Dialogue On Divorce

Though it’s been proven that girls are just as good at math as boys, the cultural assumption that men are better at managing money persists. And in the divorce process, many women (even the smart, capable ones) struggle with financial decisions. So, what are the systemic myths that keep women from having a good relationship with money? And what can we do to change that? Financial Therapist Carrie Rattle is the Founder and CEO of Behavioral Cents, a coaching practice dedicated to helping professional women build wealth by learning how to get out of debt, save money, or protect their assets during a divorce. A financial executive with 30 years of experience in the banking industry, Carrie teaches women to build money-life balance and align their values with their spending. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Carrie joins Katherine to discuss the five unique hurdles that separate women from a good relationship with money. She introduces us to the princess syndrome, explaining how parents treat girls differ

When our children are growing up, we cover the electrical outlets. We make sure they wear bike helmets and drink organic milk. We go out of our way to ensure that they are safe and healthy and happy. And yet, many parents fail to protect their kids from the toxicity of a high-conflict divorce. So, what can we do to set aside our feelings for our ex and make things better for our children? Sarah Armstrong is the author of The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are Involved. Sarah began her career with Leo Burnett before joining the Coca-Cola Worldwide Media team in 1997. In 2017, she transitioned to a leading global management consulting firm where she serves as Partner. After her own marriage ended, Sarah became the go-to advisor for her divorcing friends and was inspired to write The Mom’s Guide... to share that wisdom with the world. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Sarah joins Katherine to discuss the responsibility we have to take co-parenting seriously and bring our

The COVID pandemic has put extra pressure on even the healthiest marriages. And for couples who were already struggling, sheltering in place together has exacerbated our issues. But how do you know if it’s bad enough to call it quits? Kira Gould is a Certified Divorce Coach and Real Estate Divorce Specialist dedicated to transforming the divorce process from an adversarial knock-down-drag-out to an intention-driven, family-focused journey in personal evolution. She is also the Founder of Getting Unmarried, a coaching platform that helps clients move on with clarity, compassion and positive intention. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Kira joins Katherine to discuss the signs that a marriage is beyond saving, challenging us to ask, ‘Do I have anything left to give this relationship?’ She describes the early warning signs that a couple should get help, explaining how little annoyances can escalate into a battle of ill wills and why vulnerability is a crucial component of healthy communication. Listen in f

A lot of people stay in unhappy marriages because they don’t think they can afford not to. But if you’re willing to take a close look at your finances and enlist the help of the right professionals, you can come to a peaceful resolution and navigate a divorce settlement that ensures your financial security for the long term. Stacy Francis is the Founder and CEO of Francis Financial, a fee-only, boutique wealth management, financial planning and divorce financial planning firm. A nationally-recognized financial expert with 18-plus years in the industry, she is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Divorce Financial Strategist and Certified Estate and Trust Specialist (CES). Stacy is also a member of the Forbes Finance Council, and she has appeared on CNBC, PBS and Good Morning America, among many other media outlets. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Stacy joins Katherine to explain why people are reluctant to take a close look at their finances and how she helps people get past their fear of jud

Though most divorcing couples intend to put the best interests of their children first, their own emotions get in the way. So, how can divorced parents learn to prioritize their children’s needs and create a trusting and constructive coparenting relationship? How can they help their kids build resilience in the aftermath of divorce? Risa Garon is the Cofounder and Executive Director of the National Family Resiliency Center (NFRC), an organization that provides counseling and educational programs to help children and adults cope, heal and navigate through divorce and other family transitions. Risa is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Family Life Educator with nearly 30 years of experience helping separating and divorced couples develop parenting plans that focus on the developmental needs of the children involved. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Risa joins Katherine to explain why it’s challenging for divorcing parents to put the best interests of their children first. She walks us thro

Divorce is stressful. But there are things we can do to mitigate that stress and avoid the conflict that comes when our emotions get the best of us. In fact, implementing just one or two simple mindfulness techniques can go a long way in helping us get out of our heads and re-center—without having to master Lotus Pose. Dr. Crystal Dea Moore is a Professor of Social Work at Skidmore College and the coauthor of The Divorce Recovery Workbook: How to Heal from Anger, Hurt and Resentment and Build the Life You Want. Dr. Moore also has specialized training in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), serving as both a practitioner and qualified teacher in the practice of using mindfulness strategies to deal with stress, anxiety, pain and other negative emotions. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Moore joins Katherine to define mindfulness and share the techniques we can use in our daily lives to reduce stress. She introduces us to the concept of ambiguous loss, challenging us to lean into our grief and l

It’s hard enough to understand what Social Security benefits you may be entitled to as a married person, but once you’re divorced… Well, it’s complicated. Can you claim spousal benefits on an ex-spouse? What happens if your ex remarries? Or passes away? James McGlynn is the CEO at Next Quarter Century, a retirement planning firm out of Fort Worth, Texas. He spent 35 years serving clients as a mutual fund manager before transitioning to retirement planning and developing an expertise in maximizing Social Security benefits. James is both a Chartered Financial Analyst and Retirement Income Certified Professional, and he earned his Bachelor’s in Accounting and Finance at the University of Texas at Austin. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, James joins Katherine to offer an overview of the Social Security program, explaining how the spousal benefit is calculated and how long a married couple has to wait before they can claim it. He describes when a divorced person can collect spousal and survivor benefits (ev

While the overall divorce rate in the US has declined, gray divorce is on the rise. In fact, among adults over 50, the divorce rate has doubled in the last 30 years! Why are older Americans divorcing at such a dramatic rate? And what does it mean for their finances? Lisa Decker is a nationally recognized expert in the financial matters of divorce. A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Real Estate Collaboration Specialist in Divorce, she offers flat-fee divorce financial planning services to clients across the country via coaching, consulting and full analysis options. Lisa is also the creator of several innovative online resources, including Divorce Money Matters and Divorce Town USA, and she has been featured in Money Magazine, The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times, among many other national media publications. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Lisa joins Katherine to explain why the divorce rate is highest among couples over the age of 50 and discuss the consequences of gray divorce. She

EP: 134 Whitney Boole To Heal from Divorce, Move Through Your Grief Do you feel stuck in the pain of divorce? Are you having a hard time moving on? Like any other loss, divorce triggers the grief process. And you have to move through the stages of grief if you want to heal. Whitney Boole is the licensed marriage and family therapist behind Beach Cities Psychotherapy, a private practice based in Hermosa Beach, California, where she specializes in trauma, codependency, relationship issues, parenting and grief and loss. Whitney is also the author of You Got This: Healing Through Divorce and the creator of Heal Through Divorce, a platform designed to empower people through the divorce process and offer them the therapeutic tools for healing.  On this episode of Divorce Dialogue, Whitney joins Katherine to share her own experience of loneliness in divorce, describing the journey of self-discovery that helped her move through the pain and take advantage of the opportunity for transformation. She explains why it

For victims of domestic violence, the actual separation from an abusive spouse is a dangerous time. What resources are available to help survivors plan a safe exit? What can we do to protect ourselves and our kids from further harm? And what legal protections exist to support those of us who are divorcing an abusive spouse? Board Certified Family Law Specialist Lisa Angel is the President of Rosen Law Firm, a divorce law practice out of Raleigh, North Carolina. She has served as Chair of North Carolina’s Domestic Violence Commission and been named to Triangle’s list of Top 25 Women in Business. Lisa regularly helps domestic violence victims escape their abusers, and she is also the author of Smart Divorce: The End of a Marriage Isn’t the End of the World and 365 Divorce Meditations: Daily Lessons for the First Year of Your New Life. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Lisa joins Katherine to define domestic violence, discussing the distinctions among physical, emotional and financial abuse. She explains w

