Dr Karin Love & Life

In part 2 of my recent Insta live with Laura Behnke, we break down three ridiculous lies single women hear ALL the time! Unfortunately, we heard them, too, and in this episode we share how we pushed back against them! We then answer questions we received from those watching the live: 1. Do we miss anything about being single? 2. How can I tell the difference between a dealbreaker vs. typical ups and downs of relationships? 3. If I haven’t had a legit relationship, should I tell someone I’m just starting to date? 4. How can I fall into my feminine energy? 5. I’m scared of getting hurt—once again! What can I do? 6. I’m a perfectionist. Do I hold my bfs to unreasonable standards? 7. My mother recently passed away and I was her caretaker. I’m not sure what to do with myself now… Laura and I have #beentherefeltthat and we’re here to provide the support we wish we’d had when we were single for much longer than we’d expected. Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

Last week I did an Instagram live with Laura Behnke of Life Actually. Laura and I align on so many levels—she also found love later than she’d hoped to and therefore dealt with “single shaming” along the way. Laura’s been there, felt that and learned to embrace her life actually! Join us for a lively conversation discussing: How to increase your self worth (spoiler alert:  science says there’s only ONE way!) Managing the fear of, “What if I never find my person?” How to use “psychological flexibility” to embrace your life actually and live life on YOUR terms! (“psychological flexibility” comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy—see episode 65 with Dr. Steven C. Hayes, creator of ACT) How to fall in love with being by yourself. The myth of being “too independent” to find love and why your independence makes you BETTER prepared for partnership! How being with a partner because you WANT each other—as opposed to NEED each other—protects us from infidelity. How to move from operating from

Many of you resonated with our recent conversation on the father wound (ep. 125) and asked if we’d speak to the mother wound, too. So, psychotherapist and pastor Elliott Anderson is back to discuss how mother wounds affect our dating and relationships. Join us to learn: How the mother wound differs from the father wound. Common mother wounds children experience. Enmeshment with mothers and how this impacts our ability to form healthy romantic attachments. Recognizing when we’re “using” a romantic connection to “escape” dynamics from our family of origin. Dating a man with a mother wound. In recognizing our mother wounded, we’re able to bring it to the surface, process it, and move through it—toward emotional relief, intrapersonal wholeness, and relational wellness. Dr. Karin Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Fear is a powerful force—it permeates all realms of love and life but it seems particularly impactful when it comes to dating. We fear meeting someone new—because we’ve been rejected before. We fear trusting—because our trust has been broken in the past. We fear committing—because commitments never seem to last. At the same time, we fear not dating, trusting, and committing because we fear being alone and worry we’ll be single forever. Psychologist Dr. Stephanie Spielmann’s work examines this specific concern—the fear of being single forever. Join me as I discuss the findings from several Spielmann studies elucidating the influence of fear on our dating lives, but more importantly—what we can do to overcome this fear and date from a place of hope and empowerment! Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com Instagram: @dr.karin --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

If you’ve ever wondered if you have “daddy issues” or been curious as to how your relationship with your father influences the men you choose and the dynamics you experience in relationships, this episode is for you!  Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into how father wounds show up in our romantic relationships—and most importantly, how we can heal these wounds so as to avoid repeating painful patterns.  Elliott and I discuss: The two main ways father wounds play out with the couples Elliott counsels. How psychotherapy can heal a father wound in unique and profound ways. The importance of forgiving our fathers. The tension between being drawn to someone who’s good for us vs. feeling like we’re settling. Why dating a “fixer upper” never works! Elliott also talks about his new book, Simon Says:  Principles and Perspectives from Dr. Simon V. Anderson.  Simon Says shares the abundant wisdom of our father and the profound and enduring impact he had on his children

