League Of Adventurous Singles With Kira Sabin

Dating can be complicated...... However, there are small mindsets that can make it all quite a bit easier and the dating jedi or ninja you secretly know you are. So grab your light saber or black belt and listen in as they are laid out in this 10 minutes of genius I made just for you. Cause I sure think you are awesome.

Rejection sucks. But what if that last rejection was actually not about you?  Or really any of them for that matter.... Here are my pretty darn smart thoughts on the way we love and why we can't really take a break-up so stinkin' seriously. Plus, you are going to get to here about a somewhat-ridiculous, personal kamikaze mission I did myself.  Listen up, Chachi!  Your Adventure for Today: When you find yourself in a new possible relationship that doesn’t feel right, step back and ask if you are uncomfortable because someone is treating you badly or because this is a new type love you haven’t experienced before. Ask yourself: is this healthy? If it is, keep on giving it a chance.

Stupid fear. Sometimes we are pretty darn good at convincing ourselves that our excuses are the real reason we don't have a relationship. "We just didn't have instant chemistry." "I am not going to settle!" Those look like you are taking care of yourself but really....they are fear.  Here are my thoughts on it.   Your Adventure for Today: Journal on these questions. Do you want love?   Do you want a relationship?   Do you want it more than the fear of rejection?   What are you doing to change it?

Occasionally, life hits us over the head with an idea over and over again until we figure it out. That is what this podcast was for me. Listen in on how this mind-blowing idea will change the way you date.  I am serious....it is that good. YOUR ADVENTURE OF THE DAY: What could you begin doing differently when meeting new people to start things the way you want them to end? BONUS: I am going to share a song by one of my favorite artists from college, David Wilcox. I woke up with this song in my head and it was the smack that I needed to get this idea out to you. He talks a little in the beginning about how bad his first date went with his wife and how it's badness created the wonderful relationship they have now. I don't necessarily suggest this kind of honesty for a first date, but I do believe being who you are, in all of your imperfect awesomeness, is always the best answer.

They may not even know they are doing it, but people love attention. However, it is your job to make sure you are not just giving it away and getting nothing in return.  Left angry, frustrated and confused. Listen in on how to tell if something is using you for attention and what the hell to do about it!  YOUR ADVENTURE OF THE DAY: How are you teaching people to treat you when you first meet them?  Are you bending over backwards and are you willing to do that for the rest of the relationship?  Are you starting how you want it to finish?  Are you showing how you like to communicate?  Solve problems?  Be loved?  If not, then how are they supposed to know and be amazing for you?

Seriously, it might be a problem. No you dirty birdies, I am not talking about orgasms!  Get your head out of the gutter.  What would your mother think?! I am talking about how I get up every day and fake most parts of my life.  Definitely this business, but plenty of other stuff too. Listen in on how and why I fake it every day and how it can work for you too.  Especially when it comes to love.  I am serious!   YOUR ADVENTURE OF THE DAY: Stop overthinking everything and start letting go of the outcome so you can just enjoy the deliciousness of the journey.  Stop looking for things to “fit” into your idea of perfect and the way they are supposed to look.  Look at how you can change your perspective to see everything as a success instead of a frustration.  How can you fake it until you get the hang of it?

Seriously, stop doing it. It is so beneath you. What do I mean? Here is what I mean. I regularly get to talk to really smart and amazing singles. However, sometimes we start to talk about a past situation they are stuck on or a mediocre situation that is still hanging around in the air like a bad cheese smell and the smart and amazing gets thrown out the window. They all of a sudden get that whiney sound in their voice and say something usually like “I know they are {fill in totally crappy quality}…but I just still like them. I don’t know why!” At that moment, my inner life coach starts to silently cry in the fetal position in frustration. Listen to some smart stuff on why this is kicking your ass and what to do about it!  Here is my friend Rob that I talked about in the podcast.  He is brilliant.   YOUR ADVENTURE OF THE DAY: Journal on these questions. *What stories are you telling yourself that is holding you back from real love? *What stories have you made up about your past relatiobships (good or bad) th

Truly, it is easy peasy. I believe that if there is one thing I have learned in this awesomesauce journey of being a life coach for singles, it is that we make many parts of meeting people and starting relationships WAY MORE COMPLICATED than we have to. We are all so stinkin' scared of getting hurt that we are creating weird ass lists, rules and games to pretty much guarantee no one is getting close to us.  EVER! Check out the easy way to do this without making an ass of yourself.  Your Adventure of the Day: Super easy.  Commit to letting guys know you are interested for the greater good of dating and making sure you don't end up on the crazy train.  

