Dear Men

Ever wanted to explore role-play in sex? If so, you're not alone! According to research, one in three people in North America alone wants to try some kind of role-play in the bedroom, whether that's doctor/patient, professor/student, cop/detainee, pirate/wench or some other sexy dynamic. Why is sexual role-play so intriguing? Is it different from kink/BDSM? How do you bring it up in a fun and respectful way with a partner? What are your hesitations, and what might your partner's hesitations be? And what's your pleasure? What would you want to explore?Here we delve into all of it: sexual taboos, our own personal experiences with role-play, how to talk about sexual role-play with a partner, and more.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (http

"It felt kind of like a trap, but at the same time felt like a soothing warm blanket to feel safe and ruminate within.""The codependent relationship is filled with drama. There is blaming, a victim and the rescuer/protector. That rescuer is filled with needing to be needed. That’s where it began for me.""It was years of trying as hard as I could to make things better but never being good enough to matter how hard I tried."The word "codependence" gets thrown around a lot, but it's not always clear what it means. How do you know if you're codependent? How do you know if your partner is codependent? Can one person be codependent while the other isn't?Here we delve into our own personal experiences of codependency, as well as the experiences of some of our clients. We aim to provide clarity on codependent dynamics and how to overcome them.In Jason's words, "Too many men stay in a place of perpetual suffering." If your love relationships have never felt quite

Did you have a deeply present, emotionally aware father who took the time to attune to you and teach you how to be a trustworthy, integrated man?If so, you're in the minority. ;) Most of our clients had far-less-than-ideal role models when it came to the masculine -- which makes becoming a trustable adult man challenging.For example, do you feel equipped to lead hard conversations with your woman partner, and help the two of you navigate repair? Are you able to stand up for yourself in a deep, grounded way without getting defensive or shutting down? Did you ever see any of those things role-modeled in your family of origin?The fact is, we learn how to be in the world from our caregivers. If you were raised by people who were abusive, alcoholics, neglectful, or just not emotionally attuned to you, then there are gaps in your understanding of sex, dating, and relationships. Here we talk about how to fill those in -- and how to replace bad role models with good ones.If you're someone who wants to grow be

There's a lot out there about Nice Guy Syndrome. But what happens after? What is the magical land of Boundaries, for example?If you’ve figured out you’re a Nice Guy, you’ve likely been in a love relationship or two (or five) where you felt like your partner walked all over you, or where you developed resentment after overextending yourself. Or perhaps you've consistently felt used in your relationships. If you’ve ever had thoughts like, “When’s it going to be my turn? Why doesn’t she want to have sex with me?” or, “I’ve done so many good things, nobody should ever be mad at me.” — then you’re plenty familiar with Nice Guy Syndrome!But what happens after you’ve recovered? What’s the dream? What happens once you’ve mastered things like asserting yourself, knowing what you want and need and how to speak up for it, and how to set healthy boundaries?Here, Dr. Glover and I go through the before, during, and after states of Nice Guy Syndrome. It gets spicy in places, so get ready for a fun ride!Memorable quo

Ever contended with anxiety, depression, chronic pain, ADHD, or OCD ... and had that affect your sex or love life?Ever suspected that you have generational trauma, or thought you were broken?Ever felt like there was something wrong with you because you just can't seem to get it together when it comes to relationships?Spoiler alert: There is nothing wrong with you, and you are not broken. Sometimes we just all need some support to break through big blocks.Here, I talk with David Romero, psychedelic integration coach, about how microdosing psilocybin can help human beings live fuller, richer lives -- including in relationship.So-called "magic mushrooms" have huge potential when it comes to healing. And with all the stresses of modern life, we can use all the advantages we can get when it comes to helping us to have more regulated nervous systems, heal attachment issues, and overcome chronic pain.If you've ever been curious about microdosing psilocybin as a therapeutic modality, you won't wan

"I took responsibility for things that wasn’t mine to take."So begins the brave stories of four men who share their personal experiences of what it was like being in relationship with a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder (or with traits of it).If you've ever been unsure about whether your partner may have traits of BPD, this is a good one to listen to. For example, ever felt like your role in your relationship is solely that of a caretaker? In one man's words, "I felt like a caregiver and she was my responsibility."Thrillingly, this episode is about more than just the intensity of being in an unhealthy relationship. It's also the story of freedom, expansion, and joy. It's how these men got out, and the brightness, love, and peace that's possible on the other side.In one man's words, a turning point was interacting with someone who treated him with kindness and respect: "It was a healing moment and I began to imagine a different life for myself."What does

Have you ever felt like you needed to make a lot of money to impress women?Ever had a dynamic shift around money in a relationship, and not known how to deal with it (for example, she starts making more than you, and you have unexpected feelings about that)?Have you wondered who should pay on a date (do you offer to? Is that considered sexist now?)If you've wanted to be a fly on the wall and hear the unvarnished truth about how women feel about men, money, and masculinity, then this one's for you! Of course we don't represent all women, but you'll likely appreciate the diversity of perspectives. Get ready for vulnerability, depth, and some good laughs along the way.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

