Mindset Academy

In today's Episode we answer one of our viewer's questions: “Easter is a big Holiday for my family, we all get together and celebrate. My partner does the same thing with his family. How do we choose where to go on Easter morning?” In this Episode, Relationship Experts Jan and Monika advise viewer Liza on how to decide where to spend the Holidays with her family or her boyfriend’s.  Key Takeaways: [0:25] Most couples have a trade on-and trade off system. You can do Easter morning with one family and Easter afternoon with another.  However if there is travel involved then you can attend one family’s one year and the other family’s the next year.  [0:46] It’s a big opportunity for communication!  Each partner can state what they want. Which partner’s family is the holiday most important to? Who will be the most offended if you don’t attend their gathering? This is a great opportunity for you as a couple to deal with family and compromise, which are two huge hurdles that you get to overcome together! [1:55 ] In

In today's Episode we answer one of our viewer's questions: “My Boyfriend is always trying to fix all my problems and I don’t want him to. What do I do?” In this Episode,  Relationship Experts Jan and Monika advise viewer Heather on her frustration with her boyfriend who is always trying to “Fix” her. Key Takeaways: [0:30] Is there a way that you can hear that everytime he gives you advice that all he is trying to do is love you?  Try to imagine that every time he tries to help or fix you that he is saying “I love you!”  [1:32] If you are sensitive to criticism and take it personally every time someone tries to help or ‘fix’ you, it’s likely that when you were growing up you were used to hearing a similar voice from your parents or loved ones. They may have always been trying to tell you how to live your life or control you. So pay attention to the fact that you are listening from a certain lens, and try to realize that all he is trying to do is love you.  [2:20 ] Let him know how you are feeling. Tell him th

In today's Episode we answer one of our viewer's questions: “My Girlfriend and I just moved in together. I am a night owl and she is an early bird and  it’s just not working. Help!” In this Episode,  Relationship Experts Jan and Monika advise viewer Brian on what to do about him and his girlfriend’s differing morning and nightly routines.  Spoiler Alert: DO NOT try to change the other person’s schedule.  Key Takeaways: [0:30] At the very beginning of our relationship, we went through the same thing as well! Monika is an early riser and Jan is a night owl. So at the beginning Monika would try to MAKE him into an early riser or shame him for being a night owl.  This will not work! [1:02] Forcing someone to be someone they are not in a relationship simply does not work at all and will only end up putting a strain on the relationship.  [1:30 ] Ask yourself, where am I putting my energy and focus? Why am I choosing to let this upset me? And Start to look for the things that make your differences beneficial.  Does

In today's Episode we answer one of our viewer's questions: “I’m in a relationship with my dream guy in Los Angeles but I just got a  dream job offer in New York. He doesn’t want to go. What should I do?” In this Episode,  Relationship Experts Jan and Monika advise viewer Julie on how to choose between her dream guy or dream job. Key Takeaways: [0:10] Monika thinks Julie should stay with the dream guy. To her a dream job comes and goes, our skills and interests shift and change, but true love lasts. So if you think you found the one, stay for it and go all in! [1:04] If he really is your DREAM guy, maybe there are some more conversations you can have about New York in the future and who knows maybe he will change his mind after all! [1:30 ] If you do choose the dream guy and turn down your dream job, you could be opening yourself up for resentment later.  You don’t want to be kicking yourself down the line and end up blaming him because you wish you had taken that dream opportunity but you stayed in LA just f

In today's Episode we answer one of our viewer's questions: “As a couple who has been together 10+ years, how do you navigate arguments?” In this Episode,  Relationship Experts Jan and Monika advise our viewers on how they themselves navigate arguments with some real life examples! Key Takeaways: [1:00] One of the best things to do is to acknowledge and have awareness that you are in a disagreement. So many of our arguments are just us trying to get our partner to see our point of view and be heard and validated.  [1:40] STOP. Acknowledge that you are in a disagreement by stating it out loud and try your best to resolve it so you can go back to discussing whatever it was before the disagreement disrupted you.  [2:00 ] Take inventory of where you are right now,  if you can, try to jump into their space and see their point of view as well. It can be helpful to take a step back, be the bigger person and see where they are coming from.  [3:00] Stop the argument and hear your partner out. Reflect back to your part

