for his trip. Joe has just come back from Japan and apparently it's still mad over there. And Gav thinks he's seen his dead Grandmother's face on a games journalist. Sounds good? You get your big arse it is!

In this week's podcast, Matt and Steve take you on a journey to space and back to Italy. How can just two men seamlessly transition from one to the other? Well, you'll just have to listen to this mother, won't you?

WHOA THERE GIRLY GIRL, where do you think you're going dressed like that? To the 19th Century salon to listen to discourse from the most active minds of our time? Well yes, I did forget that this podcast description is a period piece. Anyway, who will be in attendance, and what will the be discussing? - Matt's depressed, but it's OK because he got some drugs that make his bits stop working. - Joe's accidentally stolen music and makes amends while still peddling a get-rich-quick scheme. - Log tells the beautiful, international tale of a gas cloud en route to his lady-love. - Steve and Gav couldn't be arsed.

We've got a bit of a Frankenstein podcast this week as Joe n Gav send in bits of a podcast to add on to Steve and Log lovely chat. LEGAL NECESSITY: Joe's songs were constructed from the beautiful bones of "Reunited" and "Nowhere Land" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

On this week's podcast, Steve & Gav go to TWO different video games studios (not in the same night, we're not CRAZEEEEE) and Log is here to predict the outcome of the mid-term elections which have already happened.

All hallows we'en may have already passed, but that means it's technically behind us now, which is the spookiest place something can be. So permit us one last spooky feature, performed by Steve, and one last spooky error, performed by Matt when he deleted half the episode. Sorry about that. It's Regular Features baby. Got it?

*CLANK CLANK CLANK* That's the sound of the ol' Feature machine cranking into life. *GONK GONK GONK* Look! It's producing features at a rate of knots! *FART* It's Steve's food riddles! *FART* Log's gone deaf and thinks he's a superboy! *FART* Joe feels sorry for a chef! *FRRRRRRK* Oh Christ, another zero-hour contractor fell in the workings. *GAAAAAAAAAA* oh my gOD RUN YOU IDIOTS RUN