Mind Your Mind - Joseph Tropper

Summary: From childhood to present, all experiences contribute to the person you are now. You might not realize it, but somehow, you’re carrying a form of emotional baggage in your life. Why burden yourself in carrying these pains, frustrations, and traumas? Learn to let them go as Joseph teaches us his 3 steps to shedding this baggage. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:24 – Today’s episode is about the 3 Steps for Letting Go of Emotional Baggage ● 00:36 – Thank you for your comments and questions! Connect with us at Mind Your Mind ● 01:09 – Joseph talks about what emotional baggage is ● 03:42 – Close your eyes and think about how much emotional baggage you’re carrying ● 04:12 – Come up with a number/amount of your baggage ● 05:06 – Step 1: Identify what’s in your baggage ● 06:26 – Step 2: Understand WHY you’re carrying it o 06:51 – Habit o 07:19 – Wanting the other person to admit their mistake o 07:50 – Mixed

Summary: Feeling down from time to time is normal in a person’s life and this feeling might be a result of an internal or an external trigger. It’s not always easy to just shrug off how you feel and sometimes you just have to give yourself time to feel that emotion before moving on. Today, Joseph shares with us the 9 ideas to positive thinking. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:25 – Today’s episode is about starting positive thinking ● 00:43 – “We all feel down sometimes” ● 01:26 – “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Green ● 01:47 – The 9 Ideas to Positive Thinking o 01:54 – #1 Tune in to your heart and breathing o 03:41 – #2 Call a friend or expose yourself to social interaction o 04:13 – #3 Think about your past successes o 04:58 – #4 Sing, dance, or do yoga o 05:17 – #5 Take responsibility for your life o 05:52 – #6 Get some fresh air o 0

Summary: Humans are social creatures and being lonely is almost inevitable in a person’s lifetime. What people often don’t realize is, there’s no need to feel the loneliness — there are always people around who are willing to connect. Today’s podcast episode is about the 6 steps on how to get out of loneliness. Tune in as Joseph lists down these 6 steps and his tips in overcoming this feeling. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:27 – Today’s episode is about the 6 steps out of loneliness ● 00:42 – Loneliness is REAL ● 00:54 – “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty” — Mother Teresa ● 01:13 – Loneliness is something that people experience ● 01:54 – Step 1: Acknowledge your feelings ● 02:25 – Step 2: Self-Talk ● 03:39 – Step 3: Find meaning and focus ● 05:01 – Step 4: Look at your social setting o 05:37 – Social media does NOT take the place of friendships ● 05:56 – Step 5: Have a

Summary: How deep have you explored yourself? That’s one question any person should reflect about. Sometimes people don’t realize that the way they act and react to different things are caused by internal factors — these may be past experiences, prejudice, and sometimes instilled beliefs. Today, Joseph shares about the 4 lessons we all have to know in the search for ourselves. Listen to know what these 4 lessons are and how these can help us in moving forward with our lives. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:25 – Today’s episode is about 4 lessons in the search for self ● 00:43 – Every day is an example of finding ourselves more ● 00:51 – The focus of this discussion will be based on Alice Miller’s works ● 01:33 – Joseph talks about Alice’s book, The Drama of the Gifted Child ● 03:00 – Lesson 1: There is a deep root of hurt in every one of us o 03:30 – In his work, Joseph sees child-parent dynamic where parents are powering giants

Summary: In this episode, Joseph lists down the 4 questions you should be asking yourself. Life can be short and it’s a huge reason why we should live it the way we really want to. We’re all given just one life and one chance, and it’s up to us to make the most out of it. Listen as Joseph shares questions you should start asking yourself to know whether you’re living the life aligned to your purpose or not. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:23 – Today’s episode is about the 4 questions to ask yourself ● 00:34 – “The unexamined life is not worth living” – Socrates ● 01:11 – The 4 Questions to Ask Yourself o 01:31 – What is my purpose? ▪ 01:43 – “Everyone wants to have something they want to live for” ▪ 02:46 – Even if you don’t think you have any idea on what your purpose is, you do — you just have to look deeper ▪ 04:04 – Take a moment to think about your purpose o 04:36 – Will it matter tomorrow? ▪ 05:06 – This

Summary: In this episode, Joseph talks about the apology. Interaction and relationships with people make mistakes and hurting others is inevitable. Even if hurting another person is not the intention, we have to realize that we all have to give and take. Listen as Joseph shares the 6 ingredients to help you deliver that true apology. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:24 – Today’s episode is about the 6 ingredients to true apology ● 00:39 – It’s not easy to own mistakes but we all have to learn to apologize ● 01:01 – “Never ruin an apology with an excuse” – Benjamin Franklin ● 02:01 – The 6 Ingredients to True Apology o Rewind – take a pause and understand what happened o Remove Excuses – recognize that you have to be vulnerable in apologizing o Remorse – people want to hear an apology with 2 parts of remorse: regret and pain o Responsibility – own your mistake o Repair – make it up to the person o Repeat – be w

