Sports Borts

The calendar has turned to December and the BORTS have turned into CHEESY MOVIE WATCHING MACHINES. Throughout the yuletide month, we'll be watching our favorite Christmas movies from Lifetime, Hallmark, and MarVista and recapping them (sometimes with guests!). And if you're a good boy or girl, the Xmas Borts Elf will deliver a message at the end of the episode. HAPPY HOLIDAYS --- If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com ... Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West) Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (i

Sports are great but the one thing we all agree on: They could be better! The only way to do that is to change the rules. Ben has a bunch of new rule ideas for baseball, basketball, football, and soccer that he thinks will make everything better. The Sports Borts Rules Courts is where he presents these new rule changes to Ashley "The Judge" Chavez-Wietmarschen so she can decide whether to "Call The Commish" and tell them to change the rule OR she tells Ben to "Go to jail, bitch" if the rule stinks. It's a simple system. ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsbor

Yes, we've all played "Fuck, Marry, Kill." We get it, it's fun to cuss and wallow gallows humor from time to time, but the BORTS are more serious-minded about these things. Especially when it comes to sports. Funnyman Jason Flowers joins the podcast and brings his sports version of FMK: "Cut, Trade, Super Max!" We explore the best sports trios of all time and decide who we'd get rid of, who we'd trade (or trade for), and who we'd allow to secure the bag, so to speak.  Listen, play along, have some fun for once in your frickin life! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or ema

The Borts celebrate the 50th (and, technically, 51st) episode by discussing 50 separate, unique, beautiful, dumb, disgusting, big, small, and medium sports things! Part 1: August 13, 2019 Part 2: August 20, 2019 ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com ... Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West) Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (impressive, right?)  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sports-borts/support

The Borts celebrate the 50th (and, technically, 51st) episode by discussing 50 separate, unique, beautiful, dumb, disgusting, big, small, and medium sports things! Part 1: August 13, 2019 Part 2: August 20, 2019 ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com ... Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West) Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (impressive, right?)  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sports-borts/support

"I don't entertain hypotheticals"  ...is something you'll never hear on this dang old podcast. We love hypotheticals! In fact, we think they're VERY entertaining! The Borts welcome the very funny and nice Gary Richardson (SNL) to the Headquarts to ponder over 5 Q's: 1-What is the rubric for being the GOAT? 2-If you could be present for any sports moment in history, which one would it be? 3-What player has the best youtube compilation? 4-Who is your All-NBA team of only guards? 5-Which would you rather do: hit a 3 pointer at the buzzer, game 7 of the finals, score a winning goal in extra time of the World Cup championship game, or hit a grand slam to win Game 7 of the World Series? All that and more answered on this episode of Sports Borts! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you to

If you're like most Borts-heads, there's nothing more simultaneously calming AND exciting to you than watching your team play in an offseason league. We all know about baseball's Spring Training and, of course, soccer's famous FRIENDLIES, but how much do you know about NBA Summer League in Las Vegas every summer. It's got everything! Basketball's brightest stars wearing sweats in the stands, young ballers competing for their lives, and air conditioning!  The funny and great Matt Hobby (Young Sheldon) talks to the Borts about his tradition of going to Summer League in Vegas most summers. The sights, the smells, the staring contests with DeMarcus Cousins. Along with some ska talk and analysis of when (or if) it's appropriate to wear jerseys anywhere but a game, this ep has everything. Listen! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcas

Is Professional Wrestling a sport? That’s a question that is not addressed in this episode of Sports Borts because, frankly, we don't care. It's fun! And everyone who does it has a great bod!  The very funny Dan Black (Comedians of Wrestling Podcast!) comes on the program to school the Borts on the dense, chaotic, thrilling, and most of all, ENTERTAINING world of Professional Wrestling. How does wrestling fit in a world mad for sports and drama? How does it reflect who we are and the values we hold dear, whether we're aware of those values or not? How does one build a great bod? All questions are answered AND MORE in this episode of Sports Borts. Listen! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you di

Spend a little time on Rickey Henderson's Baseball Reference page (https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/h/henderi01.shtml) (Plz sponsor us Baseball-Reference!) and you will see that he's one of the best players in baseball history, but you'd also only be getting HALF the story... The very funny and sports savvy comedy man, Dan Abramson, stops by Sports Borts Headquarts to talk about the thrilling, awe-inspiring, and frankly hilarious career of Rickey Henderson. Dan relays some stories, mostly apocryphal, that built the Rickey legend, talks about how Rickey is every baseball kid's dream athlete, and how Rickey was unfairly treated in his own time. Dan also discusses the therapy of his Buffalo Bills fandom and we answer a listener question about SCRIPTED SPORTS TV SHOWS. This episode has it all folks, and I think you should just shut up already and LISTEN! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situat

Milwaukee! The land of beer and brats and Giannis Antetokounmpo and this week's guest on the Borts: Rick Carrera! The newly hyper-relevant Bucks took the NBA by storm this year, finishing with the League's best record and (possibly) an MVP. But what's it like to actually be a Milwaukee Bucks fan? Rick walks us through his history with the team including the Michael Redd era, shouting at players from VERY affordable first deck seats, and Jesus Shuttlesworth himself. The Borts also discuss batting cages, miniature golf, and a listener question about the best sport to play on a big time romantic DATE!  Download and listen TODAY! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE

Shooting Guard...Tight End...Third Baseman...ALL great positions, but which one is the coolest? It's a question that children have been debating--either explicitly or, more likely, implicitly by unconsciously placing their cooler position'd peers higher on the social ladder--in their social circles forever. This week, the Borts tackle it.  Ashley is big on defense, Ben is big on whoever gets to do the fanciest moves while playing their position, so you know there's gonna be FIGHTS. The Borts also comment on the least cool positions by sports and SHAME SHAME SHAME (OK, we admit it, there's gonna be some Game of Thrones talk too. Along with Pool Parties, which is a topic you might not have seen coming) those who have chosen those cursed spots on the court/diamond/field. ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it

Tired of just sitting and watching sports without the threat of losing your rent money if Blake Bortles throws an interception? Well, betting on sports will take care of that common problem IMMEDIATELY! The very funny and good guy Austin Rodrigues joins the BORTS to school them on the basics of wagering on athletics and all their positives and negatives (A LOT of negatives, like losing your rent money). Austin also explains being a Yankees fan from Massachusetts, how NOT to drink beer during a high school baseball game, the collective UNCHILL of the recreational tennis and golf communities, and so much more on this killer episode of da Borts. Check it out by downloading and listening! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itune

LeBron James? Kevin Durant? Kawhi Leonard? Etc.? Who are the best 5 basketball players in the National Basketball Association right now as of this moment?  THAT is the question The Borts answer this week with our ultra funny guest, Carmen Christopher. Carmen is a Chicago Bulls fan who loves Michael Jordan and hates the Warriors but in the cool understandable way where Ashley could still have a nice conversation with him about it. He and The Borts put down, definitively and on the record, who they think the best 5 NBA players are at this moment as well as their 5 FAVORITE NBA players and they also sprinkle in the favorite NBA duos for good measure.  It's a basketball heavy episode, folks, so you know it's gonna be an alley-oop slam dunk of a good time! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be ver

Sports are great but the one thing we all agree on: They could be better! The only way to do that is to change the rules. Ben has a bunch of new rule ideas for baseball, basketball, football, and soccer that he thinks will make everything better. The Sports Borts Rules Courts is where he presents these new rule changes to Ashley "The Judge" so she can decide whether to "Call The Commish" and tell them to change the rule OR she tells Ben to "Go to jail, bitch" if the rule stinks. It's a simple system. ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmai

Why do so many people so revile Boston sports teams and their fans? Because Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are so hateable? Sure. Because they have an easily mocked regional accent? Of course. But also maybe because people are jealous? No. It's because they win the most and sports fans hate the people who are lucky enough to win the most. Duh. Darren Miller is someone who happens to have been born in New England and who happens to like Boston sports and also who happens to be self aware enough to see why some people might be sick of all the Boston teams winning. The Borts chat about where the worm turned on the formerly lovable New England fans and somehow finding a way to root for Boston without being all obnoxious about it.  It's informative, it's fun, it's SPORTS BORTS, check it out! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ..

Sports Borts was birthed into this world one year ago and The Borts are celebrating by talking about their favorite teams! We're talking Giants, Reds, Bearcats, Warriors, and so much more!  ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com ... Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West) Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (impressive, right?)  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sports-borts/support

Sure they throw batteries, barf on 11 year olds, and chuck snowballs at freakin' SANTA CLAUS, but are Phillies Phans really that bad? The Borts welcome funny writer and Pennsylvania native Mary Lordes into the Headquarts to make the case for the most notorious fan base in American sports. And guess what? She makes a GREAT case! They take up a very specific and, one might argue, necessary space in the sports fan community. Mary also discusses teen goth phases, mascots, bowling, and so much more! Ya just gotta listen. ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts

"Hey!" "Foul!" "Why'd you do that?!" "Stop!" "I'm gonna beat you up!"  ...are just a few phrases you will often hear from the subject of this episode of Sports Borts: INSTIGATORS. Whether it's on the basketball court, the baseball diamond or, heck, the common office break room, some people are cut from the instigating cloth and love nothing more than to STIR. UP. SHIT. The NBA is one sports league that has a grand tradition of these shit stirrers and joining the Borts to discuss them is the fantastic Adam Lustick ("Corporate" on Comedy Central).  Adam has a crap ton to say about why he loves instigators in the NBA and how he admires them despite being very different from them. He also touches on layup line warmup songs, the primal anger inherent in playing sports, Jeff Van Gundy and so much more. It's a fantastic episode and you just gotta check it out! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price si

Baseball is back, baby! On Thursday March 28th the 2019 MLB season will begin and that means you can have baseball games on in the background while you do stuff for the next 6 months...pretty exciting, right? Ricardo Marquez (Crispychicken.co) joins the Borts to answer the question "isn't baseball great?" as well as chat about Mike Trout, stadium food, Opening Day, baseball's new rules, and much more as we go through the first ever Sports Borts Rorschach Test on all 30 Major League Baseball teams. What does each baseball team make you think of? Email us! It's a completely stat-less, unserious, uncontroversial, and essentially uninformative preview of the 2019 baseball season...but it's fun as hell!  ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and c

The 2019 NCAA Men's basketball tournament is here and the Borts are filling out their brackets. Who will win, who's the Cinderella, which game gets dubbed the "turd of the tournament," all that stuff. But it's not just boring pencil scratches, it's discussion of the tournament, how to watch at the office, strategies for who to pick, and much much more! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast! ... No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps! Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person. ... Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us: @sportsborts sportsborts@gmail.com ... Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank,