Can They Say That?

Christmas! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Right? For several of us it is. And for several it is a hard season all around due to a plethora of circumstances. Join us on our last episode of 2018 as we talk about holiday traditions and ways to love extravagantly over the holidays! Also, we invited our listeners to share their traditions and expressions of Christmas! It’s going to be a FUN episode! Merry Christmas listeners!

Samuel Johnson once said "When once the forms of civility are violated, there remains little hope of return to kindness or decency." We believe this is holds more truth today than ever before. We’ve lost the art of speaking well to and of one another. Tune in today as we explore what it looks like to focus on extending kindness instead of our own rightness.

Last week was an amazing, thought provoking experience with our guest and friend, Associate Pastor Chrissy Stergos. Today in Part 2 of Women, Leadership and the Church, we have the privilege of sitting down with Pastor Matt Lybarger. Matt holds a Masters of Divinity and has devoted extensive time to studying what the Scriptures have to say on this challenging topic, as well as the different positions held on the subject by people in the Church. Join us as we unpack the Scriptures to see what God has to say on this topic. You Can Read This! The Black Swan Effect: A Response to Gender Hierarchy By: Felicity Dale (et. al) https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=black+swan+effect A critical work for those of us who want to understand the importance of women in the church. This book takes the contributions of fourteen different authors, men and women, who want to help us look critically at this topic, what Scripture has to say about it and how we can contribute the imp

In a needing world, the more qualified people who can answer the call to be a leader, offering help and hope in the church, the better. But sometimes, the challenge is less about saying “yes” to the call and more about battling the patriarchal culture in the church. Fortunately, things are changing. But we can do more to help people understand what God has to say about women He’s designed to teach and lead and why we need them now more than ever. Tune in today as we visit with one who has been “answering the call” for nearly 20 years. Chrissy Stergos is an Associate Youth Pastor in Missouri. Join us as we unpack the Scriptures to see what God has to say on this topic. You Can Read This! The Black Swan Effect: A Response to Gender Hierarchy By: Felicity Dale (et. al) https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=black+swan+effect A critical work for those of us who want to understand the importance of women in the church. This book takes the contributions of fourteen dif

Happy Thanksgiving Y’all! Around here, we believe Thanksgiving is more than a holiday. Tune in today as we share incredible stories of thankfulness from some of our listeners, traditions to enhance your holiday (that have nothing to do with food) and how making thankfulness a way of life changes your brain and your overall quality of life. We even walk you through an exercise, so you can experience the power of thankfulness for yourself! We’re SO thankful for each of you! And you’ll be thankful you tuned in for this special episode. What else are you thankful for? We’d love to know!

Last week was an awesome start to exploring the topic sex and sexuality. Tune in this week as we pick up where we left off with Dr. Kathy Karigan and Dr. Petra Blum exploring the topic of healthy sex and sexuality. It’s so much more than you think!

Let's talk about sex! No, really. It’s an important conversation to have. It seems that we have forgotten that sex is a holistic experience. The best sex involves the healthiest versions of our emotional, physical, spiritual and mental selves. If we want to talk about sex in a way that is honoring to how we’re created and in a way that treats sex as the gift it is, we need to look at more than just the logistics of the act itself. Join in as our guests Dr. Petra Blum and Dr. Kathy Karigan help us with this sometimes-challenging topic.

What was the first thing you thought about yourself today? Was it how wonderful you are and how you couldn’t wait to start the day being you? Cuz you know you’re gonna crush it! Or, was it a thought of what you failed to do the day before? Did you get on your phone and immediately start the day with comparison? Or did you get on the scale and speak unkind words to your body that works so hard to serve you well each day? Whether it begins the moment we open our eyes or creeps in throughout the day, we all have that inner critic that is our own worst enemy. Join us today as we discuss how to defeat the enemy within. You Can Watch This! In case you need a little more inspiration on how to quiet the inner critic, watch these! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNtPVgblzWY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cgw8OFVHzd4 You Can Read This! One of our favorite books on dealing with our inner critic is from Lysa TerKeurst and we think the title says it all: Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lo

The church can be a great place to find deep levels of healing and growth, even in matters of mental health. Research shows that people who are able to incorporate spirituality into their healing achieve a greater level of success in their journey. But sadly, there are times when those in the church turn a crisis of mental health into a crisis of faith. When someone is struggling emotionally and mentally, “pray harder” isn’t the answer. Sometimes the answer is Jesus AND a therapist. Tune in today as we chat about the challenges of handling mental health in the church and the importance of faith & science when helping someone heal.

