Giving Up Normal

Have you ever experienced pushback in ministry? Have people reacted negatively to the changes that you are making? They don't like it and they're letting you know that they don't like it! That may seem like a silly question. Of course we have experienced pushback...and if you haven’t yet, don’t worry...it’s coming!  Pushback happens.. Pushback is normal. What should you do when someone opposes or complains about the changes you are making? Let’s start by talking about change for a second. -Change is a stressor (even good change). -People resist change. -Resistance creates friction, otherwise known as conflict. And we typically avoid conflict. But there is such a thing as healthy conflict. It is important to reframe your thinking that pushback is bad. You’ve got to remind yourself this is normal and it can be good. Healthy conflict helps create a healthy culture and healthy people with healthy relationships. Key Tips Discussed: Reframe your idea of pushback. IT IS NORMAL and it can be healthy Ask questions, p

One of the keys to great leadership is to communicate well with your people. This is important in ministry in general and is a valuable and necessary leadership principle when you are focused on your priorities and setting healthy boundaries. Many times we create frustration because we have not relayed the right information to the right people at the right time. Sharing the particulars is critical to help people understand what to expect and manage tension and anxiety.   Keys to Communicating Well   Communicate Clearly and Often (Inspired Patrick Lencioni's foundations for creating a healthy organization.) Create clarity: Oftentimes we aren't clear...we think we are being clear, but something is being lost in translation. Clarity is key. It helps to build and maintain a healthy organization both with staff and with the people you serve. Let people be your advocate. Plus if it is within your scope of influence, create an environment where everyone has healthy boundaries. Consider practicing with others.   Ove

Do you find it hard to give yourself grace? Many of us would answer, yes. It’s interesting...we are able to show kindness and patience with others, but we are much harder on ourselves.   Our Current Situation Many of us are under a lot of pressure. Not only are we trying to manage it all, but there’s been a lot going on that adds to our stress. Every time I turn around I feel like there is another "historic" or "unprecedented" event unfolding. You just can’t wrap your brain around what’s happening. It’s truly unbelievable, and yet here we are in the midst of it. Some things we see and feel from a distance, while others hit right at home. The Result These events add up. They take their toll on us. We need to be ok with not feeling personally responsible for everything. It’s tough, especially for people in ministry because it’s part of our calling as Jesus followers and as spiritual leaders to grieve with those who grieve and hurt with those who hurt. [Side note...that’s why space and margin is so important to

Have you been wondering what types of rhythms you should integrate into your life and leadership? Where do you even start? In this episode of the podcast, Jen shares 3 rhythms that every person in ministry should have. These rhythms will change your life and your ministry.  Key Rhythms  Rest: a time to stop, sabbath, preferably weekly.  Review: once a week, 45-60 minutes do a review of how you've spent your time and energy. What went well? What needs to be done differently? What's coming up this coming week and how can I make the most of it? Retreat: a period of 2-4 when you get away with God to survey the scene with God. What is He saying to you about the season you are in or may be entering? Listen, pray, evaluate. This form of pulling back allows you to strategically enter into the months ahead. This episode was originally published on www.womeninministryunited.com/blog/episode82  

You want to make some changes. There are some good, healthy boundaries that you know will help you lead and live better, but you just can’t seem to gain momentum. You're stuck. Now what? Today, I share 4 progress killers that can keep you from making the changes you want.   We wait for the perfect time. We wait for things to slow down before we make changes. We think it’ll be easier once we push through this busy season, once a certain obligation is finished. We wait until things are perfect. But guess what? It’ll never be a perfect time!    We have an all or nothing attitude. If there is just one time we can imagine when the boundary or rhythm won’t work, we don’t even try! We could do it 95% of the time, but we let the 5% stop us.   We are afraid. We fear what others think, we are afraid something won't get done, we fear missing out on an opportunity. The list is endless. ACTION STOPS FEAR. When you take action, even when you are afraid, you gain momentum.    We change everything. We make massive, sweeping