Summary: In this episode, Joseph lists down the 5 ways to overcome blindsightedness. While it’s true that people can never see everything in all things and situations, there are ways to get feedback and overcome blind spots in our lives. Sometimes, we just don’t know what we don’t know. Tune in to learn what 5 ways can help you avoid blind spots and how to do them. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:24 – Today’s episode is about the ways to overcome blind spots ● 00:43 – “We all have blind spots in life” ● 01:22 – A quote from the book, Blindsight says, “To this day, I still don’t know what went wrong” ● 01:50 – Expect a discrepancy ● 02:37 – Joseph shares about the eye doctor story ● 03:47 – Be empathetic and sympathetic ● 04:36 – 5 Ways to Overcome Blind Spots o 04:40 – Ask a kid ▪ 05:04 – “Kids say things as it is” o 05:55 – Watch a video of yourself o 07:14 – Ask a co-worker or associate o 08:30 –

Episode Notes Summary: In this episode, Joseph talks about the 7 mythbusters about boundaries. Boundaries are set for a reason, and setting your boundaries as a person, should be on your terms. Having boundaries should not be a problem, it’s simply setting limits for yourself and for others in an appropriate and respectful way. Listen as Joseph shares what these 7 myths are, and what truths about boundaries you should know. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:22 – Today’s episode is the 7 mythbusters about boundaries ● 00:54 – “You best teach others about healthy boundaries by enforcing yours on them.” – Bryant McGill ● 01:14 – Myth #1: Boundaries mean that I’m selfish o 01:28 – This myth is what parents impose on children o 01:47 – Parents SHOULD set healthy boundaries o 03:18 – “Boundaries do not mean you’re selfish if they’re executed properly and appropriately” ● 03:30 – Myth #2: Boundaries mean that I’m a rebel o 03:

Episode Notes "Life is the flower for which love is the honey." – Victor Hugo Summary: Sometimes our lives get too much of the negatives, stresses, and unhappy experiences that we forget to make the most out of it. What happens in our environment affects how we live that we unconsciously forget what things are really meaningful to us. I will share with you 4 Reasons to love and appreciate your life. The 4 P’s to Love Your Life Today – Focus on: o Positive o Present o People o Purpose Put another way, it’s up to you how you prefer to remember them: The 4 G’s to Love Your Life Today – Focus on: o Gratitude o Grounding o Group o Goals Focus on Positive and Gratitude. Look on the beautiful things in your life to appreciate it. “Focusing on the things that we have really helps us understand things” The brain is trained to look at the wrong and to try to fix things. The Tell-Tale Brain talks about how the brain categorizes things in order. Spend time thinking of the posit

Episode Notes Summary: In this episode, Joseph lists down Dr. Murray Bowen’s 6 Family Dynamics. Families, just like individuals, are different in their own ways. Conflicts are not a rare occurrence with parents, spouses, siblings or children. Recognizing these family dynamics and what affects families both internally and externally will help us get a better grasp understanding them better. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:22 – Today’s episode: 6 Family Dynamics of Dr. Murray Bowen ● 00:40 – Dr. Murray Bowen’s family systems have a lot of insights that can be very helpful ● 01:15 – Dr. Bowen (1913 - 1990) was a very famous American psychiatrist during WWII ● 01:44 – He was a trailblazer who changed a lot of things in the norm ● 02:03 – Dr. Bowen’s 6 Family Dynamics o 02:19 – Triangulation – the smallest amount of conflict starts here ▪ When a person brings in a third party (maybe children) to avoid issue or to turn attenti

Episode Notes Grieving is a normal part of life. It’s actually not just about losing someone we love, it’s also about losing our jobs, our hopes, our dreams, and our aspirations. Today, Joseph educates us with the 5 Stages of Grieving based on Elisabeth Kubler Ross’ approach, what these stages mean, and how it affects us as individuals. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:23 – Today’s episode: 5 Stages of Grieving ● 00:28 – Joseph will expound upon Elisabeth Kubler Ross’ 5 Stages of Grief and approach ● 00:43 – Grief counselling is not just for someone who beraves death of a loved one but for people who lost jobs, hopes, and dreams ● 01:14 – Grief is a state where a person is faced with his own vulnerability ● 01:56 – Elisabeth Kubler Ross (1926-2004) is a Swiss-American psychiatrist who has a great heart and an amazing compassion to people ● 02:29 – She developed the 5 Stages to Grief model in a very compassionate and sensitive wa

Episode Notes Summary: Giving and receiving love requires its own set of rules. Today, Joseph opens with the principles of Gary Chapman who argues that love is communicated in different languages. One may feel love when they receive gifts. Others may need words of affirmation or physical touch. Whatever the language may be, if we aren’t approaching each other with this knowledge of what one needs to feel loved, then we may be missing the mark in our efforts to love one another. Tune-in to find out how love is communicated and how a few kind actions in our relationships can make a huge impact. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:25 – Today’s episode: 6 Ways to Give and Receive Love ● 01:17 – “Until we can receive with an open heart, we're never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” – Brene Brown ● 01:54 – 6 Ways to Give and Receive Love o 01:57