When Church Hurts What happens when the place meant to help us heal is a source of deeper wounding? Join us this week as we explore the topic of Post Traumatic Church Syndrome with our special guest, Radonda Rowton, MAC, PLPC. Radonda was raised in ministry (27 pastors on just one side of the family!). For twenty years, she and her husband have served in music ministry. After getting her master’s in counseling, she decided to use her personal, clinical and ministerial experience to help those who have been harmed within the church. Listen along as we explore what PTCS is, how it happens and how we can heal from it. Whether you are part of a church, have stepped away from the church, or have a desire to see church ‘done well’, you won’t want to miss this episode. You Can Read This! The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Jeff Vanvonderen Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing Over Painful Spiritual Abuse by Stephen Arteburn Churches That Abuse: Help for Those Hurt by Legalism, Authoritarian Leadership by Ronald M. Enr

We all have those frenemies who can’t quite bring themselves to celebrate when we succeed. Or who use that judging, shaming tone when they realize we’ve messed up. But are those the first (or only) voices speaking into our lives? When’s the last time you took a look at the people closest to you and asked yourself “are these people really safe?” Join us this week as we take on the topic of Safe People. Who they are, why we need them and how to become them, not just for others, but for ourselves too. You Can Do This! Take another listen to the list of how people described Safe People. Can you identify a few people in your life who fit those descriptions? On the flip side, listen to the descriptors of someone who may not be a safe person. Do you find there are people in your life who fit those descriptions? Assess what your inner voice sounds like; i.e. are you a safe person for yourself? Are you a safe person for others? If you haven’t already participated, please go back and walk through the Inner Circle exer

We're BACK!!! Gina & Polly (that's us!) are coming out of the Jungle and moving into a brave new season! Here are a few awesome things happening you will not want to miss! * We have GUESTS! (who happen to be quite awesome!) * New theme song...hummmmm...I wonder what it is?!? * 2 holiday episodes you won't want to miss. * New topics to include some powerful discussion to open your hearts and minds to challenge and grow you. And as always...we invite you to add your thoughts, questions and challenges along the way as we all get to navigate this jungle with brave hearts!

Is shame different than guilt? Is there such a thing as ‘good shame’? Shame is that thing that whispers to our souls. It drives us from safety and limits our potential and reach. In today’s episode, listen in as Gina & Polly examine shame and what we can do about it. Bring your weapons. It’s time to slay some shame in all our lives! Action Steps Using the list from the article titled Toxic Shame (the one we read from in this episode), identify what is familiar and working against you in your life. Then, since vulnerability is the antidote to shame, share it with a safe person in your life. After hearing us discuss how we label ourselves with shame ('m an idiot. I'm unworthy. I'm not good enough, smart enough, etc.) how do you recognize this as something you do to yourself or others? Begin noticing this. Intentionally label it and choose to replace it with grace. When you hear a pervasive and constant message of shame internally, who does that voice sound like? If you can't identify it's root, get so

PAINT OR NUMBERS Gettin’ Brainy With it! We’re curious. Which word in our episode title stood out to you the most? Tune in to today’s episode and see what your choice says about your brain. YOU CAN DO THIS! https://braintest.sommer-sommer.com/en/ Take this fun, 30 second test to see if you are left or right brain dominant. What was your result from the test above? Now, pick a task that draws more on your LESS dominant side of the brain and engage in that task repeatedly this week. Pick something to experience with all of your senses to encourage brain-integration. Share the experience with a friend. Do the test and exercises about with friends and family. Shared experiences have deeper meaning! Make a conscious effort to NOT multitask this week, even if it’s the smallest of tasks. Here’s a clip to help explain what we mean. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he5fyJqWwpI YOU CAN READ THIS! https://www.amazon.com/Your-Faithful-Brain-Designed-Much/dp/1490858571/ref=sr_1_1?ie

Join us as we explore the good, the bad and the ugly of compartmentalization. YOU CAN DO THIS! Practice the ‘container’ exercise. Re-listen (at 18:18 in audio versions) to experience the exercise in its entirety. In what areas of life are your values and behaviors incongruent? What might be in your boxes that is driving that behavior? (Example: “I don’t think drinking heavily is a good thing to do yet I find myself getting drunk often when I’m sad.”) Practice grace and go YOU CAN READ THIS! http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/06/11/29/understanding-emotional-compartmentalization-and-how-it-can-affect-our-lives-and-the-lives-of-thos.htm This is a great article and quick read on some of the ideas and examples of the good and the bad of compartmentalization. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/just-listen/201405/compartmentalized-v-integrated-the-mind-elliot-rodger In this article from Psychology Today we look at the extremes of personality compartmentalization. A slightly different, yet equally i

Healthfully Selfish: That’s not a type-o and we’re not just talking bubble baths and mani-pedis. Tune in and discover what it is, and what it isn’t and why being Healthfully Selfish is the best gift you can give to those you love. YOU CAN DO THIS! What is something you love to do that you’ve lost sight of? Something that feeds your soul. Make a list. (Yes, right now. Write them down.) Got your answer to #1? Good. Now go do it. Practice breathing. Remember, deep, from the belly. Not just the chest. Inhale then exhale longer than your inhale (try counting it out. Or better yet, choose two words that remind you of calm and peace. Use the shorter word for your inhale and longer one for your exhale.) Practice your breathing by blowing bubbles. Inhale, then exhale slow and controlled. See how many bubbles you can blow. More hugs! (With safe and approved partners. Pets included!) Take a nap. Do a quick Google search and find passages of Scripture that reference the importance of taking care of yoursel

Bursting Bubbles Wanna get comfortably uncomfortable? Yeah, neither do we. Join us as we look at what comfort zones are (and aren’t) and why sometimes, the responsible thing we can do is burst our own bubbles of comfort. Now What? “You Can Do These!” Change your routine this week. Drive a different route to your common places. Brush your teeth with the other hand. Find new ways to do old things. You’ll grow your brain even in thinking about what that looks like! Befriend someone who you wouldn’t normally befriend. Someone different than you. If you keep your eyes and heart open, we’re confident you will find you have more in common that you first realized. Do one new thing this week that has always intrigued you but maybe also scared you a little. Don’t worry about what others think; if it seems too big or too small. It’s your thing. So do it! Resources: “You Can Read These!” Your Faithful Brain: Designed for so much more! By Leonard N. Matheson, Ph.D. https://www.amazon.com/Your-Faithful-Brain-Designed-Mu

NEXT STEPS: You listened…now what? Here are some “Now What?” ideas to try this week. Identify your struggles. Literally, Name. It. If you’re a praying person, ask God to help you see what your struggle is and what might be at the root of it. What do you believe about yourself? Does your inside match your outside? Is it ok to let the world see who you truly are? Answering these questions in a journal and reading it out loud to yourself can take some of the power out of what might be holding you back. JOURNAL. JOURNAL. JOURNAL. This doesn’t have to be in the ‘traditional’ sense. Use bullet points. Write in code. Draw. Just put it on paper. Write a letter to yourself telling yourself what you want to believe about who you are. Get a small counter (like the kind they use to take attendance at games) and use it to track unhelpful or judgmental statements you say to yourself. At the end of the day, right the number down on a calendar. Do this for at least 21 days and watch as the behavior decreases. There isn’t m

Next steps: Do you hold biases or judgments for the sake of maintaining comfort in your own life? How many people are in your circle that you do not align with on issues of politics, religion, sexual orientation, etc? (This may be a clue that you’re holding on to more biases/judgments than you think) Find one of your sandpaper people and make an effort toward building relationship with them. Find someone you don’t agree with and learn about their story. Particularly their pain. Remember, sharing stories is a bit like holding hands. It’s hard to hate someone when you get that close. Where have you possibly inherited some unhealthy views of people who are different than you? Look for ways to challenge those beliefs. If you consider yourself a follower of Christ, look for examples in Scripture of how Jesus treated people who were considered ‘on the fringe’ or ‘outcasts’. How are you lining up with His example Resources: Six Ways To Overcome Your Biases for Good-Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com

A fun & light hearted episode with silly questions PLUS an action to help you have some fun too! Come laugh with us!