Most divorcing couples are good at the blame game. They cast their former partner as the villain and spend a lot of time stewing in bitterness and anger. But if that kind of ongoing adversarial relationship is not what you want for your kids, there is a way to clean up the wreckage of the past and build something new. There is a way to have a happy divorce. Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond are the coauthors and coparents behind Our Happy Divorce: How Ending Our Marriage Brought Us Closer Together. They are also the cocreators of Our Happy Divorce, a platform designed to empower people to think differently about divorce, coparenting, stepparenting, and what it means to put kids first. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Nikki and Ben join Katherine to explain how their definition of a happy divorce has evolved over time and discuss the process they went through to build the relationship they have today. They offer advice for divorcing couples who are struggling with forgiveness, describing how they ma

Substance abuse adds another layer of complexity to the divorce process. So, what do you need to consider if you’re divorcing an addict? And what if you’re struggling with alcoholism or drug abuse yourself? Attorney Aaron Thomas is the Founder of Aaron Thomas Law, a family law practice based in Atlanta, Georgia. Aaron began his legal career in 2002 as an in-house staff attorney for Habitat for Humanity International. He also served as a trial attorney in the Dekalb County Public Defender’s office for four years before starting his own practice and shifting his focus exclusively to family law in 2007. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Aaron joins Katherine to discuss how substance abuse impacts the divorce process. He explains how drug addiction and alcoholism affect a judge’s decision-making around child custody, child support, division of assets and spousal support. Listen in to understand how Aaron handles a case differently when he represents the addicted party and learn what you should think about a

If you’ve been blindsided by an unwanted divorce, the prospect of feeling joy again one day may seem impossible. But if you’re willing to do the work, you CAN choose better over bitter and take the first steps on the path to happily divorced. India Kern is the Divorce Recovery Mentor behind India Kern Coaching, a practice dedicated to guiding clients through the transition from married to happily divorced. She specializes in working with people who feel stuck in their divorce pain, helping them gain confidence, build a sense of security, and find joy again. India is also the author of Surviving the Unwanted Divorce: Discover a Purpose-Driven Life After the Devastation of Divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, India joins Katherine to share what it means to be happily divorced and explain how she learned who she was after her own marriage ended. She describes what uncertainty does to the mind, body and soul, challenging us to take inventory of our physical, emotional and spiritual health as a counter

If you’re in the middle of a divorce, meal planning is probably at the bottom of your priority list. But the fact is, what you eat (or don’t eat) has a serious impact on the way you feel—and the way you feel about yourself. So, what can you do to maintain good nutrition through such a stressful time? Kristin Kirkpatrick is the award-winning dietician and nutritionist behind KAK Consulting and manager of of Wellness Nutrition Services at the Cleveland Clinic. With 18-plus years of experience in the health management space, Kristin has appeared on the TODAY Show, NBC Nightly News and Dr. Oz, and her work has been featured in TIME Magazine, Oprah and Women’s Health. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Kristin joins Katherine to discuss the challenges around staying healthy during a stressful time. She explains why so many of us either gain or lose weight during a divorce, offering advice on how to manage what we eat and make choices that improve our mood. Listen in for Kristin’s insight around how stress imp

How do you know if your marriage is over? And once you know, how do you overcome the fears associated with divorce? Debra Doak is a Certified Divorce Coach and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst on a mission to give women the confidence they need to speak up for what they deserve in their relationships or at the negotiating table. Debra specializes in helping women make difficult decisions about marriage and money, and she is the author of High-Conflict Divorce for Women: Your Guide to Coping Skills and Legal Strategies for All Stages of Divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Debra joins Katherine to discuss the signs that a marriage is over and offer guidance around what to do if you’re not sure whether to stay or go. She describes how she works with clients who are afraid to leave, walking us through her five-step process for identifying, challenging and reframing our fears about divorce. Listen in for Debra’s insight on taking off your grey-colored glasses to imagine a more fulfilling future and