Ever chased emotionally unavailable women? Ever dropped a connection because you felt overwhelmed, or like something was "off" but you couldn't quite name what it was? Ever been uncomfortable with the "mess" of dealing with someone else's emotions, or been hesitant to share your own out of a fear of rocking the boat? Then this episode will resonate.Here we talk directly about avoidant attachment traits -- including what they've been like for us personally. For example, finding something small but unappealing about someone (like what kind of shoes they wear), and having that get in the way of relationship.We do this to bring these patterns to light, so that we can learn to work with them. When it comes to the different attachment styles, including anxious, avoidant, and anxious/avoidant (aka disorganized attachment), we also want to be clear that we can always move towards secure attachment, and that learning and growth are more than possible.---More episodes on this topic:Dear Men

Sexy time, pickers, and dating, oh my! Here I answer the following three common client or listener questions:"I’ve heard women say it’s a red flag if the man has not had relationship experience. What do you say?" "One issue I've had is selecting the right female partner. What is a good way to guide myself to go about doing this?" (My picker is off)"How do I initiate sex without coming off as demanding? I come from a relationship where I think I pressured her into sex, or I wrongly felt sex was owed to me … how can I now be bold in initiation without coming across as pressuring?"---I want to give a shoutout to the men who asked these questions. It's brave to put yourself out there and ask about what you really want to know.Got a question you want me to cover? Hit me up at dearmen at gmail.com.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.

When is it time to stay and work on things in your marriage, and when is it time to let things go? Perhaps you can relate to scenarios like these:You're worn out and exhausted because you're always the one reaching out to your wife and never getting anything backYou're great co-parents but your sex life is DOAAs a couple you rarely or never openly fight, but there's constant, underlying tensionYou feel like you can never get it right with her, and often feel hopeless about experiencing the intimacy you so deeply crave---The truth is, sometimes it's clear that a relationship isn't working, but sometimes it isn't. If you're unsure and trying to figure it out on your own, you're not alone.Many of our clients have been through the muck and confusion of trying to figure out their marriage, and here they share the depth of their hearts in that process.Both marriage and divorce can be sources of great pain, shame, and longing. They can also be sources of transformation, spiritual

If your marriage isn't working, you're suffering. Maybe you're fighting all the time (whether aloud or not). Maybe you're great co-parents, but you don't connect in an intimate way anymore. And when I say "intimate" I'm not just talking about sex; I'm talking about warmth, closeness, and connection.Should you automatically stay in a relationship because there are children involved?The fact is, kids are perceptive and intuitive. They're aware when there's distance or discord between parents, even if they don't talk about it. And whatever you're doing in your relationship, you're role-modeling what a romantic relationship is. Is yours one you'd want your kids to have?Here, we go over "making it work" and relationship dynamics that do affect the kids -- and not in a good way. Sometimes it's possible to repair a marriage, and sometimes it's not. Put more frankly, sometimes the best thing to do is to separate for both you and the kids.Grow

Have you ever been scared of your wife / woman partner? Ever been harmed by her? If yes, it's likely you never felt like you could talk to anyone about it because you were afraid of what they would say, or whether they would shame you.In polarity work, we often talk about feminine storm. But where's the line between feminine storm, feminine rage, and abuse? We want to break the silence and go into this.According to the CDC, one in seven men in the U.S. has suffered severe physical violence at the hands of an intimate partner. But physical violence isn't the only thing that can happen; emotional abuse is also deeply harmful, and very common for some of our clients.The truth is, there is a way to work with strong emotions without harming a partner. Here, we, as two women who are attracted to men, share our own personal stories of the difference between our feminine storm and our feminine rage. Healthy relationships are predicated on being able to handle conflict well, and that's a skill many of

"I’m getting a boner — what’s she going to think??"So begins the conflict for a lot of boys and men have around their cock. From a young age -- basically from the time boners start to be a thing, "It’s like a lot of men are constantly tracking, ‘Am I having an erection and if I do, how do I hide it?’"The thing is, hiding and secrets go hand-in-hand, and they generally don't go anywhere good. The fact is, especially during teenage years, boners aren't even always about turn-on. As one man put it, "NRBs are a thing!" (No Reason Boners).We're on a streak here talking about how to overcome sexual shame (see what I did there?). Here we delve into the complex relationship many men have with their sexuality, and in particular to their erections.Related questions:How do you even know what healthy sexuality is if you've never seen it role-modeled?What is a boy supposed to do or say if he gets a boner at an unexpected time?How do you teach boys and young men that getting a boner,