True Story. I realize that I am cotton candy and rainbows most of the time, but this podcast is about hard-core truths! Quit your whining...there is some really good stuff here today! Listen in as Kira drops some knowledge on the difference between love and relationships and which one you should be looking for. Also, a mindset that will help you move into better relationships when you find them. It's pretty good stuff, promise. Your Adventure of the Day: Take a step back and look at your relationship role models.  What did you learn?  Is it going to help you create a good relationship?  Who can be your new relationship role models?  What are they doing to create something that lasts?  What can you start working on today to get yourself ready? Can I help?  

WARNING!!!  I may have been a little salty on this podcast and pretty....let's use the word frustrated, shall we? It is just such an important topic and one that we all need to hear and talk about.  So please ignore my feistiness if it offends, but hear the message behind it.  It is a doozy. Listen below to this feisty, frustrated, saltiness that is all meant with love:)   Your Adventure of the Day: Everyone has something to teach you and even if you have dug in a little and are seeing some differences that aren’t going to work, everyone has a story you can learn from.  The moment you embrace that, this dating thing is going to get a whole lot better.  You might even be amazed what you find out. Go out this week and collect stories.  Open up your child-like curiosity and just listen.  Learn.  and more importantly understand.  Because when we understand who people are and where they are coming from that is where love and kindness and a whole lot of amazing can grow. Get on this.  

We all have had the moments when we are out there dating and all of a sudden are asking ourselves... WTF?! I mean really...why do guys do that? Listen to my latest podcast that lays down some truth bombs about what to do when we get stuck in that WTF place. Your Adventure of the Day: Journal on these questions and feel free to share your answers below. Create a list of all of the WTF’s in your life.  Whether they are with someone you are seeing, friends, family or even co-workers.  If you are not ok with it, how are you going to teach them to treat you?  What are you going to tell them you need? What can you do in return?  

Well shit! I blogged about this a while ago, but it needed to be said.  Out loud.  To the masses.   Yes, I am being dramatic. I can't even try to tell you how many times I hear the stories.  "We had a couple of dates, I was interested and then I never heard from them again!"   I mean, what? What about dating nowadays says that you don't need to let someone know you are interested? That letting them hang there, wondering what the heck happened, has become ok?   I am on a mission to change this and I want your help! Let's pull the crazy train in the station, shall we? Today's podcast is the importance or changing this and then HOW to do it. Today's hard core truth:  When you are dating, there are going to be freak outs & awkward moments, but we HAVE to remember to be kind to each other. Your Adventure of the Day: Today, is easy.  Just commit to help make the change.  Understanding that with this basic kindness comes more love.  Then....SPREAD THE WORD!  40 people doing this is a change, but what about 400 o

Oh, the heart. It plays such an important role in love.... It leads you towards love and even breaks a little when it is over. OR DOES IT??? Listen to my latest podcast that lays down some truth bombs about the heart and all of it's wily ways.   Today's hard core truth:  We can't always help who we are attracted to, but we DO get to choose if they stay in our life. Your Adventure of the Day: Journal on these questions and feel free to share your answers below. What bad behavior and excuses are you blaming on the heart? Where are you victimizing yourself so that you can’t move forward towards love?     

So you say you want a relationship.   Ok, why?   When was the last time you sat down and really asked yourself that question? It is something I ask every potential client and many of them don’t have the answer.  It is just assumed as the next step in so many people’s lives.  But if you have no idea what you are looking for how will you know when you have found it?   Today, I am going to break down some thoughts for you on what is going to point you in the healthy direction of a relationship and what is going to lead you to the same crap situation.  

Fucking trust. It comes up a lot with my clients. And why wouldn’t it?  Let’s be honest, there are a lot of shit relationships out there and if you have been dating for awhile there is a pretty good chance you have been in at least one. You probably have even caught yourself saying "I feel like I can't trust anyone."  But today I break down that is not about them, Sugarpants.  That shit is all about you. Listen here.

One day, I woke up and didn’t want to date unavailable men anymore and I had to have a tough moment where I needed to fess up to myself that it was ME choosing them.  Again and again. I was the one buying the ticket to the crazy train and that shit was on me. Today, I break down what I have learned about why I was dating unavailable men and how I changed it. Learn from my mistakes, grasshopper.

It is 2014.  Things are different than ever before And you have to be ready. Today, I breakdown one thing we are forgetting about love and relationships nowadays and is the most important thing.  Let me know if you agree. Here is the original Psychology Today article.