The Coronavirus has thrown us all for a loop, forcing us to take on multiple roles at once. Parents are struggling to work from home and homeschool our children at the same time, all while managing financial challenges and fears around the health and safety of the people we love. And divorced parents have the added pressure of coparenting in a time when our parenting plans just aren’t feasible. So, what can we do to avoid conflict with our ex and show up for our kids as the best possible version of ourselves? Clinical psychologist Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll is an internationally recognized expert in the field of children and divorce, appearing regularly as a keynote speaker at conferences around the globe. She has 35 years of clinical experience helping families navigate the transitions that accompany divorce and often serves as a child specialist in the collaborative law process. JoAnne is also the bestselling author of Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Di

The divorce rate among couples in second marriages with kids is somewhere between 64% and 72%. And part of the reason is that stepfamilies face unique challenges and may not have a realistic picture of just how long it takes for stepparents and stepchildren to get comfortable with each other. Mary T. Kelly, M.A. is the marriage and family psychotherapist behind Real Stepfamilies, a platform designed to educate, normalize and offer practical solutions for the complexities of being part of a blended family. Her private practice in Boulder, Colorado, focuses on helping step-couples and stepfamilies, and she has 18-plus years of clinical experience in the space. Mary also runs support groups for stepmothers and serves as a contributing writer for Huffington Post and Stepmom Magazine. On this episode, Mary joins Katherine to discuss the unique challenges faced by combined families with nonbiological members. She explains what’s behind the cultural stereotype of the ‘evil stepmother’ and describes the unrealistic

If you had trouble seeing eye to eye with your ex before the Coronavirus hit, the crisis likely magnified the issue. And with the current restrictions on travel, following your carefully crafted custody plan may be impossible. So, what is the best way to approach coparenting through COVID-19? Cameron Goodman is the founder of Goodman Law Firm, a Chicago area boutique practice specializing in divorce and family law. With nearly 20 years of legal experience, Cameron is dedicated to helping families in transition move forward with their lives, leveraging the collaborative process whenever possible to produce favorable outcomes. On this episode, Cameron joins Katherine to discuss the challenges of coparenting through COVID-19. He encourages divorced parents to prioritize their kids’ needs over their own and be flexible with custody plans in light of the pandemic, leveraging mediation to facilitate communication when needed. Listen in for Cameron’s insight on how the collaborative process helps coparents work to

It’s difficult enough to move forward with your life after a divorce. But it’s harder yet if you’re still surrounded by the furniture, jewelry, or art acquired during the marriage. Tiffany Ann Beverlin argues that it’s not necessarily healthy to live among the ashes of broken marriage when you’re trying to build a new life. But where can you go to sell those items and get a fair price? Are there options beyond eBay or the local pawn shop? Tiffany Ann is the Founder and CEO of Dreams Recycled, an online marketplace that specializes in selling items from a divorce, including engagement rings, bedroom sets and wedding dresses. Dreams Recycled also serves as an educational platform and resource guide, and the site has been recognized as the #1 divorce community in the US. In addition to running Dreams Recycled, Tiffany is a Certified Life Coach, Divorce Expert and author of My Dreams Recycled. On this episode, Tiffany Ann joins Katherine to explain how her own divorce inspired the creation of Dreams Recycled, s

The stress of a divorce can bring out the worst in us. Emotions are heightened, and we revert to our most-regressed selves. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can commit to staying in a place of kindness and compassion, whether or not your ex reciprocates, and achieve a better result. Nancy Steiner is the Founder and President of Steiner Coaching Solutions, a practice dedicated to helping people achieve higher levels of potential, creativity and confidence. Nancy spent 40 years producing documentary films and nonfiction network television, telling stories that offered a deeper understanding of the human condition. In 2018, a health crisis inspired Nancy’s transition to coaching, a career that allows her to connect more deeply with people one-on-one. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Nancy joins Katherine to explain how a coach can help you make decisions about who you want to be in the divorce process. She discusses the benefits of taking the high road, sharing what she did to stay grounded in her