Did you grow up with a religious background? Then congrats, you likely experienced sexual shame! Perhaps you still do to this day.The truth is, it's deeply confusing to grow up having completely natural sexual urges, but be told you're bad or wrong for having them. In the words of the panelists:"For a long time I thought, 'What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get over this?'""I was taught, 'Don’t touch, don’t look, don’t think, don’t act.'""As a teenager I thought, 'I’m going to go to hell and there’s no way to get around it.'"Here, a panel of four men, three of whom grew up in the Church of Latter-day Saints (LDS, aka the Mormon Church), and one who grew up Catholic/Christian, discuss their journey from religious programming to a more full, rich, and healthy sexual expression in the world.But it doesn't stop with healthy sex. Because one of the effects of feeling blocked, ashamed, or perverted for having natural sexual desires is that you tend to have

"Needing space within a love relationship is crucial for maintaining my identity ... It’s not merely about taking a break; it’s about preserving a sense of self that can slowly wither in the absence of such space."So says one of our clients, eloquently speaking to the need and also the cost of not getting space when it's required.Here we discuss both sides of the need for space -- what it's like to need it (and how to ask for it), as well as what it's like when a partner names that need. It can be confronting or even scary when a partner needs space, especially if we have a fear of abandonment. We delve into this, and how to reframe giving space as an act of love (it's said that space is the sixth love language).We also touch on the fact that some people know when they need space, while others aren't even necessarily aware that that's what they're needing; they just know something is missing, or that they feel lackluster.Romantic relationships tend to have certain unwritten

When you were a boy, did you feel comfortable being your full self?Did you feel at ease around becoming a man -- like you knew what that meant and smoothly moved into that identity?We live in a world where boys and young men often feel like it's not safe to be themselves, and where it can be confusing to grow into manhood.According to Nat Damon, who runs Reach Academy for Young Men, "what boys need is to be seen and heard." And for boys who need healthy role models in terms of what it means to be a mature, healthy man, places like Reach are lifelines.Reach Academy gives boys a place to learn, grow, express themselves, bond with peers, and learn about leadership in a grounded way. Mentors there ask themselves questions like, "How can we help them to see the positive elements of being a man, while at the same time addressing the roots of toxic masculinity?" And, "How do you create a hope-filled atmosphere?"It's more important than ever to have places where people who identify as

What if you could read about the sex that affected someone so profoundly they were never the same? What if you wrote about the sex that changed you in that way?If you're turned on by audio porn, ASMR, or sexy stories (either reading them or them being read to you), you're not alone. While we seem to be fixated on men being obsessed with visual porn, according to research nearly one in three listeners of erotic audiobooks are men. According to another poll, men now account for 18% of romance readers.This is a good thing for several reasons, including the fact that so much romance is written by women. If you're a man who's attracted to women and want to know what gets them hot, reading or listening to erotica makes a lot of sense! Bonus: It's likely to get you going as well.Here I interview Carly, creator of Aurore, a collection of literary erotica. The twist? All the tales are true. In Carly's words, "These are stories mostly written by women about what turns them on and what gets t

"As men, it often feels like we should just know how to succeed in a relationship, how to be great in bed, how to be successful in life, all under the counterintuitive expectation that we figure it all out on our own and never ask for help."Part of our my intention with this podcast is to help men succeed in sex, dating, and relationships with women. And a large part of the gap that I seek to fill is due to exactly what this client of ours shared -- the unfair and often unnamed expectation that men should "just know."You shouldn't! It's totally normal to not know. And in my opinion (and that of most of the women I know), the most mature, healthiest, and sexiest men are the ones who are leaning into learning.In the learning and growth process, you're likely to come across both therapy and coaching. They're similar but not the same, and it's an art to know when you need which.Many of the men with whom we've worked have experienced both therapy and coaching, and I polled t

A lot of our clients crave more intimacy or closeness with their wife/relationship partner. Often this includes a longing, or a sense of something missing. As Lucas, our guest here, put it, "The feeling I recall most strongly was a sense of loneliness."Have you ever felt lonely in your relationship? If you’ve wished you and your partner were closer, or yearned for a breakthrough but didn’t know quite how to get there, you’re going to want to listen to this.Psychedelics like MDMA, LSD, and psilocybin (the active component in magic mushrooms) are in the process of being re-legalized. And for good reason —they have incredible potential when it comes to alleviating suffering and boosting connection. Paired with quality guides (the right mentors or therapists), they can help us gain a deeper sense of love, trust, and belonging in the world.But it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Doing medicine (which is how we phrase it, rather than “doing drugs”) is only truly responsible when it’s combined with quality i

Would you ever consider using a matchmaker? In a world of dating apps (and let's be real -- those are rough for a LOT of people!), not to mention a whole lotta ghosting, matchmaking is an appealing notion for many.Plus, matchmakers play a unique role in that they speak to both parties, before and after dates. They're able, therefore, to give people honest feedback about how they're coming across, and help them make adjustments.Here I chat with Anika, a matchmaker for Three Day Rule, about how we can all get more honest in dating. We also talk about how men and women differ when it comes to their must-haves and dealbreakers -- as someone who has spoken to hundreds if not thousands of people by now, that's actually quite interesting. She also shares some memorable matches she has made over the years. This is a sweet one!---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love live