You loved episode 92 in which Dr. Welch taught us what it means to date as a “high status” woman. Several of you had follow up questions about this concept, so when Dr. Welch joined me this week on the podcast (ep. 123), I asked her if she’d be willing to stick around and record a bonus episode to address your concerns. She agreed and here we are!  As for the questions: Taryn wants to know how women can present ourselves as “high status” if we don’t fit society’s typical standards of beauty.  Mindy wonders about getting physical—how can we approach this element of dating from a “high status” perspective?  Join us to hear Dr. Welch’s answers to these “high status” hot topics! Dr. Welch Website: http://lovefactually.co/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Love & Life fan favorite, Dr. Duana Welch is back!  In this episode, Dr. Welch shares the psych research on breaking up and moving on.  Join us as we discuss how to: Choose healing and peace even after the most devastating breakup. Guarantee you’ll never get emotionally abused. Convey your needs in relationships—even early on! Recognize our attachment style and work with it as we heal. Manage the clichés you’ll hear about heartbreak recovery and getting back “out there.” Figure out if you’re “too picky.” Stop worrying about being alone forever. Dr. Welch merges relationship  science with her personal journey of dating, marriage, and divorce. Join us to learn how to “love factually!” Dr. Welch Website: http://lovefactually.co/  Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/  Instagram: @dr.karin --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

“More than one in four women take medication to treat a mental health condition” (Medco Health Solutions). Are 25% of us actually clinically depressed and anxious? Or, might diagnostic inflation be at work? Psychologist Dr. Steven C. Hayes speaks to this and more in his new book, Beyond the DSM: Toward a Process-Based Alternative for Diagnosis and Mental Health Treatment. Join us for a conversation about: ·        The excessive biomedicalization of the human condition. ·        How a DSM diagnosis may make us more passive and less responsible for our own emotional well-being. ·        The notion of “having” a psychiatric illness vs. assessing the things we “do” and the feelings that show up for us. ·        Debunking the “science” of mental illness. ·        Why genes are NOT deterministic of our emotional and psychological functioning (

I get asked about hope a lot: ·   How can I stay hopeful when the dating scene is so bleak? ·   How can I maintain a hopeful attitude after being ghosted yet again? ·   How can I hold onto hope? All the good ones are taken! Maintaining a happy, hopeful, positive attitude when you’ve been dating for a long time—way longer than you expected or wanted to—isn’t easy at all. I’ve been there, felt that. Over my 27 years of dating (from 15 until age 42 when I got married), there were definitely times when I thought it would be so much easier to just give up and resign myself to being single forever. But I never gave up hope.  And, I don’t want you to, either! Research in psychology confirms hope makes a huge difference in our emotional—and even physical!—well-being. Furthermore, hope is within our control! By practicing research-based strategies, we can cultivate and sustain a hopeful attitude despite the disappointments we are bound to experience. Join me to learn the science of h

Ella has a history of dating bad boys, but she’s trying to turn this around!  She listened to episode 63 with Ken Page, LCSW, bought his book, Deeper Dating, and is working on cultivating what Ken calls Attractions of Inspiration, as opposed to Attractions of Deprivation. But when she dates nice guys, she’s just not into them. She tries to give them a chance, but finds she’s bored and uninterested. In this mini Love & Life episode, I discuss how we can determine if we’re bored because we’re addicted to dysfunctional dynamics, or if we just haven’t met the right person yet! Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Mandy struggles with something so many of us can relate to—the guys she doesn’t care for are into her, while the guys she wants don’t seem to be interested.  In this mini Love & Life episode, I share the science of flirting from Dr. Duana Welch’s book, Love Factually for Single Parents and Those Dating Them. Learn 6 research-based ways to signal your interest in a guy, while remaining, what Dr. Welch calls, “high status.” --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

In this third mini Love & Life episode, I answer Pam’s question about how to know if a guy is manipulating her. She recently went on a first date with a man who led with smarmy and inappropriately suggestive conversation. When she bristled, he asked her if she wasn’t comfortable with her body. He then went on to say that he’d absolutely need to test drive the car before buying. Join us as I discuss my thoughts on how she responded and on such talk in general. Spoiler alert: if you think you’re being manipulated, you probably are. Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

In this second mini Love & Life episode, I answer Theresa’s question about when she should meet her bf’s kids.  He’s protective of his children and doesn’t want to introduce them to her too soon (which is great) yet because of this, she doesn’t want him to get into the habit of just crashing at her place—because she wants to be properly courted (which is wise).  Join us as I share my thoughts on this dicey topic, made even more sensitive because children are involved. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