In today's Episode we answer one of our viewer's questions: "I participated in a threesome with my boyfriend. When I woke up they were continuing last night’s activities.  What do I do?” In this Episode, Relationship experts, Jan and Monika advise our viewer Missy on a dilemma regarding a threesome gone wrong and boundaries within the relationship.  Key Takeaways: [0:30] When you enter into a Threesome, all of a sudden the boundaries are different  than a twosome...the monogamy, the commitment and the structure of the relationship changes.  [0:40] Talk to you boyfriend, is he fulfilled in the relationship? Was a threesome just an excuse for wanting to be with another woman? Does he want an open relationship?  Then you can make a powerful choice inside yourself, what are you values and will you stand for. Clear communication is everything.  [1:30 ] Anything in relationships can be navigated as long as you communicate clearly.  When you open up the door to the extra person in your bed, you open the door to a lo

Have you ever had feelings of unworthiness? Has it ever held you back on some aspects of your life like your job and your relationships with other people? On this episode of Shift Your Perspective, Life Coaches Jan and Monika help Matt get through his feelings of unworthiness, and help him realize his worth by identifying situations when he hears the voice that's telling him he is not enough. Jump into this beautiful podcast as we dive into Matt's childhood where he first encountered feelings of unworthiness from none other than his mother. Listen as to how Jan and Monika shift Matt's perspective on his coping mechanisms and help him discover how strong and valuable he is from within through compassionate self-forgiveness. By shifting his perspective, Matt can now go through his life with positive thoughts and self-affirmation.

Is it possible for you to improve the quality of your work and life by changing the way you see past experiences? On this episode of Shift Your Perspective, Jan and Monika help a hardworking businesswoman, Jenny, identify the thoughts and limiting beliefs that have been getting in her way of a promotion or increased income. Listen as to how the conversation digs deep into Jenny's childhood and how it has affected her way of thinking. By helping Jenny shift her perspective, she realizes that everything that happens in your life does not have to define the way you are for the rest of your life. And by shifting your perspective, it can make all the difference.

In this Episode of Shift Your Perspective, Jessi tries to find a way to co-parent with her Ex in a loving way...even though she still feels so much hurt and anger towards him from their past relationship. 

The intention of this meditation is to acknowledge that you are lovable and that life loves you. Open your eyes and your heart to see all the ways that life is loving you, keeping you safe, supporting your growth, and guiding your journey.  

The intention of this meditation is to bring a new access point to what is possible for you, by having an expanded perspective, and to recognize where you may have a limiting belief. To do this, I welcome you to shift your view of the world into “I Can”.

The intention of this meditation is to arrive into a higher ground, to elevate your consciousness into a state of knowing, into a state of calm, into a state of tranquility and into a state of presence. What does it take to leave behind everything in your life to simply be exactly where you are right now.

In today's Episode we answer one of our viewer's questions: "My Girlfriend and I just broke up. I don’t believe the relationship is really over, but I’m not sure. Help!" Monika and Jan Zands bring their Relationship expertise and degrees in Spiritual psychology to answer viewers' pressing relationship questions!   In this Episode, Jan and Monika advise our viewer Steve on what to do when you’ve just broken up, but you’re not quite ready to say goodbye to the relationship.  Key Takeaways: [1:34] A lot of times, during breakups, people need to truly be apart and mourn everything about it, for them to really learn, grow and develop whatever it takes to finally make it work (if and) when they get back together with their partner.   [2:00] I have a philosophy that ALL relationships can work. From the BEST, to the WORST, they can all work. If you choose to WORK the relationship, the relationship overtime will work.   [3:00 ] If you do decide to leave the relationship, make sure to learn, grow, cultivate yourself, t

In today's Episode we answer one of our viewer's questions: "Is it okay for my boyfriend to be best friends with his Ex Girlfriend?" Monika and Jan Zands bring their Relationship expertise and degrees in Spiritual psychology to answer viewers' pressing relationship questions!   In this Episode, Jan and Monika advise Cassie on her unease with her boyfriend's close friendship with his Ex-Girlfriend and answer the age old question: Can Exes ever be friends? Key Takeaways: [0:23] Often in relationships what makes someone jealous is the possibility of their partner being emotionally involved with someone else, so it is very tricky! [0:50] is it possible? Yes. If you are super evolved, confident, and a great communicator, open and authentic. It is ALSO a potential Pandora's box. [1:25] In relationships we need friends to talk and vent to, it can become sticky if that person you are venting to, is your Ex. [1:50] If you think you can handle it, you may need checkpoints boundaries and parameters that allow you to spe