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Summary: In this episode, Joseph talks about how YOU can get your loved ones to seek help. When someone dear to us is struggling with emotional or mental issues, the family or close friends can often be the main source of support. However, being the sole support system can sometimes be very difficult—especially if the one supporting is not well-equipped or does not have their own support systems in place. Tune-in as Joseph describes 5 ways to approach a loved one that is struggling with mental illness and how you can encourage them to get the help that they need. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:23 – Today’s episode is about the ways you can get your loved one to seek help ● 00:35 – Dealing with a loved one who needs help can be exhausting ● 00:58 – Today’s quote: “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” – Christopher Germer ● 01:45 – Two books that are helpful: I Am Not Sick I Don’t N

Summary: In this episode, Joseph lists five practical ways we can control our anger. It is natural to feel anger in a stressful situation such as a fight with a partner or loved one. But yielding to our anger and its consequential actions rarely results in good; instead, it can perpetuate a fight and even worsen it. Tune-in as Joseph explains the five D’s that we can employ to manage our anger in those heated moments. By utilizing one of these suggestions, the hope is that we’ll be able to reach a peaceful solution rather than give way to a shouting match. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:23 – Today’s episode is about anger management ● 00:30 – Ways to deal with you and your loved ones’ anger ● 00:48 – Anger is a natural reaction which is elicited to grab other people’s attention ● 01:00 – Anger is our body armor against feelings of fear, sadness and hurt ● 01:25 – “For every minute that you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of

Summary: In this episode, Joseph opens Part Two of our attachment series. Adult, romantic relationships are where we truly see the ways in which we attach to our partner. One who is secure in their attachments will behave differently than one who is considered to be avoidant in relationships. Joseph refers to the work, Attached, as a guide for this discussion. Tune-in to hear how the three types of attachment—secure, avoidant, and anxious—affect one’s relationships and the ways in which we can work towards healthier relationships in each of these instances. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:23 – Today’s episode is Attachment: Part 2 – Adult Romantic Relationship ● 00:35 – Check out Episode 22 for Part 1 ● 00:59 – “We do as we have been done by” – John Bowlby ● 01:05 – “We learn how to treat others the way we are treated” ● 01:39 – Once we become conscious of our actions, we can make changes ● 02:02 – People who work on security in

Summary: In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Joseph opens Part 1 of the attachment series. He takes us to the beginning—our childhood—and explains how our early experiences with our caregivers dictate the ways in which we attach. Joseph draws on the resource, Attached, to provide a basis of understanding for today’s topic. Listen as Joseph explains the causes for attachment development, the 4 types of attachment, and a breakdown of the 4 types of attachment using children’s reactions to stress as an example. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:23 – Today’s episode is Part 1 of an attachment series ● 00:35 – Part 1 will be about childhood and personality; Part 2 is about adult, romantic relationships ● 01:04 – To Joseph, all people are on a spectrum in regards to the different types of attachment they can experience ● 01:29 – Most of the material that will be quoted in the podcast will come from the book, Attached ● 02:07 – There are 3 cau

Summary: In this episode, Joseph breaks down self-parenting into 4 steps. Nobody is perfect in this world; in fact, we are all flawed and our parents are no exception to this rule. So what do we make of the hurt and pain that was caused by our parents? Moreover, how can we learn to self-parent ourselves and fill in the gaps from our childhood? Tune-in to hear the 4 steps of self-parenting that are essential to our well-being. Joseph will explain why we need to love ourselves, the importance of setting up healthy boundaries in relationships and the value of self-reflection and more when it comes to parenting ourselves. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast ● 00:22 – Today’s episode is about Self-Parenting in 4 Steps ● 00:47 – Learning to self-parent is an essential quality all people must learn ● 01:26 – “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men” – Frederick Douglass ● 02:06 – In an evolutionary psychology perspective, emotiona

Summary: Are you ever hard on yourself? Do you have a tendency to blame yourself for things that are—quite literally—beyond your control? Well, you’re not alone. Lots of people are guilty of being overly critical of themselves. But for you—not anymore. In this episode, Joseph highlights the four most common denials and self-criticisms that, if left unchecked, can ruin your life. Listen to learn how you can keep these four psychological toxins from poisoning the well of your mind. Time Stamped Show Notes: ● 00:22 – Today’s episode is about the 4 denials that can ruin your life ● 00:37 – Humans are the only creatures that can engage in harsh introspection o 01:17 – "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time." – Abraham Lincoln o 01:27 – “You can’t fool yourself all the time” – Joseph Tropper ● 02:07 – The bigger you are as a person, the bigger your blind spot ● 02:33 – As a training therapist, Joseph