In this mini Love & Life episode, I answer Kelly’s question about how she can find a way to support her friends even though they’re making unhealthy decisions in their relationships.  I share 3 options for how to love our friends even when we hate some of their choices. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Human trafficking is an unfathomable and horrific atrocity.  We feel so helpless; we don’t know what to do or how to combat it.  Thankfully, there are organizations working on the front lines.  And, all of us can make an impact by supporting their efforts to save lives.  Talitha Baker, chair of the board of Dressember joins me to share how Dressember raises awareness and funds to fight human trafficking.  I’ll be pulling together a team and wearing dresses throughout December.  I hope people will ask me why, so I can encourage them to support Dressember and its mission to rescue those enslaved by trafficking.   To donate to my team please click here: https://dressember2020.funraise.org/fundraiser/karin-anderson-abrell?fundraiserPrompt=1675387 Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Recently, I asked my newsletter community if anyone wanted to share an encouraging and empowering story on the podcast. Quin Taylor (one of my former students from Chicago State University) answered the call, agreeing to speak about living with a chronic illness. She describes how intentionally focusing on gratitude allows her to maintain a positive, empowered perspective in the midst of daily physical challenges. Quin shares: · How to move from grieving the life you were “supposed” to live to celebrating the life you’re “purposed” to live! · How to avoid wallowing in bitterness because, as Quin puts it, we can stay stuck in bitterness but “nothing really changes.” · Her powerful mantra—“I declare and decree today will be amazing.  Amazing things are happening to and for me and I will do amazing things!” ·  The freedom of falling in love with your authentic self—even when that entails a chronic illness. Quin describes herself as a “gratitude enthusiast!” Join us to up your gratitude game this Thanks

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults (18.1% of the population). The ADAA asserts, “anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.”  Psychotherapist Linda Ruvalcaba understands anxiety—both from a clinical perspective and from personal experience!  She endured anxiety’s terrifying grip after a horribly painful breakup. Anxiety permeated her life—the physical symptoms and intrusive thoughts not only made it difficult for her to focus on personal concerns, they also impaired her ability to work with her therapy clients.  She realized avoiding anxiety only reinforced its hold on her.  She could no longer run away; she needed to lean into it.  Join us to hear how Linda found healing by facing anxiety head on—and as a bonus, she found herself! Linda Ruvalcaba Website: https://www.latinxtherapistsactionnetwork.org/linda-ruvalcaba  Dr. Karin Website: https://loveandlifemedi

We’ve all been there—we got knocked down and we’re trying our best to recover but we feel stuck. We find it hard to feel happy. We sink into depressed moods. We’ve lost our joy and even worse, we wonder, can I ever get back to my former self?  Well, according to neuropsychologist, Dr. Rhonda Freeman, we absolutely can!  Join us to learn how to: ·    pivot away from ruminating thoughts—which psych research shows are related to depression. ·    activate the regions of your brain that will bring you healing and peace post trauma! ·    journal in a manner that activates your prefrontal cortex—and why this is imperative. ·    get your brain to think rationally again by quieting the limbic system and activating the frontal lobe. ·    rewire your brain to get it back to its “pre-trauma” balance. We say it every week on Love & Life, “Take charge of your thoughts. Take charge of your life!”  And now, thanks to Dr. Freeman, we

We all know we’re supposed to maintain boundaries.  We understand they’re healthy—that they help us distinguish distinctions between ourselves and others. But many listeners have asked me, “HOW do I establish boundaries?  Every time I try to put one in place I feel guilty!”  Clinical psychologist, Dr. Jaime Zuckerman joins me for a deep dive into all things boundaries.  We discuss the following: ·        How to establish boundaries. ·        Managing the pushback from others. ·        Dealing with the guilt you’ll likely feel. ·        Why boundaries are so difficult to create, but so imperative for healthy functioning. ·        The connection between boundaries in our family of origin and boundaries in our adult relationships—including friendships and romantic relationships. Join us to learn how firm boundaries allow

This week I cover the questions and topics you want me to address!  We discuss the following (and more!): ·        How to set boundaries. ·        How to manage intrusive thoughts. ·        How to cope with your bf’s ex—especially when there are kids involved. ·        How to get over heartbreak. ·        How to know what’s reasonable and what’s perhaps too picky? Join me as I share my thoughts on the subjects you care about most! Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support