What do you do if you are burned out in ministry? What happens if ministry has wounded you, or if you’re running on empty, or if you are flat-out spent! What happens now? Do you quit? Do you just suck it up buttercup? What’s next? What are your options? This episode was inspired by a woman in full-time ministry who asked, "How do you find time to rest and heal while still showing up and getting things done?" The answer really is dependent on whether you are getting close to the edge of the cliff or you’ve already fallen off.   Falling off the Cliff When you are in free-fall drastic measures need to be taken. It is a very serious situation. Some people need to take an extended leave of absence.  Get counseling, get help from a spiritual director, or pastoral care. Try to take 2-3 weeks off. No emails, no texts, no phone calls, no social media...you are completely stopping any and all responsibilities. (Maybe you need to talk with the church and let them know you are treading on thin ice. I know it’s scary. But

What is the strength of your ministry? What is that one thing that makes you the person and the leader God has created you to be? What gives you the potency, the power to impact the Kingdom and do the things God has called you to do? My guess is that if you knew the answer to THAT, it would change everything, right? You’d make sure to develop that leadership muscle. You’d spend the time that was necessary...you’d protect that strength at all costs. What if I told you, I know your strength? I know your superpower because it is my superpower too. The strength of your ministry is your relationship with God.** Our relationship with God is the one thing that helps us be the person and leader we were created and called to be. Our relationship with God gives us the potency to impact the Kingdom and gives us the power to do the things we were called to do. An alarming trend is the number of pastors and ministry leaders who spend very little time cultivating their relationship with God. We have so many spiritual leade

Are you wondering if your ministry is making any kind of impact these days? Is what you're doing making a difference? If you find yourself wondering these things, you're not alone. Many ministry leaders are discouraged and doubting if anything is really working. In this episode, I share 5 things you can do when you doubt what you're doing in ministry.   Connect with God. Tell Him your frustrations and doubts. Go Back to Your Why. Remember why you said yes to ministry in the first place. Remember There are Untold Stories. Just because you haven't heard the story doesn't mean there isn't a story. And many stories are in the process of being written. Celebrate the little things. A smile, a laugh, seeds that were planted. Nothing is too small. Give thanks for it all. Leave it in God's Hands. Isaiah understood our frustrations. He said, "But my work seems so useless! I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose. Yet, I will leave it all in the LORD's hand; I will trust God for my reward." Isaiah 49:4 Thi

Are you worn out and wondering to yourself, "how can it only be the 2nd week of January?" I knew there wasn’t anything magical about a new year but I’m a little surprised, even disappointed that I didn’t get a “bump” of energy. Maybe you can relate. Or maybe by the time you’re listening to this episode the newness of the year is a distant memory and you’re experiencing fatigue. Perhaps it's unexpected. Maybe you didn’t see it coming or you’ve been dealing with it for a while and you thought it would have dissipated by now...but it’s lingering...it just won’t seem to go away. Sometimes fatigue will disappear on its own but it is very rare. Healthy leaders resist the temptation of ignoring the signs and signals God gives us and instead pay attention and lean into what they are feeling and experiencing in order to see what God is doing. In this episode we will answer these three questions: What is fatigue? How can it affect your ministry? How do you deal with it?   To connect with Jen visit: womeninministryuni

What do you want to be true of you by the end of the year? It's never too early to ask yourself this question. And while most people have made resolutions to do something new, it is equally important for you to decide what NOT to do so that you can be the person and ministry leader God has called you to be.    In this episode, Jen shares 7 things NOT to do this coming year...because if you're not careful and do them, you will get sucked into the perpetual cycles of busyness that lead to overwhelm and you'll be less effective in the roles you've been given.   Decide not to... make yourself busy plan too far ahead make everyone happy manipulate the outcome chase every idea fill in every moment on your calendar wait with great expectation for things to go back to normal Need help getting clear on your next steps? Join me for a one-hour coaching call via Zoom in the month of January for 30% off. You'll get the recording of our call plus 7 days of Voxer with me so you can ask and process any follow-up questions/