In today's Episode we answer one of our viewer's questions: "My boyfriend just proposed, which is great. However we've been having some problems...I think he may have proposed to fix those problems. What now?" Monika and Jan Zands bring their Relationship expertise and degrees in Spiritual psychology to answer viewers' pressing relationship questions!   In this Episode, Jan and Monika advise Louise on her fiancé's proposal, what to do if you don't feel ready and how to repair communication in your relationship. Key Takeaways: [0:40] Weddings often bring forward issues that need to be addressed. [1:00] What is the trigger underneath? What is causing my upset and/or my partner's upset? [1:44] Getting married is not the solution if you have deeper unsolved issues. [2:40] Share your concerns with your Partner, don't be afraid to be honest! [3:10] Why do you feel like you're not seeing eye to eye? [4:22] Before going into a serious conversation, make sure they feel loved, celebrated and received FIRST and then exp

John Welwood developed a concept called Spiritual Bypass, it is defined as a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.” Some features can be: exaggerated numbing from things, repression, overemphasis on the positive, anger phobia, overly tolerant compassion, poor boundaries, debilitating judgment of one’s own negative sides, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being. In previous sessions, there has been an exploration between a Fixed and an Open Mindset, and how having an open mindset can help you try different tools and perspectives to approach daily situations in a variety of ways. People often tend to escape from feeling how they feel, minimizing and over-rationalizing situations. If you don’t process the anger or frustration about your current situation, it would be very hard to attract a different outcome. Whatever your process is, it is your process; you have to walk t

Monika and Jan Zands welcome you to Mindset Academy, a place to have a conversation, enhance your mindset, step into the essence of who you are in the world, and to prevent that the circumstances around you stop you in any way. The Four Agreements is a very powerful book, it helps us make agreements with the world around us. The agreements explored in earlier sessions were: First: Be impeccable with your word. Second: Don't take things personally. Third: Don't make assumptions about anything. Today´s session is about the fourth and last agreement: Always do your best. Sometimes the best version of ourselves is not what we expect to be. We have ideals about what “our best” should look like, but that changes every day, and our best today can simply be learning a lesson or recognizing a mistake. The previous three agreements will help us realize what our best is. Sometimes we tend to think that things are “not good enough yet” and this way we create an environment of never enough, separating ourselves from other

Jan and Monika Zands open today’s session of Mindset Academy following the theme of this month, which is exploring the agreements set by Don Miguel Ruiz in his book The Four Agreements. Today, the third agreement will be discussed which is “Don’t make assumptions.” But let’s start from the beginning: “What even is an assumption?” It is information we use to fill a gap. We are trained to do this and we often believe that the assumptions we made on the missing information are the reality. When we receive feedback from others, we can also assume it is our reality, but what others see really belongs to their own belief system and experiences. We have to question our perspectives and realities in order to recognize the assumptions that we are making. There is a set of action steps: 1. Become aware, 2. learn how to make fewer assumptions, and 3. realize where are those assumptions are coming from. Assumptions can get us into trouble, but we can make agreements with others, explaining what we mean, clarifying our in

Monika and Jan Zands welcome you to Mindset Academy, a space thought to help you have the best possible mind, soul, spirit, and body relationship in order to live the life of your dreams. This month, the book The Four Agreements is being discussed. Today, the second agreement is where the focus is: “Do Not Take Things Personally.” We usually take things personally because somewhat we think we are special and what’s happening around us is directly related to us. We carry this “backpack” of beliefs and thoughts that we assumed belong to us. Jan divides this concept in two: Taking personally what people do or taking personally what people say. We usually make assumptions, giving reasons why people are saying or doing what they do and how that has to do with us personally. How can we change this? We can create alternate perspectives, we can dive into why we felt touched and affected by this situation by discovering our own view about ourselves. You know that you are taking things personally when there is a discom

Mindset Academy is led by Monika and Jan Zands. This month we will dive into how do you limit your life in a way that does not allow you to become fully who you really are? There are several books that are basic for personal development, one of them is The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz. Jan set examples when we label ourselves as “liars.” Yes, that is a big word, but many times we promise to ourselves we are going to do something and we fail to do it. We are also  “thieves” stealing time from others when not showing up on time, we are “murderers” when killing other people’s dreams. Strong, isn’t it?  The Four Agreements book brings us the First Agreement which is: “Be Impeccable with your word.” When you fail to be impeccable with your word, the biggest injury is not upon others but upon yourself. When you make a promise you first make it with yourself and by breaking it, you are affecting you first and then others.  Impeccable means without sin. What makes us unique as human beings is language.