I'm not sure where I am, let alone where I'm going. It's been a tough year and things continue to be uncertain. In this final episode of 2020, Jen offers a prayer from Thomas Merton as we face the uncertainty that lies ahead.   My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone. -Thomas Merton

In this challenging season that has been shaped by a global pandemic, life and ministry have been difficult. And although we will turn the page on 2020 and move into a new year, much will stay the same. We will continue to stretch and grow our flexibility muscles and adapt.  So, how do you plan for ministry in 2021? We still have people to serve and ministry to do. What should we keep in mind as we look ahead? In this episode, Jen shares important reminders and tips to keep you moving forward.

We are managing so much in life and ministry. How do you make sure you're remembering it all? What do you do to stay on track? In this episode, Jen shares some of her favorite tools that can help you eliminate the overwhelm and keep focused. Here is the list. Miro Trello Paper Planner Calendly Voxer Canva Timer

Giving thanks is a command throughout the whole of scripture but it can be hard, especially in a year invaded by a global pandemic. In today's episode, we talk about a simple practice of gratitude that will grow your soul.  And as the soul goes, so goes the rest of your life and leadership. When you receive the goodness of God it will impact your role as spouse, parent, friend, neighbor, and leader. This practice was inspired by the practice of "Drinking Beauty" as described by John Eldredge in his book Get Your Life Back.  

Whether you are comfortable thinking about your leadership role or not, your assignment has already been given to you. In this mini-episode, Jen encourages you from God's word found in Joshua 1.

There are only six more weeks left in the year and yet, the idea of getting through the rest of 2020 can seem really overwhelming! Things are constantly changing and it can make it extremely difficult because of the emotional, mental, and spiritual fatigue that comes every time we have to change our plans. In this episode, Jen shares 5 Tips to help you make it through. And there is a special announcement about future episodes of the podcast so stay tuned to the end!

Do you have space and margin built into your every day? Most of us don't. We believe that if we create space and margin, we will miss out on the opportunity to do or produce something valuable. We feel guilty if we have unscheduled time and we violate the God-given rhythm of space and margin in the name of doing something great for God. Space and margin are essential for your life and leadership. God works in open spaces. He speaks, gives us ideas, sets up divine appointments and opportunities, and expands our vision. But it doesn't just happen. It starts with you. It's a decision that you make and a discipline you integrate. In this episode, Jen dives deeper into the reasons we refuse to create the space and what happens when we finally do. She also gives a pro tip on how to create this buffer within your day-to-day.  

Your mindset matters. What you think will directly impact the decisions you make. As we continue our conversation around our mindset, Jen specifically addresses the lie that we tell ourselves: "This is just the way it's going to be." 

There are unlimited people and things that compete for your limited time, energy, and resources. You try and do it all. You want to be helpful. You want your life to be impactful and significant. So you try...you try really, really hard to do it all. And maybe you even can for awhile. But eventually, you realize...you just can't keep it up. Many women will resign themselves to the lie that if you can't do it all you just don't have what it takes. It keeps them stuck in the dysfunction rather than living and leading in the freedom of God's truth. In this episode, Jen talks about the importance of mindset, breaks down this lie that is holding you back, and gives tips on what to do next.

What you believe will directly impact the decisions that you make, and influence the outcome of your situation. When you are stuck, it can often be traced directly to a fear, lie, or limiting belief. It doesn't take much to allow the culture (even the culture of the church), and the enemy to spin a false narrative of who you are. If you continue to operate under these falsehoods, you may experience guilt, shame, bitterness, and resentment. You may also begin to make excuses and blame others. It is critical to check-in with yourself on a regular basis and pay particular attention to the places where you are struggling. In this episode, Jen confronts the lie: Good leadership means being available 24/7.